Letters From Freakloud:#25

“I walk quiet at night through the projects, maybe one night look through your peephole….peekabooo!”

-Kool Keith

I can’t get the beat to this T.I. song outta my head. I think its called “What U Know About That”. If its not it should be because he says it six thousand times in the song. Unlike most post-backpackers, I’m not afraid to admit liking a radio song every now and then. The part that scares me is that its happened twice this year already. There haven’t been two songs that I’ve liked in the radio in one year since 1997 (Busta Rhymes “Put Your Hands…” and Wu-Tang Clan “Triumph”).

…Did I mention that I don’t like Tupac?…

Things were different then…The songs that I dug on the radio were like relics. They were the last vestiges of a sub-genre that was dying quickly. Songs that I like right now (dig is a strong word) are more tolerable then anything. There’s usually just some element of the beat that’s intriguing if I can tune out the rest of the presentation. At best, I have to call them guilty pleasures.

I’ve amassed quite a few of these over the years. Songs that at one point I was too embarrassed to admit that I was into…anything to keep my b-boy identity intact. Now that I ain’t half the elitist I once was, it’s a little easier to share these secret treasures.

Behold my shame…

Bone Thugs N Harmony – “1st of the Month”

Back when MTV2 was The Box, this video would come on six times in a row, then “Waterfalls” from TLC would come on, then Bone again six more times. I’m not gonna front and act like it wore me down, though… I dug it from the first time I heard it. I thought the beat was dope and at the time I had no idea what the hell the song was about. That’s funny in itself because I knew every word…seriously. Obviously my family didn’t know either. If they suspected me of singing “welfare carols” I probably would’ve gotten popped in the mouth.

Jay-Z feat. DMX – Money, Cash, Hoes
The year was 1998, I was at a Hardee’s somewhere in the middle of Illinois. The Greyhound bus that I was riding to Chicago had stopped there sometime in the night so that us hungry poor people might partake of some biscuits. I was standing in line and this beat wouldn’t leave me alone. It played in my mind over and over again for close to twenty minutes but I couldn’t remember who the artist was. I realized later that this was some advanced part of my brain trying to protect the rest of my fragile ego from the shock that came when I had to admit to myself that I liked a song where people say money and cash right after each other…as if they are two separate things.

Jadakiss – “We Gon’ Make It”

Fuck the Alchemist.

Somewhere amidst his transformation into the world’s first studio-thug producer, he made this really fly beat with this ill string arrangement and bassline. Its was an almost uplifting track in a time when most shit was gun-in-the-mouth depressing. It was the kind of track you put at the end of your album to let people know that shit is gonna be alright after all. The problem?

The asshole sold it to two different people.

Somewhere on the I-Tunes of a Los Angeles recording studio, there’s a rough mixdown of a song with Ras Kass rhyming over this same track. And because of pride and politics it’ll never see the light of day…

I’ll be damned if I still don’t zone out to Jada’s though.

Three-Six Mafia – Stay Fly

I like this song.

I hate Memphis. I hate gold teeth. I HATE Project Pat. I think Crunchy Black is a ridiculous name for a ridiculous person. Somebody said that the voices in the background is praising Lucifer. I hate seeing Juicy J’s ugly muppet mouth. I think Young Buck is a waste of a soul. And to top it all off there’s homely white women dancing in the background.

But this song made me download the whole album.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

A sparrow turns to a fleeing squirrel and asks…”How’s about a new feature?”

The squirrel screams yes while being carried away in the beak of a chicken hawk.

Old Skool Rap Rumors of this Fortnight

-Kool Keith met Godfather Don outside some industry event that both of them weren’t allowed entry to. They snuck in through a back window and then hung out for the next month or so recording the ‘Don produced tracks on “the 4 horsemen” and, of course, all the classic Cenobites tracks.

-Ashanti gave Jay-Z the infamous Summerjam photo of Prodigy from Mobb Deep in a ballet costume as she went to that ballet school with him that was owned by prodigy’s mother

-LL Cool J wrote MC Lyte’s Verse on The Self Destruction project: he was beefing with Kool Moe Dee who was on the record so he didnt want to be on it so he wrote lyte’s verse “funky fresh dressed to impress ready to party money in your pocket dying to move your body”

“It Ain’t a microphone brave enough to give me feedback”
-Canibus

A few weeks back I was obsessed with understanding why white folks love certain hip-hop songs. Not new shit, but old school shit like “Jump” and “Jump Around” and other folderol. I got a lot of feedback, but none of it was from the crazy young white folks that I wanted to hear from. Actually I might have heard from one and just don’t know it. To reinforce my assumptions I’ll accompany all of the feedback with pictures of what these people look like in my mind.

Except one, she’s as not-white as they come.

And she spoke up for the space pirate delegation…

I read your article and I think it brings up some good points. However, I think that it is also tip toeing around the an important issue.

Everything that you and the other people mentioned is correct, the catchy hook and beat, the constant video and radio airplay, etc. But something is missing in this discussion. You know I can’t help getting academic so bear.

For a long time this country existed within a black/white dichotomy. Whites defined themselves in opposition to blacks. Whatever blacks were (lazy, dirty, without morals, ignorant) whites were the exact opposite (hardworking, pure, morally superior, intelligent). This is part of the psychological aspect of minstrel shows. The first ones were performed by whites and the characterizations of blacks were reminders to whites of how great they were and how despicable and laughable blacks were.

Many of the crossover hits fit this bill. But now, whites don’t have to dress up and put all that silly make up on. Blacks are doing it for them. What’s even better, blacks let whites do the same. Remember discussing how similar the “Grillz” video is to minstrel shows?

