This weekend was just a pile of music excitement.
Friday night led me once again to Club Underground for the release party of Avenpitch’s new album, Butterfly Radio. Performances included Thosquanta, the Mystechs, Avenpitch, and High Blue Star. Unlike last week where I had one hell of an anger management problem regarding one of the bands, these four were all solid in their own ways… well, as solid as you can be with the buckets and buckets of technical problems. Poor Avenpitch kept randomly losing power or having some other issue with their backing track, causing them to drop mid-song. They made up for it with good humor and the world was a happy smiling place.
Then, there was Saturday night, which sounds a hell of a lot more glamorous than it really was. I was out cavorting with the fine folks in the entourage of Lolly Pop, and our first stop was hanging out with Takumi Suetsugu, a guitar tech who has worked with far too many bands/musicians to list. The man was extremely gracious and cool as f*ck (to put it mildly), letting us jam on instruments and eat tasty snacks as he battled setting up a tour for a band he’s helping to manage. (I got to play a theramin, whoo!) Afterwards, we headed over to Paisley Park for the Prince after-show party. Ms. Pop name-dropped our way out of paying the cover, and thank goodness for that as the party was pretty lame. We did get to see an amazing set by the Legendary Combo, but the crowd was unappreciative and it’s no surprise that Prince stayed hidden all night. Ahhh well.
No, I don’t miss Iowa. Thanks for asking.
Alice In Musicland
First, I wanted to post this COMPLETE AND TOTAL BITCHSLAP that made me spit water all over my monitor. From my favorite metal gossip source, good old Blabbermouth:
QUIET RIOT drummer Frankie Banali has responded to remarks made by SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s John Dolmayan in a recent interview in which Dolmayan appeared to slag QUIET RIOT off for “liv[ing] way outside their means and squander[ing] whatever they made” during the peak years of their commercial success.
In an interview published in the March 2006 issue of Drum! magazine, Dolmayan is quoted as saying, “I learned the second mistake by not making it. Bands would live way outside their means and squander whatever they made. QUIET RIOT made $20,000,000 apiece, and now they’re playing 500-seat venue shows to survive. That’s sad to me. Surround yourself with the people that you grew up with that you trust. I maintain my relationships with the people I knew before SOAD became the juggernaut that it is.”
Writing to his official web site, Banali issued the following “open letter” to John Dolmayan in response to his remarks in Drum! magazine:
“Dear John,
“Fascinating interview. While I think you are an excellent drummer in a wonderfully popular band, know about what you speak of before doing so.
“I personally never made $20,000,000 dollars as you wrote. Not even close, not even a clean million. And we did indeed as a band spent and wasted monies on tours, production, recording, videos, etc., like any other band does. We also signed a terrible record deal, but I accept that. And while I was comfortable and enjoyed the initial success that QUIET RIOT afforded me in much more humble ways than you imagine, I did not squander my money as you claim, but instead took care of my ailing mother who eventually succumbed to cancer which she suffered from 1982, which predates my success with QUIET RIOT, until her death in 1990. So that you may be enlightened, I too keep my relationship with family, and with friends that I knew before the not so juggernaut that is QUIET RIOT. I even keep in touch on a regular basis with all the members in my first garage band when we were still teens. I may not have the popularity, success, or prestige that you now have with ‘SOD’ but I certainly have values.
“As to playing 500-seater clubs, sometimes less, sometimes more, and I appreciate every single person that comes to see us.
“I wish you well and enjoy the success your fans currently afford you while you have it. I’ll leave you with a favorite George Harrison song title: ‘All Things Must Pass….'”
If that was too long to read, here’s my summary:
SOAD drummer: Hahah, Quiet Riot was famous and now they’re poor. STUPIDS.
Quiet Riot drummer: I spent all my money taking care of my dying mom.
SOAD drummer: I like cake.
Actually, as awesome as that was, it leads into a discussion I was having earlier this week with certain folks regarding bands that were huge in the ’80s but squandered all of their money. Oh, there were plenty, and if you were to talk to Kevin DuBrow of Quiet Riot, he’ll tell you that he was likely the worst offender. Guys from Warrant and Winger have day jobs. It’s one thing to be a band like Motley Crue or Guns ‘n’ Roses where the royalties will keep pouring in and they’ll never have to worry about being broke (aside from alimony).
