Tonight I’m in a very get to the point mood. Mostly because SmackDown today is, well . . you can assume.
SmackDown this week starts off with the World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry and Daivari waltzing on out. Your average run of the mill promo follows which brings out Angle. Henry and Angle brawl which, in turn, brings out Orton and Mysterio. It really is an extraordinary segment if you watch something in it’s place, say, Alias, or the Vicar Of Dibley. The entire segment takes a good ten minutes. Ten entire minutes of boredom induced boringness. Sigh, let’s hope things get better.
Commercials.
Opening Contest : Money In The Bank Qualifier : Finlay verses Lashley
The fight starts in the aisleway with Lashley sending Finlay into the apron. Finlay gets the upper hand and, long story short, brawl equals security. The brawl leads outside and eventually Lashley tries to drop a car on Finlay.
Winner: No Contest
Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. No rating because, well, I really do doubt that can even count as a match. I don’t know if the bell even rung.
Commercials.
John Bradshaw Layfield makes his way out. His does his usual stuff; longest reigning champion and such. Basic trash talking to Stone Cold Steve Austin which leads into a Beer Drinking Contest at Saturday Night’s Main Event. That leads into trash talking to Chris Benoit. Thrree strikes so far tonight and yet everything is just lame. Sigh. Oh, by the way, has anyone else noticied that come this year’s WrestleMania then JBL has had three title matches in a row at WrestleMania. There’s something to think about. For some reason.
Backstage, Gregory Helms talks with Theodore Long. Helms go injured at the Brisbane, I believe, House Show the other day. Defending the Cruiser Weight Championship so often is beginning to take it’s toll on Helms and, in a nutshell, Long sets him up with Benoit tonight. By the way, all of this is going on memory so far, it’s all on mute. Being set up against Chris Benoit with a nose like that ought to suck majorly.
Later tonight: Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio verses Randy Orton and Mark Henry with Daivari, with William Regal verses Paul Burchill coming up next!
Commercials.
Video clip re: WWE Tour of Australia and New Zealand.
Second Contest : William Regal and Paul Burchill
I’ve been looking forward to this. Burchill swings into action$. Insert drums here. Arm action to start before Burchill nails a hip toss into another armbar. Regal sends Burchill outside, and as he makes his way back in is met with a knee to the head. Knee drop onto the back of Burchill’s neck on the apron. Knees to Burchill’s face in the ring before Regal locks in a reverse full nelson. Burchill escapes but is quickly on his back after a failed sunset flip, elbow drop by Regal gets a two. Regal looks to have a choke on Burchill before throwing him down. Exploder gets Regal a two. Burchill gets the upper hand with a spnning elbow, some kicks, and a nice little jumping clothesline. Reverse atomic by Burchill. Standing eziguri gets Burchill a two count. Regal gets a high knee before choking Burchill at the ropes. Out of nowhere Burchill gets his flipping Rock Bottom for the victory.
Winner: Paul Burchill
I liked this match. I like Regal, and I like Paul Burchill. I think this storyline is kind of beginning to work for him. It was all Regal, let’s not deny that, so only a four out of ten.
Coming up next: the Divas Undressed match between Kristal and Jillian Hall, but it looks like Booker T and Sharmell are making their way out!
Commercials.
Booker T and Sharmell come out with a bag “full of letters”, and we all know where this is headed. Some funny letters leads to Theodore Long coming on the titantrons and telling Booker T that he’ll be facing Boogeyman at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Thank the lord it isn’t Booker T verses Boogeyman at WrestleMania. Booker T for Money In The Bank, baby!
RAW Rebound: the Shawn Michaels and McMahon segments.
Commercials.
Sherri Martel Hall Of Fame video.
Third Contest : Diva’s Undressed Match : Kristal verses Jillian Hall
For those of you who are dull when it comes to the rules of the Diva’s Undressed match, just reference your closest Bra And Panties Match. You know who Jillian Hall is beginning to remind me of, actually? Dr Blighte off Captain Planet. Hall attacks Kristal to begin and sends her flying via her hair. Hall slams Kristal face first into the mat, irish whip gets Hall a failed clothesline and gets Kristal a cross body. Hall rips off Kristal’s top very quickly. Kristal with a rather stern tackle considering it’s Kristal. The two battle in the corners a bit, with Hall going into the middle turnbuckle before nailing a kick into Kristal’s gut. After a sunset flip, Kristal strips Hall of her dress. Hall nails a scoop slam and tries to strip Kristal but fails. Another Scoop Slam attempt is reversed by Kristal who, as she is dropped down, rips off Hall’s top.
Winner : Kristal
Post match, because she’s a WWE Diva and that’s how they think apparently, Kristal strips just for the hell of it. Erm, okay. One out of Ten. I’m not going lower because I was expecting so much less from Kristal.
Commercials.
