The RAW Events
— As regarding to the Final Four, who would have thought that we would have UCLA, Florida, LSU, and freakin’ George Mason!?!?!? And if you said who’s George Mason!? Don’t worry, so did everyone else in the nation. But good for them, this just shows how exciting the NCAA tourney can really be. And if your school isn’t one of the four mentioned above, and if you aren’t rooting for the Mason underdog, then shame on you! Hell, just do it to piss off the powers that be in the NCAA and that CBS Packer guy. Oh and by the way WM is just around the corner this weekend, how did that sneak up on me? Oh yeah… Raw.
Omaha, NE.
Hosts: Joey Styles, King and The Coach
The MAIN Events
– Kane vs. Carlito
Carlito gets the jump start on the match, putting down Kane for a while. But the monster stands up quickly, standing up to the hits. Carlito puts a strangle hold on Kane for a bit, but big boot takes him down. Kane gets on the offensive as he goes up top and hits the clothesline. DDT is executed for Carlito that gets two! But falls into the chokeslam as Carlito gets himself DQ. Kane chases Carlito backstage as Kane gets jumped by Masters, Murdock and Cade, locking him up inside a room. Big Show makes the save, as he tries to move the forklift that blocks the door.
Winner: Kane (2)
– HHH vs. Shawn Michaels
Both men slug it out at the very get go (and funny how this is only the second match already in the first hour of the show) going back and forth. The fight spills outside and onto the announcers booth with HBK taking the advantage. Continues into the crowd as Shawn backflips HHH back inside the barricades and into the ring. HHH gets the momentum back for a while, setting up the pedigree to close to the ropes as another backflip sends HHH outside over the ropes. Vince walks out, giving HHH the jump on once more. Shawn finds a way back, getting he kick up and sending HHH into Vince off the apron. HBK gets the elbow from the top rope and the band tunes up, but Vince interferes allowing HHH to nail the pedigree. But instead of going for the pin, HHH calls in Vince as HHH gets the sledgehammer UNTIL Cena makes the save. HHH drops the hammer and he slugs it out with Cena until he’s knocked out of the ring.
Winner: No Contest!? (1)
– The Spirit Squad vs. Viscera, Val Venis, and Eugene
Can anyone say cluster F**K!? Well SS has their names on their shirts now to make things easier for us all, and well yeah… this match is so pointless in so many ways, and I just realized at this second I lost my internet feed until tomorrow morning. I’m going over to “24” now. Oh, um, I don’t know… some trampoline helps SS win the match somehow.
Winner: The Spirit Squad (4)
– Torrie Wilson & Trish Stratus vs. Candace Michelle & Victoria
Important to know about this match… Victoria and Candace exchange a kiss before the bell rings. Yes, this is why you read this column, to get this kind of important news on a weekly basis. Which leads to some stuff happening and Trish hits her usual three moves to win.
Winner: Torrie Wilson & Trish Stratus (3)
– John Cena vs. Vince McMahon
HHH and HBK are handcuffed to the ring to start the match. And throughout the entire match is nothing but hand holds and so forth, making the champ look like a punk when he is actually overpowered by Vince every now and then. To make things easy, Vince low blows Cena, frees HHH and HHH does the beatdown on Cena with the hammer as Vince takes the chair to a handcuffed Shawn to end the show.
Winner: DQ, John Cena (5)
Quick HEAT
— Vince opens the show mentioning how the Chairman will be wrestling the Champ, and that HBK will be taking on HHH (who is now being dubbed as the “King of Kings,” I really don’t like that name…) Oh and highway to hell continues… ok.
— Another segment to follow up the first one as Mick Foley comes out and calls out Lita and Edge, holding a bouquet of flowers and a present. Edge says that Foley’s career has now turned into an ATM career, as he keeps on coming back to withdraw some cash. But its not about the money, it’s about hurting Edge in a defining WM moment. Edge opens up the box that has a bat inside as Edge hits the ring, but Foley has his own bat, wrapped in barbwire, chasing Edge out into the crowd. Cue Cactus Jack music, showing Foley rocking in the corner. Yup, he snapped.
