Saluti.
As always, if you have any questions about the show (background, history, etc.), or wish to share your opinions of a specific episode/character/plotline/etc, or if you vehemently disagree with one of my conclusions or opinions — please email me by clicking my name in the column title at the top of page. I’ll answer everything here in the column the next week.
First things first: if you aren’t familiar with The Sopranos, or if you need a refresher course on the history of the show (since it has been 21 months since the last episode), please read my column on the background of Tony Soprano. It concentrated on Tony’s character, but touches just about every large storyline that we’ve seen over the first 5 seasons. You should be able to find links to the recaps to the past few episodes at the bottom of the page.
Previously on The Sopranos:
- Chris goes to California to talk to Sir Ben Kingsley about a movie
- Corky the Heroin Addict sets up two visiting Italians for a hit on Rusty
- Phil thanks Tony for whacking Rusty, even though Tony denies having anything to do with it
- Artie has a hired a new hostess at Vesuvio’s, an Armenian girl named Martina, who takes a liking to Benny
- Some of the credit cards used at Vesuvio’s are involved in an identify theft scam
- Sir Ben Kingsley does his best to humor Christopher and Little Carmine, without even approaching a commitment for the movie
- Martina and Benny get exposed as the people involved in stealing credit card numbers from Vesuvio’s
- Artie confronts Benny, and pummels him on his own front porch
- Tony forces Benny to drop the matter, but Artie can’t resist provoking Benny on his next visit. In retaliation, Benny sticks his hand in a pot of boiling spaghetti sauce
- Tony suggests that if Christopher had been at home, taking care of his crew, the trouble with Benny and Artie wouldn’t have happened
Episode 73: Johnny Cakes:
Directed by: Tim Van Patten
Written by: Diane Frolov & Andrew Schneider
We start with a scene we haven’t gotten much of in the first five-and-a-half seasons: Tony and Carmela rutting. Carmela: “Are you okay?” Afterwards, they do a bit of cuddling, and Carmela reiterates that they are “blessed” to be where they are now. The sounds of drum playing starts up, which bring Tony out of his room: only to see 3 African-Americans leaving AJ’s room. AJ explains that they’re musicians, and interested in buying his drum set. Tony and Carmela aren’t crazy about the idea, since the drums were a gift from Tony, but AJ insists he needs the money (“I don’t wanna sell ’em, and if you guys hadn’t made me get such a crappy job, I wouldn’t have to.”)
Vito is still up in his B&B in Vermont, and hears some fire trucks going by. He decides to check out the fire, and sees the diner owner, Jim, drive up on his Harley, dressed in a volunteer fireman’s outfit. Jim manages to get a kid out of the burning house, which earns a round of applause from the spectators (including an obviously impressed Vito).
Tony and AJ go for a fishing trip on the Stugots II, and share a couple of beers and a few uncomfortable silences. (Yup – been there, done that. Probably in some of the same area too: I’ve pulled a few dozen flounder and weakfish from the Cape May Bay.) AJ asks about Uncle Junior, but Tony is happy to let it go: “He’s incarcerated for the rest of his unnatural life. So f*ck him – he’s a walking corpse.” AJ presses the subject, and Tony insists that it’s not AJ’s business.
Patsy and Burt are out making collections from the neighborhood businesses (your basic extortion fees), but run into a little trouble with the new Starbuck-esque coffee shop. Despite their most persuasive sales pitch (“What if, God forbid, it wasn’t just vandalism? What if an employee, even a manager say, was assaulted?”), they are unable to get a payment from this store: due mostly to the fact that every single financial transaction is tracked by computer, and run out of their central headquarters. Patsy: “It’s over for the little guy.”
We learn a couple of things about Vito’s stay in Vermont: A) he’s going under the name “Vince” (ooh, how stunningly original), B) he’s telling everyone that he’s come up here to write a book about Rocky Marciano, and C) the breakfast conversation among his fellow visitors at the B&B cover such exciting topics as the pre-rinse cycle on new dishwashers (pinch me).
