The NeelDown SmackDown Zone
– Why am I doing this, you ask? Well, because we at IP are currently running low on SmackDown guys, hence why you might have noticed how we didn’t have a live recapper last night. This way, with me stepping in for SmackDown this week, you get two columns in one day, with the iMPACT Zone coming in later tonight, and three columns in one week with The View From The Cheap Seats. What could be better?
– Norfolk, VA
– Hosts are Tazz & Michael Cole
Rey Mysterio v. Sylvan
Sylvan says Rey has to hide behind the mask because he isn’t handsome. Multiple shots of Rey’s face just have that Shelton Benjamin “trying not to laugh” look. Mysterio takes him out coming down the ramp and keeps on him outside. He springs in with senton then works on a headlock which Sylvan pushes out of but he puts it back on. Again pushed off, but then he kicks him down as the Eddie chants begin to circulate. Mysterio gets a headscissors and goes punchy in the corner. Well, that’s what we want to see I guess. A drop toe hold sends Sylvan into the corner then Mysterio misses a splash and gets croched then an Irish Whip gets Sylvan two. “WCW” sign held up. Man, where are all the creative mands. Sylvan gets a delayed back suplex for two then locks in a bearhug. Rey headbuts out of it but runs into a spinebuster for two. Tazz comments that that move was “right out of the page of Orton.” Firstly, when has Orton EVER done a spinebuster? Secondly, the page of Orton? You may want to add the “out of the book” part ater it. Rey misses a moonsault and gets flattened with a clothseline. Rey however drops him into the ropes for the 619 and drops the dime for the win. **, not a bad opener at all. Afterwards Orton says that despite everything he said about Eddie, he did main event WrestleMania, unlike Rey ever will. Well, that could have gone worse.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
– 44 days until my first live WrestleMania.
– Mysterio runs into Kurt Angle in the back who gives him a lesson with the moral being never say never. Mizark Henry interupts and Rey promptly makes his exit. Mizark says that tonight he is taking Angle and Undertaker out. Well, if that ain’t the understatement of the century.
– Orlando Jordan cuts a promo in the ring saying that he should be facing Booker T for the US title, not Chris Benoit. After all, he is the greatest athlete in SmackDown history. You can all boo, but the fact remains that there isn’t anyone in the lockeroom who he can’t beat. Maybe he means in the Velocity locker room. That was a pretty odd promo. Of all people, JORDAN cutting that kind of promo. Boogeyman kindly accepts the challenge.
Orlando Jordan v. The Boogeyman
Jordan starts by attacking from behind but a kick gets blocked and gets clothselined down followed by the Copy of Test’s Finisher for the win, then spits some worms. How long is this stuff going to continue until Boogeyman gets a mid-card push, or is this his sole purpose? It’s getting old fast. -*
Winner: The Boogeyman
Gregory Helms v. Scotty II Hotty – WWE Cruiserweight Championship
I find it funny how Tazz and Cole can’t get enough of saying how lucky Helms is for being able to jump to SmackDown and got lucky to win the title. Um, are they ignoring the fact that he WON the match, against pretty much all the other cruiserweights they are defeinding? They go back and fourth and Scotty gets sent into the post then Helms gives him a spinning facebuster for two. Helms gets a suplex and drops two leg drops then the cocky step on chest pin for two. Scotty tries CLUBS to get back into it but runs into a clothseline for two. Helms locks in an outside half-nelson but Scotty stands out of it. Scotty lands outside after missing a baseball slide and comes back in with a flying forearm and back elbow. Back drop by Scotty and he sets up the Worm even though he clearly saw that Helms was standng… okay. Helms clothselines him down and gets the Shining Wizard for the win. Helms then says that he can do this to any cruiserweight, so the Mexicools, Kendrick and Spanky, Funaki and everyone else come out and take turns getting their finishers on him. Crowd was still dead, though. Not as good as last week’s Helms match, slow and dull due to Scotty, so *1/2. At least the cruisers are getting SD exposure now, I guess. They’re still getting booked behind the Juniors though.
Winner: Gregory Helms
– Teddy announces that Helms will face all the cruisers in a battle royal at No Way Out. Oh yippie, Royal Rumble all over again.
– Captain Paul Burchill, now sporting the pirate gimmick is confronted by Mr. Kennedey who says that he is a joke. Burchill logically pulls out his sword and puts it up to Kennedey’s throat, so Kennedey kindly reconsiders, saying that they need a pirate in this business. Wow, this one is going far. And where was Octagon Cito and company climbing the walls?
