In Hindsight: Around the World in 30 (or so) days

Archive

Insane week so for me. I had an interview yesterday, and then spent the rest of the day (most of it, anyway) and this morning creating a sample database for my potential new employers. As a result, I didn’t get to watch ‘Lost’ or ‘CSI:NY’, but daaaaamn, was Chris getting the boot a surprise.

Not-so-reluctantly crouched at the starting line?
With the ninth season of ‘The Amazing Race’ drawing to a close, I was thinking to myself, “Self, ‘Survivor’ has had an “All-Star” season, ‘The Bachelor’ has an “All-Star” season, and even ‘Big Brother’ will be having an “All-Star” season (although I doubt anyone from the inaugural edition would survive the current format) – so why not create a fantasy “All-Star” season for ‘The Amazing Race’?”

I then thought, “Self, that’s a great idea! You’re brilliant!”
“No, you’re brilliant!”
“No, YOU’RE brilliant!”
“OK, WE’RE brilliant! And a bit crazy, for conversing like this to ourselves.”
“We’re not crazy. What are you talking about?”

Um, yeah. Anyways, some ground rules:
1) There are twelve teams, which has been the maximum number of teams in any one season (although there were 40 racers total in season 8)
2) There must be at least one team from each season
3) The teams must represent the “diverse” spectrum similar most of the races.
4) Relationships will be defined as they currently exist, as opposed to how they existed at the time of the show.

So, here we go:
(1) The Alpha Males

Kevin and Drew (TAR1) – It’d probably be a shame to NOT have this popular team from the first season in an “All-Star” edition. Especially since they have the distinction of being the only team to have been in TWO seasons of the Race. Granted, it was a cameo appearance in Season 8, but still, the “original” Frat Boys deserve a spot here.

(2)The Gay Couple/Friends

Team Cha Cha Cha – Danny and Oswald (TAR2) – A no brainer here. I don’t think that there have been a more popular team of gay men in this race. You could make an argument for Team Guido (Joe and Bill, TAR1) but I’m going with the Miami friends in this slot.

(3)The Siblings

Team Smiley – Blake and Paige (TAR2) – A tough call here. KennyG (Ken and Gerard, TAR3) is arguably a better choice, but I gotta go with the team with the cute girl in it. I think you could make a case for two of the Linzes here as well, but I think their season was tailor-made for them to win, so no dice.

(4)The Older Couple

Teri and Ian (TAR3) – We never expect an older couple to make it very far in this Race. So when Teri and Ian made it all the way to the Finish Line, you could say that I was a wee bit surprised. Then again, Zach won the Race nearly single-handedly so you could say that, overall, it was a weird one.

(5)The Token Minority

Chip and Kim (TAR5) – Sure, I could’ve put Uchenna and Joyce (TAR7) here but I’m still of the opinion that their victory was tainted by airport/production shenanigans (airlines don’t normally extend the jetway and open a plane after the door’s been closed and a cross-check has been performed.), so Chip and Kim get the nod here.

(6)The All-Females

The Bowling Moms – Linda and Karen (TAR5) – Despite not looking like a strong team, the Bowling Moms nevertheless overcame a fairly strong group of teams to make it all the way to fourth place. I considered putting two of the Bransen girls (TAR8) here, but didn’t for reasons seen later.

(7)The Dating/Engaged Couple

Kris and Jon (TAR6) – Halfway through this race, there was only one truly likeable team remaining, and many viewers hoped that long-distance couple Kris and Jon would win. Sadly, it wasn’t to be, but I, for one, would sure like to see them shoot for a million again.

(8)The Married Couple/Parents

Romber – Rob and Amber (TAR7). You knew they’d make it in here somewhere. You love them, you hate them, but you gotta respect how well “Romber” ran the Race. And you just KNOW that Rob would like a second third fourth fifth chance to win a million. OK, I’m being harsh – fourth chance. No way was Rupert not winning that phone-in vote.

(9)The Parent and Child

Wally and Elizabeth (TAR8) – No parent/child duo has ever made it very far in the Race – or really seemed like a true contender, so I looked to the much-maligned “family edition” to call on Wally Bransen and his oldest daughter.

