– Hey gang, I’m back from Chicago, and have been for nearly a week now, I’m just too lazy to update my blog or anything like that. WrestleMania was fun. I’ll have plenty more, in-detail thoughts on that later however. In short, for a first Mania, I was very pleased. Of course I’ll probably think differently when I watch it in TV format soon, but oh well. Oh yeah, onto this…
The NeelDown: No Mercy 2005
– From Houston Texas
– Hosts are Tazz & Michael Cole
MNM v. Legion of Doom 2k2 & Christy Hemme
Nothing like getting the juices flowing with a little Animal and Heidenreich. Of course, it was just as bad when it opened with them winning the titles at Great American Bash. LOD takes turns getting some usual stuff on Nitro until Animal misses a charge on the bad shoulder, indicating how this match is going to go. Early Snapshot on Animal gets two. Mercury works the shoulder over. Funny fact, Christy might actually be the best wrestler on her team. Mercury gets caught off the top and dumped. Melina gets caught off the top and Christy winds up getting the Doomsday Device. Oh, I’m sure Hawk is just rolling in his grave. 1/2*
Winner: LOD 2k2 & Christy Hemme
– Dave and Eddie wish each other goodluck meanwhile.
Simon Dean v. Bobby Lashley
Dean says if he loses he’ll eat 20 double cheeseburgers. Ooh, that is SO against his ethic. This is Lashley’s debut PPV match, and he takes care of things easily after a cheeseburger tray shot doesn’t phase him and he gets the Dominator to finish things quickly. Save it for Heat. -*
Winner: Bobby Lashley
– JBL assures as that the “B team” from RAW will not invade, and then Jillian gets offered one of Rey’s plastic masks. Ooh, hilarious.
Chris Benoit v. Booker T v. Christian v. Orlando Jordan – US Title Championship
Christian and Jordan double team Booker to start but get knocked down. Things settle in with OJ and Booker but Christian pulls Booker out and sends him into the steps. Christian breaks up an early Crossface attempt but then Benoit releases a true Texas TOOTHLESS AGGRESSION. Jordan prevents a Sharpshooter attempt, meanwhile Booker missile dropkicks Christian. Heels get dumped and we’re left with these two, who WWE would NEVER have face each other one on one later in the year. OJ comes back in and takes control of Booker with a special dose of ORLANDO SHUFFLE! Booker and Jordan collide as the other two do battle on the top, where Booker gets sent into the corner and knocks them both off. Booker spinebusters Jordan, Christian is back to break the pin. Scissor Kick on Jordan but Christian attacks. Benoit fights off the Unprettier twice and gets the rolling Germans interrupted by OJ, so Benoit tosses him out onto Booker, then gets the Germans on Christian. Swan dive misses but he gets the Crossface anyway, which gets broken up. Benoit blocks a THIRD Unprettier and locks in the Sharpshooter, which Christian is quick to tap to. Nice to see their appreciation for Christian after bumping him over to the show where he is actually supposed to get something. Good stuff from everyone here. ***1/4
Winner: Chris Benoit
Mr. Kennedey v. Hardcore Holly
Odd choice of a match, probably some WWE.com booking or something, but interestingly enough this was when Kennedey was way over as a heel. After seeing Kennedey’s introduction live in November, nothing is comparable. Holly jumps him to start and gets the LETHAL DROPKICK. Oh man Bob, the deadly dropkick already?! Bob is on a RAMPAGE! Kennedey dumps him and works an armbar but gets clotheslined down and then Holly gets a single-arm DDT, pronounced as a “flying armbar” by Tazz. Listen, announcers anonymous, it is a DDT performed with one arm, or an armbar takedown. Not too hard of a concept, coincidentally. Holly rallies back and gets a couple of close falls. Holly tries climbing but gets caught in Kennedey’s jumping Samoan Drop finisher, and that’ll do it. Slow match the crowd was dead for. ** Sylvan comes out and beats Holly down afterwards, for fashion reasons, you know.
Winner: Mr. Kennedey
– Kennedey interrupts Booker and Sharmell’s argument to announce that he won. Sue me, I like the guy.
