Saluti.
As always, if you have any questions about the show (background, history, etc.), or wish to share your opinions of a specific episode/character/plotline/etc, or if you vehemently disagree with one of my conclusions or opinions — please email me by clicking my name in the column title at the top of page. I’ll answer everything here in the column the next week.
First things first: if you aren’t familiar with The Sopranos, or if you need a refresher course on the history of the show (since it has been 21 months since the last episode), please read my column on the background of Tony Soprano. It concentrated on Tony’s character, but touches just about every large storyline that we’ve seen over the first 5 seasons. You should be able to find links to the recaps to the past few episodes at the bottom of the page.
Okay – two day turnaround on the recap. And we have pictures – things are improving, no?
Previously on The Sopranos:
- Tony brings in two guys from Italy to do a hit on Rusty
- Christopher hears about Vito being in a gay bar
- Vito is confronted, and takes off in his car
- Vito drives to New Hampshire and gets a room in a Bed & Breakfast
- Tony and Christopher talk about the possibility of Ahmed and Mohammed being terrorists
- Vito gets to try Johnny Cakes
- Meadow tells her Mom that Finn saw Vito giving a guy a blowjob
- The crew argue about whacking Vito
- Vito does some antiquing
Episode 72: Live Free or Die:
Directed by: Danny Leiner
Written by: Matthew Weiner
Corky meets up with two Italians, and gives them a couple of pistols and directions (in Italian). He warns them: “The man you’re gonna pop is very cautious.” (That’s from the subtitles. So, is the word for “gonna” in Italian different than the one for “going”?)
The crew is “opening the book”: we have a couple of new made men: Bert and Jerry (nope, I don’t recognize them either). To celebrate, everyone is having dinner at Vesuvio’s, but there’s some problems with the quality of service. Artie blames the delay on a new guy in the kitchen, but even Bobby is asking what the problem is. Phil talks a new restaurant called Da Giovanni, and a couple of the guys rave about the food. Artie, of course, does his best to ignore any talk about it.
Tony and Christopher talk about Vito a bit (Chris: “la Cage au Fat”), and Carlo mentions getting in touch with a detective. Tony’s attitude is fairly lax about searching, so Chris takes the chance to request permission to take a trip out to LA: he and Little Carmine are going to attempt to talk Ben Kingsley (!!) into taking a part on his new movie “Cleaver”. Tony is hesitant to let him go (“So you’re going to go get an autograph on the weekend of the Notre Dame/Michigan game?” Just in case you were wondering what time of year it is on the show), but Christopher is persistent (“I don’t get it, you agreed to this in the hospital.” “Christopher, I was in a coma.”) Finally, Tony relents.
Rusty and his driver are trying to back out of his driveway, when an SUV pulls up and blocks them in. Two guys that don’t speak English very well step out and ask directions to someplace in New York. Don’t get distracted, Rusty: you can’t take your eyes off of… uh, them. Yes, you know what happens here – as soon as they’re distracted: bang bang bang. Rusty will walk like a man no longer.
Back at Vesuvio’s, Artie is walking from table to table, filling in his customers on more detail than they probably need in terms of how the food was prepared. Christopher, Murmur (Chris’s AA sponsor), and Benny are hanging out at the bar, enjoying some free drinks, and staring at the new hostess Martina, a recent immigrant from Albania.
Murmur stops in some strip-mall pizza shop called “Italianissimo”, drops off a thick envelope of cash, and picks up a small black plastic case. We find out what that is soon afterwards, when he does a further transaction with Ahmed and Mohammed (“I can put the credit card numbers on actual plastic for an extra five bills.” “We do Internet strictly.”)
And here we are, at the now famous Da Giovanni’s restaurant. Carmela and Tony are sitting a table, enjoying food of the highest quality. Tony admits he feels like a “traitor”, but Carmela points out that Vesuvio’s has been “depressing” lately. “That menu is so tired.” Meanwhile, on the other side of the dining room, Vito Spatafore’s son is being bullied from other kids: “Hey, Homo Junior!” Phil walks over, and we find out that this was apparently for one of his young relative’s confirmation. Phil tells Tony, from John, thanks for the Rusty hit. Tony denies knowing anything about it (seeing as how he had told Phil “no” in the last episode), and Phil comments about how “cautious” Tony truly is. Giovanni, the chef, makes an appearance with his final course, a veal loin.
