That’s right it’s summer time and what better time of year for the studio’s to dump on us wave after wave of crappy movie while simultaneously brain washing us to love these movies so we’ll shell out the ten bucks to see it proving it was worthy making so they can justify make 12 sequels… whooo.. .it’s a vicious cycle.
Well, here are three films I know I am going to avoid, heed my advice and spend your 10 bucks on something worthwhile.
Monster House (July 21)
As with anything new and exciting everybody has to try it. And as the realm of computer animated films continues to grow you’re getting to get the good with the bad and while Disney seems to be leading in the bad department here’s another one to as to the list. In a quite suburban neighborhood three childhood friends discover that the house next door is actually a monster and it’s up to them to stop it. The computer animation for this film looks pretty good but the story seems kinda of bland, at least what story one can get from the preview. Kinda reminds me of The ‘burbs but the house is the villain and not the people inside. Notable cast members: Steve Buscemi, Jon “Napoleon” Heder, Jason Lee, Catherine O’Hara & Fred Willard. Although I wouldn’t expect much more than cameo’s from most of these.
The Ant Bully (August 4)
Another in a line of suckfest computer animated films coming this summer. Think A Bug’s Life and Antz meets Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. The teaser trailer makes it look like it should be a sequel to A Bug’s Life but Pixar is nowhere near this Stink Bug. It’s about a kid who terrorizes an ant colony until a wizard ant uses a potion to shrink him so they can put him on trial. The boy if forced to live with the ants and learn their ways. The boy will grow, he’ll be a better person a I’ll bet anyone a million dollars he’ll redeem himself in the end. It does however have an all-star cast with Nicolas Cage, Alan Cumming, Paul Giamatti, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, and Lily Tomlin.
The Descent (August)
A group of six girl friends go down in a cave and get trapped and are hunted and terrorized by strange bloodthirsty creatures. Hmm… I think I’ve seen this movie before… It sounds really familiar…. explorers in a Cave… monsters in the Cave… oh yeah! The Cave! Didn’t it suck then? Don’t think I’ll like it this time either. It is however directed by Neil Marshall who brought us Dog Soldiers so it might not be all that bad. But with a tagline like: Afraid of the dark? You will be. I’d expect some serious cheesiness. No big name stars to reel the movie going public into this film.
