Here we have the Coliseum Video of the WrestleFest 1991 complication, exploding with action! Besides the matches, we get Randy Savage’s first assignment since coming out of retirement pulling hosting duty, new feature, manager-cam, and Beefcake GROOMING TIPS! Feel the excitement yet? Here we go…
The NeelDown Video Review: WrestleFest ’91
– Hosted by Randy Savage
– From poolside at Macho Man’s house
– We get an incredibly tacky WWF action figures commercial beforehand, hosted by Roddy Piper with a couple of kids with mullets carrying out tag team matches in the toy ring. Funny stuff.
– We tune in with now just retired Macho Man who is at poolside sipping an ice tea. The illegal pills are non-visable in the drink. He talks about the WrestleMania match with Warrior and how he has had the best and worst of managers. Time for the first match…
Earthquake v. Ultimate Warrior
Earthquake jumps him to start, but it only makes Warrior WARRIOR UP, and returns the favor with the flying forearm. Warrior decides to go after Jimmy Hart instead, so Earthquake attacks him from behind. Lord Alfred Hayes is absolutely puzzled by this mistake of Warrior. Earthquake dumps him into the corner for some choking and clobbering. Warrior tries fighting back, but falls victim to the BEARHUG OF DOOM. Earthquake slams him down out of it and gets the ASS CLOBBER, but it only gets two. Warrior feels the adrenaline rush and hits a couple of clotheslines, then gets a bodyslam and the Splash for the upset. Nothing much here besides buildup up to the Warrior comeback, but it wasn’t a total waste. *
Winner: Ultimate Warrior
The Mountie v. Big Bossman
This match is viewed through the extra-special “Coliseum Video presents Manager Cam,” where we see the match through the eyes of Jimmy Hart. Actually though, we see more of just Hart himself then the match. Anyway, Bossman pummels him for a while so he has to go out and get comforted by Hart. Bossman stops to tell the camera who he is. Bossman wonders where he got his licensee, because he is an idiot. Bossman gives him the knee guillotine and some choking. Mountie can’t amount a comeback, Jimmy is screaming that he needs to stop getting trapped in the corner. Bossman misses a charge and Mountie works on his knee. Mountie wants a microphone and announces that he is the Mountie. Yawn. Anyway, he runs into the Bossman Slam and gets defeated. The camera focus on Hart wasn’t too dreadfully annoying, and was actually kind of funny, which was needed since the match was a complete borefest. 1/4*
Winner: Big Bossman
Power & Glory v. The Rockers
Michaels tries working the arm of Roma over to start, but gets slugged down. Michaels comes back with a ranna, Hercules tries interfering but they double crescent kick him out, then give one to Roma to, for good measure. When asked about Slick’s red hat, Hayes says “well first of all I wouldn’t wear that gay– I mean that kind of apparel.” Janetty is legal now, and gets dropkicked by Roma. Janetty tries a chinlock, but gets distracted by Hercules and has to break it. He stupidly then tries a headlock in the corner, and Roma shoulders out of it. Good thing Brock Lesnar wasn’t around during the time of Marty. P&G get a double elbow on Janetty, then Hercules turns him inside out with a clothesline for two. Roma comes back in and gets a running leg drop for two. He tries a headlock, but Janetty fights out and tries a sunset flip. Roma counters into a punch, but it misses, so he just clotheslines him down. Janetty gets slammed on the outside and gets draggged back in for a suplex by Hercules. That gets two. Roma comes back in with an elbow from the top. Michaels finally makes the hot tag and gets a running neckbreaker, but Hercules comes in. However, he gets overwhelmed by the Rockers double team and they give Roma a nice double suplex. Michaels goes to the top but gets pulled down by Slick, they chase him at ringside, drawing a count-out. Atrocious ending to a pretty solid match. I guess they needed a way to give the Rockers a cheap loss, though. ***
Winners: Power & Glory
Ted DiBiase v. Texas Tornado
Von Erich invites DiBiase’s former bodyguard Virgil down to ringside to start, who is sporting the tight pink spandex shirt, ideal for bodyguards everywhere. Tornado takes him down in the corner and rolls him up for two. DiBiase rolls out, but Virgil rolls him back in. He goes back out, and gets followed by Tornado who sends him into the post. Tornado tries the Tornado Punch, but misses and hits the post. DiBiase works on the fist now by slamming it against the steps. Back inside DiBiase works him over in I believe all four corners, then gets a fistdrop. DiBiase dumps him and tries to suplex him back in but Tornado falls on him with Virgil holding his leg down giving him the pin. Short and to the point, and the whole thing was all overshadowed by VIRGIL at ringside, as seen in the abrupt finish. *1/4
Winner: Texas Tornado
Haku v. The British Bulldog
They go back and fourth with leapfrogs to start and Bulldog gets a dropkick, drawing Haku to call a timeout. Davey Boy continues to frustrate him with a slam and such. Haku, who by the way is dawning the ISLAND PANTS, tries punching back into it but gets pulled into a sleeper. He breaks it quick, but gets locked in an armbar. Haku … slowly … gets out and plants him with a nice looking piledriver for two. Haku tries some sort of modified Romero Special but pulls the hair instead. He then locks in sleeper, which Bulldog gets out of and they collide with crossbodys, but Davey drops on top. That gets two. Haku pummels him back down and goes with a chinlock. They exchange punches and Haku rakes the eyes. He misses a dropkick and Davey goes on a rampage with some of his usual stuff and gets two. Davey Boy catches him off the ropes with a nicely executed crucifix, and that’ll do it. Match actually kept at a steady pace where I was expected it to be slow, which worked out well enough. **3/4
Winner: British Bulldog
– Now Savage shoots some billiards and welcomes us to Brutus Beefcake’s barber shop grooming tips. Seriously, does ANYONE, even the writers, find this stuff funny?
