The Monster Squad: A movie so good it isn’t on DVD.
Notable Cast Members: Andre Gower, Robby Kiger, Duncan Regehr, Ryan Lambert, Ashley Bank and Tom Noonan.
Director: Fred Dekker
Film Synopsis:
The smart alecks at their school, Sean Crenshaw and his friends idolize monsters. So much so, they spend their afternoons in a clubhouse talking about monsters and reading comics. One day Sean is given the diary of legendary vampire killer Abraham Van Helsing. (It’s amazing the things you can find at garage sales.) Sean is stoked about the diary, except for one problem. It’s in German. With the help of a neighborhood hermit, known only as “Scary German Guy” – a Jewish Holocaust survivor – the diary is translated into English.
And not a moment to soon.
Strange things start to happen around the neighborhood. A man shape shifts into a werewolf when the moon is full. But it’s not the only monster on the prowl. Dracula, along with his friend Frankenstein, is looking for an amulet in hopes to bring forth Armageddon. Sean and friends Patrick, Rudy, Horace & Eugene create The Monster Squad and have less than a week to prepare for the fight of a lifetime.
The key between life and death is told in the diary. The amulet is composed of concentrated good. One day out of every century, as the forces of good and evil are balanced, the amulet is vulnerable and can be destroyed. If the kids can find the amulet in time, they can use it in conjunction with an incantation written in Helsing’s diary to blow a hole in the universe and cast Dracula into limbo.
Van Helsing and others tried it a century ago in Transylvania. They blew it. Now it is time for The Monster Squad to show them how it’s done.
The Story Behind It:
When it arrived in theaters the summer of 1987, The Monster Squad came and went at the box office. All it had to show for itself was a menial $3 million dollars. The movie was all but forgotten until it started airing on HBO. With multiple airings, and word-of-mouth, it developed a cult following.
That’s how I discovered it. I used to have a VHS copy I taped off HBO, but I recycled it years ago. Then, I was in a mom-and-pop video store that was going out of business. As I was about to check out with copies of Airborne and Just One of the Guys in my hands, I noticed a copy of The Monster Squad sitting on the shelf. I snagged it up like it was Gollum’s “precious” and took it home. Boy was I stupid for recycling my taped-off-TV copy. The flick is pure nostalgia.
The movie has no recognizable stars, aside from Jason Hervey (big brother Wayne on The Wonder Years), Tom Noonan (the Ripper in Last Action Hero), and Jon Gries (Lazlo Hollyfeld in Real Genius). The lack of star power is part of the movie’s appeal.
Close to twenty years after its theatrical release, the jokes are as fresh as ever. Without it’s tongue-in-cheek sense of humor, The Monster Squad wouldn’t have nearly as many repeat viewings. Well, from me at least.
Consider a scene where Sean and his sister Phoebe get into an argument. She wants to join the club but the rules state “only boys allowed”. This makes way for a great dialogue exchange between big brother and little sis.
Phoebe: Mom says you have to let me in or else it’s prescription.
Sean: That’s discrimination jerkoid! Prescription is drugs, which you’re on if you think you’re getting in here.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to quotable dialogue. There’s more where that came from. This is due in large part to a script co-written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout) and director Fred Dekker. They were hip to the ways kids talked in the 1980’s.
What about the possibility of it ever being released on DVD?
Last week, two screenings of the movie were shown to packed audiences at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX. The event featured a Q&A session with the cast and the movie’s director. One of the questions asked was in regards to a DVD release.
Prior to the event Fred Dekker dug up the address for the rights holders and told the crowd if you want Monster Squad in a special edition with cast commentary, special features (including over 13 minutes of cut scenes) and digitally remastered picture and sound, then you need to write to the address below. “Keep it civil, but let them know how much you love the movie. Send a postcard, letter, brick, flowers…. anything that’ll show the studio you want to buy this DVD.” This is the address:
Mr. Sumner M. Redstone
Viacom
1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036
Think of it as writing your congressman. The only difference is that you’ll be getting something in return.
Until next time, SEE YOU LATER BAND AID BREATH!!!