Also, whites have also had a fantasy about blacks and black life. On the one hand black men are depicted as rapists with big mandingo penises, but, white women look them some black penis. Black women are portrayed as sexually loose, but white masters couldn’t keep their hands off of them. They want to participate in it while at the same time being disgusted by it. Most of these white kids who love 50 cent today will be the same ones ready to slap their own kids for listening to such deplorable music.

Whites look at the way black socialize with each other, the loud talk and jovial time they seem to be having while they participate in very reserved, constricting interactions with each other. They want some of that action, they want, “everything but the burden.” They believe in the black caricature of blacks just laughing their assess off, no matter the situation. Furthermore, those songs that depict the scary side of black life, remind them of how nice and quiet their own lives are, even if they are not they can at least participate in this dichotomized version.

So, they can have a small piece of their fantasy version of black life. They can sing their hearts out and really experience these songs. These songs are either “safe,” the happy black. Or they are the 50 cent type that remind them of how great it is to be white, even if you are dirt poor.

Just some thoughts that you could think about since you are going to still write about this subject. These things just kind of came to me while I was reading it.

What do you think?

I think you’re way smarter than me and that I’m using black Haitian magic to get you to marry me.

I also heard from the cantankerous middle-aged white males courtesy of Eric S.

Mike:

Yes, I did miss Professor X’s passing. Thank you for covering me.

Now, on to the minor bitch-slap. I can’t believe that you, a good
Chicagoan, didn’t treat that idiot Saint Dharma to the Fist Of The Eagle
for the patent untruth he attempted to promulgate. Yes, it’s true that
the Irish in America were the first real examples in this country of
White Niggers, going back to the 18th Century when the Irish made up a
large part of the Involuntary Servitude population, people who would
literally sell themselves into slavery to get passage to America and a
foothold in the new land. Yes, America had as much of a “No Blacks, No
Dogs, No Irish” attitude as England did. Yes, it’s true that the Irish
did have a tendency to get arrested in large numbers in the 19th Century
(read a history of our fair city sometime and take a gander at the
1850s, when discrimination against Irish and Germans was the order of
the day). However, the reason they’re called “Paddy Wagons” isn’t
because Irish got thrown in them a lot. It’s because they were the ones
driving. When the Irish came over and settled in large cities, they
were so used to being abused by the law back in Ireland that they
decided to become the law in the New World. Thus, the police forces in
a number of major cities, especially Chicago, Boston, and New York, were
disproportionately Oirish. Therefore, if a mobile police containment
unit pulled up somewhere, it was a pretty good bet that it was being
manned by Paddies, hence the name.

However, you’re absolutely right about one thing: no one can justify
Snow. “Informer” was unlistenable in 1990 and is still unlistenable today.

Eric

I deserve that black eye…because I don’t listen.

Representing the bald black former sit-com star contingent is everyone’s favorite brother Mathan:

First off, how do you not like Summertime? It’s a classic summer chillout jam. It’s a song that you cruise to. I’ve never met a person who didn’t give props to Summertime.

Secondly, I’m a fan of the Diplomats, and not only can I remember Cam’s debut (and even his pre album sampler) but I’ve got Children of the Corn songs in my collection.

(I know it must kill you to know that I have a place in my heart for Diplomats, but what I can I say?)

Thirdly, while I wasn’t a fan of Snow, I’ve been known to “licky boom boom down.”

Did I mention “great column” because it was a great read, as usual.

Mathan

Mathan, some of the things you say make me vomit a little bit and swallow it. But I can’t stop reading you. Its gotta be more Haitian voodoo.

And finally, representing the chubby half-nekkid fountain-people faction is IP Movie’s Michaelangelo McCullar

” They had “street cred”, the urban musician’s holy grail.”

Fellow Enfuegoan, I was wondering when you were going to catch that
point. Let me relate a story about one of the above mentioned crossover
stars that I just happened to know peripherally: Robert Van Winkle, aka
Vanilla Ice. Back in the late 80s here in Dallas, I was heavy into the
local Hip-Hop scene. Anyone from D-Town may remember such names as
Nemesis and Ron C. Whenever we’d hit the clubs, there was always this
one white boy out on the dance floor who not only held his own, but was
one of the best dancers in the city. Everyone knew him, and it was no
surprise when he transitioned to rapping. You could always catch him at
City Lights, where more often than not, national touring rap acts would
come to put on concerts. And 9 times out of 10, he would open for them.

Go back and look at old photos and videos of Ice, before he broke really
huge. He was rocking the Fila jump suits and fat dookie gold chains.
He had a ton of street cred, because he’d gone toe to toe with the
Brothas on the dance floor and everyone knew he could rock the house.
His rhyme skills were solid but not spectacular, but he was much more in
the mold of Will Smith and Hammer than Rakim or Chuck D, anyway. In
fact, true story: PE did a concert in Dallas, and went to the afterparty
at City Lights. Ice was onstage, and Chuck D was so impressed he wanted
to sign Ice, but Ice had just signed a deal.

Think about that for a sec. The Prophet of Rage himself wanted to sign
this Wigga. That should speak volumes about Ice’s origins.

Of course, we all know what followed, as a career that could have been
solid was quickly torpedoed by a label and manager who only cared about
the short money, trying to market him as the Elvis of Rap instead of
thinking long-term about what effect that would have on his longevity.
Makes you wonder what coulda been had Chuck gotten his hands on him.
Then again, I don’t feel sorry for him. The dude invested his money
wisely and laughed all the way to the bank.

Can’t help you with Snow, tho.

Michaelangelo McCullar
aka
The Boricua Bonecrusher

And there you have it folks. Opinions from everywhere except the horse’s mouth. Still sharp folks, though. I want to lay this horse to rest, so these will have to do.

Til the next moon phase…

Peace

Now go give daddy some more song plays.

OpenMikeEagle

Out.

Check me out!