Welcome back to The Bootleg, umm”¦me writing something. So, have I ever told y’all how me and the wife actually met? It was in November of 1995″¦my first year at San Diego State University. Call it “eyes meeting across a crowded computer lab”.
While I’d like to say that music has been the tie that’s bound our love, that wouldn’t be even remotely true. To say we walk in different sonic circles would be something of an understatement. Still, over the years, we’ve found our share of common ground.
We were driving together when we heard that Tupac died”¦and somehow we kept the car on the road. A few years later, I successfully hunted down an import copy of the I Got 5 On It single from The Luniz, which featured an ultra-rare remix that the wife had to have as a birthday gift. For those counting at home, the CD featured five versions of the song”¦all for only $36 after shipping & handling.
And, most infamously, Mrs. Bootleg wanted a certain song during the dance floor portion of our wedding reception. The single in question had made its way to radio, but had yet to be released commercially. Long story short”¦we got the song for the reception, but, unknowingly, it turned out to be what they call in Hip Hop”¦the “dirty” version. Thank God my Grampy John had retired to his hotel room.
Despite our occasional audio disconnects, when this feature was being discussed behind the scenes, I went right to the wife. She immediately rattled off a half dozen love cuts that could qualify, so I knew I had the perfect foil. And, just like everything else we’ve ever done that starts off as a 50/50 split of our commitment”¦she took over.
My attempts to play this up as Bootleg-brand bad comedy (All-4-One’s I Swear, anyone?) were quickly kiboshed by Mrs. B. She even made a preemptive “no Nate Dogg” edict.
Divorce proceedings are pending. Enjoy!
Love Ballad, L.T.D. (1976)
This was the first track that Mrs. Bootleg insisted be included and it’s hard to argue. Thirty years after it first dropped, the song is still the essence of Love, Togetherness & Devotion. Um, that would be both the adjectives and the acronym. Still, if there’s an ethnically creepier album cover than this one, I don’t wanna see it. It’s like the shower scenes of Oz meeting the Romper Room Magic Mirror.
‘Cause I Love You, Lenny Williams (1978)
A seven minute love song? I’m pretty sure in all recorded history only “every Boyz II Men video ever made” had to beg the ladies longer. Lenny’s style was almost entirely stolen by former Death Row Records recording artist Danny Boy. On the plus side, the two of them can compare notes during their next closing shift together at Hot Dog on a Stick.
You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine, Lou Rawls (1976)
Wait”¦which one was the Black singer who got hit by a car? Oh, that was Ben Vereen. If memory serves, he once danced with Webster. Mr. Rawls is affiliated with the United Negro College Fund, which, by my count, is one of the last three remaining public uses of the word “negro”.
Me & Mrs. Jones, Billy Paul (1972)
What would a love mix be without a song or two about infidelity? Should I be worried that the wife so eagerly nominated this one or more worried that in all the times I’ve heard this cut, I never knew who sang it? The 10th Commandment has nothing on a really good song about cheatin’. Unless that song is TLC’s Creep, but that’s another feature.
A House is Not a Home, Luther Vandross (1981)
Originally written by Burt Bacharach and first performed by Dionne Warwick in the ’60s, it’s hard to believe that this one wasn’t even released as a single on Luther’s debut album. The concept of the cut was given a twist on Tupac’s posthumous outtake Happy Home. What? Hey, if I don’t use up these obscure surplus Shakur references, how will we ever remember him? You’re welcome.
I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston (1992)
This one set a personal record for me, in the category of “hit single from a movie soundtrack that I know most of the words to, yet I’ve never seen the movie it’s from”. Anyone else think that Dolly Parton could just live off the residuals for the rest of her life? Maybe, she can finally bankroll that sequel to 9 to 5 that we’ve all been waiting for. Boy, I sure hope Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda and Dabney Coleman can clear their calendars.
Lovin’ You, Minnie Riperton (1974)
Well, hell”¦I can’t, in good conscience, mock too much here since the artist died of breast cancer at the age of 31. However, I can direct the few of you who have never heard this classic song to Eddie Murphy’s Nutty Professor movie, where he spoofs it in a pretty funny scene. And, yes, that is the first instance of “Eddie Murphy” and “classic song” being used so close to each other. Let us Party All the Time in celebration.
Too Much, Too Little, Too Late, Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams (1978)
Ah, sweet “Niecey”. I confess to having a soft spot for her on the basis of her 1975 single Free which has been sampled by about 100 different rappers. Of course, my favorites among these is Eastside LB by The Twinz and You Can’t F*ck With Queen Bee by Lil’ Kim. Hope those royalty checks were worth it, Ms. Williams.
Ribbon in the Sky, Stevie Wonder (1982)
After Mrs. Bootleg completed her love mix “first draft” (don’t ask), I noted that she might’ve forgotten the most important love song of them all. I know this bit of hyperbole to be true, because years and years before we got married, the wife informed me that this would be “our song” during the “first dance” segment of the eventual open bar n’ free feedbag known as our wedding reception. At least she put more thought into that than I did into the “mother-son” dance song (A Song for Mama, Boyz II Men). We had 120 guests, and 119 of them would’ve bet the farm that I was going with Dear Mama by what’s-his-name.
The Closer I Get To You, Donny Hathaway & Roberta Flack (1977)
This was another obvious choice, but not for the reasons you might think. Sure, this duet was arguably Hathaway’s biggest hit and a wonderful remembrance of a man who died at 33 (his death was ruled a suicide). But, I’ll remember Hathaway as the man who wrote the theme song for Maude. What’s not to love about a man associated with the television breakthrough of a young Bea Arthur and a cast that included the actors who would become “Mr. Drummond” and “Blanche Deveraux”?
Cheek to Cheek, Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald (1891?)
I imagine this was the 19th century’s version of Ja Rule and Ashanti. And, I can’t be the only one who would pay top dollar to bring Satchmo back in modern times just to hear him steal Ja’s “It’s Mur-DAH” catchphrase. OK, OK”¦this album was first released in 1956 and is considered a classic in any era. Still, I can’t get past the album cover. If you squint, it almost looks like Raj from What’s Happening is sitting next to a life-size bottle of Mrs. Buttersworth.
The wife came up with dozens of other songs from hundreds of years ago. Let’s share on Yahoo or AOL IM: ajcameron13.
