Me and the tv and a bottle makes 3 tonight. Bottle of choice? Blue Nun.
As I sit watching and they cut to Ace in the audience… I felt so much better. It’s as if our Tuesday night date night was back on! Thanks Fox Producers.
The judges didn’t appear so drunk this time… actually the only one that did was Taylor.
I just got back from a wedding where the band was incredible and the lead singer was unstoppable. There were several people in the music industry in attendance who agreed as well. And Taylor, I gotta say, you’re not only a wedding singer… but you’re Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer. Worse than karaoke. Worse than a nuptial neophyte. Bad, Bad, Bad.
If sitting down before the judges is the kiss of death…what is lying down?
ROUND 1
Elliott – Broadway
Sounded just like George Benson. Great. But this is Elliott. Dull.
Paris – Kiss
Karaoke. Blah. Trying too hard. Kiss your American Idol experience goodbye.
Chris – Renegade
Perfect. My favorite Styx song and he delivered with enough rock and modern style that it made me like it all over again. Awesome. Makes me want to break out a Members Only jacket.
Kat – Against All Odds
Odd is right! Why the hell did she pick this song? They were all right, though. That dress was beauteous! And there was no mistaking any wardrobe malfunction on this one… she was strapped in, buckled in and David Blaine couldn’t even get around it. Stunning. That dress will be as popular as Oscar gowns. Mark my words.
Taylor – Play that Funky Music
I swear if next week he sings Macarena, Celebration, Money Money or the Chicken Dance…. Ugh. Enough of him already.
ROUND 2
Elliott – Home
Michael Bu-bloring? Yeah, his voice wasn’t pitchy. He sang it well. But boy was this a snoozer.
Paris – Without You
Girl, this is my joint. Yes. I can’t get enough of Mary J. Blige. Yes. One of my favorite song out there right now. Yes. Too Strong for too long. I love Paris and know she’s going places. After she goes home, of course.
Chris – Dare You
Ok, I thought this was Switchfoot’s, “Dare You To Move” for a second…Then quickly realized it wasn’t. This song didn’t do much for me and his voice was tired… but he’s still Daughtry and I love him.
Kat – Black Horse and a Cherry Tree
Sexiest performance of the season. Writhing all over the floor! With her parents in the audience! Simon has found his new crush. And I found my new Idol.
Taylor – Something
Beatles? Are you frickin kidding me? At least Simon pointed it out that he somehow found a way to sing a 30 year old song when it’s about contemporary music. Ugh. I love Simon and I think we both can’t stand Taylor. The novelty has worn off, Soul Patrol. Please, please, please everyone who likes Taylor, attend more weddings, hang out in dive bars where the band takes up ½ of the entire bar… but please don’t vote for him anymore to be the next Idol.
I’m sad that my little Paris won’t be there anymore. No more costume changes. No more helium voice. No more “Thiiinnnkkk Yeeewww”. Like I said, we haven’t seen the last of her. I’m seeing a clothing line ala L.A.M.B and a great line of wigs along with her singing career. Wait… that almost sounded like Jessica Simpson’s path for a second!
But helas, we’re off to Graceland and The King. I got $50 that Taylor will come out in the white, rhinestone-studded fat suit that was made famous by Elvis “the later years”.
Long live the King!
