Opeth. OPETH. Opeth.
I’ve been listening to the band for only maybe five years. Considering they’ve been around for sixteen (although their first album was recorded eleven years ago), I’m not really all that oldschool. Still, I adored their last album, Ghost Reveries, and was enthused when my dahhhling boyfriend actually suggested getting tickets to see them when they hit Minneapolis. He’s not really a metal guy, you see. Whether he was doing this out of genuine interest or because he knew I loved them I’m not sure, but it was his idea.
Dark Tranquillity and DevilDriver were opening. For those unaware, I can’t stand DevilDriver. I saw them play in East Dubuque approximately two years ago with Superjoint Ritual and Morbid Angel. I remember thinking that they put on one hell of a great stage show; my friends and I enthusiastically hunted down their album and were massively disappointed. Worse than disappointed, really. That disc was god-awful. Of course, that could be said of the latest discs of all the bands on the bill, but I did go in with optimism.
The plan was to miss DevilDriver and catch Dark Tranquillity. Unfortunately for our plans, they actually had Dark Tranquillity opening. What the hell? Okay, maybe I’m this euro-metal elitist and all, but nobody should open for f*cking DevilDriver. They’ve been long since declared to be crap by nearly every critic on the face of the earth. Their fans are either hangers-on from the Coal Chamber days of Dez or they’re just completely unknowledgable when it comes to metal and just like anything that’s loud and chugga-chugga.
Maybe I’m just bitter about missing Dark Tranquillity. Okay, I am, but it could be worse. I did lose the tickets on the way to the venue, and I was lucky enough to find them on the pavement nearly two blocks away. Missing Opeth would have been a big shiny maraschino cherry on top of a whipped cream and turd cake.
Enough with the hate; let’s move on to Opeth. They opened with “Ghost of Perdition,” making me extremely happy as I could start immediately with a song I knew well. Remembering setlists isn’t my strong point, although they did play a couple of other songs from the new album. Also, “Under the Weeping Moon” from their first album, Orchid, “Serenity Painted Death” from Still Life, and a wide smattering of other songs taken from the full range of their catalog. Encore was “Deliverance” and it just completely brought the entire house down. Others attending who had seen Opeth live before mentioned that this was better than previous shows, not that those were any slouches themselves.
After seeing Opeth, I’ve officially dubbed March “Wank Month” as I’m going to see Dream Theater on the 17th. Any other self-indulgent prog/tech metal coming my way? I’ll be ready and waiting.
Alice In Musicland
Built To Spill is hitting the dirt and touring like madmen this spring. I’ll be there opening night. If you can’t party there with me, here’s where else you can catch the band:
4/11 – Minneapolis, MN – First Ave
4/12 – Minneapolis, MN – First Ave
4/13 – Madison, WI – Barrymore Theatre
4/14 – Chicago, IL – Metro
4/15 – Chicago, IL – Metro
4/16 – St. Louis, MO – Mississippi Nights
4/17 – Columbia, MO – Blue Note
4/19 – Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck
4/20 – Tulsa, OK – Cain’s Ballroom
4/21 – Little Rock, AR – Vino’s
4/22 – Memphis, TN – Young Ave. Deli
4/23 – Nashville, TN – City Hall
4/24 – Urbana, IL – Foellinger Auditorium
4/25 – Indianapolis, IN – The Vogue
4/26 – Columbus, OH – Newport Music Hall
4/27 – Detroit, MI – St. Andrews Hall
4/28 – Millvale, PA – Mr. Smalls
4/29 – Buffalo, NY – Town Ballroom
4/30 – South Burlington, VT – Higher Ground
5/1 – Boston, MA – The Roxy
5/3 – NYC – Irving Plaza
5/4 – NYC – Irving Plaza
5/5 – NYC – Irving Plaza
5/6 – Philadelphia, PA – Trocadero
5/7 – Philadelphia, PA – Trocadero
5/8 – Washington, DC – 9:30 Club
5/9 – Washington, DC – 9:30 Club
5/10 – Carrboro, NC – Cat’s Cradle
5/11 – Carrboro, NC – Cat’s Cradle
5/12 – Atlanta, GA – Variety Playhouse
5/13 – Athens, GA – 40 Watt Club
5/14 – Birmingham, AL – Zydeco
5/16 – New Orleans, LA – House of Blues
5/17 – Houston, TX – Warehouse Live
5/18 – San Antonio, TX – White Rabbit
5/19 – Dallas, TX – Gypsy Tea Room
5/20 – Austin, TX – Stubb’s BBQ
All I have to say is… holy ouch, that’s one hell of a schedule. What is there, three days off? That’s insane.
