TNA: In The Zone for 4/20/06
Greetings and salutations, wrestling fans. It’s time, once again for my favorite Internet wrestling column, In The Zone.
I’ve had a few people ask me why I like the heels so much. They want to know why nearly every column I’ve written seems to feature bad guys “In The Zone.” The answer to this question is actually pretty simple. I don’t root for the heels or the faces. I enjoy workers who entertain me. Face and Heel are distinctions that hold little meaning anymore. I’ve seen guys in wrestling who have the personality to pull off both. In TNA, Christian Cage is a great example. In his previous career, he was mostly viewed as a bad guy, and Captain Charisma never failed to entertain. Nowadays, Cage is the among the top faces in the company. He pulls off both roles very effectively. Why then has Cage not been In The Zone? Easy, we don’t see enough of him. Apparently, the creative team in TNA doesn’t believe that we want to see our champion. Well, I guess that they are entitled to whatever bullshit opinion they want to have. After all, they get paid to do what they do, so I guess that makes them experts on what we, the viewers want. (See, the only real heels are the writers.)
On to the show! This week we start to really build up Lockdown. What better way to do this than with an 8 man tag team match? It’s Team Canada (Petey Williams, Bobby Roode, A1, and SHOWTIME Eric Young) versus Team USA (Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, and Alex Frickin’ Shelley). Anyone who has been reading this column knows how happy I will be to watch this match. Especially seeing Shelley and EY start things out. Oh wait, Alex Shelley is just f*ckin’ with us. He’s not going to wrestle against his good buddies in Tam Canada!
Throughout this match (which featured some really awesome X-Div style stuff) We really get to see Mr. Shelley shine. He plays his role to the hilt. We finally do get to see some offense by him when he gets blind tagged in, and his teammates refuse to let him tag out. These guys really tell a story with their bodies, and few of the younger guys are better than Alex Shelley. Team USA miscommunication, and head bumping cause A1 to get a pump-handle powerbomb for the win. (Go back and look, if you DVRd it, the announcers didn’t call the collision, but it sure was there.)
Next we get a six man tag match, featuring the Diamonds in the Rough versus Sting’s Warriors.
Okay, rather than joking about Simon looking like Vince Vaughn, maybe you’ll allow me to go off on a different tangent. The de-push that Elix Skipper has been on really bugs the shit out of me. Here you have one of the most physically talented guys in the BUSINESS (not just TNA) and he’s playing second fiddle to Simon Diamond. Don’t get me wrong, Simon is really pretty decent on the stick but he should not be overshadowing Elix. Skipper didn’t even flip into the ring this week. To put this in perspective, one year ago, at the first Lockdown, Skipper had the most outrageous “oh shit” moment since Foley flew. Just think about that. If by any act of God TNA creative reads this shitty little column, I hope they just think about that.
Wow, I had a whole other rant planned about how Sting’s Warriors were all champions in their own rights, and didn’t need to be made subservient to Sting. I know that this match is really between Jarrett and Sting, and each has to bring a team, but in my opinion, there is no comparison. Truth, Rhino, and AJ are just that much better than Steiner, Harris, and Storm. Now, if it was LANCE Storm rather than JAMES Storm, the teams would be way more even. Wow, I guess I did have a little rant there. Eh?
I expect this to be a total squash, and I’m not far from wrong. The Jobbers in the Rough try to do a good job of heel tactics, but in the end, they just end up doing a J.O.B.
Next we have more of In The Back, with our host, JB. Larry Z has more to say, but Slick interrupts him with more talk of this mysterious “New Guy.” I hope its DJ Qualls. I don’t think it will be, but Raven’s name gets thrown around. What, a Raven mention that doesn’t include Cassidy Riley?
After the commercial, Captain Charisma Christian Cage is out, but he isn’t dressed to wrestle. He’s just here to tell us all the same stuff he told us last time. I like this version of Christian. He seems serious and potentially deadly. However, Mitchell interrupts via the video screen, giving Abyss the chance to sneak in. He ends up choking Cage out with his chain. Wow, everyone and his brother came out to help Sting, but the good Captain seems to have no friends. Mitchell said that his plan was to get in Christian’s head, but I feel that the plan might backfire this Sunday.
Next up is ANOTHER 6 man tag match. I thought I might make it through a whole show without having to see Jarrett, but here he comes with AMW to tee off against Team 3D.
Fuck.
Jackie comes out with the JJ and AMW, but she isn’t really featured. If they aren’t going to use her, they need to let her team with someone else. All she did here was beam her happiness every time Team 3D got the upper hand.
The newly christened Brother Runt really showed his stuff here, but of course JJ’s ego wouldn’t accept a loss here. Jarrett just can’t admit that he is not the greatest wrestler in the world. 3D goes after Jarrett after the match, drawing out Team Canada. This beat down draws out AJ, Truth, and Rhino. Abyss comes out for no real reason that I could see, except that he knew it would get Christian in the ring (though no one came to help him earlier). At this point, Steiner finally limps to the ring. I think he came out with JJ, but it took him this long to get here. Finally, Sting shows up, sans baseball bat. This was really a clusterf*ck of an ending to what had been a pretty decent show.
Afterwards we get a nice “Amityville Horror” promo for the Six Sides of Steel. Lockdown shows promise. We’ll see, anyway.
Well, another show, and we had a few really good performances. Only a couple of guys got to show their character this week. I was going to put Alex Shelley In The Zone, but his lack of actual wrestling this week threw me off a bit. My second choice, for sheer attitude, was going to Cage, but he didn’t really do a lot either (though he WAS entertaining).
This week one guy really seemed to enjoy himself, and told a great story. This week, despite losing the match, Brother Runt is In The Zone.
See, it’s a face. Leave me alone.
Do you have any comments or suggestions for who else should be featured In The Zone? Email me.
Dougie
icarusfallz@yahoo.com
