Recap of Mark Henry taking out Kurt Angle last week. Kinda stupid to have Kurt Angle cash in his rematch clause while he’s in the King Of The Ring Tournament, don’t you think?
Rey Mysterio kicks us off tonight with a different version, and better, of Boo..aya…ka… His song. And Michael Cole announces that JBL verses Rey Mysterio has been signed for the World Heavy Weight Championship. Eddie chant. Mysterio says that being the Champion is a gift and that he is loving every minute of it, and goes to speak about ho he knew it was all over when he was in the anklelock, but JBL’s music thankfully hits. JBL congratulates him and tells him it’s not over yet; You Suck Chant, and a Miss Cleo reference! Cool. Usual JBL verbal self-blow, before calling Mysterio a masked illegal immigrant. Er, right. Some people went on strike in America on Monday apprently, and JBL agrees with their cause – Eddie chant – before JBL mentions that they either chant his name, or Eddie’s, and that they won’t cheer Mysterio’s. JBL goes on about illegal immigrants a bit more and that he actually does respect his culture. Mysterio thinks JBL is calling his people dogs, before JBL says “I’m not calling your people dogs. I’m calling you Mexicans” – ouch. One thing leads to another in a bit of a not at all coherent promo, with some things seemingly coming up at random or I possibly missed things, before JBL announces Mark Henry verses Rey Mysterio for tonight. Stare off between Henry and Mysterio leads us into a commercial. What a boring way to spend ten minutes of my life.
Commercials. In other news Jazz has been resigned, FINALLY! I didn’t really like her, but she’d always make a great addition to One Night Stand 2 if they decide to throw Mickie James in there in a Women’s Match.
Tonight: Chris Benoit verses Fit Finlay in the final opening round tournament match.
Sharmell makes her way out and introduces Booker T. She shouldn’t wear blue eye shadow, and should keep the gloves. They make sure to have a moment with the King Of The Ring scenery, and Booker T has automatically advanced into the finals for Judgment Day! Sweet, that always works out better.
Opening Contest: Booker T with Sharmell verses Gunner Scott
Has it really been three weeks since Gunner Scott’s debut? Wow, this is going really quick. Lock up and Scott gets the better of Booker, taking him into the corner only to be forced off of Booker, before shoving him back into the corner. Headlock applied by Booker – irish whip moment leads into Scott nailing a drop toe hold. Booker goes behind with a hammerlock which Scott reverses with one of his own but Booker nails an elbow to escape. Chops by Booker in the corner, teamed with a few punches, before Scott nails chops and punches of his own before irish whipping Booker, but Booker sends him into the ropes and picks him up in a spinebuster and drops him throat first onto the ropes. Back in the corner Booker continues the chops, before nailing a snapmare and locking in a rear choke hold to which Scott reverses with elbows, off the ropes into a kick to the gut, Booker off the ropes but Scott elbows him in the throat. Punches by Scott and off the ropes, ducks the axe kick and nails a forearm! Headbutt, kick to the gut, and a pair of suplexs by Scott for a two count. Short arm hook kick by Booker. Scott reverses a Scoop Slam with a reverse bearhug, taking Booker into the ropes and down in a package with bridge for a two count. Elbows by Scott, Booker reverses the whip and grabs the referee and Sharmell tries to trip Scott but Scott scares her off! Superkick by Booker! Kick to the gut, Scissors Kick gets Booker the victory.
Winner: Booker T
Post match Booker T gets on the microphone and says it’s a pity that Angle is gone. Meanwhile the match was good but not really any form of climatic or anything. Rather simple match, but I can really see why Scott was OVW Champion, and I think I see a future Chris Benoit in him as well. Four out of Ten, simple but effective.
Coming up next: Tag Team Championship: Brian Kendrick and Paul London verses MNM!
Commercials. In other news Chad Toland was gay. Good for him.
Rumors are Jillian Hall has challenged Melina to a match at Judgment Day.
Second Contest: Paul London and Brian Kendrick verses MNM (Champions) with Melina
Melina makes the entrance by herself and MNM attack from behind, nailing both challengers with the Snapshot. More snapshots and MNM finally celebrate a successful title defence, even though it doesn’t happen.
Winners: No Match
No Match, just a perve fest. Which is always a good thing. So I suppose we have our first N/A.
Still to come: Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry, and Chris Benoit verses Fit Finlay.
Commercials. In others news JR will return to the RAW Announcer’s booth this Monday once he has finished his Irony 101 homework. Joey Styles handed in his homework on time last week to WWE Creative, and was therefore able to read it to the entire class.
Tatanka video. Boring.
Backstage, Theodore Long tells The Great Khali that Undertaker has challenged him to a match at Judgment Day and Khali signs the contract.
Commercials. In other news Orlando Jordan isn’t going bi no more. His hair will continue to enduce sickness all over the world.
