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You know what’s disturbing? Running a Google image search on “Supergirl”. I had to do it a few days ago for a top story pic and”¦well”¦just try it yourself. I had no idea so many women had so much blue paint and so much time on their hands.

You know what else is disturbing? The lack of stories this week. As in basically zero of them. Ah, well, we go to war..err”¦column with the stories we have, not the stories we want. Thus, it’s NEWS TIME!

Ennis is Just One of the “Boys”

If you always thought that writer Garth Ennis had a healthy, albeit semi-serious disdain for super heroes, his and (newly DC exclusive) artist Darick Robertson’s new project coming from Wildstorm isn’t about to change your mind.

In The Boys, a new ongoing series launching in October, Ennis and Robertson breathe life into the five people you absolutely do not want to know if you’ve ever considered yourself a hero.

It’s bros before hoes (I can’t believe I just wrote that) all the way at Newsarama

Ooo, this sounds like a generous bit of dark hearted goodness. I’m sold for the first few issuses. Provided Ennis can keep his bad over-the-top nature under control (Preacher= good over-the-top, Punisher regular series (pre MAX)= bad over-the-top) I’m in for even more than that.

DC has a nice pick up here, too, with Darrick Robertson coming aboard for the book and an exclusive contract. Just take a look at those sketches”¦the man has talent, no?

Out Preacher-Preacher? It’s a bold goal, but what the hell, right? Might as well swing for the fences.

MISC.

Sell Outs/New Printings

The first two chapters of the futuristic BATMAN: YEAR ONE HUNDRED miniseries, written and illustrated by Paul Pope, have sold out at DC Comics and are going back to press for new printings!

In the future Pope will be King. So says, Newsarama

TIM’S TIRADES

Was Superboy and Wonder Girl’s Decision a Mistake?

This is going to be a quick tirade because, honestly, I do not think it is all that complicated.

First, was it a mistake for them? Possibly. Probably. Time will tell. But is that not the nature of teenage love? Falling too quickly and too thoroughly and making some questionable choices in light of that? That’s how I remember it, anyway.

But the real question here, the one I have seen other online comic pundits tackle is, was it wrong for the writers, editors, plotters, whomever to allow them to make the decision to make (have sex, be intimate, etc. You can choose your own euphemism if you like). In other words, was it okay for them to have sex?

Yes. Yes, it obviously was.

To begin with, it is not like the scene was depicted like a direct-to-vide erotic thriller (oh, Sliver what have you wrought). Hell, if it was not for the issue of Teen Titans where Superboy confirms the physical coupling, they could have spent the night just doing some good old-fashioned America topless making out. The inference was all yours and there was nothing depicted that could not have been gotten away with a network primetime hour show.

Second, it is not all that far fetched. Wonder Girl and Superboy are, roughly, between 15 and 17 years old, right? The median age a person in America loses (gets rid of?) their virginity is 16.5. Thus, they are not far from (or perhaps right on) the average. Additionally, some factors that influence when an individual does have sex for the first time include parental supervision (as in, in general, not during the act, you sicko). The two teen heroes have been spending most weekends at the Titans Tower on their own (Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast Boy hardly seem concerned about policing the activities of the Titans that are unrelated to acts of heroism so it’s safe to assume they didn’t have mandatory lights out rules, boys and girls only areas, etc) and, from the looks of Wonder Girl’s home environment, Mom’s not home a lot. Plus, they spend nearly everyday fighting evil. Certainly some maturity (or beliefs in their own maturity anyway) would come along with that. So, their decision is hardly unusual or bizarre

Third, and finally, it’s not weird or creepy or eww. Think about when you were in your teens and had a significant other. Did you not fool around with them? Not necessarily have sex mind you, but kiss, touch, hold, etc? Is it so far fetched then that teen superheroes would do the same with their significant others. Just because they carried it beyond that (as often teens in real life do) does not mean the writers, plotters, editors, etc. are out of their minds. It’s a perfectly logical (insofar as these things go) string of events.

The only thing that was bad about it? That “this could be the end of the world” nonsense. What a cliché line. Wonder Girl, Superboy, you both can do better than that.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #3

Easily the best Superman comic out right now (although the OYL issue was pretty good). You know how I know? It has me actually anticipating a Superman book. The last time that happened was”¦Superman Forever. But that was a colossal disappointment.

Not so with this book. Quitely’s art is worth the wait (plus, they never promised us a monthly book) as he subtly, but distinctly portrays shifts in emotions and the “difference” between Superman and Clark Kent. Morrison is, of course, going full steam ahead with enough crazy ideas for three titles. Sure, many of them are discarded too quickly, but usually I’m having too much of a good time to mind it.

If future All-Star titles skew closer to this book’s sensibilities (and thus, away from All-Star Batman and Robin) the line’s going to be great.

OPINIONS ON THE WORK OF PEOPLE FAR MORE TALENTED THAN I

BATMAN #651

My goodness, Poison Ivy turns out to be a bit of chump, doesn’t she? As Gordon puts it, “That was easy.” I’d add in “too easy” if I were him. This is too bad, because otherwise, the Robin v. giant plants and Batman acting as bait sequences were good and the first occurrence I can recall in a long time of Batman and Robin actually being Batman and Robin, partners.

The logic of the whole thing is flawed, too. Is Batman really going to let Ivy’s plants grow wild over the penthouse of this building? Unlikely. So, she surrenders and her plants die anyway (probably). Well, maybe she just got caught up in the moment.