Here’s what happens in many cases (on an extreme scale, mind you): you have bands. They like the idea of the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. So when they start making money, they want to start spending money. Most people, if handed a check for $75,000, would pay off loans and maybe put a down payment on a house, saving or investing a good chunk of it. But bands, they have dreams, and they have an idea of the quality of life they would like to have. And so, this $75,000 turns into a Ferrari and a pimp cup. What they fail to realize is that it takes success to keep receiving those checks, and many of them at that point think they are so famous, so important, that they can fart Jingle Bells and the world will love it. The money stops coming in, and then what? Bye-bye, marble floors in the Hollywood hills. Macaroni and Cheese is on sale, 48 cents a box… time to pawn the Strat.
Yes, it’s stupid, but a lot of bands did it. A lot of bands still do it. They’re not necessarily dim-witted, it’s just that they want to live their dream. It’s short-sighted, sure, but a natural reaction to the situation. And more than one other musician in this world has pointed and laughed at others’ mismanaged finances only to find themselves paying 20% of their profits to their manager, 15% to their agent, paying salaries for their techs, gas, hotel, and food costs… gee, it’s not so funny now, is it.
Speaking of the has-beens and trying-not-to-die faction…
ANTHRAX guitarist Scott Ian has confirmed that he is taking part in a new VH1 reality TV show, tentatively titled “Supergroup”, along with Ted Nugent (guitar), Evan Seinfeld (BIOHAZARD; bass), Sebastian Bach (ex-SKID ROW; vocals) and Jason Bonham (BONHAM, UFO, FOREIGNER; drums). Filming for the program commenced this week in Las Vegas, with the premise being to lock several musicians in a house for 10 days and get them to write and record some new original music. Originally the network wanted the group to record an album, but at this time it is understood they will settle for one song and hope for more. In addition to the five musicians, star manager Doc McGhee (KISS) is in charge and is also living in the house for the duration of filming/recording. The show will air on VH1 later this year.
I have an affection for everyone on this show — seriously. I love Ted Nugent; he might be just a weeeeeee bit too conservative politically for my taste, but he’s a nutjob with intelligence and conviction. I can respect that. Evan Seinfeld was on Oz and killed off f*cking Timmy Kirk so he has my everlasting thanks. Sebastian Bach was my dreamboat through junior high school, Bonham’s “Wait For You” is still one of my favorite songs ever, and Scott Ian is just plain fun.
I’m still not going to watch it, though. If it’s not going to end with Evan Seinfeld jamming flash bulbs down people’s throats, it’s not worth my time.
Here’s a story from E! Online that kind of makes me sad:
George Michael was woken up, only to “go go” directly to jail over the weekend.
The 42-year-old singer was arrested in central London Saturday night on suspicion of drug possession after police discovered him slumped over the steering wheel of a car, according to published reports.
Officials were called to the scene after a passing motorist noticed the singer’s condition and became concerned. Paramedics examined Michael but determined he did not need medical attention.
A search of the former Wham! frontman’s car reportedly yielded small amounts of cannabis and the club drug GHB, also known as liquid ecstasy, according to London’s The Sun.
If convicted of possessing Class C drugs, a category that includes cannabis, tranquilizers and some painkillers, the “I Want Your Sex” singer could face up to two years in prison and an unlimited fine under British law.
As Michael has already copped in past interviews to using both pot and ecstasy as a means of combatting depression, it’s unlikely that his latest arrest will result in any major revelations about his personal life.
I love George Michael. I always have. And I don’t mean that in any sort of fornication train of thought — I think his voice is magical and he should donate sperm to all the ugly people in the world so that we might start to fix the horrors of genetics that seem to have sprung up over the years.
But the man is kind of a whackjob (seriously, I did not mean that as a pun). No, I’m not saying gay = crazy, but I am saying he’s done a lot of astronomically dumb things over the years that anyone with an ounce of common sense could have avoided. If your neighbor tells everyone he uses drugs and then gets busted for it, he’s an embarrassment in his workplace, his friends, his family, and his neighbors. Worst case, he might have to move to another town and start over. If George Michael gets busted for it, he’s an embarrassment to the whole damned world and there’s no escape. Everyone knows forever! Celebrities can’t all be that stupid, can they?
Anyway… George, before you finally lose it and off yourself, get thee to a sperm bank pronto. Where Michael Hutchence failed, you can succeed.
Your Band Here
Same drill! If you are in a band and would like a quick little review by yours truly, shoot me an email or add me to your MySpace friends and I’ll put you on the list. If you have friends in bands, let them know! Everyone loves free press, even if I’m mean. Honest! I mean it!
We’re going all European this week.
