Welcome back to ringside folks. This week I look at Samoa Joe in the Main Event, ECW’s affect on TNA, how much of a bitch Barry Melrose is, and whatever else I feel like talking about. So lets get to it.
News & Shit
Thursday Night iMPACT! Rating: 0.8….1.0….0.8
Make up my f*cking mind. Here’s my solution, we average the two ratings and come out with a nice little 0.9, problem solved. Honestly though, even with the great UFC lead in, this time slot sucks. I thought it wouldn’t be so bad but with work and school, I can hardly make it to midnight on Thursday to catch the entire show. How come SpikeTV couldn’t put TUF3 on at 9 and TNA on at 10? Was that extra little UFC Unleashed really that important? Still, these are solid ratings and once TUF3 ends, TNA will get that 9 o’clock timeslot they should have had all along.
Chavo Guerrero at TNA Tapings…or was he?
So in another “give me the f*cking facts” report, it was stated that Chavo was at the latest TNA tapings and then stated that he was only in Orlando. Once again, GIVE ME THE FUCKING FACTS. Honestly, how credible would we here at The Pulse be if we started a bunch of rumors and passed them off as news items? Wait…we have a person who does this? For shame InsidePule, for shame.
TNAWrestlingNews.Com are dumb f*cks
This is news worthy in my book so I’m running with it. When you think of getting your wrestling news, where do you go? PWInsider and InsidePulse should be your main sources and if they’re not, you suck. Well I sometimes head over to TNAWrestlingNews because they do strictly TNA news. Well lets take a look at some of their news items:
TNA has no plans to use Buff Bagwell or Lex Luger as wrestlers, as they were merely brought in for the Sting/Jarrett angle.
First off, in the header, they spelled it as “Bugg Bagwell”. How f*ckin credible does that make you when you can’t get the wrestlers name right? We all make typing mistakes or “typos” as some people like to say, but an editor should really look that shit over and it should be fixed within minutes. Anyway, what news did they really deliver? We all read the Impact spoilers, we know they don’t even throw a punch in the angle, so why would they wrestle at a near PPV? If they did wrestle, whether it be each other or AJ Fuckin Styles, it would cause a riot at the Impact Zone, and not in a good way.
Juvetund Guerrera has also made himself available to TNA, however, he still has heat for injuring Jerry Lynn.
That was posted on 5/3 at 11:35 AM
Juventud Guerrera has also made himself available to TNA, however, he still has heat for injuring Jerry Lynn.
That was posted on 5/4 at 10:26 AM
So along with misspelling the wrestlers name different in each post, they posted it twice, within 24 hours of one another. Did they not get their point across the first time? The first headline read “Juvetund Guerrera’s Status” while the second headline read “Juventud Guerrera Still Trying For TNA Job”. Once again, they spell the workers name different in each post.
Those are just some examples of their mistakes, trust me when I tell you that there’s many more. Honestly, how can I take these guys seriously? They want to be the “legit” TNA News Source but their news isn’t legit. Sure we have GRUT news, but only a retard would take those posts seriously and finds no humor in them. If DoubleM posted stupid shit like “TNA is currently in talks with Goldburg joining the company and putting Samoan Joe over”. Would you take him seriously? First off, he spelled both workers names wrong and then he posted something that no internet fan believes, Goldberg signing just to job. Fuck TNAWrestlingNews.Com.
WWECW vs. TNA
So with ECW coming back, everyone speculates that WWE just did this to compete with TNA and burry them. I don’t know what stupid f*cks think that, but they really are stupid f*cks. WWE brought back ECW because for these reasons and these reasons only:
1. They wanted to put OVW on the map so they changed the name OVW to ECW so people could recognize them as being legit.
2. They had no room for the jobbers that will never get a push (former ECW talent) so they re-created ECW in order to give these jobbers something to do until they are the result of “budget cuts”.
3. Vince McMahon wants to make money and based on the DVD sales (and not the PPV Buyrate), ECW makes money.
That’s it, that’s the list. You can make all the comparisons between ECW and TNA that you want but you’re wasting your time. Even if WWECW takes Sabu and/or Rhino from TNA, it’s no big loss and it actually helps TNA. TNA has been booking for months now without Sabu and the jumbled up mid-card/main event in TNA could use a cut or two. Unless WWECW starts stealing talent that matters to TNA, then call me. Also, WWECW needs to build around the younger guys that aren’t known ECW stars (like CM Punk, rumored to get a nice push) because if they think guys like Sandman, Sabu, Funk, Dreamer, and others can carry that company past one year, they’re a little DEE DEE DEE. So please, stop with the stupid comparisons between the company (TNA) and the brand (ECW).
