The (Early) SmackDown Report

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We open up, as always, with the “Don’t Try This At Home” vignette as well as the WWE video, and we get a recap of last week’s events regarding JBL and Rey Mysterio. Believe it or not the video makes last week look pretty entertaining somehow. God bless the WWE Production team.

United States Champion JBL kicks us off tonight, with San Diego booing obviously. JBL applauds Rey Mysterio and a 619 chant quickly starts up; “I’m Surprised You Know The Numbers In English”. JBL hypes up tonight’s Main Event of Rey Mysterio verses Great Khali as well as the Judgment Day Main Event. JBL obviously continues to verbally talk down the Mexican People, before offering the Mysterio family jobs working for JBL after Judgment Day, and Mysterio finally comes out and attacks JBL. The beatdown begins to make it’s way up the aisleway before referees run out and drag Mysterio off of JBL, who promptly runs backstage. Kind of boring way to open the show, it looked as though JBL was just making it all up on the spot.

Tonight: Rey Mysterio verses The Great Khali, also in the only semi final match Bobby Lashley verses Fit Finlay.

Commercials.

Gregory Helms makes his way out for commentary. The winner of the following contest will challenge him at Judgment Day.

Opening Contest: Number One Contendership For The Cruiser Weight Championship: Kid Kash verses Nunzio verses Super Crazy
While Crazy is making his entrance Kash attacks Nunzio from behind, and whips him into the ropes but Nunzio catches the ropes and Crazy nails Kash with a Missile Dropkick from behind, sending him into Nunzio who drops him to the outside. Crazy rolls Nunzio for a one. Elbows by Nunzio to Crazy, Nunzio whips Crazy and Crazy slides under Kash’s legs and gets a kick right to the head by Kash, Nunzio tries to attack Kash but Kash gets a shoulder to the gut and flips Nunzio to the outside. Kash slams Nunzio into the apron and slides Crazy into the ring, getting a two count. Kash nails some headbutts and kicks Crazy back down for a two count. Kash gets sent into the corner and gets a big boot to Crazy, Nunzio rolls him up for a one count but Crazy kicks him off into Kash, who gets Nunzio down in a package for a two count. Package by Crazy on Nunzio for a one count, broken by Kash. Nunzio sends Crazy out of the ring and gets whipped off the ropes by Kash into a clothesline for a two count. Nunzio sets Kash up on the top turnbuckle but Kash gets the advantage and nails the Moonsault! Kash gets a two count, but Crazy nails a swanton! Crazy covers Nunzio for a two count, then gets a two count on Kash! Springboard dropkick to Nunzio, spinning heel kick to Kash by Crazy , standing moonsault to Nunzio gets Crazy another two count. Chop by Crazy to Kash before Crazy sends Kash into the opposite corner, Crazy goes for another whip but Kash sends Crazy into the corner. Kash tries to follow up but Crazy moves out of the way, Crazy goes up top and nails Kash with a moonsault! 1.. 2 .. Broken by Nunzio! Crazy chokes Nunzio in the corner, making sure to avoid the five count, before running at Kash in the opposite corner and nailing a dropkick. Crazy chops away at Kash in the corner, Nunio gets involved in the action but Crazy knocks him away. Crazy sets Kash up on the top turnbuckles and begins to join him, but Nunzio sets Crazy up on his shoulders! Kash goes for the Doomsday Device but Crazy rolls Nunzio through with a Victory Roll for the victory!
Winner And Number One Contender: Super Crazy

See, this is what SmackDown needs more of. Okay, yeah, about half of the match (at least) was Crazy with the upper hand, but it was still a solid opening match. While I’m finding it a bit odd that Super Crazy was chosen to take on Helms at Judgment Day, I suppose it was either he or Psicosis anyways, and Crazy has been getting much more of a push as of late. Six out of Ten.

Backstage, Kurt Angle has arrived!

Commercials.

Kurt Angle and Theodore Long are backstage in Long’s office, with Angle demanding a match against Mark Henry tonight! Long says that the Doctor’s have yet to clear Angle, before Angle threatens him. Long announces he can give Angle his match against Henry at Judgment Day!

Second Contest: The Gymini verses Mike Wellington and Joey Ryan
Looks like it’s squash time. G1 starts off with Wellington. G1 takes Wellington to the ropes to start off with with Wellington going to the apron and G1 throwing him back in, before nailing a clothesline and a gutwrench. Tag out to Ryan, who is quickly knocked outside and set up on the apron for a kick by G1. Tag out to G2. Ryan gets sent off the ropes into a pair of shoulders. G2 sends Ryan into the corner face first, before bringing him back for the headlock knees and tagging back out to G1, who both throw Ryan into the corner. Rear choke hold by G1. Tag out to G2, who nails Ryan with a C-4, Wellington comes in for a clothesline and gets scoop slammed on Ryan. Tag out to G1, Gymini throw Ryan up in the air and let him slam down for the victory.
Winners: The Gymini

No Simon Dean this week. Odd. Squashes do nothing for anyone; -Four out of Ten.