(10)The Long Distance Relationship

Ray and Yolanda (TAR9) – Season 9 has brought us a lot of likable teams, but with so many all-male teams to choose from, The Hippies and Frat Boys aren’t immediate picks to Race again. And since Kris and Jon are no longer a long distance couple, the team I call “Rolanda” get this slot.

“At Large” Picks

(11)The Clowns – Jon and Al (TAR4) – With no teams from Season 4 yet, the Clowns are an easy pick out of that group to Race once again. And with Jon being the co-host of the “Finish Line” internet show, you’d hope that he’s learned a thing or two since he last Raced.


(12)Jonathan and Victoria (TAR6) – Yes, THAT Jonathan. The Race needs an intense person, plus there needs to be more than one villain, and Jonathan can be that person.

And there you have it. There’s a few other great teams that I was forced to leave out, so I’ll name them here:
– Rob and Brennan (friends), TAR1 winners.
– Tara and Wil (separated couple), TAR2
– Ken and Gerard a.k.a. KennyG (brothers), TAR3
– Kami and Karli (twin sisters), TAR5
– Colin and Christie, TAR5
– Nick, Alex, Megan and Linz, TAR8 winners
– Eric and Jeremy a.k.a. The Frat Boys, TAR9
– B.J. and Tyler a.k.a. The Hippies, TAR9

IP Linkage:
Reverend Sick gives you a primer on the heavyweights of the UFC.

Mathan didn’t watch much TV, but he takes time to rip on Roy Harper as a bad leader. But what did you expect with a former junkie at the helm?

Matt rips on Pink.

The Week In Hindsight:
Thursday:
‘Survivor: Panama – Exile Island’ (Global, CBS) – OK, so I think Aras HAS to win immunity or he’s toast. We saw Danielle making a deal with Terry in the previews but that could just be Danielle hedging her bets. Still, I don’t think anyone has taken Cirie seriously as a threat show she could very well sneak into the Final Two and win it all. I hope she does.

‘My Name is Earl’ (Global, NBC)
‘The Office’ (Global, NBC) – This had to be one of the funniest episodes I’ve seen. One question though – does Michael actually do any work around the office?

‘The Ultimate Fighter 3’ (Spike)

Sunday:
‘Iron Chef America’ (Food Network Canada) – I think that, already, there have been as many ties in the American incarnation as there were during the entire run of the original ‘Iron Chef’.

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ (CTV, ABC)

Monday:
‘Prison Break’ (Global, Fox) – I gotta feel for Prison Hurley, but it seemed rather obvious that he wasn’t gonna make it out. As for the ongoing Veronica plot – if sending her to Montana keeps her out for about half a season longer, I’m all for it.

’24’ (Fox) – I find it hard to believe that not once did Jack play the tape for Karen. Then again, he had a plane land safely just outside of L.A. in a sequence where everyone probably should’ve blacked out and there wasn’t enough unimpeded highway to land a plane. So forget I said anything.

‘CSI: Miami’ (CTV, CBS) – I think Delko’s gonna get shot, but my wife disagrees, using the argument that Adam Rodruiguez is “too pretty”. The problem is that Caruso’s the star of the show, and Marisol is too obvious a candidate for death, so I’m making my peace with Delko buying it.

Tuesday:
‘American Idol’ (CTV, Fox)
‘The Unit’ (CBS)

Wednesday:
‘The Amazing Race’ (CTV, CBS)
‘American Idol’ (CTV, FOX) – Chris Daughtry, meet Suzie Rawn. I’m sure you’ve got lots to talk about.

‘Iron Chef America’ (Food Network Canada) – Did Ralph Pagano merit a battle because he’s a good chef, or because he was on ‘Hell’s Kitchen’?

That’s it for this week.

Kevin has been an Insider since 2003, writing on a variety of topics ranging from The Amazing Race to Mixed Martial Arts. His current hobbies include Fantasy Football, Sporcle, travelling, making liberal use of his DVR and wondering what the heck he's gonna do when his two daughters are old enough to date. You can follow Kevin on Twitter (@starvenger).