Now, on to the land of oddity. Via Blabbermouth:
According to MelodicRock.com, the April 2006 issue of Japan’s Burrn! magazine features Eddie Van Halen on the cover with the heading “The End Of The Reunion” (view cover image at this location). Inside is an exclusive new Michael Anthony interview conducted in February 2006 by the magazine’s U.S. correspondent John “Shooter” Harrell. The interview with Michael is apparently a starkly honest and forthright conversation with the highly respected bass player. One of the statements from Anthony in this interview is the confirmation that he did not play bass on the three 2004 tracks  “It’s About Time”, “Up For Breakfast”, and “Learning To See”  included on the band’s greatest-hits album, “The Best Of Both Worlds”. That is just one of many insights into the dysfunctional band that is revealed.
So many times when I start these columns and I see a news item like this, I think to myself, “I could write an entire article of 18 paragraphs on this topic.” Maybe I will. But not right now.
You know what the real problem with Van Halen is? When they gave the boot to Hagar, they lost their free source of premium tequila. It’s been such a steep spiral into the abyss ever since. Not that Balance wasn’t already a signal that things were going into the shitter, but at least they still seemed like human beings at that point. Now we have Eddie Van Halen with tongue cancer, alcoholism, and divorce. We have Michael Anthony — arguably just as talented as Eddie — completely booted from production. Not that they have a singer at this point, really. Everything is disaster. And I swear to you, it’s all tequila. If you’ve done shots of the stuff, you know this.
Now, proving that I am the expert of everything ever:
According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Sebastian Bach (ex-SKID ROW) and Evan Seinfeld (BIOHAZARD) “engaged in fisticuffs” back at the Parisian Palace in Las Vegas after a night out last week.
Bach and Seinfeld just spent 12 days in Vegas shooting a new VH1 reality TV show, tentatively titled “SuperGroup”, also featuring Scott Ian (ANTHRAX; guitar), Ted Nugent (guitar), and Jason Bonham (BONHAM, UFO, FOREIGNER; drums). Filming for the program commenced on February 22, with the premise being to lock several musicians in a house for 10 days and get them to write and record some new original music. Originally the network wanted the group to record an album, but at this time it is understood they will settle for one song and hope for more. In addition to the five musicians, star manager Doc McGhee (KISS) was in charge and was also living in the house for the duration of filming/recording.
The all-star band, which is calling itself DAMNOCRACY, performed a headlining set at the Empire Ballroom in Las Vegas Sunday night (March 5).
GO BIOHAZARD! GO GET THE FLASH BULBS!
When I saw the lineup for this band, I knew it was going to end up in some people losing teeth. Scott Ian, Ted Nugent, and Sebastian Bach are all famous for shooting off their mouths. Jason Bonham will spend all of his time noodling around on drums in the corner while Evan Seinfeld takes all these other punks to the floor.
THAT is what I want to see on camera. C’mon, Evan! VISUALIZE TIMMY KIRK!
Alright… alert, South Park fans:
Asian female singer WING (photo), who is originally from Hong Kong and now lives in New Zealand, has published a two-track CD entitled “Wing Sings AC/DC”, featuring very “unique” renditions of two AC/DC classics, “Highway to Hell” and “Back in Black”. An audio sample of WING’s version of “Back in Black” is available for download at this location (MP3, 300 KB).
This might have been more shocking if Pat Boone hadn’t already done the crazy bastard metal-where-it-doesn’t-belong schtick. Instead, oh holy goodness, listen to it! As if Bon Scott and Brian Johnson’s voices weren’t piercingly obnoxious enough.
And here’s a last piece, some more food for thought, still from Blabbermouth here:
SEPULTURA members Andreas Kisser (guitar) and Derrick Green (vocals) recently spoke to the U.K.’s Terrorizer magazine about the persistent rumors of a possible reunion with founding member and current SOULFLY frontman Max Cavalera for a spot on this summer’s Ozzfest.
