The NeelDown Video Review: WWF King Of The Ring 2000

The NeelDown: WWF King Of The Ring 2000

– From Boston, Massachusetts

– Hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler

– For some reason I have always dug this stage, with the giant logo and two swords hanging down at the entrance.

Rikishi v. Chris Benoit – KOTR Quarterfinal
This match has little relevance whatsoever to the tournament, it is merely to carry out the feud from when Rikishi just beat Benoit on SmackDown for the IC title with the ASS CLOBBER. Boy, I haven’t pulled out the old ass clobber since the WrestleMania 13 review. Benoit attacks to start but Rikishi gets a Samoan Drop so Benoit bails, then eats steps. Back in Benoit is able to get a German for two. Benoit tries the Crossface while Rikishi is on a knee, which of course results to nothing, but then he locks in the real thing, but Rakish won’t tap, so Benoit UNLEASHES THE AGGRESSION by getting a chair and wacking him with it a couple of times. Awful choice for an opener. Anyway, the DQ advances Rikishi, although his chances are now slim to none after getting killed after the match. 1/4*
Winner: Rikishi

– The McMonolopy family (including HHH) have a team meeting in the back, where Vince proclaims himself as Joe Cool.

– Benoit says that the world already knows he is the best technical wrestler in the world, and he does whatever he wants, which is why he didn’t mind getting DQ’ed. Well, he might not mind, but WE do.

Eddie Guerrero v. Val Venis – KOTR Quarterfinal
King is quick to jump the gun with the “buns of steel” slur on Chyna, and then blatantly slips by saying “look at Mama Sita’s boobs!” When asked by JR, he says he said “boots.” Oy. Venis jumps him to start but Eddie comes back with a pair of dropkicks. Eddie blocks a powerbomb and sends Venis to the floor, where Eddie gets dropped over the barricade. Eddie goes up and gets a superplex for a quick two. Eddie, which by the way is his debut without rocking the mullet, goes with a surfboard but Venis rakes the eyes. That does nothing, however, since Eddie stays on the offense and gets a backslide for two. Val goes with some elbow power and gets two. Eddie per usual misses the Frog Splash, Money Shot hits the knees, so Eddie tries an Oklahoma Roll for two. Russian leg sweep by Venis gets two. Eddie gets a top rope ranna but Trish has the ref distracted, so Chyna takes her out. Venis tries going after Chyna, so Eddie rolls him up for two. Venis gets a Fisherman’s Suplex for the win and advance. That ending kind of came out of nowhere. Good stuff from both guys, especially for a quarterfinal. ***
Winner: Val Venis

– Coach, fully equipped with a full head of hair, interviews Rikishi.

Crash Holly v. Bull Buchanan – KOTR Quaterfinal
You can’t say Crash didn’t earn his spot in the tournament, he did beat Albert and Bob Holly recently, but that’s not saying much. Buchanan gets the fan’s laser light face treatment during his entrance. Bull dominates for a while, to the point where we are just waiting until Crash pulls off the surprise schoolboy upset. King shows no signs of burying Crash, and says that he’s lucky to even be in wrestling, and should be in an alley. Buchanan ends up missing a scissor kick and Crash cradles him for the win, and then takes off running before Bull can even stand. This was your usual jobber KOTR qualifier where whoever wins deserves the right to go on and get beat by the hot name in the next round, in this case Jericho or Angle. -*
Winner: Crash Holly

Kurt Angle v. Chris Jericho – KOTR Quarterfinal
Evil Kurt does a HILARIOUS heel interlude to the crowd, after talking about bad every Boston sports team sucks, he gives a Boston impersonation saying “It’s true, I’m unemployed, and I’m going to get another beey-uh.” Slugest to start resulting in some usual move exchanges. Jericho gets the missile dropkick for two. Bulldog and Lionsault hit already, but the bottom rope saves Angle. Another missile dropkick sends Angle to the floor where he hiptosses Jericho into the crowd, then feeds him to the steps. Suplex floatover back inside gets two for Angle, then it’s chinlock grapevine time. Jericho comes back with a backbreaker for two, but misses a dropkick and gets catapulted int the corner followed by a back suplex for two, in a SWEET sequence. German bridge by Angle gets two. Meanwhile, King comments that Angle’s ring attire looks snazzy. Great choice of words. Angle goes up top but Jericho dropkicks him and gets a top rope ranna. Chops and spinning heel kick get two for Jericho. Angle taps to the Walls but Stephanie has the referee Teddy Long distracted. Ref gets bumped and Stephanie tries leveling Jericho with the belt but it misses and hits Angle, then gets kissed by Jericho. Boy, HHH must be pissed. That buys Angle enough time to hit the Angle Slam for the win. Much like Vengeance when the McMahon interference dulled all of the great matches of the night, this was no exception, but a great match otherwise. ***1/2
Winner: Kurt Angle

