You Complete Bar Steward! (The Brandy Wars; Part 4)

You Complete Bar Steward! (The Brandy Wars; Part 4) 01.05.06

Welcome to this fortnights edition of You Complete Bar Steward, posted late and everything.

For the next couple of months (dubbed “The Brandy Wars”), we’re taking a look at some Brandy based Cocktails. You get Three Brandy-based Cocktails in each column, you lucky lucky people you.

This week, we take a look how to make a Sloe Brandy, a Vine and a Banana Bliss.

Sloe Brandy

Difficulty Rating: 1/5
Taste/s: Fruity

Ingredients
25ml Brandy
25ml Sloe Gin
25ml Squeezed Lemon Juice

Equipment
Brandy Glass

Instructions
Put a couple of cubes of ice into the glass, then mix the Brandy, Gin and Juice together. No messing about with your fancy shakers, Mr Cruise.

– – – – – – – –

A guy walks into a bar…

… sits down, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long – but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.” The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”

– – – – – – – –

Vine

Difficulty Rating: 1/5
Taste/s: Sweet, Fruity

Ingredients
25ml Brandy
25ml Apple Juice
25ml Grapefruit Juice
Dash Lemon Juice

Equipment
Champagne Flute
Shaker

Instructions
Pour all the ingredients into a Brandy glass, then sit back and enjoy the fruity tastes roll over your tongue.

– – – – – – – –

A woman in a bar…

… says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.”

The lady asks, “How do I do it without surgery?”

“Just rub toilet paper between them.”

Startled the lady asks, “How does that make them bigger?”

“I don’t know, but it worked for your ass.”

– – – – – – – –

Banana Bliss

Difficulty Rating: 1/5
Taste/s: Bananariffic!

Ingredients
25ml Brandy
25ml crème de banane

Equipment
Brandy Glass

Instructions
Pour all the ingredients into the Shaker and shake well with ice. Strain the contents into the glass.

Other…

I can’t stand Banana, but for those who like them give this a try.

– – – – – – – –

Last Orders…

That’s it again for this fortnight’s edition. Check back in two weeks time for three more Brandy Cocktails.

If you have any questions, queries, comments or general feedback, just drop me an email. Also, if you’ve tried a cocktail or drink that you liked (say, for example, when you were out on the piss one night) but can’t remember exactly what’s in it, give me a shout and I’ll try to find out what it’s called and what the correct ingredients are.

Until next time…

Cheers!

Danny Wallace.

Disclaimer: Any drinks you see on here are solely intended for your drinking pleasure. Danny Wallace, InsidePulse and any associated companies are in no way responsible for your actions once these drinks are consumed. That’s your own damn fault.