See I was going to do the big “Wrestlemania Feels Like Thunder” column this week, but Blatt basically did the same thing. With that in mind, I’d like to elaborate on my Wrestlemania feelings.
– Wrestlemania is that one time a year when ANY wrestling fan gets a little jump in their step and some excitement in their bellies. It’s WRESTLEMANIA time. ROH has learned to take advantage of this time year in and year out. TNA hasn’t, because they only know how to do one or two house shows per year, let alone two in the same weekend…BEGATS!
– Wrestlemania is not supposed to feel like Thunder. By that I mean it is not supposed to feel like it’s that show you see every week and know it’s going to be bad with some sprinkling of “almost enjoyable”.
– Wrestlemania is not supposed to be a promo for Playboy. When Hogan slammed Andre and the largest group of wrestling fans ever got together to watch it, nobody was in the crowd saying “SHOW YOUR TITS!”
– Wrestlemania is supposed to be about watching Shawn Michaels bump like a madman and create 5 star matches with opponents that are almost equal.
– Wrestlemania is not supposed to be about wondering if Shawn Michaels can carry a 60-year-old man to a respectable match.
– Wrestlemania is supposed to be about celebrating the past and present and looking toward the future.
– Wrestlemania is not supposed to be about wondering if Bret Hart will be a little girl and say “OH OH SHAAAAWN!” and leave his induction, the last moment he’ll have to share with the fans. (By the way, everyone says it’s a work. Tell me this: Would Bret Hart really attack Shawn and make himself a heel again?)
– Wrestlemania is about climbing the ladder, literally if necessary.
– Wrestlemania is not about wondering if Ric Flair will finally have that heart attack in the middle of the ring and die, probably after falling off the aforementioned ladder,
– Wrestlemania is about fast, hard-hitting action.
– Wrestlemania is not about watching a part-timer and a dead weight contract holder try to throw each other in a casket.
– Wrestlemania is where tag-teams shine.
– Wrestlemania is not about looking at the Raw tag-team match and going “Wait what?”
– Wrestlemania sets the bar.
– Wrestlemania should not make you want to shove a bar through your skull, lest you be served the same pain from the McMahons.
– Wrestlemania ends the long running storylines, giving a sense of closure.
– Wrestlemania does not deserve a 2-week storyline to end.
– Wrestlemania starts the new year.
– Wrestlemania should not fail.
– Wrestlemania is unpredictable.
– Triple H, Randy Orton, Mickie James, Carlito and Masters, Chris Benoit, Candance, Undertaker, Edge, Shawn Michaels, RVD…predictable.
In the end my friends, it’s Wrestlemania time again, but it’s more likely that most of us will get struck by lightning than this being more than a glorified Thunder.
Adios! (Steal it again Wallace…I dare you)
