TNA: In the Zone for 5/4/06
Greetings, and welcome back to In the Zone. This is where I would usually start with something witty or insightful, but instead of that, I think I’ll talk about how much I am addicted to caffeine. I would say that I love the stuff, but unless I don’t have any, I never notice it. I have recently decided that caffeine and I were to go our separate ways.
And now I’m miserable. My head is pounding harder than a wrestler at Paul Heyman’s door on payday. I feel as if I’m going to keel over. Crystal Light Tea and 20 ounce bottles of water are supposed to help me get through this. Fat frickin’ chance.
But wait, this is a wrestling column. Who’d a thunk it?
This week we don’t have to wait too long to get in the back with Borash, as we start out there. Things are going poorly in AMW town, as it seems Jackie is unhappy with her treatment. If AMW are the ones keeping her dressing that way, then I can deal with a little unhappiness, but otherwise, it’s about time for this angle to move on. They’ve been keeping this thing on a slow simmer, and I’m eager to see it boil over. Seriously, though, if Jackie’s skirt was any shorter, she’d have to wear underwear.
The kickoff match is what was promised from last week, a tag title match, with America’s Most Wanted defending against Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles.
I think it’s awesome how well Styles and Daniels work together as a tag team. These guys have been in some of the greatest matches AGAINST each other. I love seeing them as a tandem. There are a couple of moves in this match that deserve mention. First is AJ’s torture rack into a powerbomb. Very nice move. Next is Gail’s Hurricanrana. It was possible the best one I’ve seen this side of some little guy named Misterio.
Of course AWM are going to retain here. How can we have a rematch at Sacrifice without the faces going down to defeat here.
We also get to see another Senshi promo. I’m so glad that this guy is back. I love his style, his attitude, and his aggression.
The world X cup match is next, and we get to see Team Canada sent Eric Young and Johnny Devine to take on Mexico’s offerings, Shocker and Magno. I don’t want to seem too down on this whole thing, but Team Mexico (to me) seems like an American’s vision of what luchadores are supposed to be. All the other teams seem to be pretty well versed in their national styles. Team Canada (rule breaking aside)is a very technical team. Team Japan likes to take wild risks that hurt both themselves and their opponents. Tam Mexico are pure luchadores (as defined by American perception). Team USA is the oddity, and for good reason. To really represent American wrestling, you really have to build the proverbial “Melting Pot.”
During this match, Alex Shelley comes out to “scout the opposition.”
Round two goes to Mexico, due to a screw-up by Shelley. Riiiggghhhttt…. See, he gets to be a heel even while on the side of right.
Larry Z joins us at the announce position to do two things. First he confirms the tag title rematch that I spoke about earlier. Secondly (and more importantly) he gets to run away from another Raven appearance.
More game show antics ensue next. I have to admit that Steiner showed a little bit of personality in this segment. I mean Rick Steiner, of course. Not the Big Bad Roidy Daddy. This part of the show doesn’t seem real to me. It’s like watching the movie Dodgeball. They need to have Simon Diamond come out and run this segment
The Alex Shelley interview with Kevin Nash wasn’t really what I expected it to be. I thought that we’d get a serious story here, telling us where he’s been. Instead, Big Sexy seems to be more of a whiney beyotch. I don’t really care. Tonight really is turning out to be Total Nonstop Alex.
Next is more Shelley, as he takes on Christian Cage in a non title bout. (Of course it’s non-title)
Shelley gives the Paparazzi cam to So Cal Val (thus affirming his recent Face status) and enters the ring. Cage comes out in a deadly serious mood. Shelley tries to apologize for his actions. They aren’t miked, so I can’t really hear what they are saying, but by reading their lips, I can make out a little. Shelley says that Abyss “Threatened to treat me like we were in the WWE, and he was JBL.” Christian responds with “I’ve been in the WWE with Bradshaw, and it isn’t big enough to hurt you.” Then he proceeds to beat the crap out of him. This match is pretty much a total squash, allowing Shelley a small amount of offense. There is a brief flash of old fashioned Christian comedy, as he announces part of his own match, and sends us to commercial.
Of course, Captain Charisma scores the pin fall. Really good match though.
Which brings me to a point. Lately TNA has been putting out some very formulaic matches. I don’t tend to like these. “Bad guys win via a run-in” and “Good guy squashes bad guy who offended him” are just not the matches that we should be seeing. However, these TNA guys are so creative and exciting that they can do these kinds of matches and keep them fresh. I’m excited about the direction that this company is taking.
Overall, we got a pretty decent show this week. One guy wrestled his heart out more than any other, though. He gave us comedy and drama, he showed great physicality, and he worked a match with my current favorite wrestler. This week, Captain Charisma Christian Cage is In The Zone.
You don’t like it? Bite it!
Damn my head hurts…
Dougie
icarusfallz@yahoo.com