Samoa Joe & The Main Event
So unless you’re one of those people who don’t read the spoilers then you’ll know that Samoa Joe is in the Main Event (pending they go with the Tag Match and not The World Title Match as the Main Event) at the next TNA PPV, Sacrifice. So what in the hell does that mean for the main event? Simple, it makes the main event work rate and average age increase and decrease.
We may have all considered Sting, Steiner, and Jarrett a good worker at one point or another while being wrestling fans, but at this moment, I think we all agree that none of those 3 can go past the 30 minute mark in an entertaining match. Fuck the 30 minute mark, Samoa Joe can go the one hour mark and then some. Joe increases the work rate of the main event drastically and allows for a decent tag team match at the PPV. It’s a pretty simple formula for TNA, if they chose to accept: Joe starts off the match and dominates, Sting comes in, hits his normal shit, but then gives the heels the rub, Sting makes the hot tag to Joe, the crowd goes wild, Joe goes back to dominating. It follows basic tag team formula and keeps Joe strong.
Furthermore, putting Joe in the main event (and AJ/Daniels in the tag division) allows for more room in the X Division, the only problem is that Joe has killed everyone in the X Division and still has the X Division title. Of course, Joe isn’t going to lose cleanly to some X Division guy that he’s already beat, which means they’ve got to take the belt off of him via triple threat/gimmick match. That’s all fine and dandy, as long as the belt doesn’t go back to AJ or Daniels (fun fact: Ever since January 2005 the only men to hold the X Division title have been AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Samoa Joe). It would be in TNA’s best interest to hold a triple threat match with Joe vs. Sabin vs. Shelley and have Shelley winning the belt by pinning Sabin. Why is that the best move? Because Alex Shelley owns everyone else in the division and could carry the win and the belt a long way. It continues to keep Joe strong, undefeated, and in the Main Event.
Finally, Joe in the main event ushers in what TNA should have been doing all along: pushing the good workers even though they are unknown on a national level. Sorry TNA and ROH marks, we know who these guys are but casual wrestling fans don’t. You put Joe in the Main Event and have him go over known guys like Sting, Steiner, and Jarrett, then Joe becomes known. You see how that works?
So can TNA screw this up? Of course they can and based on previous booking, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. They could screw this up by putting Steiner, Sting, or Jarrett over Joe. That’s pretty much the only way they could screw it up but would you put it past TNA to do something like this? I could see Jarrett’s ego getting the best of him and he would be the one to get the first win over Joe. I don’t think Sting is ego driven this time around and he would probably shoot the idea down. As for Steiner, he’ll screw up a suplex on Joe, Joe will kill him, and Joe won’t be forced to job. This is pretty much the only way TNA could screw this up and if they do screw this up, I will bash them every chance I get.
So….Will TNA Prove Me Right?
I quote myself from last week:
“Also this new Authority Figure has potential if TNA can deliver. Bischoff and Russo seem to be the most qualified to fill this spot but I don’t think it will be either of them. For some reason I have a feeling that Kevin Nash will be the new Authority Figure and that would be a horrible mistake. TNA needs to bring in somebody that can’t wrestle and can play a good heel. Nash…well…he can’t really wrestle although he tries and he can only play a comedy heel. He’s pretty much useless. TNA needs to bring in some one that nobody is expecting, then it will be a successful storyline.”
Of course, that was typed well before Impact went on air last week. If you watched Impact last week, you saw that Alex Shelley will interview Kevin Nash this week on Impact. Does this mean that Kevin Nash will be the new Authority Figure in TNA? No, but it’s a pretty good sign that Nash will be back in the company and the Authority Figure is the best role for him. Maybe I’m having the same affect on TNA as Eric does on WWE. We say the best idea possible and the company goes with the worst idea possible. Please, don’t give Kevin Nash this new Authority Role because you know what’s going to happen? He’s going to get the wrestling bug again, feel he and Jarrett still have an unsettled issue, think that he and Jarrett will draw money, and f*ck TNA over once again. Release Kevin Nash from the roster, free up money, and hire Eric Bischoff when his contract runs out in a month or so.