Kurt Angle getting escorted out of the building.

See No Evil Premiere recap, one of the stars looks a lot like Jennifer Garner actually. Angle says he was hiding behind Viscera. JBL says it was right up there with Freddy and Jason. Well, Kane certainly looks like he could be right up there, but whether he actually is or not is yet to be seen.

Still to come: Fit Finlay verses Bobby Lashley!

Commercials

Recap of the Benoit/Finlay match from last week’s SmackDown. Let’s hope there’s a rematch at Judgment Day.

Booker T and Sharmell make their way out. Booker says for the record he is rather upset that Henry took out Angle, and that he would have beaten him down like a dog in their semi final match because that’s “the real deal”, before proclaiming that Kurt Angle was afraid of Booker T, with Booker refusing to win a match by Forfeit. Booker gives Angle ten seconds, and obviously just has to count them all and the two celebrate, with Sharmell proclaiming Booker T as the winner! Ha, nice touch.

Up next: Bobby Lashley verses Fit Finlay, Winner Advances to take on Booker T at Judgment Day!

Commercials.

Third Contest: King Of The Ring Semi Final: Fit Finlay verses Bobby Lashley
Finlay and Lashley lock up to start, neither getting any advantage until Lashley forces Finlay into the corner. Lashley takes Finlay down but Finlay keeps the shoulder up, and Lashley acts quickly – combining his amateur background with some clubs to Finlay, before Finlay gets his feet to the ropes. Up on their feet, Finlay gets a cheap slap in on Lashley. Lashley goes to club away on Finlay in the corner but the referee forces him off and Finlay gets in another cheap hit! Finlay takes Lashley to the corner and nails a short arm clothesline before locking on the sleeper hold and eventually a “Lashley” chant starts up. Finlay gets some stomps to Lashley before reapplying the sleeper hold, Lashley gets to his feet and gets some elbows in but Finlay gets the upper hand and bounces off the ropes into a big boot by Lashley! Lashley sends Finlay into the corner and Lashley comes back into a military press into the gut buster.

Lashley sends Finlay into the corner and follows up with a clothesline. Lashley clubs away on Finlay, but Finlay grabs Lashley by the tights and drags him into the turnbuckle. Finlay stomps away on Finlay before dragging Lashley to the apron and choking Lashley using the ring apron curtain, before then choking him with the bottom rope. Sleeper hold applied by Finlay, Lashley almost escapes but Finlay drags him back down into a reverse headlock. Finlay drops the knee to the face of Lashley, nice kick right to the back, forearm to the face pair of pinfalls for a pair of two counts. Booker T and Sharmell make their way out as Finlay applies .. The Vulcan Death Grip. Right. Finlay goes up top and jumps off into raised knees by Lashley! Lashley gets stiff punches and kicks in, sending Finlay outside. Lashley gets onto the turnbuckle and jumps off, looking to be going for a Kane esque clothesline, but Finlay drags out the curtain in between Lashley’s legs. Finlay clubs away on Lashley as we go to a commercial break.

Commercials

And we’re back to see Finlay having Lashley locked in an armbar. Lashley begins to get to his feet, punches Finlay off of him but Finlay gets a kick to Lashley’s gut, and locks in a hammerlock. Lashley backs up into the corner but Finlay comes back with a clothesline for a two count. Finlay works the arm in the corner, incorporating the ropes, before stretching on the elbow. Lashley sends Finlay into the corner, getting a big boot, but Finlay comes right back into a choke – Lashley picks him up and slams him into the corner and nails an overhead belly to belly! Axe handles to Finlay is followed by the shoulder body toss. Clotheslines by Lashley, Running Slam and Lashley sets up for the spear! Lashley is about to nail it but Finlay kicks the injured left arm, for a two count! Finlay rolls outside and gets the chair, and grabs the Shelaleigh as well! The referee grabs the Shaleleigh, and Finlay nails Lashley with the chair. Spear by Lashley out of nowhere!! One! Two! Three!
Winner And Advancing Into King Of The Ring Finals: Bobby Lashley

Post match, Lashley tells Booker T that he’s in his seat, and to get out of he’ll throw him out. Which means it’s Booker T verses Bobby Lashley for the King Of The Ring at Judgment Day! Surprising ending (if not a tad bit illogical and questionable to some people aside, to have Lashley no sell it) to top off one of Lashley’s better matches. The one problem: it dragged on. While Finlay can distract you from the length of a match (which is ALWAYS a good thing), this match did drag before Lashley’s comeback. I liked it anyways at least. Six out of Ten.

Still to come: Rey Mysterio verses The Great Khali

Commercials.

