The Velocity Report

Archive

I’m very tired and in a less than grand mood tonight. So, this is sure to be exciting!

Opening Contest : Super Crazy verses Vito
Whatever happened to the Big? Very usual opening gets Crazy into the corner, before Vito then continues the usual stuff with a headlock into whip segment. Crazy with a hiptoss, dropkick, another dropkick sends Vito out of the ring, allowing Crazy to get a vaulting body press to the outside. Crazy begins to get some chants going (although he should have been long counted out), and Vito gets the upper hand with a punch. Back in the ring Vito nails a clothesline for a two count. Suplex by Vito follows into a top rope diving elbow for another two. Not every day I see Vito go up top. Camel Clutch applied by Vito, but Crazy ends up good guying out of it with some elbows. Vito slamming Crazy into the mat before failing a elbow drop, with Crazy rolling out of the way. Crazy with a shoulder toss, elbow, and spinning kick. Another shoulder toss by Crazy before he gets Vito in a crucifix into sunset flip pinfall for two. Crazy with another pin cradle for two. Vito with a powerslam, before Vito goes back up top, but a body splash misses and Crazy goes up top instead! Crazy with the missile dropkick and standing moonsault splash for the victory!
Winner : Super Crazy

Kind of weird way to end the match, but a rather solid way to open Velocity actually. Surprisingly solid. Seven out of Ten.

Commercials.

Recap of SmackDown : Chavo attacking Randy Orton. Rey Mysterio being put in the WrestleMania Main Event. The goodness of these two segments died off the very second we saw them close on SmackDown. Just a side note that I only just realised: Why the hell did Rey Mysterio need to apologize? This has about as much logic as a superhero called “Captain Generic”.

Commercials.

Clip of Eddie’s Hall Of Fame Video. EVERY single time this just makes you feel emotional.

Second Contest : Sylvan verses Shaun Patrick
Sylvan gets on the microphone and says so stuff before hand. Like I said before, get the guy a manager. Sylvan starts off by attacking Patrick in the corner with punches and kicks, irish whip into the other corner results in a clothesline. Sylvan throws Patrick out of the ring, and military presses him into the security rail. I didn’t know Sylvan could do that. Back in the ring Sylvan chokes Patrick using the middle rope and nails a reverse bronco buster, before slapping him around a bit. Sylvan with a nice sleeper hold variation , but Patrick surprisingly gets out with punches, a eye poke, and a drop kick. Patrick goes up top and jumps off with a cross body, but Sylvan reverses it and nails a TKO for the victory.
Winner : Sylvan

. . Sylvan’s suddenly gotten a bigger moveset. While a nice way to put Sylvan over, with a pretty nice and effective (not RAW / Carlito effective) squash. Albeit, a squash is a squash, and really doesn’t deserve more than Four out of Ten.

Commercials.

We return to a Junior’s Match. I don’t do them, as you may remember.

Commercials.

Main Event : Simon Dean and The Gymini verses Funaki, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick
Note to Josh Matthews : Shut up about the damned Church Of Simonology. G1 starts off with London. G1 throws London into the corner, but London gets the upper hand with kicks and elbows. London tags out to Funaki, who nails a double axe handle to G1’s shoulder. Funaki quickly shouldered down, before a scoop slam. Tag out to Dean. Funaki with a hip toss to Dean, before nailing a bulldog. Kendrick accidentally distracts the referee as Funaki goes up top only to be dropped onto the top turnbuckle by G2 . . I think. Tag out to G2. G2 with kicks and elbow drops to Funaki for a two count. G2 continues the kicks in the corner, before nailing a double arm suplex for a two count, broken by London. Tag out to G1. G1 goes for a suplex but Funaki gets a small package for a two count. G1 chokes Funaki at the ropes before tagging out to G2. Kicks in the corner before another tag out to G1. More kicks in the corner . . before Dean is tagged in. Um, okay. That’s logical, you dumbass. Dean with MORE kicks, but Funaki begins to mount a small comeback. Dean takes him back to the corner, but Funaki gets another comeback! Punches to each of the Gymini until Dean punches him back down. Dean with a nice headlock into DDT before nailing some knees to Funaki’s head. Headlock continued to Funaki, Gymini distracts the referee which is, of course, signal for the good guys to get a tag! Originality at it’s most manufactured, people! Kendrick in but Funaki back into the opposing corner. Tag out to G1 (or whatever), nice punch and kicks before a tag out to G2. Double team flapjack by the Gymini for a two count, broken by Kendrick and London. Tag out to Dean. Dean with some kicks to Funaki, before Funaki mounts his fourth comeback. Enziguri knocks Dean down. Tag to G2, who gets an eye rake by Funaki, who tags in BOTH – yes, BOTH – London and Kendrick! Double team dropkick to G2! Another to G1! Elbows to G2! Double team superkick to G1! Double kick in the gut to G2, before stereo dropkicks to G2! Dean in, who gets a double forearm smash! Dean clotheslined out of the ring. London goes outside but gets slammed down hard by G1. Meanwhile, in the ring, Kendrick goes for Sliced Bread Number Two on G2, but lands on G1 who nails a gutbuster for the victory!
Winners : Simon Dean and The Gymini

I loved the ending half of this match. London and Kendrick continue to work perfectly as a tag team and should be wrestling for the Tag Team Championship at WrestleMania! Seven out of Ten for a nice way to finish Velocity this week. It wasn’t a perfect match, especially with all the kicking, and the somewhat paint by numbers workings to the match. However, I’ve always wanted to see two partners tagged in at once, and in all fairness, this match did push the Gymini, Brian Kendrick, Paul London, Simon Dean, and Funaki. Six men in desperate need for a solid push.

Match Rating
Super Crazy verses Vito 7/10
Sylvan verses Shaun Patrick 4/10
Simon Dean and The Gymini verses Funaki, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick 7/10
Velocity 25/02/06 18/30

18/30 makes a rather good Velocity. Until next week, Ciao Yáll.