Also last week, we learned that AJ & Daniels will once again get to job to AMW. Somebody please tell me why Team 3-D has yet to face AMW after that horrible booking at Final Resolution? Instead Team 3-D moved on to a pointless feud with Team Canada and now they’re moving on to a pointless feud with The James Gang. So what does AMW get to do? Beat a thrown together tag team who should be in the main event slot over Jarrett and Steiner. There’s no doubt that these 4 men will produce a great match, they’re that f*cking good but it’s pointless. Unless TNA is planning on making the title switch to AJ and Daniels, what’s the point? And even if they do make the title switch, will they go with a face vs. face match at Slammiversary? TNA has a lot of potential in the tag team division if they could just get their shit together. Look at the possible teams they could have:
*America’s Most Wanted
*Team 3-D
*Team Canada
*The James Gang
*The Naturals
*Styles & Daniels
*LAX (Boot Hernandez, replace with Low Ki)
*Aries & Strong
*Diamonds In The Rough
*Sabin & Dutt
Now Sabin & Dutt and AJ & Daniels may be a stretch but they have both teamed on a certain basis, whether it is consistent or not. That’s a total of 10 tag teams aka 9 more than WWE has. That’s a solid tag team division with a good mixture of diversity that could produce a lot of great matches. The weakest team on that list is the James Gang and all though they are stale; they know how to work a tag match. You would think TNA can’t screw this up, but of course, they already have.
YouTube Match Of The Week
Since everyone is on the Scott Steiner bashing train (including me), I figure I would give you a video of when Scott Steiner was actually good…seriously.
Match: Chris Benoit & Jushin Liger vs. The Steiner Brothers
Event: Somewhere In Japan
Rating: ****
Plugs
Hyatt returns and everyone rejoices.
Hevia searches the internet
Eric talks Backlash and of course, doesn’t like it.
Vinny tells us that God vs. McMahon is the dumbest shit you’ll ever watch.
Gordi takes a break for the time being. Enjoy the vacation.
At Rinkside
Fuck Barry Melrose. If you don’t know who Barry Melrose is, here’s like the Meltzer of Hockey. Which means he thinks he knows everything but in the end, he looks like a little bitch because he’s wrong. Melrose is a guy who thinks that the hockey team with the most talent always wins. Then when he’s wrong, he makes excuses on why the team he picked lost, instead of why the team he didn’t pick won. Of course, everyone thinks Barry Melrose is a hockey god because he’s the only person that ESPN has to cover hockey, and we all know that ESPN dominates the sports world. ESPN are f*cks for keeping him and he is a f*ck because that’s how he rolls.
Would I be this upset if he didn’t say “The Avalanche have no chance against the more talented Dallas Stars. The Avs will be lucky to make it to 5 games against Dallas”? Probably not but the Avs did make it to a 5th game against Dallas and in that 5th game, they clinched the series and are in the second round while Dallas (The team Melrose picked to win the Stanley Cup) is crying about how they got owned by the better team and how their superstar regular season goalie, can’t find his jock when he plays the Avs in the playoffs. Melrose is the same bitch that thought the Avs couldn’t survive in the West after they lost Adam Foote (didn’t make the playoffs) and Peter Forsberg (out in 6 games in the playoffs) to free agency. Furthermore, Melrose claimed that the only way Edmonton would beat Detroit in round one is if “The entire Detroit locker room become suddenly ill and had to forfeit the games”. Well they didn’t forfeit the games but I bet they got sick of Chris Pronger and Dwayne Roloson owning them all series.
Here’s an idea for Barry Melrose, realize he’s a hockey analyst and not a basketball analyst. In basketball, one man, one star, can more or less carry a team in the playoffs. Sure there’s role players but if you’ve got that one key guy, you’ll be in the second round at worst. Look at Kobe and LeBron, they have nobody around them yet unless they choke away the series, they’ll be in the second round. Hockey is a team game where one man can’t do it all, if that was the case, The Penguins (Sidney Crosby) and The Capitals (Alexander Ovechkin) would still be playing right now.
If Barry Melrose would own up and admit, “I was wrong, The Avs and The Oilers out played the higher seeds and they are moving on”, I wouldn’t have a problem with him. Instead, he makes excuses and claims he knew what would happen all along.
The End
That’s all for this week folks. Next week I return with more TNA talk and possibly more hockey talk since God knows nobody else talks hockey here at IP (no offense Omar, but 1 column a month isn’t cutting it). Drop me a line at AMPLine4Life@aol.com and join me next time, At Ringside.
