The Main Event #3 (Feb. 23 / 90)
– Hogan and Savage offer their pre-match rants before the opening.
– Live from Detroit, Michigan
– Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura.
– Opening match, WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage. Savage was rumored at the time to be going over here and drop the title to Warrior at WM6, but good sense prevailed. If you’ve seen one Hogan-Savage match minus the decent wrestling, suspense, heat, and ratings, then you’ve seen this one. Hogan destroys Savage with the usual range of punches and bodyslams but Sherri’s interference allows Savage to take control. Outside referee Buster Douglas tosses Sherri as a result. We take a commercial and when we come back Savage gets a two count from a clothesline and tosses Hogan, hitting the axehandle on the floor. He tries the same thing again but Douglas gets in the way. Savage hits the slam and goes for the big elbow but of course Hogan no-sells. Gee, never seen that before. Big boot and Savage bails and they fight outside for a bit. Hebner gets bumped and Hogan hits the legdrop, and Buster Douglas comes in to count the fast three count, and to top it off Savage kicks out at two but he counts three anyway. Savage lips off Douglas and ges KO’d. This ending would be rehashed at Wrestlemania XIV. There’s about five minutes of taunting and stalling before the inevitable one-punch shot, however. I’ll call it about *1/2 I won’t even get into the farce of using the biggest fluke champion in the history of boxing as a credible boxer.
– Warrior gives an, uh, interview? I’m seriously creeped out after hearing what sounds like a drug-induced speaking-in-tongues session.
– Intercontinental title match: The Face-Painted Moron v. The (Late) French Canadian Steroid Sucking Machine. Warrior charges into the ring and hits Bravo with an axehandle off the top to start. Earthquake pulls him out, and Warrior escapes, runs under the ring, and pulls Jimmy Hart in with him. When Hart emerges, his pants are missing. Um, yeah. Bravo gets the advantage as they proceed to do the same choreographed match that they’d done 5601 times before this. BEARHUG OF DOOM! by Bravo. Vince: “Warrior breathes a different air than any man I’ve ever known.” Can’t argue with that one. Warrior hulks up (it occurs to me that Val Venis making the big comeback would involve a completely different form of self-energizing…) and Warrior hits the THREE CLOTHESLINES OF DEATH! followed by the SHITTY SHOULDERBLOCK OF DOOM! and the SPLASH THAT DOESN’T QUITE MAKE CONTACT BUT PEOPLE STILL HAVE TO LIE DOWN FOR OF DOOM! for the easy pin. 1/4* Bravo and Quake beat up Warrior and Hogan makes the save, but of course Warrior doesn’t appreciate the help. They do the big staredown as we cut to commercial.
– Vince McMahon takes us back to the Royal Rumble as Hogan & Warrior do the CRISS-CROSS OF DOOM! Then we go back to the SNME I just reviewed as they fend of Genius and Perfect but disagree afterwards.
– Hulk Hogan interview. The Warrior is apparently the strongest force ever to attack Hulkamania. I thought it was male-pattern baldness, but what do I know?
– Warrior gives a PCP-enhanced ranting interview about walls filled with fear and children riding on Warrior’s back for protection. This guy is a f*cking maniac.
– Buster Douglas gives his closing comments. They might as well have had a big neon sign across the screen saying “Buy Wrestlemania” for the whole show.
