Professional wrestling will always be about the competition between two men inside the ring. In the storylines, the competitors in the ring might be battling over championship titles, respect, a woman, or whatever other reasons the creative department concocts. Creative can keep things simple and straightforward, or they can attempt a very complex, emotional angle leading up to the final showdown inside the squared circle.
TODAY’S ISSUE: The lack of originality and creativity in the WWE creative department.
As a fan first and foremost, I find myself disappointed with the creative direction of WWE far too often lately. It seems WWE either tries to retell a story they’ve told over and over in the past with different characters playing the same roles, or else they come up with such utter nonsense that I find myself wondering how even a 12-year-old could possibly suspend his disbelief for an entire two-hour show.
Lately, the WWE creative department seems to just take the easy way out, rather than come up with decent, reasonable storyline feuds between two men.
While I’m not exceedingly religious myself, I find it offensive and unnecessary when HHH calls himself the “King of Kings”, and likewise when JBL proclaims himself a “Wrestling God”. These are just cheap heat generators, and between the performers themselves (both known to be intelligent men) and the so-called creative department, they should be able to come up with nicknames that aren’t so religious and controversial.
The moment Road Warrior Animal began his promo last Friday night on SmackDown!, I cringed. For him to claim that the late Road Warrior Hawk, his partner for years, was the weak link in the team and an unreliable partner, well that absolutely sucks. We all know that Michael Hegstrand had his share of problems living the life of a superstar, but why run him down now that he’s been dead for several years? What could be the payoff to Animal’s diatribe? What’s to be gained by disrespecting Hawk’s memory and name?
During the same promo, when Animal claimed that Heidenreich was a bad partner and didn’t deserve to be a member of the Legion of Doom, there was a potential payoff; those two could meet for a match or series of matches, if Heidenreich was still on the roster. Since Heidenreich was released in mid-January, it really makes Animal’s comments that much more questionable. Animal called out a former partner who died years ago, and another former partner who is no longer with the company, all just to challenge Matt Hardy to a match. Does that make sense to any of you wrestling fans out there?
Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels is seemingly the 19th version of the overdone “Babyface vs. Heel Authority Figure” angle in the modern era of the business. While it’s true that most storylines are simply retellings of classic angles, it’s essential to put a new spin or a different flavor into the mix to make a storyline seem slightly original, or at least, not too stale and reheated. But this McMahon vs. Michaels feud is just so reminiscent of the recent Bischoff vs. Cena deal, and of course, McMahon vs. Austin, McMahon vs. Hogan, McMahon vs. Flair, et cetera. All we get is another big groaner.
I actually thought having Stephanie drug Shawn was kind of a neat deal, and a good way to add heat to the feud. But then, with the public urine test and “better to be pissed off than pissed on” routine from last night, all the enthusiasm they built with the previous week’s show was tossed out the window. How juvenile and immature can Vince McMahon, a 60-year-old multi-millionaire, be? It’s absurd to imagine that he still gets pleasure out of promoting stupid toilet humor and over-the-top embarrassing situations on worldwide television. What an adolescent jerk.
Considering WWE is the company that hires television writers rather than wrestling-minded contributors for the creative team, you’d think they could come up with something interesting once in a while instead of the same old ridiculous crap.
Although, I guess when they do come up with original stuff, it’s no treat either. Let’s review:
– The “Kiss Mr. McMahon’s Ass Club” was lovely
– “Dr. McMahon’s Surgery on JR’s Ass” was wonderful as well
– Candace Michelle wrestling the greatest women’s champion in history to pimp her Playboy appearance was beyond stupid (and was almost as well-conceived as Christy Hemme in a title shot against Trish Stratus at last year’s WrestleMania just in time for HER Playboy spread…)
– Mick Foley against a young man who needs to add a hardcore edge to his persona is a great idea, but it only works when it’s well developed. This Edge vs. Foley thing is so obviously slapped together that it weakens the “wow factor” of having Foley come back again
– Lest we forget, Vince’s “creative department” also conceived such gems as May Young’s “pregnancy”, Katie Vick, HLA, Billy Loves Chuck, and long ago, the Gobbledygooker. Perhaps I should be happy when they simply revisit angles from yesteryear instead of making up new stuff.
On the March 10th episode of SmackDown!, Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio wound up in the ring together during the tag team main event. Tazz immediately mentioned “There’s a lot of history here…” implying that the two had a rich feud that was about to culminate in their World Heavyweight Championship match at WrestleMania 22 in Chicago. Well guess what? There ISN’T a lot of history between these two, and that’s exactly the problem! These two never had anything between them at all until after Rey won the Royal Rumble match by eliminating Orton at the end. That’s about two months of history. If two months makes up a long feud in pro wrestling today, then it’s no wonder that all conceivable hot feuds have already been done.
A main event guy goes through 4-6 feuds a year, rather than maybe 2-3 feuds a year like it used to be. Perhaps it’s no wonder they can’t seem to come up with unique and compelling reasons for guys to want to fight each other.
Hey, it’s Mark Henry’s 99th push! Excited? Me either. Hopefully, as Inside Pulse’s own Danny Wallace predicts, this casket match against the Undertaker will prove to be the final nail in the coffin for Mark Henry’s WWE career. How many years can a man like Henry be around such talented wrestlers, both in WWE and OVW, and NEVER improve in the ring himself? That seems impossible.
What do I like about WWE, you might ask? Well, last night’s RAW did provide a few good moments. I certainly enjoyed the Intercontinental Championship match between Shelton Benjamin (sans his Mama) and RVD (who could STILL hold up under a world title push, if you ask me). It was a solid, hard-hitting match, and with Ric Flair’s involvement, it advanced the Money in the Bank match angle, while still being entertaining in it’s own right. Why can’t WWE put on more quality matches like this, and less nonsense? Lord knows they have the talent on the roster, if they’d just utilize them. Why must creative be so afraid of letting RAW and SmackDown! be pro wrestling shows? Forget that “sportz entertainment” garbage. Please.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
p.s. – What’s the opposite of “opposite”?