Vesuvio’s, however, is practically barren. And Artie’s mood does not improve when he sees his new Hostess Martina hanging out with Benny at the bar, stroking the inside of his thigh. He pulls Martina aside, and informs her that he won’t be able to help her with her green card like he had originally said (wow, this guy really does not react well when he finds out that a woman he has the hots for like another guy).
To drown his sorrows, Artie decides to hang out at the Bada Bing for a while, and is joined by Tony. Artie goes on a bit of a spew about how Tony could f*ck any of the dancers in the bar, while the best he could hope for is a lap dance and a dry hump. He then confronts Tony about their recent meal at Da Giovanni, which Tony chalks up to “a business obligation.”
Back at home, Artie and Charmaine talk about the problems with the restaurant, including issues with their beef supplier. Charmaine tries to talk to Artie about his constant chatting with the customers, and he flips out on her: “You know better than New Jersey Zagat? ‘Arthur Bucco, warm and convivial host’?”
Christopher joins Little Carmine in Los Angelos, and we find out how they can get Ben Kingsley in a meeting: Carmine got his agent out of some kind of trouble in Florida some time ago. They retire to the bar to unwind for a bit, with Christopher insisting he can handle being near alcohol.
Back at Vesuvio’s, Artie is… chatting up more customers, of course. After catching Martina talking to Benny again, he gives her a hard time about putting specials in the menu. This causes Benny to call Artie over, and ask him what the problem is. Artie is confrontational right off the bat, and asks Benny if he wants to hire her. A: “You’re a people person, obviously.” B: “I am. And when they’re good to me, they get treats. And when they’re not – well, I got this severance thing I do. It’s a complete break, actually.” Artie refuses to back down – luckily Charmaine interrupts and gets him back in the kitchen. Artie: “It’s disgusting, he’s a married man!”
Back in LA, Chris was obviously optimistic about his chances to stay clean and sober, since he’s in a hotel room with a hooker and several lines of coke. ($500 an hour? Wow – profitable work.)
Tony is back at Vesuvio’s, and Artie apologizes for his behavior back at the Bing, owing it to stress from the restaurant: “I’m down 40% from last year.” Tony asks if he needs help, but Artie insists he’s not that desperate yet. Tony makes a few suggestions, like maybe “2-for-1” coupons, but Artie (angrily) tells him that’s out of the question for his “fine dining establishment”. Artie suggests that to really help, Tony could actually pay his tab.
Murmur makes another pick up of credit card numbers, from Hillel Teittleman, a Hasidic Jew working at a motel. (Gosh, I bet he’d love to know how those numbers are being sold to.)
Artie’s troubles continue: two reps from American Express show up to Vesuvio’s, informing him that some credit card numbers have been stolen (gee, really? wonder who might do something like that..), and that they have to suspend his ability to accept AmEx until the investigation is complete.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Ben Kingsley. He’s on the phone with his agent, asking why he has to take this meeting. His reaction to the explanation: “Bollocks!” The meeting does go on, with Carmine spinning the movie as “‘The Ring’ meets ‘Godfather II’.” (Wait, what happened to ‘Saw’?) Sir Ben says his involvement is “script dependent”, so Chris and Carmine try to steer around the fact that they do not, in fact, actually have a script. To break the truly uncomfortable feel of this meeting, Lauren Bacall walks by – and Sir Ben jumps at the chance to chat with her. Ms. Bacall says she’s in town to be a presenter at an awards show (“Sho-West — some bullshit”). Sir Ben tries to break the meeting to attend something called the Luxury Lounge, but the two wiseguys decide to just tag along.