Thales:
Someone’s been paying attention — metal from Finland is always pretty high on my list of goodness before I even press play. They describe themselves as “progressive melodic death metal,” and to be honest, that clusterf*ck of a description is dead-on accurate. I had to crack up though when I saw in their profile: Since the last demo “Ad Mortis Infinitum” (2004), we have made a change in our sound. We dropped our tune from E to D. Please, I do hope that metal nerds out there finds this as hilarious as I do.
Highlight: Technical proficiency is pretty high on the list of highlights here. The two songs posted on their MySpace site definitely showcase that. The songs are fairly well structured as well, something that tends to get lost when everyone decides they’re the next Yngwie.
Lowlight: Vocals. They’re not all bad, but they’re sloppy as hell. I know that growling isn’t necessarily meant to be in key, but the cleaner vocals are the issue as I hear a lot of wandering and flat. Practice could help, but ProTools will help a lot more.
Secret Discovery:
It’s the Germans’ turn! And what could the Germans possibly know better than gothy hard rock? Apparently nothing, because holy f*cking shit, these guys have it nailed in every possible way. And yes, German language lyrics! Very, very pleasant. One of my favorite bands of all time is My Dying Bride, and I would say these guys are sort of what I would imagine a German version of that band would sound like.
Highlight: I’m not sure where to start. Tight songwriting, beautiful sound… I hear far worse bands signed to labels stateside. If they sang in English, I bet the Hot Topic kiddies would eat this up with a spoon.
Lowlight: Still looking for it. “Weck Mich Auf” has a goofy chorus that sounds kind of power-metal and out of place, but that’s my only real complaint at this point. Good stuff.
Almighty Guardians:
Now here’s an interesting bunch. Straight outta Hamburg is this unique act fusing metal and rock with folk. It’s not an entirely new concept as metallers in Scandinavia have been reaching back to their Viking roots for years now. But this isn’t just metal with grand themes; it’s literally this weird hybrid of metal and folk. It’s a neat concept.
Highlight: How they came up with this sound, I have no idea, but it’s rather sonically captivating. “Downfall” is probably their best song from a musicianship and songwriting sense.
Lowlight: This isn’t a well-recorded bunch, but that’s okay. The biggest problem is that the vocals sound uneven and just plain awful at times, but if they properly recorded and mixed, it might sound better. This doesn’t change the fact that half of the lyrics are all sung in the exact same tone, however. Sing or don’t sing. Pick one.
My Opinion Matters
Mailbag time, as I received two letters in particular that made me really gets-ta-thinkin’.
From our own Eric Szulczewski (which I can ALMOST spell from memory now):
Just wanted to throw this one at you for a thought. I was thinking about what you said regarding Chinese Democracy, and came to the exact opposite conclusion. With these leaks, GnR is actually better off NEVER releasing it and either disbanding forever for a formal Axl solo career or moving on to a different project.
Here’s how I came to that conclusion. Chinese Democracy has now reached mythic proportions as Rock Vaporware. However, it’s actually purged itself of the negative connotations of being a vanity project that’s dragged on too long through the bad press and recriminations of the former Gunners (is Velvet Revolver or whatever they called themselves still together?) and ascended into the status of mythology. That’s happened more than once in rock history, and look what’s happened when these so-called mythical projects were released.
Brian Wilson’s reputation as a mad genius was cemented by Smile and the extracurriculars surrounding that. The album became rock’s most popular and prevalent myth. When Wilson finished it with Van Dyke Parks a few years ago, the myth flew out the window and Wilson’s rep took a hit. Yeah, it was really good, but the myth was better, if you know what I mean. Now look at Tom Scholz. Moody perfectionist pissed off at his record company, that was cool. We always lamented the loss of the third Boston album because of those problems. Then Third Stage came out, and we wondered why we were making all this fuss. Lifehouse was always better in its disintegrated form as Who’s Next and the myth of what could have been than as an actual project. What we heard about Prince’s Black Album was better than what we actually heard on the album.
Axl is better served by never finishing Chinese Democracy at this point. The leaks have greatly enhanced the myth status of the project, because now we have something concrete on What Could Have Been. It’s now gone over the border from Potential to Actual Sense Of Loss. That can only enhance his and the project’s reputation immensely.
I wonder if Billy’s thinking this way. It’s only another six years until GnR become eligible for the Hall of Fame, and having a Lost Project on the books would greatly appeal to the mythologizers who populate the voting committee. We all know about his ego and the fact that his reputation means infinitely more to him than actual music on the shelves. If Chinese Democracy never comes out, he gets to have his cake and eat it too at this point.
And these are fantastic points, I have to say.