– We do the annual tune into WWF New York where Mick Foley is, talking about KOTR 98.

– Again we taunt with the sports teams as E&C make fun of the Buckner World Series incident.

Too Cool v. Edge & Christian v. T & A v. The Hardy Boyz – Tag Team Championship
This one is an elimination, so hopefully we drop some dead weight quickly. Prince Back Hair tosses Jeff around for a while to start, but Jeff makes him chase him outside and gets a tag. Hardyz get a double elbow fro two. Pop Quiz comes in and gets the BIG BOOT on Matt, goes for the Pumphandle but Matt slips out and tries the Twist Of Fate, but Trish has things distracted. Lita provides Matt to get the Twist Of Fate but Albert breaks the pin. Jeff gets a senton on Test eliminating T & A, reluctantly. Scotty Jobby comes in and gets a flapjack on Jeff, then goes to dance but Christian blind tags himself in, and in comes Matt who gets the second rope legdrop for two. Poetry In Motion on Christian, then a double suplex on Edge. I guess Edge is legal now, and the switcheroo gets two. Colliding lariats lead to team interference, and Lita gets a top rope ranna on Edge, Jeff covers for two. Don’t really know why they would even throw that in there when it doesn’t result to anything. Twist Of Fate continues to prove and be a lackluster finisher, as it only gets two on Christian. Christian retaliates with the Unprettier on him eliminating the Hardyz. So now we’re down to E&C and the champs. Sexay, just now making his match debut, gets a missile dropkick on Edge, then tags to Scotty and they get a double elbow, thus raising da roof. Christian leg sweeps Scotty for two, and E&C get a double headbut for two. Why do E&C even have to bother with these guys? Double-KO results in the hot tag to Sexay who cleans house and of course overcomes the odds by overtaking Edge and Christian and sandwiching them. E&C grab a flapjack and try a double Worm but Scotty comes in and gives them a double bulldog, then goes for the worst finisher in wrestling. Okay, we got that out of the way. In weird spot Christian tries nailing them with the belt, but gets dumped. The legdrop hits, but in one of the worst and weirdest finishes ever, Scotty is still in the ring after the legdrop so the ref has to get him back to the apron, therefor not seeing the pin, letting Christian come in and land a belt shot for the win and titles. E&C carried it well enough. **3/4
Winners: Edge & Christian

Rikishi v. Val Venis – KOTR Semifinal
Rikishi gets the superkick quickly, sending things to the floor for some brawling. Rikishi drops a leg back in and signals for the Cellulite Splash, and hits it, but Venis plants him with a DDT. Slugfest, and another DDT by Val. Rakish catches him off the top and gets a belly to belly … and that’s it. Well, if this, the match that was supposed to NOT be a joke as opposed to Crash-Angle, doesn’t prove how much of a train wreck this tournament is, I don’t know what does. -* for obvious reasons.
Winner: Rikishi

Crash Holly v. Kurt Angle – KOTR Semifinal
If only they would have gave Kurt a second dose of mic time here. They exchange some mat sequences to start, shocking Kurt, me, and everyone else. Crash gets a snap powerslam for two, but receives a belly to belly. Angle stays on offense and locks in a rear choke, as if it is needed in this match. Crash escapes but gets caught with a knee. Crash gets a back drop and missile dropkick for a close two. Angle Slam finishes things a few seconds after though. Interestingly enough, they actually turned that into a decent back and fourth match for the couple of minutes it lasted, despite it in reality being a total joke squash match. *
Winner: Kurt Angle