Silvio is sitting outside Satriale’s with Tony and Christopher, giving an update on the search of Vito. Christopher suggests that, if Vito ever came back, Carlo should take care of the hit — Chris insists that he just has too much on his plate to handle it himself. The boys get a bit distracted when an attractive brunette in a leather skirt crosses the street (oh hell – how could I have not realized in last week’s preview that it was Julianna Margulies?). Tony goes into a bit of detail concerning his sex drive since he recovered from the surgery: “I got a bagette in my pants now 24/7”. The woman introduces herself to Tony as Julianna Skiff, from Century 21. It turns out she represents Jamba Juice, and is trying to buy a poultry store in the neighborhood that belongs to Tony. She offers $175/sq ft (the store is 1,800 sq. ft. (that’s $315,000 for the math-phobic)). Tony insists that he’s not interested in selling, since “His eggs taste 10 times better than any of the ones you get in the supermarket”, and “it would be a real loss for the neighborhood”. Julianna happens to know that Tony actually lives in North Caldwell, but Tony explains about his family’s history there.
Vito waddles into Jim’s diner, and orders his usual Johnny Cakes. They talk about the book a bit, with an older customer throwing in an occasion comment (“Marciano! Now that was a tragic death.”), much to Vito’s annoyance. Jim admits that he looked up Marciano on the Internet after Vito said he was writing the book, and gently pats Vito’s hand: “Maybe you’re working too hard.” We’re interrupted by the arrival of… Jim’s daughter? Well, okay — Vito has two kids, and we know that doesn’t mean a damn thing.
Tony take a walk through the old neighborhood, and stops to have a chat with Mrs. Conti, an old woman sitting out on the sidewalk on her folding chair. Mrs. Conti asks for Tony’s help in getting some Puerto Rican girls to stop playing music so loudly, but makes the mistake of asking: “How’s Junior? Tell him I said hello.”
Tony takes a quick sidetrip to the poultry store, and talks to the owner a bit: “How’s your business?” “Believe it or not, better than ever”. Whoops – not the answer he was looking for.
AJ and a fellow Blockbuster employee are deeply into a conversation about proper knife-fighting technique when they get interrupted by a customer who actually expects to get waited on. (Of all the nerve – can you imagine? By the way, AJ was right – holding the knife blade up against your forearm is the recognized better method.) AJ takes a call on his cell from someone called Harnon, which he’s obviously proud of: he practically announces the guy’s name across the store. It turns out Harnon went to the same high school, but was in a higher grade (and apparently, was quite a dick back in school).
We make our first visit this week to Jennifer Melfi’s office, where Tony is in the midst of complaining about his only son. Melfi asks if Tony can “empathize” with AJ: “These are different times. Young people today are bombarded with so much information, so much input of any kind. Consequently, true adult is… delayed. Sociologists say that 26 is the new 21.” (Oh hell – I have two boys: 4 years and 20 months old. I am so not going to be able to handle their teens and early 20’s – especially if they are ANYTHING like me. Crap.) Tony: “And the new 26 is.. what? I’m 46 – so that means I’m what, 35?”
We then switch to the office of Jennifer’s therapist, Dr. Elliot Kupferberg. The good doctor makes a not-very-subtle transition to asking about Tony, and Jennifer calls him out on it: “Why don’t you just admit he’s a gangster, he was gunned down, and you’re into it on a tabloid level.” She also mentions that she feels it’s just a matter of time before Tony “decompensates” because of the shooting: “This isn’t omerta. It’s something else.”
AJ does indeed sell his drum set, which Tony looks to be very unpleased about. But, it gets AJ enough cash to go out club-hopping with Harnon – who seems to enjoy bragging to girls about AJ’s father. “His dad’s really a gangster?” “Capo di tutti capi.” “What’s that mean?” Then, just in case we aren’t sure how much of a slimeball this guy is, he asks the two girls he’s talking with how old they are. One turns out to be 15, the other 18. Guess which one he chooses? (Yup. Icky.) AJ gets stuck with the bill: check out the price tag below. I hope he got good money for his drums.
