Certain words and phrases have popped into my head as I’ve recalled this week’s episode of The Apprentice. The eminently overused “step up to the plate” made several appearances this week, as did Lenny’s colorful commentary on everything from Theresa’s massive mammaries to Dan and Lee’s religious devotion. This outspoken group has taken a cue from Mr. Trump himself in labeling situations and behaviors, although their own biases color the accuracy of the terminology. Without further ado, here are the words of the week and their definitions:
Classy
1. Gold Rush’s goal
I’m not exactly sure how a horse and carriage, balloon arch, rotating stage, open bar, comedian, and putting course equal classy, but somehow Theresa and crew fooled themselves into thinking that the combination of these elements would ensure a sophisticated experience. Not. In my experience, anyone who actually uses the word classy usually isn’t.
2. Sean
Good god, he’s hot. He should be the next James Bond.
Dropping the ball
1. Bryce’s assessment of Lenny
It’s accurate, sure. Lenny should have taken care of the generator problem. However, Bryce needs to stop yelling. He is under the delusion that he can rationalize with Lenny, when it’s obvious that that’s impossible.
2. Lenny’s assessment of everyone
Dude, you are not doing all the work. Get over yourself.
Huge
1. Theresa’s breasts
Um, how does she keep her balance? And the real question on everyone’s minds: are they real? In any case, it doesn’t matter much anymore, since the show’s only psychotherapist candidate was shoved into a taxi this week. It’s a shame, really. I had such high hopes for her.
2. Charmaine’s errors on the task
Ultimately, project manager Theresa screwed up this task, but Charmaine was a big help in propelling Gold Rush to failure. She gave Bryce 20 minutes to educate a group of models on the features of the new Chevy Tahoe and hired a stand-up comedienne who talked about morning wood. She would have been fired if Theresa had been smart enough to drag her into the final boardroom.
Plan B
1. Trump’s lesson of the week
The Donald’s weekly pearls of wisdom never fail to crack me up. He is always shown as this rational businessman who knows exactly how to handle every situation with grace and tact. Yeah, right. The way that this show perpetuates the myth of Trump as this business god is endlessly amusing.
2. Golf cart racing
Andrea is brilliant. She planned a kick-ass event wrapped around a great theme (“Nature Refined”) and brought in all kinds of cool outdoorsy activities for the Chevy employees to enjoy, such as a fly fishing and skeet shooting. However, when one of the park officials informed her that the latter would not be allowed, she cleverly threw together a new event and it was a huge hit.
Step up to the plate
1. Brent’s promise
When the candidates walked into the party room at Trump World Tower to hear about the details of their next task, the Donald singled Brent out as the biggest disaster of everyone standing there. Brent managed to get a word in edgewise and informed El Trumpo that he was could “step up to the plate.”
2. Brent’s actions
Step up to the plate he did, although Brent’s plate was full of food. Now, it’s no secret that Brent is a big guy and I have to wonder what he looked like before he went on that diet he claimed to have invented in the first episode. However, I have to wonder if the editors were being particularly cruel in showing him stuffing his face. Certainly his teammates were eating during the task, too, but there were no shots of them doing so. The editors have chosen to portray Brent as a lazy slob with no self-control. I doubt he’s as grotesque as the show is making him out to be. Furthermore, it’s not necessary. Brent is already the group pariah and acts like a goofball much of the time.
Stupid
1. Lenny’s reaction to Dan and Lee’s observance of Rosh Hashanah
Normally, I find Lenny’s forthrightness refreshing and funny, but he was treading on very dangerous ground this week. I’m not saying he doesn’t have a right to his opinion, but in order to maintain group harmony and not come off as a total jackass, he would have been wise to keep his mouth shut as his two teammates went off to temple.
2. Swimming with the sharks
What kind of lame-ass reward was that for Synergy’s victory? Sure, it was kind of funny to see how scared Brent was to get into the cage and watch the sharks, but the whole parallel that Trump was trying to draw between the experience of swimming with actual sharks and dealing with scary people in business was asinine. There is no cage separating the candidates from Trump in the boardroom. I’d rather swim with the sharks any day.
