Opening Contest: Vito with Nunzio verses Tatanka
Vito is wearing a terrible brown suit to the ring today. Absolutely tasteless and someone needs to get some anally retentive fashion police on him, stat. Headlock into ropes stuff starts before Tatanka gets a hiptoss, a scoop slam, before laying some chops into Tatanka before following up with a dropkick. In the corners Tatanka nails some chops and kicks. Vito punches Tatanka down after a distraction by Nunzio, following up with some stomps. Tatanka up and clotheslined back down by Vito. Suplex by Vito, who then goes up top and nails a diving elbow. Nice. Cover gets Vito a two. Tatanka mounts a comeback with fists to Vito’s face, but Vito gets a shoulder shot followed by a scoop slam and second rope splash for a two. Hiptoss by Vito, who then locks in the Rear Choke Hold. Tatanka fan favorites out of it, but Vito takes him back down using the hair. Leg drop failed by Vito, and Tatanka nails a Scoop Slam. Tatanka poses for a second, runs off the ropes into a leg drop. Elbow smash by Tatanka, followed by a chop and shoulder toss. ‘Tomahawk Chop’ by Tatanka for a two. Tatanka goes up top and jumps off but Vito kicks him in the gut! Vito goes for a scoop slam, Tatanka falls down behind him and rams him into Nunzio, and Vito turns around into the Trail’s End for the victory.
Winner: Tatanka
Surprisingly good, considering. My thoughts remain true: Tatanka can have a watchable match against an opponent who is given some WWE TV Time. 4 out of 10.
Still to come: Kid Kash verses Brian Kendrick verses Paul London verses JAMIE BY GAWD NOBLE for the Cruiser Weight Number One Contendership. Yay!
Commercials.
Recap of Finlay verses Lashley.
Commercials. Hey, sweat, we get Saturday Night’s Main Event . . on Monday. Oh well, better than nothing.
Second Contest: The Gymini with Simon Dean verses The Mexicools
Note: we’re about 20 minutes into this episode as if the Mexicool’s entrance. Psicosis and tonight’s Gymini 1 start it off. Generic headlock opening gives G1 the advantage. Psicosis nails a Headscissors and follows up by working on G1’s arm. Tag out to Super Crazy, who nails a double axe handle to G1’s arm. Crazy with headbutts to the shoulder. G2 trips Crazy over and throws him to the mats outside. G1 gets a cover for a two count. Tag out to G2. G2 knocks Crazy down a few times and throws him outside, badly. G1 attacks Crazy from behind before pushing him back into the ring. Double Arm Underhook Suplex by G2 for a two. G2 nails Crazy with a hiptoss into suplex for a two. Nice. Tag out to G1. G1 with a bear hug from behind, which turns into a bear hug from the front. Crazy attacks the ears but G1 slams him down for a two. G1 misses the elbow drop and tags out to G2, who drags Crazy away from a tag out. Crazy reverses a Powerbomb with a NICE Tornado DDT on G2. Crazy tags out to Psicosis and G2 tags out to G1. Dropkicks to G1 followed by a spinning heel kick by Psicosis. Clothesline in the corner, before Psicosis goes up top with G1 and nails a Top Rope Hurricanana. Spinning heel kick on G2. Russian Leg Sweep by Psicosis before he goes up top and nails a leg drop, as Crazy begins fighting with G2! The referee is trying to seperate them, and only gets a two count after having been distracted. Mexicools double team G2, but the Gymini attack Psicosis. The Gymini throw Psicosis up into the air and let him slam into the mat, Dean holds Crazy’s foot, as the Gymini get the pinfall.
Winners: The Gymini
I liked this match. 7 out of 10.
Commercials.
Recap of Chris Benoit verses orlando Jordan.
Recap of Orton, Mysterio, and Angle verses MNM and Henry
Commercials.
Main Event: Number One Contendership for the Cruiser Weight Championship: JAMIE BY GAWD NOBLE verses Brian Kendrick verses Kid Kash verses Paul London
I’d rather they had made this a Six Pack and put the Mexicools in here. No reason, I just would have preferred it. Kendrick is the only man in this match not to hold the title so far, so let’s go Kendrick! Kash attacks Noble from behind to start, which London and Kendrick reply to by attacking Kash. London gets Kash and Kendrick gets Noble. Noble chops Kendrick down, punches London away, and kicks away on kash in the corner. Kendrick and London nail Kash and Noble with the Duex Kick, followed by a Double Team dropkick on Noble. It’s just Kendrick and London in the ring now. Lock up and Kendrick gets a headlock followed into the usual, which is finished when Kash drags Kendrick out of the ring and Noble clotheslines London down. Noble nails London with a scoop slam followed by a leg drop for a one count. Kash nails a sunset flip on Noble for a one count. Kash with a trip and kick to the back for a two count. Noble goes for the Dragon Sleeper on Kash, but London takes Noble off with a Sleeper Hold. Noble gets to the ropes, but London drags him down and wraps the legs around him. Kendrick jumps off the top rope with a stomp onto Nunzio and London. Kendrick with a nice elbow onto Kash in the corner, followed by a nice snap suplex onto Kash for a two. Kash gets some kicks into Kendrick and follows up with a nice Suplex, pin attempt broken by London. Noble throws Kendrick gut first into the steel pole while London scoop slams Kash. Knee drop onto London and the pin attempt is broken by Noble. Noble locks up behind Kash as London comes up with a kick to Kash, which is caught, London nails an enziguri kick which hits Noble. Nice.
Commercials.
We return to see London attacking Kash, but Kash picks London up in a back body drop but drops him face first into the mat. Kick to London’s chest, Kash goes for another but London nails a clothesline for two. Kash goes up top, which is stopped by Kendrick, who goes up top as well! London on top as well! Noble comes up from behind London! Kash nails Kendrick with a Super Super Super Super Suplex (it was really super) while on top of London’s shoulders who is gving Kash an Eletric Chair Drop, who got Powerbombed by Noble! The crowd is going effin wild. We, thankfully get a replay of it. Noble covers Kash but only gets a two. Noble covers London but only gets another two. Noble stomps away on Kash and Londo. London is in the tree of woe, but Kash attacks Noble from behind. Kash and Noble are chopping each other, Noble nails an elbow, but Kendrick comes up from behind and nails Kash with elbows! Kendrick sets Kash up for Sliced Bread Number 2 but gets caught by Noble who nails the Gutbuster. Dropsault to Kash by London, Small Package on Kendrick by London for the victory!
Winner And Number One Contender: Paul London
Post match, Paul London has a bloodied lip, while Kendrick congratulates London. London celebrates as Velocity fades out. 10 out of 10. Period. Watch this match, people.
So for Velocity this week . . .
Vito verses Tatanka: 4/10
Gymini verses Mexicools: 7/10
Kendrick verses Kash verses Noble verses London: 10/10
Velocity 18 / 3 / 06: 21 /30
. . . Velocity was better than SmackDown. Period. Until next week, Ciao Y’all.