Tony and Phil meet again, and the subject is the search for Vito – again. “What do you want me to do, put out an APB on the guy ’cause he takes it up the ass? It’s a victimless crime!” Phil keeps pushing the subject, bringing up the fact that this conversation wouldn’t have been needed back in Tony’s father’s day, and also the fact that Tony’s cousin killed Phil’s brother. The tension gets high – to put it mildly.
AJ is back at Harnon’s place, getting a backrub from a cute little blonde. She asks him about his dad plans to do about Junior. “I’ll probably have to do something.” “Really? You’re so intense.” Sadly enough, that sentence probably aroused him more than the backrub.
Vito steals a cell phone from one of the other B&B guests, and uses it to call his wife. She pleads with him to come home: “I’ve been reading online. There are these church groups – they can cure you of this!” Vito tells her where to find some cash he hid in the house, and talks to his son briefly before hanging up.
Tony is enjoying the view at The Bada Bing when Julianna pays a visit. “How did you know to find me here?” “I’m a real estate agent.” She tells him that Jamba Juice upped their offer to $225/sq ft. After talking about how he likes the fact that the neighborhood still has an identity, Tony asks if she wants to go get dinner with him. She declines, due to being engaged. He presses the subject, noting his wedding ring. He presses it a bit more, saying how getting shot convinced him to enjoy as much of life as he can. She obviously thinks it over, but: “I think, for once in my life, I will exercise a little self-control.”
Vito sends over a pitcher of beer to a table where Jim and his fellow volunteer firefighters are sitting. Jim invites him over: “He’s a very funny guy – great sense of humor.” An amusing conversation takes place: apparently, homosexuality runs rampant in Vermont fire companies. Hey – who knew?
Outside, Vito admires Jim’s Harley, and Jim talks about riding through the area when the leaves are changing. We get a tender moment: “Y’know, I’m glad you decided to write your book in our little town.” Jim leans in for a kiss, but Vito pushes him off, calling him a “fag”. “Listen closet queen – if you can’t handle it, don’t send out the signals.” Vito punches him, but Jim gets the better of the fight and rides off.
Back at home, Tony tells Carmela how lucky he is to have her. AJ comes downstairs and asks his parents for money in order to buy new clothes. Tony says no, and Carmela says she’s disappointed in his lack of motivation. AJ insists that he’s going out to the clubs in order to “learn” – he’s interested in running one himself. He even asks Tony to stake him in his own club, which gets shot down immediately. After AJ stomps off, Tony floats the idea of actually helping him, until Carmela points out that he’s not even legal drinking age. (Didn’t stop him from getting the Cristal, however.)
Back in Melfi’s office, Tony complains how the arguments at home are killing his libido. “Honestly, no one can blame a man for seeking an extracurricular outlet in a situation like this.” He quickly denies actually doing so, and insists he wouldn’t betray Carmela after everything she’s done for him recently. Tony asks for “practical advice” about AJ, and Melfi insists that he and Carmela need to be unified in their message to him. Of course, in the very next scene, Carmela gives AJ cash for clothes – which she insists should be for work clothes or a suit. HA.
Vito walks by the diner with a pizza in hand, and exchanges a quick look with Jim.
AJ is back clubbing, wearing new clothes, and snorting a quick couple hits of coke in the bathroom. (Good to see that money went to good use.) He gets introduced to a couple of guys who are trying to launch a new energy drink. They suggest giving AJ a prospectus, which he’s excited by: until they point out that it would be for his father to check out. His mood takes a sour turn immediately.
Carmela manages to drag AJ out of bed at the crack of noon, despite him asking her the night before to wake him at 10am. Four hours later, he’s watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force, when his mother again bugs him: “I got the impression you had something important to do.” We start to get an idea of what that is when we see a large hunting knife in his bureau.
And that belief gets confirmed quickly: AJ goes to visit Junior in the sanitarium. However, being AJ, he screws up – the knife falls out of his hand before he gets within 15 feet of Junior (who thinks he’s Tony), and clanks on the ground. AJ tries to run for it, but gets subdued by the staff before he can get through the door.