—. Show shows how dumb he could be as he still tries to move the forklift on his own, but Kane walks around the corner as he tells Show there was another door left open. Even Show says that he was stupid for pushing the lift. HAHA.
— Masters is STILL talking how no one can or has broken out of his shitty hold. And cue Kane and Big Show. Thankfully Show is too big to lock in the lock, but Masters complains that Show is greased up. Ok, this is testing my patience. Check yourself in the mirror steroid boy. Masters gives up and fights… blah, blah, blah, Show chokeslams Masters, thank goodness.
— WWE Hall of Fame Inductee: Tony Atlas
— During the break, Vince announces the Cena will have HBK in his corner, while Vince will have HHH
— Flair makes his way down, talking how he lost the WWE title at WrestleMania 8. which was suppose to be his last world title run. Sure! And now he gets his chance to get Money in the Bank, getting the now fly pimp looking Shelton Benjamin out. Hmmm, mirroring The Rock here maybe!? Benjamin and Flair go at each other, putting Shelton to set up the ladder as he climbs up top until RVD makes the save and uses the ladder on SB with the rolling thunder. RVD calls that the MITB belongs to him until Flair pokes the eye setting things up.
— WWE Hall of Fame Inductee: William “The Refrigerator” Perry
— Mickey James continues her Trish Stratus obsession with a room filled of her pics surrounded by candles. Trish sees this backstage with Torrie.
RAW Analysis
— WrestleMania 22 Card list & predictions: (winners in bold)
– WWE Title (Raw): HHH vs. John Cena (C)- Cena
– Casket Match (SD): Mark Henry vs. The Undertaker- Undertaker
– Playboy Pillow Fight (Raw): Torrie Wilson vs. Candace Michelle- Torrie Wilson
– Money in the Bank Ladder Match (Raw/SD): RVD vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Lashley- RVD
– United States Title (SD): JBL vs. Chris Benoit (C)- Chris Benoit
– Women’s Title (Raw): Mickey James vs. Trish Stratus (C)- Mickey James
– Hardcore Match (Raw): Mick Foley vs. Edge- Edge
– World Tag Team Titles (Raw): Carlito & Masters vs. Kane & Big Show (C)- Kane & Big Show
– Handicap Match (SD): Booker T & Sharmell vs. The Boogeyman- Boogeyman
– World Heavyweight Title (SD): Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle (C)- Randy Orton
– No Holds Barred (Raw): Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels- HBK
— Again, I’m just not impressed by this week’s Raw. I don’t know. Especially being the Raw before WM, this isn’t a very good sign. Buildups to make you watch WM were sub par at best. It’s like they weren’t even trying. We don’t get ANY action from either two guys who are suppose to steal the show this weekend in Edge and Foley except for miss baseball bat swings. At least have Edge in a match! MITB barely got a blimp tonight with one segment, hell, the tag titles got more than one segment which isn’t good. The women’s matches, well… they’re the women’s matches. Then the WWE title, we get two full videos of HHH and Cena working out in a gym, um… ok!? And yes, we know already HHH is bad with the sledgehammer, we know it’ll probably come out at WM too! Why don’t we just rename this PPV, HHH/Sledgehammer Mania!? Vince and Michaels, well we get the CEO making his match the spotlight of WM instead of putting over the young wrestlers that should be carrying this show. Might as well have Austin/ Hogan in there. Then to top it all off, yeah, I was changing channels during Raw to watch something else. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m excited for WM, I always do and I like the card (somewhat). But Raw just didn’t put the show over the hump like it’s suppose to, and we’re suppose to pay a good portion of our paychecks to watch 4 hours of this!? Again, I really hope WM goes over well this weekend and blows the roof off the house, so that we can talk about the show for the next month or so. But again, I dunno… I just hope Smackdown has better luck this Friday. Till the WrestleMania EVENT, I’m out, drop me a line on what you think. Peace.