Before heading up, Chris makes a call to Murmur, and tells him to get on a plane (in case you didn’t understand this part: an AA sponsor is someone who helps you through your sobriety process; ideally, someone who’s made it through all of the 12 steps, and has been clean for a significant point in time; they’re the first person you should call if you fall off the wagon – say, by snorting a couple grams of coke with a prostitute; just don’t ask me how I know all this, okay?). Then, Chris and Carmine get to find out what a Luxury Lounge is: basically, it’s a bunch of extremely upscale products given away gratis to celebrities – in other words, swag. Chris, especially, is flabbergasted by the decadence.
Artie and Charmaine have called a meeting of all the Vesuvio’s employees, to talk about the credit card issues. It starts out calmly enough, with Artie talking about how they are all a “family”, but quickly degenerates, due to Artie’s totally inability to hold his temper. It culminates in him accusing the staff of “ass-raping” him, and then yanking one of the tablecloths off a table, setting dishes and glassware flying.
Martina makes a cell phone call right afterwards to Benny, telling him what’s happened (yup – big shock it was those two). He convinces her that the credit card company will eventually eat the charges, and then returns to dinner with his wife. She, of course, wishes he could go one meal without a call from work — ah, if she only knew, she’d be ecstatic that it actually was work.
Back in LA, Christopher has more problems: namely, a hooker who has locked herself into his bathroom, after accusing him of trying to steal from her purse. (Which, of course, he probably was trying to do – looking for coke, most likely.) He takes a small break from yelling at her to call Sir Ben and ask if he can get Chris into the Luxury Lounge. Sir Ben says his publicist handles that, and gets off the phone as quickly as possible. There’s a knock at the door, and Christopher answers it while holding a bottle of champagne, thinking it’s hotel security. But, of course – it’s Murmur. His reaction: “Fuck.” Chris (dropping the champagne bottle): “I know, I gotta get together…”
Artie is talking to the coat girl at Vesuvio’s, who informs him that Martina was recently wearing a pair of $600 sandals. Artie confronts her, and she immediately breaks down (well, no omerta with this one). She accuses him of treating her like dirt ever since he figured out she wasn’t going to sleep with him. As you can imagine, Artie doesn’t react well, and fires her. You can see her reaction below: “I go to Benny, and we laugh at you when I f*ck him in the pile of money that we take from your stupid customers!” Artie: “Three months you worked here! You think that doesn’t go on your permanent record? We lead the world in computerized data collection!”
We then see Artie showing up late at night to… oh boy, it’s Benny’s house. This won’t go well. Benny tries to keep Artie calm, but Artie is having none of it, and pushes Benny.. twice. After the second one, Benny punches him.. twice. “You want some more?” Artie catches him off guard by tackling him into a table, gets the advantage, and just pummels poor Benny’s face, repeatedly. Ouch – looks bad. (Hope the picture comes out okay.)
Sir Ben Kingsley gets the pleasure of enjoying an elevator ride with Christopher and Murmur (thankfully, Ben asks how the nickname came about: “I had a heart murmur when I was a kid”). Chris has a little diatribe about the swag celebrities get: “they keep handing it out – the coolest shit in the world to the people who need it least.” Ben admits that it’s ridiculous, but says it’s not nearly as bad as what they hand out at awards shows – sometimes as much as $30,000.
Tony, Carmela, Artie and Charmaine are out for a ride on the Stugots II. Tony pulls Artie off to have a private talk, and lays right into him about the mess with Benny. Artie accuses Tony of knowing about the credit cards, but Tony denies knowing anything at all about it. Artie: “I’m just another victim of Benny Fazio, criminal mastermind.” Artie bitches about not being able to take AmEx, and how he now has to run the 2-for-1 specials now, on the advice of his accountant.
Christopher gets bad news from Carmine: “Ben Kingsley passed.”
Back at Satriale’s, Benny insists that he’s going to kill Artie, even if Tony kills him afterwards. Tony points out that Benny should never had stolen card numbers from Vesuvio’s: “You don’t shit where you eat. And you really don’t shit where I eat.” For restitution, Benny will have to hold the dinner party he’s planning for his parents’ anniversary party at Vesuvio’s.
