THE INTRODUCTORY GLANCE
Hello, readers. Some of you might remember me from such shows as “I Wrote One Column For Inside Pulse On A Random Basis And Then I Quit” or “I Used To Write About Wrestling But Now I Write About Technology” or “I’m In A Really Cool Band”. My name is Jeremy Botter, I’m a ten-year vet of this vaunted Internet Wrestling CultwaitnoimeanCommunity, and I’ll be your Friday morning host here at Inside Pulse, where we’ll talk about all the latest in Hot Wrestling Newz. Well, I’ll also talk about whatever else I want to, but the focus is on the Newz and I’m gonna try to leave it that way. For the most part. Okay, a little. Besides, I can’t really talk about politics or meat processing without being made to look like a fool by my good friend Eric, so we’ll try to stick with wrestling for the most part.
Here’s the deal. I have a subscription to the digital version of the Torch. It’s an awesome deal, and you get access to a lot of super cool stuff. I highly recommend it, especially since it’s only five bucks a month. Basically, I’m going to pull a Samuda and re-allocate a lot of the news Wade sends out, which will eventually hit the wire anyway, but I’m going to respect the Wadester and not post the news until the day everyone else gets the deadtree version of the newsletter. Besides, I like Wade and would really like to continue getting the awesome stuff he sends out, but I’d really like to anger him just a little bit so he won’t post Pat McNeill’s audio reports anymore. The guy sounds like a strange cross between a muppet and a tree frog, and if I hear him say WELCOME TO THE REAL DEAL WITH PAT MCNEIL just one more time, I’m canceling my subscription and becoming a free agent, where I will eventually sign for less money with PWInsider Xtra. I’m only kidding, Pat. Sorta.
Anyway, I’ll post all the cool little newsbits I can find, and add some commentary to those I deem worthy (or the times when I decide not to be lazy and actually write the commentary). Everyone else on the web does commentary, and I want to try and keep my opinions out of the mix and just do the News, Etc. portion.
On with the news.
THE REASON FOR THE FOLEY TURN
Tommy Dreamer has been placed in charge of the business side of the new ECW brand revival. He also has the power to book himself into angles, which is why he was the guy that Mick Foley turned on during Raw. Foley will cut a promo on Raw that reinforces his desire to be known as king of the hardcore matches, and since Dreamer is known as “The Innovator of Violence”, he turned on him in order to take that moniker from him.
The angle will likely result in Tommy Dreamer teaming up with Terry Funk to take on Foley and Edge at One Night Stand. Folks, you heard it here first, okay? Tommy Dreamer is booking his own angles and matches. He’s the next Triple H. Soon he’ll be marrying Linda McMahon and naming The Sandman as the head of the creative department.
NEWS ON POSSIBLE ECW TELEVISION TIMESLOT
Vince McMahon continues to meet with officials from the USA Network, attempting to secure a one-hour late night weekend timeslot for the new ECW brand.
THE BIG (WAS IT REAL OR FAKE) BRAWL
Everybody’s heard about the brawl between Batista and Booker T by now. Every WWE source believes that the fight was real and unplanned, mostly because of the issues that were at hand when the argument started. Some of the Smackdown talent was upset because Batista was acting aloof at the Summerslam commercial taping while they’ve been working hard to carry the brand while he’s been down with an injury, and it finally came to blows.
Batista has a reputation for sucking up to Triple H in order to get in good with management, and supposedly has a huge ego because of his meteoric rise to the top of the company. These issues aren’t anything recent; in fact, most of them started back when he was sent to OVW for training before joining the Evolution stable.
Booker, however, has a great reputation backstage. He’s a locker room leader, and is known for being calm and collected both during shows and afterwards. During the fight, however, it’s been said that if there was a winner, then Booker was it.
WWE.com went public with the fight not to start a storyline, but to beat the dirtsheets to the punch. They want to own the wrestling news, so they figure its better to put it out there first and be able to spin it however they see fit to do so than to have Dave or Wade report it and lose a bit of that control.