I think the future of this project rests on one thing: Axl’s delusions of grandeur. Eric is extremely right when it comes to enigma factor, and if Axl is really looking to carve that sort of path for his destiny, he’s doing a spectacular job. But how much of Axl is there inside who wants to release this album and have it critically lauded as the greatest thing since Pet Sounds? Is he the kind of person who needs that end-product reward, or is he the type that just likes the whispers?
One other thing to point out, especially when we’re talking about moody perfectionists like Prince and Brian Wilson: they’re generally regarded as out-of-their-skull batshit crazy. Scholz and Townsend aren’t much better. Is Axl that nutty? I mean, most of us would agree that he’s on a Prince level of weirdness, sure. The difference being between Axl and the rest of these guys is that they’re generally regarded as musical geniuses. Does Axl have enough musical genius in his backpack that he can be considered their equal? Sure, Appetite For Destruction is great and all, and both Illusion discs have some phenomenal content. Still, in some circles, Guns ‘n’ Roses still tends to have the negative stigma of a Sunset Strip band. He hasn’t universally charmed the elite critics. He just might need Chinese Democracy as leverage to prove he can run with the big boys and not that he’s just a whiny hack.
Great alternative perspective though. I definitely think we could both be right.
Remember last column when I trounced poor local Minneapolis act, Yume? I received this note from one Daniel Atari:
Wait, so you’re saying some local, unsigned/unknown band played at some little club and sounded horrible ?! Whoa, let me call the 11 o’ clock news. Gloomchen, really … who cares ? I mean, I you make it sound as if every band that plays together, be it in their garage or out on stage, are out to make some sort of profound statement and totally rule with a dictatorship over the world. A lot of bands don’t play for that reason. They just play because they enjoy making songs together, thats it. For you to critique every missed note, their boring appearance, even to how their gear was set up … well, that just makes you lame. Every one who has ever been to a show already knows that the majority of local, unknown bands are not good. Why even bother talking about another one. Here you are with a public forum and rather than informing your readers of a really great, original band, you choose to talk about Yume. Who cares about Yume ? I don’t! . No one does. When you mentioned that this band sucked and you walked out with the smokers, you did the right thing. But when you started critiquing every little detail about them, well, that made you come across like some phony talent scout. It seemed very self righteous and pretentious of you. Let people play music just because they love to. No one has to NAIL notes and play with a variety of guitar effects in order to do just what they love to do. Who are you to take that from any one ? And just the way you hinted that this gifted bass player should find another band to play in is sickening. These are just people who like hanging together and making noise, let em. Why should you care how much starch they put in their shirts ?
Pardon all that punctuation mess. I didn’t do it.
I love this rationale. Who am I to critique, who cares about my opinion, who cares if these guys were awful? Here’s the thing: yes, I could sit here all day promoting great bands. If you watch the majority of my columns, that’s what I tend to do. I’m actually very forgiving when it comes to unsigned acts and would rather give constructive criticism rather than just run around saying, “you suck haha!”
So why don’t I just leave them alone? That, my friend, is called being passive. We all paid a cover charge — we paid to be entertained, not tortured. Sure, we could all just walk out and let that do the talking for us, but it’s rather chickenshit, too. Or rather, it’s very “Minnesota Nice,” a concept I’m getting quite the crash-course on.
What I saw that night was a band who has no business getting paid to perform because they are not on par with other bands who should be getting paid to perform in their slot. Can they love making music? Sure! Fantastic! But love isn’t talent. My mom loves to sing along with the radio but she’s tone deaf as hell. Would you insist that if my mom got paid to go up on stage to sing that everyone in the bar (who paid a cover, mind you) shouldn’t be pissed as hell?
The Rad Ones
Alex Lucard and I went saw the lovely National Geographic Live: Wings Over Africa. I was all in once I found out the speaker was once gored by an elephant. Good times.
I had to giggle when I saw the title of KDP‘s latest column.
Mike Eagle‘s BEST COLUMN EVER! Everyone gets knocked the f*ck out! It’s great!
The ever-dependable Chris Lamb keeps our metal covered with a review of the new In Flames disc.
And more stuff all over. Read stuff! It’s good stuff.
Outro
Not a whole lot left to say, really. Next week, I’ll be covering the Opeth show I’m seeing this Friday, and then I’ll rip the dreams away from a bunch of rhythm-impaired wannabes. It’ll be a good time.
Oh wait, one more moment of amusement. My car accident that I had six weeks ago? Turns out it was right in front of Paisley Park. I had no idea. How hilarious. It makes a lot more sense now that the sheriff was on the scene in no greater than 90 seconds after the accident happened.
And that’s it. Anticlimactic, I know.
Switch me on, turn me up,
–gloomchen