Pat Patterson v. Gerald Brisco – Hardcore “Drag” Championship
I suffer through this stuff for YOU. We have maxi-pads and all. JR comments that someone at home is yelling “this is ain’t wrasslin.” Ya think? Oh, this is bra and panties rules. Crash runs out and rips off all of their clothes then smashes a garbage can over Patterson’s head
giving him the Hardcore title. Words can’t even describe this attempt at humor.
Winner: Crash Holly

X-Pac, Street Puppyy & Tori v. The Dudley Boyz – Dumpster Match
Bubba takes care of Road Dogg to start and tags in D’Von who takes a spin kick from X-Pac. They tag Tori in, she kicks D’Von twice then tags out. Bubba gets a hot tag, but the crowd is dead, who cleans DX house setting up the TWO (count em) Wazzup Headbuts, and then one on Tori. Perverts. Things spill outside where the Dumpster Cam shows the Dudleyz get tossed in, but the ref doesn’t see it. Boy, who pissed Vince off to get DUMPSTER CAM duty? Dudleys sneak under the ring and come out with chair wacks, then stack two tables outside, and toss Road Dogg through them. X-Pac has to play the lone man now, and he get suplexed through a table. Tori jumps into the dumpster rather than face the Dudleyz, so they go to save her, but DX lay them out with chair shots sending them into the dumpster. Nothing but a mess here, although the table spot cut it some major leeway. **
Winners: X-Pac, Street Puppyy & Tori

Kurt Angle v. Rikishi – King Of The Ring Final
You know, the video package makes it look like this whole KOTR thing is actually important this year. They brawl outside to start, but back in Angle blocks the Culliliteface and gets a lariat, then pulls off a Flair taunt. Rakish gets sent into the steps outside and we return to the slow brawl in the ring. Rikishi comes back with a one-armed Samoan Drop and stunner, then the Celluliteface hits, but Angle retaliates with the Angle Slam, but it only gets two. Damn. I say that knowing this match has nothing to offer, of course. Rikishi sits on him for a close two. He goes up but gets crotched, and Angle goes up and gets a belly to belly for the win, crowning him the new King Of The Ring. Well, despite what a joke of a tournament it was, at least the right man went over in the end. As for the match itself, much like most of the rest, it sucked. *1/2
Winner: Kurt Angle

The McMahon Family v. The Rock, Undertaker & Kane – WWF Championship
Of course, TMF is Triple H, Vince, and Shane. Kane destroys Shane to start, who is once again playing walking merchandise with the patented King Of The Ring jersey on. Rock and HHH find their way on, and some double teaming puts Shane back in and on the offense of Rock, so Rock gets angry and tosses him. UT makes an off-camera tag and Chokeslams Shane, but Rock, breaks up the pin of his own team mate. That’s not something you see everyday. HHH comes in but falls victim of UT’s underselling. Big boot gets two. Shane gets tagged in and is able to toss Rock due to HHH pulling down the ropes. All of Team McMahon pound on Rock until Undertaker makes the save. Back in HHH grabs a Pedigree on Rock out of nowhere, but Rock kicks out. Vince adds on the deadly two-second illegal choke. Shane comes in and manages to get some stuff on Rock, then tags in Vince who does nothing, then tags in son-in-law who uses the WRATH OF KNEE for two. HHH tries something from the top (???) but gets caught with by Rock, but HHH clotheslines him for two. Vince low blows Rock for two. Back to the son-in-law, who gets Samoan Dropped for two. The “forget the rules, everybody brawls everbody” sequence follows, leaving Rock to spinebuster HHH and go for the Elbow, but Kane comes in and Chokeslams him. HHH thinks him Kane are pals now, but that ends abruptly when Kane Tombstones him. Shane goes up, but the UT grabs him and Chokeslams him through the announce table. Well, you know SOMETHING like that was going to happen in this match. That leaves Vince in the ring with the down Rock, so he tries the People’s Elbow but Rock jumps up and Rock Bottoms him for the title. That of course was a pretty odd ending since we just saw UT get the big Chokeslam and he was outside just fine. Match itself was nothing more than cluster of sloppiness, with no real tag formula content to make it good. **1/4
Winner: The Rock