InsidePulse DVD Review – Yours, Mine & Ours

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Director:
Raja Gosnell

Writers:
Ron Burch (screenplay) &
David Kidd (screenplay)

Melville Shavelson and Mort Lachman (1968 screenplay)

Madelyn Davis and Bob Carroll Jr. (1968 motion picture story)

Helen Eileen Beardsley (book Who Gets the Drumsticks?)

Cast:

Dennis Quaid ………. Frank Beardsley
Rene Russo ………. Helen North
Sean Faris ………. William Beardsley
Katija Pevec ………. Christina Beardsley
Dean Collins ………. Harry Beardsley
Tyler Patrick Jones ………. Michael Beardsley
Haley Ramm ………. Kelly Beardsley
Brecken Palmer ………. Ely Beardsley
Bridger Palmer ………. Otter Beardsley
Ty Panitz ………. Ethan Beardsley
Danielle Panabaker ………. Phoebe North
Drake Bell ………. Dylan North
Miki Ishikawa ………. Naoko North
Slade Pearce ………. Mick North
Lil’ JJ ………. Jimi North
Miranda Cosgrove ………. Joni North
Andrew Vo ………. Lao North
Jennifer Habib ………. Bina North
Jessica Habib ………. Marisa North
Nicholas Roget-King ………. Aldo North
Rip Torn ………. Commandant Sherman
Linda Hunt ………. Mrs. Munion
Jerry O’Connell ………. Max

Relase date: Out currently
Paramount Pictures and MGM pictures and Nickelodeon movies and Colombia Pictures present
Running Time: Approximately 87 Minutes.
Rated: PG for some mild crude humor

The Movie

The original Yours, Mine and Ours was a surprise hit in 1968. It was well received, earning a Golden Globe nomination for best picture, and several other accolades. It stars Lucille Ball, Hank Fonda, and some notable kids including those who did the voices for Linus and Johnny Quest.

Basically, my point here, is that this film does little to justify its existence. I guess that thing should be expected from director Raja Gosnell, who as brought us such flicks as Big Momma’s House, Home Alone 3, and both Scooby Doo movies. I’m fairly certain that Raja himself can’t quite justify his existence; that is, unless his goal is the death of all happiness.

Anyways, the remake stars a slumming Dennis Quaid as a widowed Coast Guard Admiral, which strikes me as something akin to a Salvation Army General. (I kid… go Coast Guard!) Quaid takes his eight kids, moves to his hometown, and hooks up with his high school flame, middle-aged eye candy Rene Russo, at their 30th reunion. By hooks up, I mean marries the selfsame day.

So, Rene is a widow handbag designer with 10 kids of her own. Well, six of the ten are adopted, but they are still her own I guess. By virtue of including the taken-in foster kids, the movie is afforded the luxury of having sassy negro son, Asian daughter with video camera, effeminate Asian 2nd grader with an eye for decorating, etc. It’s all vaguely offensive, but damage to sensibilities are mitigated by the fact that none of the other kids is terribly deep either. They include such fully realized characters as cheerleader, girl with saxophone, preppie running for class president, twin, other twin, the Jewish friend from “Jack and Bobby”, and shaggy haired boy.

You know it is a little weird. They’re 30 years out of highschool. So they’re pushing 50. But their oldest kids are still in highschool. You’d think that people with that many kids woul’ve started having some before age 30. I’m just saying.

At any rate, there are 18 kids for 2 parents, so some sort of hilarity is supposed to ensue I presume. Helping Quaid and Russo is androgynous midget Mrs. Munion (slumming Oscar Winner Linda Hunt). The kids all decide that they can’t work together, and the only way to set things right is by working together to destroy the joyful union of their parents.

Rip Torn cashes a paycheck as Quaid’s superior, and Jerry O’Connell shows up as quite possibly the only actor in the flick that isn’t slumming. There is some awkward and contrived physical comedy, mostly done by Quaid who must have been confused for Randy. We got 0 dead bodies, 0 breasts, pot-belly pig fu, home renovation fu, gerbil ejection, low speed boat chase, gratuitous performance by Christian alt-rock band, and one semi-hot daughter that looks like Rachel McAdams.

Score: 4/10

The DVD

The Audio and The Visual:
No complaints.

The Box
Absolutely nothing is in the box. It is also one of those annoying clamshells that has the two latches on it. Gar

Special Features

My Gods. What sort of person needs all of this shit? Honestly. Who could possibly care? Let’s go over what we got.

Deleted Scenes: Two short sequences that really don’t change anything. Commentary track are optional on both. Whoopie.

Commentary Track OF THE DAMNED: Raja talks over the flick with all the enthusiasm of me waiting for an English muffin to toast. He seriously sounds like he is in desperate need of a nap, as he repeatedly calls things “really fun” and “one of his favorite parts in the movie.” What makes things even worse is that the guy has this strong creepiness about him. He vaguely looks and sounds like Ted Levine’s character from Silence of the Lambs. I’m not saying that he has a woman suit at home, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he got busted for having a stash of kiddie porn.

I’m not saying he IS a pedophile, just that if he WERE it would not surprise me.

Behind the Scenes Video Diary: So, they gave all the kids camcorders, and thus the kids spent their time taping the other kids dance, being goofy, doing the old “extreme close-up” bit, etc. That’s ten minutes of my life that are never coming back.

Inside the Lighthouse: This smells vaguely of one of them “HBO: First Look” deallees where the actors broadly speak about their characters and the movie for about twenty minutes. It’s like an extended cut of something you would see in a theater before the trailers and in between the jumbled up picture of Tom Hanks.

A Documentary on the writing It’s about 5 minutes dissecting how the writers and director destroyed the original award winning script of Yours, Mine and Ours, to make this thing.

TWO documentaries on the casting! One is about 7 minutes, and the other one is about 6 minutes. I don’t even remember what most of the kids look like. Who is this appealing too? I guess it makes the child actors look more important so that they will have something to remember fondly after they are arrested for holding up a liquor store in 10 years.

Setting Sail with the Coast Guard: 5 minutes to explain that, yes they used the real Coast Guard, and that the Coast Guard has people that work on media relations.

Your Big Break: Advice for aspiring young actors. The kids spend about 5 minutes spouting bland truisms like, “be prepared for rejection” and “you need your parents’ support. “

Trailers! Two trailers for this movie, and a bunch of other trailers for stuff as varied as Aeon Flux and “The Brady Bunch” on DVD.

Let’s see quantity minus quality… eh, we shall give it:

4/10