Marvel News & Views

A HATTON PARTY IS A

HATTON PARTY CUZ A

HATTON PARTY IS A

PARTY THAT DON’T STOP!

And you can find here at:

Welcome one and all to the place for all of your completely riffed upon and stolen Marvel News, as we discussed last week – Marvel Stolen News & Views. I’m your fine reporter James Hatton, and there isn’t a LOT of news this week, so I will be doing my best to stretch out those few things we have, and turning them into a column worth getting mad at me over.

Let’s get too it, shall we?



FANTASTIC FOUR – THE HAMMER OF THOR – STRACZYNSKI AND MORE!
(Blatantly ripped from Newsarama)

So something falls from the sky…

Is it a bird?

Is it a plane?

What the HELL could it be!?!? Oh. Right. It’s on the cover. It’s Thor’s Hammer which is not only the beginning steps in his ‘Big’ return. It is also another step on the ‘Road To Civil War

This storyline is not only going to include (duh) the Fant Four, but DOOOM! who is apparently going to be resurrected soon. It is also going to be a feeding line with Illuminati and Amazing Spider-Man. They will all end up being key points in the Civil War title and hopefully the aftermath books will show the following repercussions. I could see this all being definitely problematic, with too many titles spoiling the pot for those of us who are NOT in fact zombies or the Marvel variety.

Now of an interesting point – it seems that Sue and Reed are going to disagree on the decisions of Civil War. JMS is quoted saying, “I think you’re going to see the team fracture in a very large way.”

Now Thor’s Hammer is going to fly through the air – with the greatest of ease – flying through time and space – and Hell. Thusly, Doom appears. I guess it’s as good of a reason as any, really. The Hammer will land in the middle of Oklahoma, and due to the inability for the hammer to be picked up by most others, the company it lands near builds a dome around it.

All of this sounds like it’s building to be an intensely interesting story, but it does seem like it’s going to be hard for the layman to pick up. I know zilch about Thor. Zilcho! So if you are just a Fantastic Four fan, is this going to make you feel fulfilled. I’m going to have to side with ‘yes’ given the inclusion of Dr. Doom. That makes me want, and the rest of it just has me tepid… so there you go.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


THE ILLUMINATI HAS ARRIVED
(Taken flagrantly from Newsarama)

Click on that link. You will get six pages of The Illuminati. I read it so you don’t have to.

If you don’t WANT to know… skip to the next horizontal line. Otherwise here we go:

First off – it’s pretty. The Maleev art has this classic feel that makes me squishy inside. It feels like this is not only the greatest minds of the world meeting and discussing politics. It feels like these meetings are as old as the books themselves.

Now, storywise? Everything seems quite interesting, and I’m very intrigued to hear how it’s going to go.

Except Iron Man. Maybe somebody with a little Iron Man knowledge can fill me in on this, but it just seems to me that Iron Man presents a question to the group – and most immediately shun it. Iron Man from there, does not take no for an answer. He has it set in his mind and not Charles Xavier, Reed Richards, and T’Challa can convince him otherwise. If you have those brains all going ‘bad idea dude’ – wouldn’t it seem logical to agree with them?

We’ll see.



JAMIE – STOP TALKING ABOUT CIVIL WAR!
(Yep yep yep…. Newsarama)

So not only can you go view the Civil War Trailer: RIGHT HERE.

Which is too cool. It also gives a way a bit more about where some of the threats of C.W. are going to come from – it is just plain neato!

Now that image of Iron Man on the right is a small square of the cover to Civil War #2 and if you click right here – you can see the entire Turner Alternative Cover. Featuring some unlikely support for Iron Man. The question is are they for or against him?

Either way, the more I see how involved this is getting – the more I’m ok with it.



BULLETPOINTS ARE ON THE WAY…. FIRE AT WILL
(Shameless… Isn’t It)

Announced now – Tommy Lee Edwards is going to be doing the entire JMS Limited Series: BULLETPOINTS.

This finally gives his book the artist that it seemingly is going to deserve. Tommy’s work is dramatic and really nice looking. As you can see to the right.

For those who don’t remember – Bulletpoints is an alternative history of the Marvel Universe starting with the missed creation of Captain America and the death of Ben Parker instead. From there, each person changes. Steve Rogers becomes Iron Man. Iron Man becomes Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange becomes a Watcher. The Watchers watch the Watchmen. Rorschach becomes Kotter. IT’S MADNESS!

At least now it’s madness with an artist.


THE THINGS WE’VE LEARNED FROM THE X-3 TRAILER
(Viewed at over at APPLE!)

The X-3 trailer is out and what did this editorializing reporter think?

*** BEAST

Kelsey Grammer looks right, and there is a Beast leap in there that is so close to perfect, it can only be described as perfect.

*** ANGEL

He falls through a window and spreads his wings. It’s pretty. It’s damn pretty.

Danielle, having seen it was quoted as saying, “This movie may in fact be a suckbomb, but it will be a pretty suckbomb.”

*** THE PHOENIX

Was she standing with Magneto? Oh, I think she was.

*** THE BIG BATTLE

Near the end there are mutants EVERYWHERE exploding and zapping and dropping and flying and zooming and kapowing.

Maybe the thousands of announcements about the mutants that are ‘appearing’ in this movie won’t be as bad as it seems. Maybe it’s simply that there will be a huge war and hundreds of mutants are filling the streets. That I can get behind a little bit more, especially if this is going to be the end of the mutant trilogy in the forseeable future.

*** HALLE BERRY

Seems to, in fact, have a larger role. I am still stricken completely ‘whatever’d. That’s why I gave you a picture of Magneto instead. He doesn’t approve either.

SO THAT IS THAT IS THAT IS THAT

Like I said – I took a slow news week and turned it into a megalithic discussion about Civil War, JMS, and X-Movies. I am a god. A GOD!

Next week is Marvel’s solicitations week, so expect a whole lot more goodness where this came from.

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