Third Contest: King Of The Ring Opening Round: Chris Benoit verses Finlay
Keep in mind we are now a good fifty minutes into the show. Circling to start before Finlay takes Benoit to the ropes with a lock up, and Benoit takes Finlay to the corner. More circling leads to Finlay taking Benoit to the corner in a lock up before being forced off by the referee. Test of strength lock up which Benoit turns into a wristlock, two count, before Benoit locks in the headlock, but Finlay takes it into a package for a two, Benoit keeping the headlock locked. Benoit turns the headlock into an armbar attempt for a second but Finlay takes him down and works the knee with Benoit forcing him off by the neck and the two trying to out strength each other – Finlay using his arms and Benoit using his legs – before Benoit locks an armbar, before Finlay gets the upper hand and blatantly chokes Benoit for a second or two, before beginning to work the wrist. Benoit forces Finlay off of him with forearms and looks to be trying for the Crossface already, but Finlay quickly gets to the ropes. Back to their feet takes us into a face to face staredown – Short Arm Clothesline by Finlay, out of nowhere. Finlay with a headbutt. In the corner Finlay ducks the chop and escpaes the corner, before the two begin to circle yet again. Finlay tripped by Benoit who works the Ankle before getting a legdrop to the thigh and locking in a deathlock variation, but Finlay eventually gets to the ropes. Forearms by Benoit takes Finlay to the corner but Finlay gets an eyepoke and sends Benoit shoulder first into the steel pole! Finlay takes Benoit down using the arm and locks in an armbar but Benoit gets to his feet and goes for the Sharpshooter but Finlay rolls out of the ring, Benoit tries to follow but Finlay gets an elbow to the face and pushes Benoit onto the apron, choking him with the curtain and clubbing away! Back in the ring Finlay gets an armbar in again, even getting the fingers a bit in a nice touch, before picking him arm for a few short arm shoulderblocks – Benoit trips Finlay and sets up for the Sharpshooter! Finlay gets Benoit off of him and clubs away on him! Kick right to the head by Finlay, before Finlay drops a knee for a two count. I believe both men are busted now – Finlay with a slight gash near his eye and Benoit right on his scalp. Uppercut by Finlay, before he drops an elbow for a two count. Elbows right to the face by Finlay, Finlay goes to capitalize but Benoit suddenly hooks Finlay’s arm for the Crossface! Benoit can’t hook his arm under his leg and Finlay rolls him over and begins clubbing away at Benoit, with the referee forcing him off because Benoit’s foot is on the ropes. Finlay goes for a short arm clothesline but Benoit ducks and nails a German! Chops to the chest by Benoit send Finlay outside, who throws Chimmel off of his chair and begins throwing chairs all around!
Commercials. In other news Daniel Puder was supposed to dethrone Kurt Angle of the Gold Medals. Daniel Puder. What a douche.
We’re back and Benoit is chopping Finlay in the corner. Elbow drop by Benoit is followed by a snap suplex for two, and another two. More chops in the corner, before Finlay stumbles to the other corner and reverses a Benoit irish whip, sending him into the opposite turnbuckles for a two count. Rear choke hold by Finlay is applied before Benoit tackles Finlay into the corner but stumbles back and allows Finlay to nail a clothesline and reapply the rear choke hold, but Benoit nails a jawbreaker but is quickly tripped down by Finlay, who locks on a sleeper hold on the canvas. Benoit begins to escape with punches to the gut but Finlay knocks him down good and proper. Finlay sends Benoit into the corner and charges after, but Benoit moves just in time and Finlay goes shoulder first into the steel pole! Triple Germans! Swandive Headbutt misses! Finlay grabs the Shaleleigh! Finlay goes to use it but Benoit flips him over the top rope! Finlay on the apron and is knocked off by Benoit, who grabs the Shaleleigh! The referee grabs the Shaleleigh off of Benoit and puts it back – allowing Finlay to nail a chair to the throat of Benoit! Emerald Fusion and it’s over!
Winner And Advancing Into Semi-Finals: Finlay
For you fans of technical wrestling and the wrestling part of wrestling, watch this baby. Ten out of Ten. And close to a perfect ten even by Pay Per View standards.
Finlay and Lashley next week!
Still to come: Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry
Commercials
Video recap of the Mick Foley verses Edge match at WrestleMania, with a rematch scheduled for this week’s RAW.
Fourth Contest: The Gymini verses Scotty Too Hotty and Funaki
Wow .. THIS is above Benoit/Finlay?! THIS is on SmackDown? If you think the floor is cold, that’s because hell has frozen over. Tonight’s G1 and Funaki start off. G1 with a knee to the gut before he places Funaki on the top rope and G2 pulls him off down onto the mats below by the hair. G1 sets Funaki up on the apron and clubs him. Back in the ring G1 nails Funaki with a few punches, sending him head first into the turnbuckles. Funaki ducks a punch and nails one of his own but G1 pushes him halfway across the ring! G1 with the headlock knees and tags out to G2. Off the ropes and Funaki comes back into a double team shoulder block. G2 sends Funaki into the corner for the stomps, drag / throws him back into the middle of the ring and nails a few elbow drops before locking on a rear choke hold, and as Funaki starts a comeback he simply slams him back down. Double arm suplex by G2. G2 talks down to Funaki, who nails a rather pansy looking knee (but G2 sells like any good wrestler should – like it hurt) and Funaki tags out to Hotty. Hotty rolls in the ring by sliding under G2, before nailing some punches. Hotty irish whipped into the corner before Hotty gets sent back into the corner by a G2 spinebuster. Not very flowing C-4 by G2, which pales in comparison to Burchill’s, before he tags out to G1. Hotty thrown up in the air and slammed back down for the victory.
