Usually I don’t do pimps in here, but that one definitely deserves it. Good luck in the future, Aaron.
– I got a Penthouse DVD in the mail yesterday. I have no idea why or how. I’ve never ordered porn in my life. I’ve never been to Playboy’s website. If anyone wants it, let me know.
– In the latest InsidePulse Sports Radio (24), which I usually enjoy, Patrick N tries to make someone else look like a douchebag by being one himself. See, this newer IP sports staffer, Trent Pusey, wrote a little something in his column that Patrick’s column wasn’t entertaining. Patrick sees this as some huge insult and throws a f*cking hissyfit in his IP Sports like “yeah, well I totally own you cuz I’ve been at IP for 2 years!!” Then he does some retarded insult as having an impersonator. He says Trent can keep bashing him, but he will keep doing his little impersonations. Patrick, learn to take a little criticism. For f*ck’s sake, not everyone is going to like your column. I learned that a while ago. Don’t throw a f*cking fit about it.
The NeelDown iMPACT Zone
– There has been some contraversy over the nicknames for Team Canada’s A1 between some of the writers here at IP. So for now on, I will call him the Heintz Ketchup Hooligan.
Austin Aries & Roderick Strong v. Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt
Pretty decent opener. And for a change, it was actually a long match for Impact. Some pretty good spots by all the guys here. Some nice rannas and tornado DDTs, tree of woe dropkicks, you get the picture. Sabin winds up hitting the Cradle Shock on Aries to end Generation NeXt’s winning streak, and therefor it won’t go over well with The Professor of X division in the back.
Winners: Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt
***
– A video highlighting Christian rolls. Lambert already knows I’m going to throw something out of him, hence why in his live Impact report he said “yes Neeley, I’m marking out like a little bitch.” So this week, Lambert gets special treatment. So I’m skipping the witty mark phrase this week, you can thank Jeremy for handling it himself.
Team 3-Diminsional v. Jobbers in the Rough
Thankfully, America’s Most Wanted ended this token Impact tag squash. They say that the fans saved them from kicking their ass, ect. This ends of allowing Team 3D to attack. D’Von gets hit with the Tag Team of the Year Plague of DOOM. In TNA, “of the year” award plagues are the new steel chairs. They are a lot handier actually, because you don’t have to fold them. Then they sing the best national anthem in the world. I actually forgot that AMW were champs. No lie.
Winner: No Contest
-*
Samoa Joe v. Jason & The Job Squad
In case you aren’t one of my usual readers, usually it is Bucky and the Job Squad, Buck Quartermain and Jay Lethal or the other substitute, Kenny King. This week Jason takes the place of Bucky. It actually has a better ring to it, with the J in Jason and Job. We know how this one ends.
Winner: Samoa Joe
1/4*
Abyss & Monty Brown v. Rhino & Ron Killings
Killings hit a nice plancha onto the heels on the outside to start. Later Monty got a nice backbreaker into belly to belly combo. Abyss and Rhino brawled into the crowd and allowed Monty to POUNCE Killings straight to hell for the win. Okay match, but bleh.
Winners: Abyss & Monty Brown
**
– Christian is backstage talking to Sting on his cell phone saying that the outside interference is under control. By Gawd, someone has figured it out! This was obviously pretaped, as he didn’t get any pops.
– Large Against All Odds preview plays.
End of show.
The NeelDown: Eh, skip it.
