The RAW Events
— The Olympics have come and gone, and so has the Raw WrestleMania Title Tourney… what do they both have in common? Both had disappointing endings! Okay, maybe I’m being a little to harsh, but hey neither Canada nor USA won a single medal in the men’s hockey and in the opposite end, HHH won the tourney. Sigh, maybe tonight will give us some hope for WM.
Washington D.C.
Hosts: Joey Styles, King and The Coach
The MAIN Events
– World Tag Team Title Match: Val Venis & Viscera vs. Kane & Big Show
The double V team gets no entrance which doesn’t start things on a good note for them, and even more so as Venis starts the match against Kane, getting the big boot quickly to the face. Viscera gets tagged in, but Kane keeps the advantage for a while until Vis hits the Samoan drop for two! Another big boot connects on Vis as Show gets tagged in and delivers a huge shoulder block to knock down Viscera. Body slam connects on big Vis with a follow up leg drop for two! Kane clears Venis and a double chokeslam buries Viscera for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Kane & Big Show (4)
– Money in the Bank qualifying match: Trevor Murdoch vs. Rob Van Dam
Well Murdoch seems to be the second casualty in tonight’s no entrance theory. Big RVD chants roar through the crowd (note: If RVD doesn’t win the Bank match, unless someone enters the match that is extremely more deserving than he is, from tonight’s crowd reaction, and last week’s, then there is something seriously wrong here.) RVD takes a bad dive outside and gets grounded inside the ring by Murdoch. RVD battles out of a headlock, but is quickly knocked down by a HUGE clothesline that locks in the move once more. Spinning heel kick connects on Murdoch while trapped in the corner; another kick hits him in the middle of the ring and follows up with a rolling thunder for two! Windmill kick delivers and sets up the 5-star frog splash for the win.
Winner: Rob Van Dam (3)
– WWE Women’s Title Match: Candace Michelle vs. Trish Stratus (Champ)
Mickey is the special guest announcer for the match. And as I type this, has anybody seen the new Diva’s lingerie magazine? One word… damn! Torrie announces future playboy covergirl Candace Michelle. Bell rings and Candace gets the quick hit with her wand into Trish’s midsection and does the Go Daddy dance. Trish puts in a couple of rights and does the matrix, getting in a drop kick for two! Torrie tries to help on the roll-up pin but ref catches it, giving Trish the chance to reverse and get the win. Mickey after the match worships Trish for a while, burying her face within Trish’s legs. Hmmm.
Winner: Trish Stratus (5)
– Money in the Bank qualifying match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero
Shelton has that certain swager now with the IC strap around his waist as this match is fast past from the get go, mainly getting Chavo high air with Benjamin dominating the from the get go. Headlock slows things down a bit, as Chavo moves out and changes the mood of things getting in a botched move in between. Three amigos is cut off at two as Shelton throws Chavo out of the ring. Mama pulls in the ref’s attention as Chavo hits a DDT. But out of nowhere, Randy Orton runs in and gets the RKO to give Shelton the win.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin (2)
– Money in the Bank qualifying match: Carlito vs. Ric Flair
Flair’s run at another title shot begins tonight, as Flair gets Carlito in a whole bunch of submission and lock maneuvers to start off the match. Carlito finally slugs away in the corner to break up Flair’s hold and stomps away in the mid-section. Flair quickly bounces back, getting some momentum back until Carlito stops a whip against the ropes as he pulls himself outside (almost looking as if he pulled his shoulder out of the socket with that move.) Back from the break, that action has spilled onto the outside as Carlito back body drops Flair in the mat. Things come back in and this time it’s Carlito who puts on the headlock until Flair battles out, but goes wrong as he tries to go up top but is reversed. Carlito goes to get his apple and takes a bite, but Flair puts in a kick to the mouth and getting the roll-up with a little help of the ropes to qualify for the Money in the Bank.
Winner: Ric Flair (1)
Quick HEAT
— Edge and Lita start off tonight’s show with Mick Foley’s ultimatum. We get a no-show from Foley as Lita pulls out two plane tickets set towards Mick’s hometown. But cue the crashing car as Foley appears at the entrance, saying that Edge has got it all wrong, getting in the cheap D.C. pop. And saying that Edge choked. Mick denies Edge’s proposal to WM, saying he has nothing to prove to him as he is the 3-time transitional champ, making him the greatest transitional champ ever!! But Edge says he does have something to prove, as Foley has never truly won at WM, while the rated-R superstar has never lost. But Foley says even though he rejects the “wrestling” match at WM, he does challenge Edge in a Hardcore WM match. So just to help his decision Foley goes to the back and comes back out with a barbed-wire baseball bat, clearing the ring as Edge and Lita go through the crowd.
— Todd Grisham is backstage with Ric Flair, wondering what he thought over the loss of the IC title. But everyday for the Nature Boy, life gets better saying he still has one more title run in him.
— Marty Jennety meets up with Shawn backstage as he tells him that he doesn’t have to go out their and kiss Vince’s ass. But this isn’t for him, this is for himself. Because things have changed, and he doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t have a car and is desperate to get this job, asking Shawn to stay out of it.
— Maria interviews Carlito as he announces the second Money in the Bank match as WM for the WWE title. Three qualifying matches will be tonight to decide who gets into the match at WM. Because that’s cool!
— Coach berates Cena on how he doesn’t have a chance of beating HHH, cueing the Game’s entrance. HHH goes on his usual rampage on how he is great and how he will get back his title because he deserves to wear it. And here come the very loud boos for Cena as HHH buries his character completely calling him a transition champion, wow, what a team player. Again, a complete burial of Cena, and this was just verbally. Usual WM hype. Vince shows up saying that Cena and HHH will team up in NBC’s Saturday Main Event against Smackdown’s own team of Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, and Kurt Angle.
— WWE Hall of Fame Inductee: Mean Gene Orkerlund
— HBK confronts Vince about the kiss my ass club, begging to leave Jennetty out of their feud. But Jennetty will kiss Vince’s ass.
— Before the break, Vince gives us a sneak peek of his man thong.
— The Cheer Squad open up the Kiss my Ass ceremonies to introduce the leader of the group. Vince lets us know how Jennetty has gone rock bottom ever since leaving the company many years ago. So Marty finally comes down to the ring and goes down to one knee to kiss Vince’s ass, taking his sweet time to drop the pants. After a grueling amount of time, Jennetty finally refuses as Vince decides there is another way to get employed: he must break the Master lock. Okay, this has gone from bad to worst… cliff notes version, Masterlock applied, Jennetty almost gets out, Vince kicks and Marty eventually kisses his ass. HBK runs in to make the save, but is clocked by a hidden Shane McMahon as HBK kisses the ass too! And as he lies unconscious, Vince announces that in Saturday Night’s Main Event, HBK will go one on one against Shano-O-Mac and come WM, will take on Vince himself to end the show.
RAW Analysis
— Wow, did we get a busy, busy show tonight. And to top it off, it wasn’t bad!! Good pull off how they squeezed in a qualifying tournament for the Money in the Bank match which made things interesting. Even though it was a good show, doesn’t mean there wasn’t any bad: HHH/ Cean and Vince/kiss my ass, Yawn! Although it should be noted that Saturday Night’s Main Event is shaping up nicely. And here’s to another big EVENT that goes to my best friend Michelle (who’s the biggest Mickey Mouse fan in the world) who celebrates a very important day for her tomorrow, hope it’s the best one yet, so without further to do….
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