Winners: The Gymini
The only redeeming factor about this match is that it built the Gymini up as a tag team – a monster tag team – that can work as a legitimate unit. But they’ve been doing that for about four months already. How long until we get to something new with these guys? -Three out of Ten.
See No Evil commercial. Kane’s character is called, brace yourself, Jacob Goodnight … Fuck. And the Australian accent isn’t usually as strong as the blonde chick’s, if she even is Australian.
Bobby Lashley walks into Booker T and Sharmell’s locker room. You can tell what happens, threats are exchanged and Lashley tells Booker that he will defeat Finlay and then defeat Booker at Judgment Day. You know, the usual.
Up next: Kid Kash verses Nunzio verses Super Crazy in a Three Way Number One Contendership Match for Gregory Helms at Judgment Day!
Commercials
Fifth Contest: Number One Contendership For The Cruiser Weight Championship: Kid Kash verses Nunzio with Vito verses Super Crazy
Kash and Nunzio attack Crazy to start and send him into the ropes, Crazy ducks a Double Clothesline and sets himself up on the ropes and dropkicks Nunzio, for a one count. Headbutts by Kash is followed by clubs, Backdrop reversed by Crazy and Kash off the ropes into a dropkick by Crazy. Nunzio with a knee to the gut of Crazy and nails the Scilian Slice for a two count. Scoop slam attempt is reversed by Kash, who rolls up Nunzio for a two count. Kash and Nunzio go back to double teaming Crazy sending him into the ropes but Crazy keeps a hold of the ropes and sends Kash and Nunzio over! Crazy nails a Moonsault onto Kash, Nunzio, and Vito and the Great Khali’s music hits. Vito knocked down by Khali. Khali throws Kash into a camera man and into the crowd. Crazy goes for a crossbody but Khali simply pushes him back to the canvas, before he picks up Nunzio and nails a Military Press out onto the mat below.
Winner: No Contest
You had to know something was coming; with half an hour left in the show, they don’t really rush the second last match like this. -Five out of Ten.
Up next: Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry
Commercials.
Raw Rebound recaps the Main Event.
Judgment Day Card so far;
Undertaker verses The Great Khali with Daivari
King Of The Ring Finals: Booker T verses Bobby Lashley or Finlay
Melina verses Jillian Hall
World Heavy Weight Championship: Rey Mysterio verses John Bradshaw Layfield
JBL’s music hits, and JBL makes his way down to the announcing table!
Commercials.
Video recap of Kurt Angle / Rey Mysterio from last week.
Main Event: Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry
Mysterio starts off with a kick right to the head, and takes it to the outside but Henry throws Mysterio into the apron. In the ring Mysterio nails punches to Henry but Henry pushes him off, kick to the gut and Henry throws Mysterio out of the ring, before Mysterio rolls back into the ring quickly and JBL begins yelling at Mysterio from ringside but gets a baseball slide for his efforts, sending him over the announcer’s tale! Mysterio off the ropes and falls into a thump by Henry. Henry picks Mysterio up with a kick to the chest. Henry treats Mysterio like a staircase. Henry picks Mysterio up and blatantly chokes him, but Mysterio escapes and bounces off the ropes, under Henry but turns around into a clothesline by Henry! Elbow drops all miss by Henry, before he catches Mysterio and ramms him into the corner. Henry sets Mysterio up in the corner and goes for a splash but Mysterio rolls out of the way, and Henry goes into the other corner! Seated Senton from the top rope! Top rope splash gets Mysterio a two count, but Henry picks Mysterio up – Tornado DDT by Mysterio! Top rope dropkick to the back of Henry leads us into the 619! Seated Senton is caught by Henry who slams Mysterio down for the victory!
Winner: Mark Henry
Post match Henry begins to drag Mysterio to the entrance way and sends Mysterio into the set, and climbs up to the Mysterio ledge! JBL tells him not to do it and promises him the first title shot with JBL when he wins! JBL announces Rey Myterio against The Great Khali next week in San Diego! JBL picks Mysterio up only to slap him back down as SmackDown fades to black. -Five for the Main Event, like you had to ask.
This week’s results;
Booker T verses Gunner Scott: 4/10
Chris Benoit verses Finlay: 10/10
Gymini verses Scotty Too Hotty / Funaki: -3/10
Cruiser Weight Triple Threat: -5/10
Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry: -5/10
SmackDown 5/05/06: 1/50
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, ONE POINT. I’d suggest you come on in to watch the show around the forty minute mark and tape Benoit verses Finlay but, otherwise, stay away. This show is the Devil. This show was the equivalent of having your bits chopped off and having to listen to Lil’ Bow Wow and Ciara while reading “If Only The Knew” by Joanie Laurer … Yeah, thats how bad this show was … Hey, if anyone has any ideas on how to make this episode better, feel free to e-mail me. Until Velocity, ciao y’all.