And we’re back with everyone’s favorite MNM making their way out, with Melina verses Jillian Hall and the Tag Team Champions MNM taking on The HooliganZ (ugh, hate that name) at Judgment Day. Say what you will about Judgment Day, but those two matches have heaps of sex appeal in it none the less. Nitro starts off on the microphone, asking if it’s hot in here or is it just them .. Just them. Nitro calls MNM the best, hottest, and sexiest Tag Team Champions in history .. Very true. Mercury says no one can hold a flame to any of them. We get a recap of MNM attacking London and Kendrick last week. Melina calls London and Kendrick nothing but boys getting their fifteen minutes of fame by .. rubbing .. up against MNM. I block out until the next Trish Stratus makes her way out, that being Jillian Hall obviously. Hall reminds Melina of the fight at the Make Up Table they had, before Melina says the line of the night; “Oh .. It Speaks” before Hall challenges Melina to a match right there and then! Hall begins to make her way down to the ring, and London and Kendrick attack MNM from behind and dack them! Hall dacks Melina! For those playing the home game, Mercury and Nitro are wearing very gay blue tights. Hall and The Hooliganz would make one hell of a trio if they were paired up together on a more permanent basis, actually.

Mark Henry is backstage, making his way down to the ring.

Commercials.

Mark Henry makes his way out with new music, which will be found on the Wreckless Intent CD. I liked his old music much more. We get a recap of Henry taking out Angle as well.

Fourth Contest: Mark Henry verses Paul Burchill
No Shelly this week, eh? Henry clotheslines Burchill down to start and kicks him right in the head to follow up, before getting a kick to the chest to follow up. Henry throws Burchill into the corner, and Burchill ducks out and gets a few kicks in, before going for the irish whip but Henry throws him out of the ring .. somehow nicely done too, actually. Burchill on the apron and Henry throws him back into the ring, only to punch him right in the forehead. Shoulder tackles in the corner, before a stiff shot to the chest, before Henry gets a running splash to Burchill in the corner – and nails another one to back it up, so to speak. Burchill rolls outside and Henry sends him into the apron, sets Burchill up at the steel ring post and slams him back into the steel pole! Back in the ring Henry gets a soccer kick to the gut of Burchill before sending him back into the corner with another pair of splashes before Henry gets the microphone. Henry tells that Angle will get the same thing at Judgment Day, before Henry nails the “World Strongest Slam” for the victory.
Winner: Mark Henry

I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seemed like Henry had a lot more energy tonight. Sure he wasn’t at any good level tonight, but Burchill make him look like gold. However, squash match. So -Five out of Ten.

Still to come: Rey Mysterio verses The Great Khali.

Commercials.

Nunzio and Vito are backstage, with Orlando Jordan listening to them. Vito finishes speaking and walks off, and tells Nunzio that he saw someone pretty much exactly like Vito in drag over in the UK a few weeks ago .. Right.

Judgment Day Card:
King Of The Ring Finals: Bobby Lashley verses Booker T with Sharmell
Kurt Angle verses Mark Henry
Jillian Hall verses Melina
Tag Team Championship:MNM (Champions) verses Paul London and Brian Kendrick
Cruiser Weight Championship:Gregory Helms (Champion) verses Super Crazy
The Undertaker verses The Great Khali
World Championship:Rey Mysterio (Champion) verses John Bradshaw Layfield

Hm, well, doesn’t look as bad as it did last week at least.

JBL makes his way out, leading us into a Commercial.

Commercials.

Main Event: The Great Khali verses Rey Mysterio
Before the match even begins, JBL gets attacked by Rey Mysterio … Mysterio only stands up to Khali’s chest, if he where to wear platforms. Stare off (too much irony in “stare down”) starts us off for a minute or so, before Mysterio goes to run into the ropes behind Khali but Khali grabs him by the throat and simply pushes him out of the ring and up into the announcer’s table, where JBL yells at him. Back in Khali throws Mysterio right back out of the ring. Missile Dropkick of the top rope right into Khali’s chest is no sold and Mysterio falls down in pain. Khali picks him up for a headbutt to the back of the head, sending Mysterio again out of the ring, where JBL punches him back down and sends him back into the ring. Khali with a kick right to the head of Mysterio, picks him up with a choke hold and lifts him up in a double handed chokehold and slams him don fiercely, foot across the neck gets the three count.
Winner: The Great Khali

Post match, JBL tells Mysterio just to wait until his challenger (KANE) next week (KANE). An obvious -Five out of Ten for this. So, this week’s SmackDown is …

Number One Contendership Triple Threat: 6/10
Gymini verses Wellington and Ryan: -4/10
Bobby Lashley verses Finlay: 6/10
Mark Henry verses Paul Burchill: -5/10
Rey Mysterio verses Great Khali: -5/10
SmackDown 12/05/06: -2/50

Much like last week’s Show, this week was terrible. With a questionable (and very desperate and irrational) main event scene, and a rather pathetic development in this Tag Team Championship feud, it’s simply a shame what this show is, was, and what it may become. While I can’t help but look at the positives of the fact that Team SmackDown is pushing people and divisions, which is what the entire IWC wanted (isn’t it?), it’s just typical human nature to find the negatives and pick at them .. Well, I guess one way of thinking about this show as of late is, it could always be worse. See you tomorrow for Velocity, Ciao Y’all.