JBL & Fit Finlay v. Chris Benoit & BOBBY Lashley
Benoit and Finlay go back and fourth until Finlay slows it down with a grounded leg lock that Benoit enzigiris out of. Test of strength, won by Finlay but Benoit chops back forcing Finlay to bail. Finlay uses the ring skirt to catch Benoit in it after a baseball slide attempt and he gets caught in it, and JBL stomps his hand several times. JBL continues to stomp the hand inside and works on it in the corner but Benoit chops back forcing Finlay to come back in who continues working on the hand. Finlay gets a powerslam and tags in JBL who CLUBS Benoit down but misses a suplex and Benoit turns it into one of his own. Lashley gets the hot tag and pummels JBL. JBL tosses him out but Lashley gets in quickly but JBL thumbs the eye. Finlay in who runs into Lashley’s big boot. Lashley ducks a big boot on the outside and JBL gives him the Clothseline From Hell. Back inside JBL locks in a sleeper on Lashley who gets out but gets clothselined, but not from Hell. Finlay gets in who gets booted down and tosses off the ropes. Benoit in who goes choppy and gets a back drop on Finlay then gives him a suplex and then one to JBL. Benoit covers JBL but Finlay drops an elbow to break it up. Benoit Germans everybody but Benoit gets the Crossface on JBL. Finlay breaks it up and they go outside where Finlay gets sent into the steps. The ref gets bumped and Booker wacks Benoit with a chair giving JBL the Clothseline From Hell for the win. Booker is also now magically heeled, and tosses his crutches aside. **1/2
Winners: JBL & Fit Finlay
Matt Hardy v. Simon Dean
One of the Gymini pull Dean away so Hardy misses a corner charge. They get banned from ringside then, and Dean shakes his ass in Hardy’s face while stomping him. I thought they FIRED Antonio and the other guy. Dean locks in a front headlock but Matt gets out and gets a side effect and some clothselines then a swinging neckbreaer and powerslam. Hardy drops a second rope elbow drop then gets the Twist Of Fate for the win. A total waste of time, 1/2*
Kurt Angle & Undertaker v. MNM & Mizark Henry
Taker manhandles MNM to start and wants the tag to Mizark. Technically, they haven’t done anything to set up what would cause any heat between Taker and Mizark since Taker is facing Angle for the belt, but whatever. Also, does this mean Angle-Taker will officialy be face vs face? Mizark gets in, and goes to work with a headlock that Taker can’t escape so Angle blind tags himself in to punch but get knocked down with a headbut. Henry is tired after that hard work of landing a headbut and working a headlock, so he tags in Nitro who goes back and fourth with Angle. Nitro is sent to the corner and gets caught in a German release on the recoil. Mercury takes care of an Ankle Lock attempt on Nitro and Taker takes out Mizark. Angle and Taker take care of MNM in seperate corners and then toss them so they can have a cold stareoff but Mizark ends that by clothselining them both to the floor, abruptly. We settle back in with Angle getting choked out in the corner with evil heel MNM antics. Nitro locks in an armbar that Angle gets out of with a jawbreaker. Mercury comes in to enable the tag however and drops a knee for two. Mizark comes in and gets the EVIL HEADBUT for two on Angle. Angle takes him down and locks in the Ankle Lock, which you would think he would have figured out is not a smart logic by now, and Mizark kicks out of it easily, then hits a fistdrop for two. I thought Mizark was supposed to do power moves. Mercury and Angle in, and Mercury gets a rear choke but Angle back suplexes out. Hot tag to Taker who cleans house. Taker goes for a double chokeslam on MNM but Mizark makes the save. Daivari adds in some cheap chokes. Mizark gets a slam for two. MNM hit Taker with a double team suplex. Taker gets some momentum back but it’s stopped by Mizark. Taker gets the DDT on Mizark. Angle comes in and takes out MNM and gets the Angle Slam on one of them. Mizark BIG BOOTS Taker and Angle locks Nitro in the Ankle Lock, and that’s all she wrote. **3/4, could have been a lot worse. Afterwards, Taker Tombstones Mizark to Angle’s amazement.
Winners: Kurt Angle & Undertaker
End of show.
The NeelDown: Overrall not too bad of a show this week, it had its strong points and its week points, but it seemed better than anything RAW has done in a while to me.