WWE HITS
– Famed producer Rick Rubin was backstage at Raw this week. WWE.com produced a story on Rubin. Surprisingly, Rubin has a past connection with wrestling, as he funded Smokey Mountain Wrestling in the early 90’s.
– Greg Gagne got the job as a WWE road agent because he asked Vince McMahon for the position at the Hall Of Fame ceremony. Hey Vince, can you hire some of us Inside Pulse guys to book both your two main brands? We’ll let Paul handle ECW. Get back to us, mmmkay?
– Joey Styles was not shooting from the hip during his anti-WWE rant on Raw last week. Styles rehearsed the speech several times before the building was open, and everyone who needed to approve the speech was able to sit and listen to it over the P.A.
– Despite being extremely pregnant, Stephanie McMahon continues to attend every show and continues her position as head of the WWE creative department. She’s not flying, but is traveling on the $2 million dollar tour bus Triple H purchased for the express purpose of carting her around during the pregnancy.
– John Cena is beloved by Vince McMahon for his work ethic. Cena’s schedule of being on the road and away from home doing promotional appearances for the company rivals that of any champion WWE has ever had. McMahon may love Cena’s work ethic, but he loves the merchandise that the champ sells even more, which is why he’s hesitant to turn him heel. Most folks believe that WWE would be crazy to turn him heel and lose out on all the merchandise profits he’s bringing into the company.
– The DX reunion is going to be a short-term one, and there probably won’t be any new or returning members from the old days joining up.
– A trailer for the upcoming next-gen console title “Smackdown vs. Raw 2007” is now available for download via the XBox Live Marketplace. I’ll say it now: the game looks incredible.
– Rey Mysterio needs knee surgery, which is another reason why JBL is scheduled to take the strap from the current champion at Judgment Day. The company isn’t viewing him as a failure as champion because they know he never really had a chance. Upon his return from surgery, he’s expected to recieve a push, going so far as to even have a few title rematches. Rey is one of the most well-liked wrestlers in the company, but will have a tough time gaining any more title reigns with the return of Batista to the top of the face roster.
– Deep South Wrestling is getting deep-sixed. The developmental territory is performing so poorly that WWE is considering shutting it down and either moving the talent to OVW or cutting them from the roster entirely. The office is blaming Jody Hamilton for the poor performance of DSW. They should bring Hamilton back with the state trooper gimmick, because that was golden. Except not.
– Kurt Angle is expected to be held off television longer than originally planned. He can’t wrestle, and since the company hasn’t scheduled him for the upcoming PPV, he’ll stay off TV to sell the injury even more. It still won’t make the fans take Mark Henry as a real threat.
– Ric Flair had eye surgery, but will be back before the Vengeance PPV.
– There was never a mystery partner scheduled for the role of “God” during the recent Michaels/McMahon angle. Vince formulated the angle so he could talk trash to God and make fun of Michaels for being a Christian. Great move, Vince. Great move.
– Chavo Guerrero’s retirement angle will continue with another chapter that’s supposed to be controversial. Awesome. Maybe they can use Eddie’s death in even worse ways than they already have. Chavo will be back after Judgment Day.
– Guess who will be pushed to the main event after Summerslam? If you guessed Muhammed Hassan, then your name is Matthew Michaels. If you guessed Umaga, then the WWE front office is on line one, and they have a job for you! Umaga will be built up for months leading up to the PPV, and is expected to be Batista’s heel foil after Big Dave wins the belt back.
– Great Khali is so bad in the ring that he’s considered a danger to himself and his opponents. It’s believed that his match against Undertaker will be his only big match for the company, and he’ll likely be released following the PPV. That’s probably a good thing, considering that he’s already killed someone in the ring.
– WWE is in hot water with the athletic commission on Kentucky. Even though blading is strictly forbidden at shows in the state, Triple H still bladed during his match and Shawn Michaels suffered a broken nose and bled. Yeah, Shawn, you really shouldn’t go around breaking your nose and bleeding, because that’s against the rules. When someone bleeds in Kentucky, you’re supposed to go straight to the finish of the match, no matter how far you are into the bout.