JBL v. Rey Mysterio – We Have Nothing Better To Do With Either Guy Match
Tazz nearly loses control of his laughter when expressing that he saw Jillian’s cheek attachment breathing, and how it is an “appliance.” Mysterio pounds away but falls victim to a headlock takedown. Rey dodges an elbow and has JBL chase him and in and out, such a tired big versus small man trick. JBL goes back in control and gets the swinging neckbreaker. Mysterio comes back with a bulldog for two, then works on a leg. JBL thumbs the eye, which heel tactic watchdog Cole is quick to jump one. “See! That’s what JBL does! He gets in trouble and then just throws all the rules out!” Tazz of course has to politely counterattack with “well Cole sometimes you do whatever it takes to win.” They REALLY need to get rid of that Cole heel running gag. Anyway, Mysterio gets a bulldog off the apron, but JBL drops him onto the steps. JBL gets a second rope fallaway slam, then a regular one, then one on the floor outside. Wow, I think the only time you’ll see a guy do the same slam over that many times would be Scott Steiner throwing an overhead suplex, preferably on Triple H in that little experiment. Mysterio comes back with a tornado DDT and moonsault for two. Mysterio gets the 619 but JBL dodges the spring in and levels him with the Clothesline From Hell for the win. Surprisingly pretty solid for what they had to work with. **3/4
Winner: JBL
Undertaker v. Randy Orton & Cowboy Bob Oldton – Casket Match
This is advertised as the big *first ever* handicap casket match. That’s one duo that’s just asking for trouble. Anyway, some Wal-Mart employees are going to get it since I just realized that the disc starts skipping with error blocks around the screen when the build-up video for this match plays. Oh, This probably sounds like some cheap excuse, but I am being serious. Besides, how could I not look forward to a good old fashioned Underseller casket match classic? So, without giving you some cheap knock off summary since I won’t sink to that low of a level, I’ll try to think back to when I originally saw the show at the sports bar, where the Ortons get the win and afterwards light the casket on fire later setting up the big return. **
Winners: Randy Orton & Cowboy Bob Oldton
Nunzio v. Juventud – Cruiserweight Championship
Oh man, they actually gave this one this late of a spot? What, has hell froze over in the SmackDown office? They go with a reversals to start as Tazz wonders why exactly Juventud calls himself The Juice. Good question, although I’m not sure if I want to know the answer. Juvi gets a headscissors and backbreaker for two. Seated dropkick by Juvi and he gets a gutbuster for two. Nunzio misses the Sicilian Slice, Vito tries to get involved but gets rannaed. Juvi Driver finishes things soon after, giving him the title. This should go as an example memo to the SmackDown creative, if you’re going to give this match such a high card spot, at least cut out the usual cruiser format and make it not Velocity length short. Good stuff from them otherwise. **3/4
Winner: Juventud
Batista v. Eddie Guerrero – World Heavyweight Championship
Of course this would later be known as Eddie’s last PPV match. Like anti-American Kurt, heel Eddie draws a big face pop. Eddie takes him down by the legs to start but then gets crunched in the test of strength. He then heads outside to strategize and soak up some cheers. So, after all ten minutes of that, the match finally gets underway. Eddie fights out of a headlock and dodges a charge. Back to the headlock for a while. A bit early for a resthold, wouldn’t you say? Eddie gets out but receives a series of scoop slams for two, so he resuls to getting a chair, but then he suddenly remembers of his new life values, and makes the wise decision of dropping it. He goes up and nails a reverse Frog Splash for two. Eddie stays in control with a body scissors and single leg Boston Crab. Eddie again renowns his new clean lifestyle and decides not to use the tag rope for choking purposes. A boot takes the face makes Batista angry, and like Bruce Banner might say, you do not want to see Batista when he is angry. Batista DAVES UP, but then stupidly blind charges into a drop toe hold. Ref not surprisingly takes a bump and Eddie gets a DDT, then faces another life-changing decision of where or not to use the chair, and does not. He blocks the Batista Bomb but gets a spinebuster for two. Three Amigos time, but as usual the Frog Splash misses, and Dave finishes things with a spinebuster. Pretty slow and disappointing, and kind of a lame ending at that. **3/4
Winner: Batista
