Well, thanks to Punxsutawney Phil, supposedly we are going to have six more weeks of winter. Let’s just hope Hollywood is as forgiving in March with its latest theatrical releases. The first two months of the year have been bad for movies. Grandma’s Boy, Big Momma’s House 2, The Pink Panther. Not to mention the retched movies that raked in the cash at the box office. It seems that thirteen year olds would rather see a babysitter in a house for an hour-and-a-half than watch a romantic comedy like Something New or the sports drama Glory Road.
For March, Hollywood studios give theatergoers some new movies that are sure to entertain and delight.
Here is what’s on tap for the weekend of 3/3 – 3/5/06.
16 Blocks – March 3, 2006. Rated PG-13. The Tagline: For a New York cop and his witness, the distance between life and death just got very short.
Bruce Willis, Mos Def, and David Morse star in a new action-thriller by Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon). Willis is burnt-out cop Jack Mosley. Still hung over, Jack has been assigned the task of transporting a prisoner (Mos Def) from the jail to the courthouse 16 blocks away. Traffic is bad, but the two have 118 minutes to get there. So they walk. During the transfer Jack finds out this convict is supposed to testify against some of his NYPD brethren, and said colleagues want the witness dead. Part buddy film, part thriller, 16 Blocks should appeal to those who are fans of Bruce Willis or are looking for a good popcorn flick.
Aquamarine – March 3, 2006. Rated PG. The Tagline: A Fish-Out-Of-Water Comedy.
Two teenage girls love this broken down beach club near their home. After a huge storm drenches the mainland, they discover Aquamarine, a mermaid, in the pool of the beach club. As the two girls get the mermaid accustomed to life on land, Aquamarine falls in love with the young guy who runs the food bar of the club. To win his heart, the mermaid asks the girls for help. It’s like Splash only it’s for kids. File this one under teenage girl chick flick.
Dave Chappelle’s Block Party – March 3, 2006. Rated R. The Tagline: You’re invited to the party of the decade.
Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) directs this documentary about a block party held by comedian Dave Chappelle. The film mixes sketch comedy with musical interludes by the likes of the Central State Marching Band, The Roots, and a reunion by The Fugees. Those who miss “The Chappelle Show” probably want to catch this.
Ultraviolet – March 3, 2006. Rated R. The Tagline: The Blood War is on.
With a tagline like “The Blood War is on,” you would think it was another Blade movie. Kurt Wimmer’s (who directed the vastly under appreciated Equilibrium) movie looks like a retread of the dismal Aeon Flux, but I have hope. In the late 21st century, a subculture of humans have emerged who have been modified genetically by a vampire-like disease (Hemophagia), giving them enhanced speed, incredible stamina and acute intelligence, and as they are set apart from “normal” and “healthy” humans, the world is pushed to the brink of worldwide civil war (a war between humans and hemophages) aimed at the destruction of the “diseased” population. In the middle of this crossed-fire is – an infected woman – Ultraviolet (played by Milla Jovovich), who finds herself protecting a nine-year-old boy who has been marked for death by the human government as he is believed to be a threat to humans.
With four movies vying for your money, I’d break them down like this (from best to worst):
1. 16 Blocks
2. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party
3. Ultraviolet
4. Aquamarine
But that’s just my opinion. What do I know?
(All poster art courtesy of www.impawards.com)
