Hey kids! I’m doing an Express Column this week. But don’t fret; I’ll be back for an action-packed extended column this weekend – right before the finale on Sunday.
This Express Column starts where I so often end: The Rundown. It seems fitting to me to begin here. As always, rank = likelihood of winning, relative to everyone else.
Loser’s Lounge:
16- Tina Scheer
15- Melinda Hyder
14- Misty Giles
13- Ruth Marie Milliman
12- Bobby Mason
11- Dan Berry
10- Nick Stanbury
Jury Hole:
9- Austin Carty
8- Sally Schumann
7- Bruce Kanegai
6- Courtney Marit
5- Shane Powers (3). Last week I went on a hunch that he had something up his sleeve, even though I knew he was in danger. And Shane didn’t necessarily let me down; his plan just didn’t work. He did everything he could have, and fell short. On a side note, I would like to thank Shane for everything he’s done this season. From damn near quitting, to supreme asshole, to sly guy, to caring father, Shane has run the gamut of personas. He’s quite a character, and if Burnett ever does All Stars 2, Shane better be there. Hell, I even liked Shane at the end, and cheered when he got to visit with his son. Shane, your exit from this game was one for the books: you stared everyone down and essentially said (rather calmly, too) “I know you assholes did it, but I’m not going to flip out on you. And screw you, because I’ve got food and you don’t.” I’m excited to see Shane as a juror, because I think he’ll give everyone a justifiably-so hard time, but not be bitter. Good game Shane.
*Jury Hole Update!*
Did anyone else see Courtney and Sally? First off, forget Danielle, Sally is this season’s Survivor hottie. Second of all, Courtney is looking good and giving dirty looks. Those eye rolls indicate her BS detectors are through the roof. She’s gonna be a fun one to watch on Sunday.
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4- Aras Baskauskas (4).
3- Cirie Fields (2).
I had to lump these two together. Cirie takes a hit this week. When it boils down, here’s what you have with these two. They’re a tight twosome. But everyone knows this, so watch out for Danielle to try to break them up. Also, as I said last week, Cirie is in control of this game, or at least in control of the part that Terry isn’t in control of. Right now, everyone knows Terry’s in the final three, so the other three need to worry. You know Terry will be gunning for Aras for the rest of this game, and with good reason. The target on Aras’s back is bigger than ever.
So why’d I drop Cirie? As I said before, Cirie and Aras are in the same boat, and I sadly don’t think the boat is staying afloat. These two have focused so much on getting to the end that they forgot how they got there. First it was Courtney, then Shane. I foresee a lot of jurors who won’t think that the means justify the end results. In other words, watch out for bitter jurors directing anger at either Aras or Cirie. With regard to rank for these two, I still think Cirie has the edge over Mr. Yoga, hence why she’s not at the bottom.
2- Danielle DiLorenzo (5). She jumps three spots this week. And yes, I’m fully aware that she didn’t do hardly anything to merit this rise. For me (and I’m in control of this column, BWAHAHA), Cirie and Aras may have burned their last bridge, such that I had to drop them in the rankings. The #2 spot was the only vacant spot, so Danielle occupied it. With regard to Danielle, with Aras and Cirie doing their dirty work, don’t be surprised to see people liking Danielle just by comparison. Also, all season I’ve been saying watch out for Danielle. This may FINALLY be the week she comes through for me.
1- Terry Deitz (1). Player of the Week honors, folks. And once again, I bring my own bias into the Rundown rankings. Of course, even if I hated Terry, I’d be absolutely stupid not to think he’s most likely to win. He’s in the final three. If he wins immunity this week, he’ll give the talisman to Danielle to get rid of Aras once and for all. Hopefully for him, he’ll take the two ladies into the final three with him. Now he’s got Austin/Sally as jurors for him, and probably Shane/Courtney as votes against his final two opponent. I’m so excited for five days from now, when we finally see who wins. I hope it’s Terry (bet you couldn’t have surmised that one on your own).
And that’s it folks. Look for me this weekend with a special edition column, as I do a final column assessing each person’s likelihood of winning. This week is gonna kick ass; just you wait and see. As always, feel free to hit me up via email (by the way, ‘hit me up’ is not synonymous with ‘bitch slap.’ It means ‘contact me’), and we’ll chat.
Until next time, when we discuss the necessity of shaking well before applying calamine lotion, stay cool
~Dora
