The Crucifix

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Welcome back my friends to my humble little column. This week we have…GASP…MATERIAL to work with! On with the show…

WWECW! WWECW! WWECW!

Yes that’s right, you heard it here last. WWE has decided to hop on top of that ECW corpse and do some C-P-R! C-P-R! Yes, they technically started reviving the company (by the way, I’m sick of hearing about brands. WCW was a COMPANY, not a brand. WWE has changed the course of history with the “brand split”, making everyone remember brands and not companies) last year with One Night Stand, but now they’ve taken Paul E’s head out of freezing and are putting it to use.

Now let us take a look at all the news reports (and boy are people creaming for this. Scherer must be blowing up Paul E’s phone. Which begs the question: Does Paul still have that huge Zack Morris phone?) and I’ll say my peace.

– WWE’s arena booking department has already begun calling small arenas to run “ECW” brand house shows, starting in July. According to WrestlingObserver.com, TV will be taped as prelim matches at RAW and/or Smackdown, and may at first appear online. Many of the One Night Stand wrestlers will be offered contracts, written up as one-year deals with two one-year options for WWE to extend the deals.

– So is it ECW Velocity now? Hardcore Heat? This is the first stupid step. Now I’m not looking to be negative here but if you are going to do this thing, don’t you think you should just BUY the old ECW Arena? Even with its renovations it would probably go for a song. This is the first problem with WWECW. I know that Philly isn’t next door to Stamford, but seriously why not just set up shop in Philly like old times?

-Tommy Dreamer — currently in the talent relations department at WWE — and Paul Heyman — currently booking television for WWE developmental territory Ohio Valley Wrestling — would likely be booking ECW when the promotion starts back up. One possibility is that ECW will take over OVW, while another is that ECW would get matches on RAW or Smackdown, or maybe elsewhere.

– Ok, Tommy and Paul, that’s a given. But why in the world would ECW take over OVW? OVW is the feeder for WWE. Do you think that ECW, with its smarky fans (that’s all they’ll have at first) would accept a bunch of kids in training as their hardcore warriors? No says I. The other possibility is that ECW matches would be on Raw or Smackdown…what? Hopefully the retard that came up with this idea is sent back to the boiler room in due time. If you put ECW on Raw or Smackdown then it is…say it with me kids…WWECW.

-The Sandman, Francine and Balls Mahoney among others have been reached out to, and that contracts are being sent to them this week. The contracts will be three-year deals with “a series of one-year contracts, with rollover clauses.”

– Sandman was probably all like “Oh thank the f*ck Christ, a job.” Obviously these are some of the people who would be reached out to, so this comes as no surprise. The only sad thing is that RVD will be going too. Legacy? WWECW just smoked his legacy.

-It is believed this will be a mix of both former ECW wrestlers and new WWE developmental wrestlers.

– See above. Developmental talent = train wreck.

– The contracts will begin before ECW One Night Stand, go through the PPV, and end up as either a faction on RAW and/or Smackdown, its own weekly TV show, and/or most likely as an online entity. Paul Heyman will be the on-air and behind-the-scenes head of ECW, while it is rumored that Joey Styles will be the announcer, with Jim Ross returning to the RAW announce team. The Torch also says that the downside contracts being offered are typical of RAW and SD contracts.

– Why would they be a faction on Raw or Smackdown and can Steve Austin come back to lead them to the promised land? Poor Joey Styles, there goes his dream of announcing for Raw. Good for Jim Ross though, that fat doughboy. You knew he’d get his job back somehow. WWECW – Creating opportunities all year round.

Now, just in closing, this thing has roses and a train wreck possibilities. It could very well be the first nail in TNAs coffin if done right and could also do wonders for business if done correctly. That’s the roses part. Now for the train wreck: This is Vince McMahon running ECW. The man won’t let anyone he didn’t create get over on his shows, how in the world is he going to let an entire company thrive under his banner? Don’t give me the “he love money” shit. His ego loves crushing things. Additionally, with about as much of a plan as they had for WCW going into this, it has train wreck spelled all over it.

CHOOO CHOOO! Tickets please! WWECW express train bound for Stamford, with stops in hell and purgatory. Buckle up and let’s see if we can make it.


– Kurt Angle, who has not appeared in good shape physically, worked the SD house show in Germany and is scheduled to compete today.

Have you seen Kurt lately? I think he’s been wearing the chicken suit too much lately. I’m pretty sure Funaki outweighs him at this point.


Regarding Bob Holly:

– The staph infection he got in the ring around August of last year turned into MSRA, they thought they had cured it, but when he had surgery on his right elbow in February it came back full force landing him back in the hospital in March. Everything seemed to be going ok until around the 7th or 8th of April when he came down with what we thought was a bad case of the flu (fever, chills, and then his arm began to swell). We went back to the doctor and he was admitted directly to the hospital that night and emergency surgery was scheduled the next morning. We stayed in the hospital until they put a PIC line in and got the results of the cultures back from surgery showing it was indeed still the MSRA which had gotten into his blood and also embedded his elbow joint. Unfortunately the only antibiotic that will probably get rid of it once and for all has to be administered by IV once every 12 hours for about the next 6 weeks. He has been on and off antibiotics since September of last year fighting this infection when he first got it, which really created a super strain infection resistant to everything they have given him. Now we are fighting along with that damage to other organs probably caused from such strong meds. They are monitoring him closely here at home, taking blood every other day now, delivering the medication to us daily, and at least trying to let him be here instead of at the hospital. The results on Friday were a little scary and they started him on an additional medication because his platelet level and potassium level were very high. Hopefully things will start to turn around and they will get this all out of his system without any long term damage to his kidneys.

– MRSA? I thought he was just an A-S-S-H-O-L-E. Best of luck to him but at least he doesn’t have cancer like the kid he beat the shit out of on Tough Enough.


– WWE and Brock Lesnar settled their lawsuit! Yay!

“Although the settlement with WWE does not give Brock the clear-cut court victory he was looking for, it does provide him with the certainty he needs to pursue new ventures while he is still in his athletic prime … Lesnar is not considering a return to WWE at this time.”

– Yes! Brock getting his ass handed to him in UFC! Or staying in Japan where I get to watch him on YouTube! He’ll be back by Summerslam and he’ll join the Kiss My Ass Club by October. Then he’ll join the Suck My Moustache Club.


I’m out! That’s enough fresh content for one week and I’m sure Eric will have a ton of better things to say about all of the above. I mean, he is an INTERNET GOD. Adios!