“This rumor has been going around for f*cking years, man,” answered Andreas with a world-weariness that suggested he’d been asked this question many times before. “Max had been out of the band for five minutes and people [were asking us], ‘When are you guys getting back with Max?’ So many people are jumping on the [reunion] bandwagon at the moment  you know, JUDAS PRIEST and ANTHRAX  they’ve thrown away all the stuff they’ve done recently and gone back 15 years to the classic formations. It’s total bullshit. With Max, it’s hard to listen to anything he says in the press, because it’s all so contradictory. He says he’ll never play with us again, then he’s saying that maybe he’ll only play with Igor [Cavalera, SEPULTURA drummer and Max’s brother]. You don’t know what to believe. I think SEPULTURA has too much respect for their fans and for Derrick to do something like that just for money. The rumors will always be there as long as we’re still playing.” But if someone were to offer them a million pounds to do it? “No, I don’t think so. Something like that could totally destroy our reputation. I do miss Max. I have three kids now and he only knows one of them, same with Igor, who has four kids now. We built something beautiful together and all this f*cking stupid stuff gets in the way. I haven’t spoken to him in almost ten years now, since the Brixton Academy gig [in London in December 1996] when he quit.”
Added Derrick: “I found these rumors absurd, and I’ll tell you why. You look around at these bands like MÖTLEY CRÃœE and ANTHRAX, who have reformed the so-called ‘classic lineups.’ It lacks any originality, it’s like they’re furiosly backpedaling, playing old songs and trying to recapture the old days. I guess once you’ve done the tour, what’s left? If you record a new album, it will suck. In my eyes, bands like this are dead to me. People ask about Max all the time. To get Max back would be like a punch in the face for me and the band, for the work we’ve done since he left, and a slap in the face for the fans. You know, never say never, but I don’t think that will ever happen. It’s like the label think it’s an easy way to make money, it’s a sure bet. ‘Fuck the band! This is about cashing in.’ Fuck that! That’s why I f*cking hate the music industry.”
This is another novella I could write, but I’ll keep it to the point:
Post-Max, Sepultura sucked. Soulfly has always sucked.
Beyond that, there’s the notion made by Mr. Green about original lineups. Never mind that he’s a replacement vocalist, so it’s likely that he would say something of this nature, but really, it’s pretty damned far off the mark. Anthrax’s classic lineup, yes — that was done for the money. But Motley Crue? They only lost Vince for one damned album. They’ve continually recorded new material. It’s not good material, but dammit, they’re trying. They’re not backpedaling. Poison might have been a better example for him to use, but that’s not a vocalist issue.
Is Max nuts? You betcha. I wouldn’t want him in my band either. But Derrick’s response smacks of self-preservation. Rather than insult other bands, he should focus on not sucking. It just might sell a couple of records.
And finally, from the AP, chosen for timeliness:
Forget the suspense over best movie or actor or actress — the real question on Oscar night was whether Three 6 Mafia could actually perform a cuss-free, non-graphic version of “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.”
In one of the most exciting performances for a best song, usually characterized by bland performances of even blander songs, the Memphis rap group gave a rousing rendition of their song from “Hustle & Flow,” then took the Oscar home to boot.
They are probably the only Oscar winners to pick up their trophy wearing throwback jerseys, sneakers and diamond-studded teeth. Though they thanked all the same people Phillip Seymour Hoffman would — their mothers, family, etc. — their euphoric, giddy delivery made the moment even more surreal.
“I just couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t stand still,” Jordan “Juicy J” Houston said backstage. “I had to run somewhere. I started to run somewhere. People thought the police was probably chasing me somewhere.”
It wasn’t exactly something you’d see on the Source Awards, with the “Fame”-like dancers and choreography. But the performance from the group best known for their raw street-life rhymes stayed true to the gritty essence of the song.
Have I ranted on Three 6 Mafia here before? I don’t remember if I have or not. But I can say I’ve owned a few records, and I can say without a doubt in my mind that “Sippin’ On Some Syrup” is perhaps the worst rap song I can name. Well, maybe not as bad as Master P’s “Hooty Hoo,” but it’s up there. Their last album featured a song about spinning rims. I’m sorry, but that’s stupid.
And now they have an Oscar.