Rick Martel v. Greg Valentine
They exchange hammerlocks to start, so The Model gives him a cocky shove. The Hammer returns the favor and shoves him back, sending him to the floor. In a battle of those ferocious nicknames, I’m pretty sure The Hammer would beat out The Model. Crowd gets behind Valentine, which he seems to be enjoying. He grabs a headlock back inside. Martel tries a high knee to the corner but jams it into the turnbuckle, giving Valentine the ability to work the hamstring for a while, unfortunately. This goes on for a bit, as Hayes seems to think Martel is a bit lethargic tonight. If only that worked, when you are getting beat up, you are lethargic. Martel is able to counter something working the leg and VIOLENTLY chokes him out, then tosses him. Martel hauls him back in, drops some elbows and gets a double axe handle. Valentine amounts a comeback via hiptoss then gets the shuffling HAMMER PUNCHES and an atomic drop, then a sloppy clothesline sends Model to the floor, where he takes a bump on the apron on the way out. They brawl out there, where it only seems like about five seconds, but the bell rings and apparently it is a double count-out. The pissed off Valentine blocks the spray bottle afterwards and continues the assault with the Figure Four. Like the earlier tag match, this was a match that the crowd was into but it ended terribly. It was slow at any rate, anyways. **
Winner: Double Count-out
Koko B. Ware v. The Warlord
Some old guy in the front row REALLY gets into Koko’s bird flapping. Koko frustrates him to start, but Warlord, who has a striking resemblance to Steve Austin if he had a beard and was bigger, back drops him to the floor. It takes Koko forever to get back in, but he does on a sunset flip attempt, but he can’t budge it and Warlord continues the slow offensive dismantling. Koko jumps right into his arms with the BEARHUG OF DOOM. Hayes notes that Koko has been doing exceptionally well in this match up to this point. Umm … what match has he been watching? Warlord slams him and tries an elbow but Koko dodges it and schoolboys him for two. Koko fakes him out with a moonsault and gets a missile dropkick for two. He tries a charge but gets hung on the ropes and Warlord finishes him with a running powerslam, to all of the crowd’s dismay, but not Slick’s. Boring. 1/2*
Winner: The Warlord
The Hart Foundation v. Legion Of Doom
Instead of concentrating on the match, Alfred and company wonder just what is the advantage of Bret’s sunglasses. An interesting question, if you ponder about it for a moment. Anvil and Animal start, which you know is going to be a buswreck, and they quickly collide with lariats. Hawk tags in but quickly gets worked over, and Bret comes in. Hawk tries presses him but Bret slips out. Bret tries charging in but Hawk dumps him over the top and gives him some headbuts on the outside. Bret gets a swinging neckbreaker back inside for two, Hawk looks pissed, so Bret tags Anvil back in. Bret adds a knee to the kidneys allowing Anvil to botch a clothesline over the top, so he just shoves him out instead, where Bret adds some retaliation to what he was just suggest of a moment ago. Ha, I love taking Alfred’s commentary. Back inside the Harts isolate Hawk and Bret gives him a backbreaker for two. Neidhart comes back in and freezes him with a front facelock, the turns it into a slam for two. Bret is back, and he continues working Hawk over with the facelock. Some cheap double team tactics by the Foundation can’t take care of Hawk. Anvil locks him in a chinlock. Hawk is finally able to get a facebuster, but Anvil quickly slaps back on the front facelock. Animal reaches in for the tag, but Bret runs in and knocks him off the apron. Animal chases Bret around ringside playing cat and mouse, then comes in and allows the Foundation to get a double team. Now Bret is legal, who gets the atomic drop. Anvil tries to slingshot Bret into him in the corner, but Hawk manages to dodge it and get the HOT tag to Animal who CLEANS HOUSE. LOD return the favor with the slingshot sandwich. Hawk goes up top, but Anvil knocks him off and Bret sideslams Animal. Anvil gets a SPRINGBOARD SHOULDERBLOCK on Animal! Whoa, high flying Anvil! Bret tries a crossbody but Animal catches him and slams him down, Hawk prevents Anvil from breaking up the pin. ***1/2
Winners: Legion of Doom
Marty Janetty v. Tanaka
Interesting choice to close out the video, with one member of the Rockers against one of the Oriental Express. Tanaka wears him down to start but Janetty makes the quick comeback. Mr. Fuji threatens Tanaka with situps in the dungeon, so he goes back to work. Janetty fakes him out and sends him back to the floor. Fuji has to be upset at this point. Janetty follows up with a crossbody. While Fuji distracts Marty, Tanaka exposes a turnbuckle, or tries to anyway. Tanaka tries some cocky slaps. This is taking WAY too long to get going. Tanaka tries begging him off but turns it into some offense. Janetty tries a high body tackle to the corner, but tackles the post and lands on the outside. Tanaka tries to end it on a count-out here, but Janetty escapes. Tanaka gives him the CROTCH HEADBUT OF DOOM. Janetty fights back with some usual stuff but Tanaka gets his barefoot on the rope to break it. Tanaka tries pinning with his feet on the ropes now, but the ref is alert. Janetty tries a schoolboy for a near fall. Tanaka goes back in control and sends him back outside, but Janetty does the slide under the bottom rope trick. Tanaka drops him quickly with a double axe handle, however. Tanaka tries a piledriver, but Janetty counters it into one of his own, picking up the win. Solid if not a bit slow. ***
Winner: Marty Janetty
End of show.