I’m being a bit harder and a bit more flip about this issue than I actually feel though. There was much I liked. The beginning sequence, most likely foreshadowing people that Batman will run into during this 8 issue arc, was nice setup, the people’s reaction to the exploding Batwing felt authentic, and, as I already said, I liked most of the Poison Ivy stuff except its outcome. It is just that, in place of a climatic return and victory for Batman and Robin, we get an underwhelming one page resolution, and that leaves a taste in my mouth that the rest of the issue has a hard time overcoming.

This one earns its grade on characterization and Robinson nailing the feel of Gotham. If it was all about action, I’m not sure I could be so kind.

MANHUNTER #20

This, much like Birds of Prey, establishes a OYL continuity that is not all that different from where we left it. However, it goes down a lot smoother to me than BoP’s disappointing first post-OYL issue.

Part of the reason is that these changes feel lived in and ongoing. The changes in BoP felt like they had just happened despite it being OYL and they were merely roadblocks back to the status quo. One of my fears of OYL before it hit was that all the titles were going to start in “bold new directions” with the point being to return to “same old, same old.” BoP reflected that fear. Manhunter avoids it with changes that feel organic and capable of being held long term.

The only specific criticism I have to offer concerns the art. I’m not sure if the designation of “Layouts” and “Finishes” (as opposed to “Penciller” and “Inker”) really belies a change in roles for Pina and Blanco, but I would not be surprised. The faces in this issue often seem a bit fuzzier than usual, not as crisp in their detail.

Otherwise, a strong setup for Manhunte’s post-OYL run. May it last awhile and may Dylan Battles remain an improbable ladies man.

ROBIN #148

Alright, DC, you win. I’ll buy Robin again.

I’ve always had an affection for the Tim Drake Robin. When he started, he was roughly the same age as me, he had the same first name (silly yes, but I’d be lying if I pretended that it had nothing to do with my liking of him) and he was a capable hero in his own right. I enjoyed his title for a few years until Chuck Dixon lost the rudder and spent about a year trying to get it back, ultimately failing. The two subsequent writers both failed to turn the title around in their own unique ways and I figured that Robin would be quietly cancelled some day and I would read about it, shrug and think, “Huh”¦I remember when I liked that book.” But I picked up this issue anyway. Hope springs eternal I suppose. As it turns out, this time that hope was not misplaced.

Robin is well written, Batman is well written, there is an interesting mystery, and Tim’s back to showing us how he became Robin in the first place, his brain. All in all, a good bag of accomplishments for a first issue.

Beechen nicely pushes the book forward (Robin has his own digs, is confident enough in his talents to tell Batman to stop down and Batman respects him enough to do so) and remembers the past (the inclusion of Lynx, references to Cain, Cassandra, and the first Tim Drake story).

Kerschl’s work is, overall, strong. There are a few pages at the end where he seems to have lost total control of his pencil (check out the briefing office’s face) or someone else is doing an uncredited fill-in. I did think Robin looked a bit young, (especially in comparison to his appearance in the Titans annual), but I suppose he is supposed to be about 15 years old still so”¦

SHOOTING BACK AT THE GRIMACE

First up we have my kind-hearted Who’s Who collaborator, who set my mind at ease

Dude in question [The villain in yellow and red from the Brave and Bold cover] is none other than Doctor Double X. Perchance I’ll cover him in a future column.

And I’ve got that Scalphunter issue.

And way to depress me about Hard Time. Right before I go to bed too.

-Mathan Erhardt

Sorry, Mathan, I hate to do that to you. But it was the truth, Hard Time is cancelled. We can only grow stronger from finding and accepting the truth. It’ll be hard for awhile, but it will get better.

Thanks for the info though. I look forward to editing that future column.

I remember that Brave and the Bold with Batman and Wonder Woman cower before someone scary. It was a guy who had some gas that made them relive their worst memories. Wonder Woman saw Steve Trevor get shot, while Batman saw his parents get shot. There was even a bit where Batman thought that Wonder Woman was Joe Chill and started whaling on her. She let them fall over the side of a building and gambled that this would make Batman’s training take over to save their lives. It worked. I don’t remember how they beat him, but they did. Hooray. This was one of the earliest comics that I remember owning. I wonder what happened to it.

-Charles Hargrove

Neat. Glad to hear that the villain was not something like the TEDDY BEAR OF THE DAMNED!!! or something to that effect (although”¦). I hope you are soon reconnected with that missing book.

Coming to us from the message board”¦

I always love the news you give us but I do have a question. What about news about Wildstorm or Vertigo? They technically are DC and I saw some cool stuff from WWLA (mostly the Ennis stuff like Midnighter and his new series I posted in the other forum). So where does this fall…news wise? Love the column as always and please don’t bash me like I get over in the Who’s Who thread.

-soak1313

Me, bash you? Hmm”¦I think you may have me confused with someone else, Soak. Anyway, to address your question, I would have liked to have put stuff in about Vertigo or Wildstorm, but unfortunately there just was not much out there. Even a week later (that being now) I literally have not found a single Vertigo at WizLA story. Wildstorm did get an article but it just mentioned that Ennis had a new book and its title. With no information beyond that, I had nothing to say. Thankfully, I was able to rectify that problem this week with a fuller Newsarama article about The Boys as you no doubt read above. It would be hard to miss as it is the only piece of real news stuff this week.

Hope that satisfied some of your craving.

And I hope all of you were satisfied with this week too, despite the rather paltry offerings. Next week will be better, I promise. Things will change. Please believe me, baby. I can change, you can change, the news can change!!!!!!!! For now though, please drop me a line at parallax2@juno.com or hit the message board. See you next week.

Un Gajje will Always Change, Just to Try and Please You.