Post Scriptum: What's in a Name?

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A few weeks ago, I was left in a bit of a precarious position. I was in the office at the lovely Cineplex Odeon that I owe my part-time employment hours to, when the boss slipped out to get himself a drink. As I sat in the little room, I noticed a plethora of valuables around me—a sleek noir IPod, flat-screen stereo-type thingy, and a safe, idly left open with tons of -drool—rolled coin piled inside. Despite my klepto-maniacal ramblings however, none of the aforementioned goods quite caught my attention like the sea-blue label maker, sitting within my grabby-hand reach.

You see for years at Cineplex Odeon, I have been Farah. The customers address me as Farah, my co-workers as well—just Farah. That fateful day a few weeks ago, I decided that I no longer wanted to be relegated to the likes of that tiny sticky-tag on my chest. The label-maker and I had a great affair, at the end of which, I had inherited ‘The Great’ as the second half of my nametag. It was kind of like marriage, only…well not. Anyway, in the weeks that have come since then, Farah the Great, has managed to get the attention of just about everyone. Customers love the ‘humor’ of it all, despite its juvenile simplicity and the workers just seem to be whispering a lot about how big my head is getting. The point is–my name demands attention, and causes people to see the light in my character, or you know, scoff.

The whole name-game then, plays a huge part in what the general public thinks of you—and say, your television show. Does anyone remember Three Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place? Rule number one of television show name-making: stick to one noun—maybe two, at the most in titles please. No one needs an essay as a show-starter; if the audience can’t say it, they definitely won’t want to be discussing it, which will put an inevitable butt on the buzz.

Rule number two: stay away from names of towns, cities, or *cough* creeks as the eponymous depiction of your show. Let’s face the facts here—Las Vegas is a big place, with many people in it. If I’m going to judge a show by its cover, I’ll need something a little more specific to draw me in than the name of a city.

Rule number three: Be clever. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a weird name for a show. The multiple nouns, plus sentence-like structure of the title was a little too much to take for a show about a cheerleader whose named rhymed with Fluffy. Upon viewing the show, however, one realizes its multi-faceted nature, and that each component of the name represents a genre the show tries to indulge in. Buffy represents the teenage-drama, Vampire for supernatural elements of the show, and of course Slayer for the action.

The bottom line to television naming then, is to pick smartly. A poor title could lead to a life of rocky viewership, some drug-use, and a potential stay on television’s worst named network—The CW. What’s it stand for again? If Farah the Great can’t figure it out, I don’t know who can.