Fourth Contest: Champion Vs Champion: Chris Benoit verses Gregory Helms
Who thought we’d see this match, eh? Benoit tries to take a swing at Helm’s nose. Lock up goes into the corners and Helms gets a knee into Benoit’s gut, before laying some punches into Benoit. Choke attempt is stopped by Benoit grappling Helms’ nose. Benoit with a shoulder toss. Snap supplex by Benoit. Helms and Benoit exchange chops and kicks, but Benoit reverses a kick and looks to go for the Sharpshooter! Helms escapes and punches away at Benoit, who then lays into Helms with chops. Benoit into the ropes but Helms nails a very sudden drop toe hold, followed by a leg drop. Neckbreaker by Helms followed into an armbar and sleeper hold combo. Benoit gets out of it via Helms letting him out. Benoit goes for the Sharpshoooter again, but Helms escapes. Sleeper hold by Helms on Benoit which leads to a quick arm drag. Benoit back into the ropes followed by a sweet high kick by Helms. Benoit gets a German after avoding a scoop slam attempt by Helms. Punches by Benoit, irish whip into forearm smash. Helms goes for the Shining Wizard but Benoit locks on the Sharpshooter!! Helms tries to make his way to the back but Noble, Kash, Kendrick, and London send him back into the ring! German by Benoit is followed by the Swandive Headbutt!! Helms is up but is back down in the Crippler Crossface for the victory!
Winner: Chris Benoit
I liked this match. Though, then again, compared to what’s on tab tonight, that’s not saying much. I want to see more of these two, I’m a fan of Benoit taking on the smaller men and anything to get the Cruiser Weight Championship important is fine by me. Seven out of Ten for an enjoyable, albeit too short, match.
Commercials.
Candice Michelle Playboy video.
Recap of the Road Warrior Animal / Matt Hardy stuff from last week. We get an interview with Animal. The gist of it is that he can’t depend on any tag team partner. Road Warrior Animal verses Matt Hardy is set up for next week. Man he looks older without the facial paint.
Commercials
Main Event: Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio verses Randy Orton and Mark Henry with Daivari
I barely survived the last time these bastards wrestled. But there isn’t exactly too much left in the show tonight, so hoorah. Orton and Angle start off. Some nice wrestling verses mind games stuff. Angle takes Orton down with some amateur wrestling and gets him in a headlock, which leads to our usual irish whip into shoulder block for a two. Mysterio tagged in. Headscissors by Mysterio to Orton, before Mysterio quickly sets up the 619 only to have Henry drag Orton out of the ring.
Commercials.
We’re back in time for Mysterio to be punching Orton in the corner, before Mysterio goes to head up top. Daivari temporarily distracts Mysterio, before Angle scares him off. Mysterio jumps off but Orton nails a dropkick to Mysterio. Tag out to Henry. Henry takes it to Mysterio in the corner, before sending Mysterio down with a headbutt. Henry with an obvious choke, stopping before the five count. Knee to the gut by Henry before tagging out to Orton. Knee drops to Mysterio’s throat leads into punches for a two count. Tag out to Henry. Henry nails some offense before tagging out to Orton. Orton with a sleeper hold at the ropes. Orton takes Mysterio down with am armlock before Henry comes in. Henry throws Mysterio into the corner, but Mysterio nails some dropkicks. Mysterio jumps onto Henry, who catches him and nails a military press. Henry goes for a splash but Mysterio rolls out of the way just in time. Tag out to Angle and Orton! Clotheslines by Angle and German by Angle on Orton! Angle goes for an Angle Slam but Orton falls down, going for an RKO but Angle reverses it and goes for the Ankle Lock! Henry stops the Ankle Lock just in time. Tag out to Mysterio, who jumps up to the top rope and nails a dropkick to Henry. 619 on Orton! Mysterio up and nails a Seated Senton for a Two count, broken by Henry! Angle with Uppercuts on Henry, stomps on Orton before Orton sends Angle into the steel steps. Henry takes out the referee! Daivari gets a table from under the ring and pushes it into the ring. Henry puts Mysterio onto the table and goes to go up top! Angle pulls Mysterio off the table and takes punches to Henry! Angle looks to try to send Henry through the table, but Orton is in for the save! Orton nails Angle with the RKO! Orton pushes Angle onto the table, with Henry still up on the turnbuckles, before Henry jumps off and sends Angle through the table!
Winners: No Contest
Post match replays of Henry sending Angle through the table play. Hm, Three out of Ten. The lights go out and the bells begin! We hear Taker over the PA System, who simply says “You. Me. WrestleMania. In A Casket Match”. You’d think they’d go all out and instead have a Buried Alive Match, instead now people are expecting a repeat of Taker verses Yokozuna. Why would I not be surprised if that’s what they have in store? Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
William Regal verses Paul Burchill. 4 / 10
Jillian Hall verses Kristal. 1 / 10.
Gregory Helms verses Chris Benoit. 7 / 10
Randy Orton and Mark Henry verses Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio. 3 / 10.
Bonus Points: 6 for pushing Burchill, Kristal, Hall, Helms, Lashley, and Boogeyman
SmackDown 10/03/2006. 31 / 40.
They were so lucky they pushed so many wrestlers this week. It’s just a pity there’s not really any positive remarks outside of the Champion Vs Champion and the fact that Six Wrestlers were pushed today. A completely missable show, and rather bland and boring. Oh well, until Velocity. Ciao Yáll.
