UFC 57: LIDDELL VS. COUTURE 3
What a friggin’ night. Overall it was a great night of action, but it ended on such a sad note. I now present my analysis of UFC 57, in the order in which the fights were aired.
- Joe Riggs defeated Nick Diaz by unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28)
Riggs looked like shit in the first round. Diaz clearly won the first, but Riggs came back strong in the second. He busted Diaz open, and maintained control throughout the round. The third could have gone either way, but I think the judges gave it to Riggs because he looked busier; earning a takedown and showing stronger defense. Nick Diaz did not agree with the judges, but we’ll get to that later. Not a bad start to the pay-per-view, and I’m 1 for 1 in my predictions. A note of interest: Before the fight started, Joe Rogan said that Billy Rush claimed that while Riggs weighed in at 169 on Friday, he gained 33 pounds of water weight by Saturday, coming at in 202 to fight Nick Diaz. 33 pounds of water weight in 24 hours? I’m not saying Billy Rush is a liar, but I would think Riggs would be so bloated he wouldn’t be able to stand up, nonetheless go three rounds in the Octagon.
- Renato Sobral defeated Mike Van Arsdale by Rear Naked Choke at 2:21 of round 1
Van Arsdale never had a f*cking chance. His entire offensive arsenal in this fight came in the form of one punch. Next thing he knew, Babalu had him on the ground and got his back. While I did predict this one right (I’m 2 for 2), I couldn’t have been more wrong about Van Arsdale giving Sobral a good fight. Sobral’s next fight will be for the Light Heavyweight Championship, probably at UFC 61 or 62.
- Marcio Cruz defeated Frank Mir by TKO (strikes) at 4:10 of round 1
Talk about an overhyped, disappointing comeback…and talk about me being dead f*cking wrong about Cruz. This is probably one of the biggest upsets in recent UFC history. Cruz’s official record prior to Saturday was 1-0. Frank Mir is the former Heavyweight Champion. It seemed like a no-brainer that Mir would take him out with a submission and move on, preparing for an eventual showdown with Arlovski. Well, so much for that. Mir looked like shit from the start. When Cruz, a guy that looks like he’s never lifted a weight in his life, started laying into him, Mir was lost. The fight was almost stopped after Mir got cut over his left eye, but he told the doctor he would continue, despite the fact that he could not see out of his left eye. Cruz has a ways to go before earning a shot against the winner of Arlovski vs. Sylvia, but he is definitely a Heavyweight to keep your eye on. This fight brings me to 2 for 3.
- Brandon Vera defeated Justin Eilers by KO at 1:25 of round 1
I wrote a haiku for Justin Eilers.
Big fat head, like a Jack O Lantern
Such an easy target for Vera’s feet
I think I’ll just stay here and take a nap
Eilers got f*cked up, with a capital F. Vera kicked him in the head, then nailed him in the face with his shin on the way down, then Vera dove on him, driving Justin’s head into the mat, and followed through with a punch. If Eilers isn’t completely brain damaged after this fight, I’ll be amazed. Brandon Vera is a small Heavyweight, but he proved he can stand up and bang with the big guys. That sounded really dirty. I’m 2 for 4.
- Jeff Monson defeated Branden Lee Hinkle by Submission (Arm Choke) 4:35 of round 1
Jeff Monson is built like a brick shithouse, with a cement block for a head. I can’t believe that someone so muscular can fight like that. This fight was great, not only because I was right on the finish, but because my favorite thing happened after the finish: Hinkle was put to sleep, and woke up with an angry, “What happened?!” I’m sorry, but that’s funny shit. Hinkle actually looked like he was going to charge Monson when he woke up. This dude is f*ckin’ nuts. The last guy I’m going to charge is the massive motherf*cker that just put me to sleep. Back on track, and 3 for 5.
- Chuck Liddell defeated Randy Couture by KO at 1:28 of round 2
It’s hard for me to celebrate Chuck Liddell’s victory, because I’m such a huge Randy Couture fan. It’s a real bitter sweet kind of thing. On the one hand, I love Liddell, and I did pick him to win the fight, but on the other hand, Couture’s loss would more than likely force his retirement. Sadly, that’s exactly what happened. In his post-fight interview Couture announced that he was retiring. It was a very emotional night for the fans, and for everyone involved in UFC. It was definitely not the way I would have wanted to see Couture retire, but he really doesn’t have anything left to prove. Randy Couture was one of the greatest champions in UFC history, and the company won’t be the same without him. Chuck Liddell has also earned the right to be called one of the greatest with this win. It’s too early to tell, with only two title defenses, but Liddell could be on his way to being one of the most dominant champions in UFC history. I’m 4 for 6, but feeling a little sad about it.
- Paul Buentello defeated Gilbert Aldana by TKO (strikes) at 2:27 of round 2
I took a serious longshot by picking Aldana in this fight, but the kid showed some potential. He hung in there with Buentello, taking some serious shots to the head and shrugging them off. With the right conditioning, Aldana could be a good fighter. He was gassed a minute into the first round. You can see why all of his prior fights were over so damn fast, but that approach will not work against someone with the experience of Paul Buentello. I do like The Headhunter a little better though, after listening to his post-fight interview. I’m 4 for 7.
UFC 57 NON-TELEVISED BOUTS
- Keith Jardine defeated Mike Whitehead by unanimous decision (29-28)
I wish I had seen this one just to see Whitehead blubber like a little girl after his loss. I’m 5 for 8.
- Sakara defeated Elvis Sinosic by unanimous decision (29-25, 29-26, 29-26)
Hopefully this fight, and Jardine vs. Whitehead, will be on the DVD release. I end the night 6 for 9 in my predictions. Not too shabby.
RIGGS VS. DIAZ 2
The Wrestling Observer reported that Nick Diaz and Joe Riggs got into a fist fight at a Las Vegas hospital following their fight on Saturday night.
Diaz felt that he won the fight, which was evident when he raised his hands in victory after the third round, and his corner looked at him like he was balls-out f*cking loco.
Diaz and Riggs exchanged words, and Diaz sucked punched Riggs. What a class act. The two fought for a bit, and were eventually separated. Riggs has opted not to press charges. I told you Diaz was a prick.
THE UNUSUAL SUSPETCS
While UFC celebrity fan mainstays Chuck Zito, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Cindy Crawford were in the house, Kevin James and Shaq were nowhere to be seen. Taking their places were Chuck Liddell’s talentless and odd-looking girlfriend, The Ultimate Fighter 1 host Willa Ford, and the spawn of Satan, Paris Hilton. Paris did spend a good portion of the evening with her tit hanging out, so I guess it isn’t all bad (although I would prefer nip-slips from UFC ring girls Amber and Rachelle). Speaking of UFC and tits, Willa Ford will appear in a layout in the March issue of Playboy.
I’m still totally confused by Chuck Zito wearing a suit. Zito without a sleeveless shirt is like Paris Hilton not exposing herself. You come to rely on things like this in life. It’s like a celeb security blanket. I officially don’t know what the f*ck I’m talking about. I’ll see you next week.