Lauren Bacall exits the awards show, and is walking to her car with her swag bag, when she’s jumped by a guy wearing a black mask. How many times are you going to get the chance to hear Lauren Bacall yell: “Get the f*ck away from me!” (Well, unless you’re stalking her, I guess. Not that I ever did, of course. Umm, moving on…) And then… the masked man punches Lauren Bacall in the kisser. (And how many chances am I going to get to type that?) Ms. Bacall: “Jesus! My f*cking arm!”
Apparently, the 2-for-1 special is working: the coat check girl tells Artie there’s a line of people outside, They open the doors, and Artie and Charmaine prepare to greet… what looks like Early Bird Special crowd in Boca Raton. “Do you have low salt selections?” Ha!
Artie does come over to see Benny, his wife, and his parents at their table, and shakes Benny’s hand while checking on their meals. And of course, However, Artie is simply unable to just let it drop, so he asks Benny if he would like a “Martina”: “It’s like a martini, but it’s from Albania. Apparently they go down very easy – right, Ben?” In what should come as a shock to no one, Benny charges into the kitchen later, grabs Artie from behind (“In front of my wife!”), and sticks Artie’s hand into a boiling pot of spaghetti sauce. Ouch.
On the plane ride back home, Christopher sees an amusing headline on the cover of Variety:
He also gets an unexpected fellow passenger: Sir Ben Kingsley. Sir Ben’s forced smile, and Christopher’s follow-up “look of death” are incredibly amusing:
Tony, Carmela and her mother have dinner at Vesuvio’s (wow, we’re in this place a lot tonight). Tony confronts Artie in the back, and offers a few pieces of (rather unexpected) advice: 1) see a good psychiatrist, 2) stop “going about in pity for yourself” (the third episode in a row Tony’s quoted that line), and 3) “no one wants to hear you talk, just stay in the kitchen”. Artie is antagonistic through the first two suggestions, but seems sincerely affected by the third.
Christopher shares some of the stolen swag with Tony: an airline ticket to Australia, a woman’s watch, and a bag for a “pocket dog”. Tony implies that the trouble with Artie and Benny might not have happened if Chris had been doing his job, and watching his crew. Chris: “Look – not many guys have had to make the kind of sacrifice I did.” Tony: “How times are you going to play the Adriana card?”
A couple enters Vesuvio’s late at night after the kitchen has already been closed, and Charmaine talks Artie into cooking them a meal (“They’re gonna have to eat what I give ’em”). He does some searching, and pulls a… wait, is that..? Yup – he pulls a rabbit out of the fridge. He then pulls down an old notebook filled with hand-written recipes all in Italian – it turns out to be his grandfather’s. It seems to take a bit longer with one hand, but Artie gets back to something he’s definitely good at: cooking, the old-fashioned way, taking his time with quality ingredients.
Cue credits.
What did we learn this week?
– Well, obviously, I learned how to do video capture. Like it? Hate it? Have some characters you’d like to see here? Email me.
– Artie could really use a good smack in the head on occasion.
– Benny got beat up by a guy who got his ass kicked by a Frenchman. Gonna be tough to live that one down.
– Christopher is, at heart, a dumb, clueless, greedy worm. Of course, we knew that pretty well before this week – but we got further confirmation.
– Actually, the truly bad sides of everyone in Tony’s crew is being brought to the forefront this season. By comparison, Tony is looking like the Dalai Lama, in terms of enlightenment. (Big hitter, the Lama.) I’m not sure where it’s leading, but it feels like it’s a further exploration of Tony’s self-loathing about “this thing we do”.
– It’s fun to hear Sir Ben Kingsley and Lauren Bacall say “Fuck”.
– Speaking of Ms. Bacall: the old gal can certainly take a punch.
– In case you were curious, Mont Black pens cost less in the US than Italy.
Next week on the Sopranos:
- An attractive brunette introduces herself to Tony outside Satriale’s
- AJ tries to borrow money from his father, but is denied
- AJ is out hanging in a club with someone who should have “Self-destructive” written on his forehead with a permanent marker
- Phil is anxious to know what’s being done about Vito
- Tony to AJ, sitting in the car: “Your mother doesn’t find out about this.”
- Vito talks to Marie on the phone: “Phil? Trust him least of all.”
- Tony, grabbing someone (AJ?): “What did you do?!? What?!”