I’m not a hater of hip hop. I am a hater of Three 6 Mafia. Was it the best song nominated? Probably. It’s the Oscars. They know music about as well as I know sports. I just can’t believe… ugh. Pile ’em up with Celine Dion in the Oscar crapfest.
Your Band Here
Is it that I’m looking to find some sort of salvation from all the craptacular garbage littering the music scene today that I spend so much time seeking out and critiquing unknown bands? I guess if you were looking into it more deeply than you need to, you might come to that conclusion. Nah. I just like to be helpful. And honest opinions aren’t nearly as common as one might like to think they are. Don’t believe me? There has been at least one band reviewed here who had a friend contact me to say, “I’ve always had the same opinion of [x song] but never had the heart to say anything.”
As always, another offering of unknowns from the shores of MySpace comes flyin’ at ya with a ton of my heavy-handed opinions. If you’d like a share of the attention and press space, email me or add me on MySpace.
ON WITH IT
The V Effect:
Experimentalism. Years ago, I ran a text ‘zine called Anada (you can find the archives here). In those fledgling days, I was friends with a couple of experimental musicians. This isn’t music for the casual ear. You won’t hear it on any radio station. It’s art, and I’ve learned to appreciate it as such. Good thing for The V Effect.
Highlight: “Rainforest Mood 1” has some very interesting sonic contrasts. And while “Depth In Blue” is their only truly structured song (including lyrics), all of the songs posted do have a structure of sorts. Without some sort of structure, you’re not making songs. Lots of experimentalists forget this.
Lowlight: There’s one issue: The Curse of the All-Too-Familiar Synth. One of my friends tossed me this link regarding the phenomenon, and the songs posted by The V Effect reminded me distinctly of it. Time to twist some new sounds, guys. Resist the Enya factor.
Coybito:
Am I going to get in trouble for reviewing these guys? I’ll take my chances. Actually, this Brit band sounds surprisingly parallel to the Minneapolis electropunk scene. Lots of music that sounds happier than happy, yet very dark and sometimes angry as hell. They list influences of Joy Division, Blur, Sleater-Kinney and Jack Off Jill. That really does a lot to sum up their sound.
Highlight: There’s quite the healthy helping of individuality here, even with a strong punk flavor and a tendency towards standard punk structures. The musicianship itself seems purposely lo-fi and it works very well even considering the synth element. I really dig “Fragments.”
Lowlight: The vocals drive me crazy. They’re quite punk and they’re really not mixed right to match the rest of the music — it almost sounds recorded straight from live performance, which it might very well be for all I know. Either way, the quality is very distracting.
Necropolis:
Poor guys will have to change their band name should they ever start distributing outside of Bangladesh. Yeah, Bangladesh — death/black metal from Bangladesh. It’s good to know that even in the middle of godforsaken nowhere, metal lives.
Highlight: Ohhhh, the musicianship is strong, even though they only have one song posted for your listening pleasure. Aside from the bass, which can’t be heard, although the band is kind enough to explain why on their MySpace page. Even still, they really sound tight.
Lowlight: It’s hard not to sound exactly like every other death and/or black metal band in existence. These guys need to find something unique, some sort of niche for themselves.
The Rad Ones
The week is summed up (or something like it) by Shawn M. Smith.
Tom D’Errico discusses the merits of Killswitch Engage.
It’s not a new concept, but considering I delved into similar territory, KDP is more than free to discuss the joy and rapture of awards shows.
Sometimes, people other than Lucard write for the Culture section. Let Danny Wallace show you how to drink.
John Cavanaugh takes the time to review this year’s Best Picture.
Tom Pandich over in Games tries not to rag on the PSP.
And if I had to continually recommend anyone at all in our wrestling section, it’s always going to be Eric S. Perhaps together we can gang up and save Siouxsie from Family Restaurant mass-market hell.
Outro
What’s been leaked? Queensryche’s Operation Mindcrime II, that’s what’s been leaked. Those out there in illegal bootleg land have been saying it’s probably 75% of the album that the original Operation Mindcrime was. While that may sound disappointing, this still would make the new disc approximately 900% better than Tribe. If you’re anxious but not willing to chance it with the RIAA, your release date is in April. Start saving up now, you know how pricey CDs are these days.
Wish I had more to say. You’re probably glad I don’t.
Every open hand’s there to push and shove,
–gloomchen.