TNA QUIK HITS
– Jim Cornette has agreed to a deal with TNA and will debut as the on-air authority figure position recently held by Larry Legend In His Own Mind. Cornette was removed from his position as head writer for OVW a year ago and replaced with Paul Heyman, and even though Heyman is going to leave OVW once ECW starts a full schedule this summer, Cornette has not been considered as a replacement to return to the territory. Cornette has long been wanting to get away from WWE, but did not want to go to work for another promotion until the OVW tape library was sold. That deal was completed last week when WWE purchased the entire library, so Cornette feels he has nothing to lose by working for WWE’s competitors. TNA really isn’t any sort of competition for WWE at this (or any) point, but they will be competing directly with ECW, and Cornette relishes the challenge of taking WWE on. He’ll also remain as the commish of Ring Of Honor while working for TNA.
Cornette is scheduled to have surgery soon and can’t travel for several months after that, so it’s unclear as to when he will make his debut for TNA. Cornette also hates flying and won’t relocate to Florida, and is still burned out from years of booking with WWE and Smokey Mountain Wrestling, so he isn’t being considered to join the booking team of TNA. Plus, he hates working with other bookers who he considers to be “beneath” him, which is just about everybody.
Cornette’s debut was supposed to be a surprise, but his name was accidently listed on a TNA promotional document, so the surprise was ruined. Another perfect example of why WWE wants to tightly control the news coming out of Stamford via WWE.com.
– TNA CEO Kevin Day’s last full day with the promotion is today. He turned in his one-month notice at the beginning of April. Day quit because he hates the political nature of the TNA office, mostly because of Jeff Jarrett. Don’t worry, Kevin — we all hate Jeff Jarrett, too, and most of us resigned a long time ago. Welcome to the club.
– Raven took part in TNA’s monthly media conference call on May 9. Raven said he tok ten weeks off from the wrestling business to lay in bed, watch television and recuperate from various problems that have plagued him over the years. And then Flea’s Wrestler Death Pool gets a mention, as he says he was the number one draft choice in the pool before he cleaned himself up. You know, if that dude from the Libertines was a wrestler, he’d be an easy #1 choice.
– Kevin Nash proposed that A.J. Styles should defeat him at the end of his upcoming X Division storyline, but the company instead chose Chris Sabin, mostly because of Sabin’s close friendship with Scott D’Amore, who heads the booking committe and is fat.
THE INDIES HITS
– Gabe Sapolsky is sending Jack evans, Matt Sydal, Austin Aries, Roderick Strong and Jimmy Rave to the Dragon Gate Dojo in Japan to learn the DG Junior Heavyweight style of grappling. Sapolsky believes that the DG style is five years ahead of its time, which means we’ll see it in twenty three years in WWE.
AROUND THE HORN OF THE PULSE
– Michaelangelo checks in with his Pearl Jam review. He’s right, you know. The album should have been released in 1994, not 2006, but we’ll take it over the stuff they’ve been putting out the past few years any day of the week.
– Some things are better left dead, Brashear. Berlyn is one of those things. Shame on you.
– Everyone’s got a Wii joke. Michael O’Reilly does, and he expounds in the Pulse Cannon.
FIVE THINGS I THINK
This concept is taken from Peter King. Actually, more like “blatantly stolen” than “taken”, but whatever, the end result is the same.
1. I think the Nintendo Wii is going to do huge sales and probably revolutionize the gaming industry as we know it.
2. I also think that the PlayStation 3 is going to bomb out unless they drop the price by a few hundred dollars.
3. I think Steve McNair got the shaft in Tennessee, but I also think Vince Young is in the right place for his career to develop.
4. Sometimes I think I’m a bit old to be writing about professional wrestling, but then I realize that no matter how old I get, Eric always has me beat by at least half a century.
5. I think I’ll try and last more than one week this time around the block.
FIN
That’s it for me, folks. I’ll be back throughout the week, cribbing news from Wade and repurposing it here at InsidePulse.com. Of course, I’ll be back next Friday for another round of salacious rumors, half-truths and outright lies package up in a nice little bundle called the Botterm Dollar.