Tony picks AJ up at the police station, where (luckily for AJ) things have already been arranged for his release. When they get back to the car, Tony completely loses it on him: “You realize what coulda happened to you, if we didn’t have connections? Some cop goes by the book, and they charge you with attempted murder!” After calming down a bit, Tony tries to convince AJ that this isn’t in his nature: “You’re a nice guy! And that’s a good thing, for chrissakes.” In further evidence of his inability to grasp reality, AJ talks about the scene in “Godfather” where Michael Corleone shoots Sollozzo and McCluskey, who had conspired to kill Michael’s father; and how Tony always calls it his favorite scene of all time. Tony has the same reaction I did: “It’s a movie. You gotta grow up.” And just before they drive away: “First of all, your mother does not find out about this.”
Out front of Satriale’s, Tony gets a call from Julianna: the offer has now gone to $275/sq ft, $494,000. After giving a quick wave to Mrs. Conti, Tony accepts. He also suggests signing the paper’s at her apartment that evening – which she, surprisingly, accepts. The look on her face after she hangs up lets us know that she realizes that was a mistake too.
Vito finally works up the nerve to walk back into Jim’s diner and order a tall stack of Johnny Cakes. “Sometimes you tell a lie so long, you don’t know when to stop. You don’t know when it’s safe.”
Tony gets ready to head out for a “real estate thing”, and Carmela gets dressed. He fixates for a bit on her hands, as they are buttoning up his shirt. (Yes, he’s getting dressed up to go cheat on her. Gee, wonder why he might be feeling conflicted.)
Jim and Vito go for a ride in the countryside, and grab a little picnic next to a lake, complete with a shirtless make-out session (thankfully, Vito doesn’t get shirtless on screen).
Back to the club, where a new member of the little clique asks AJ to see if his father can help out trying to get his apartment deposit back. AJ agrees, but seems rather bothered by it: we see the tell-tale signs of a forthcoming panic attack.
Tony shows up to Julianna’s place with a bottle of champagne. They go through the contract, with Tony signing in about a twenty places (actually, I’ve closed on 3 houses – they probably cut that scene extremely short). Right after the last signature, they wait about two seconds before jumping each other. Julianna climbs on top, and starts to unbutton Tony’s shirt. However, he stops her, asks if they’re done signing, and simply walks out. (On the first viewing, I thought he was worried about her exposing his surgery scar. On the second, it became obvious they were juxtaposing that with Carmela buttoning his shirt while he was getting ready.)
AJ makes it to the bathroom, splashes a little water on his face… and promptly passes out. The two energy juice guys walk in, and one of them turns out to be a doctor (well, at least he says he is). Dr. Energy gives him a quick examination: How do you feel? Heart racing. Any drugs? No. “Do you have a history of panic attacks?”
Tony is back home, ranting in the kitchen about not being able to find any smoked turkey. Carmela seems a bit shocked at his sudden mood swing. Well, Carm – when the big guy doesn’t get laid, he doesn’t take it well.
Patsy and Burt are back on collection, this time at the poultry shop. “Ya hear? Goddamn juice place moving in here.” Patsy: “What Jews?” They walk outside, and Patsy gives a dejected look around him: “What da f*ck is happening to this neighborhood?”
Cue credits.
What did we learn this week?
– Much like Meadow, AJ is probably going to have the rest of his life defined by what his father does.
– A bottle of Cristal in New York City costs $625. By comparison, Grey Goose is a bargain at $325.
– Julianna Margulies is still pretty hot.
– AJ apparently doesn’t own a gun. How he thought he could get away with stabbing Junior in the middle of a crowded room is beyond me.
– Gangsters worry about gentrification too.
Next week on the Sopranos:
- There’s some kind of Italian Festival going on at the local church
- Paulie appears to be trying to collect money from a Catholic Priest. Tony is quite displeased.
- Tony and Christopher do a little bonding.
- Christopher is involved in a car chase, with some shooting.
- Bobby and Paulie have a serious issue about owing money.
- “Some secrets don’t stay buried.”
