Mail Bag!
That’s right. First, some reader mail. Mike S emailed to say that Noah quit not because he couldn’t handle being an ultimate fighter (he never complained during training or gave less than 100% as far as we saw), but because he was separated from his family, which caused anxiety. I, too, believe that Noah left not only because of his girlfriend, and certainly not because he wasn’t up to training anymore, but because of a combination of factors including being obviously very in love with a woman and being in a stressful situation away from a homelife where people apparently needed him. Everybody has issues when they have a job that keeps them away from the people they love, and it is a part of being a fighter who trains full time, but we can’t judge Noah’s willingness to fight for a living based on one incident where, after being completely sequestered for weeks, the production crew allows him to read a letter that upsets him to the point of leaving. It was unfair to Noah himself and unfair to Team Ortiz for the production crew to allow Noah to have that contact in the form of a distressing letter and then for Dana not to give him a a phone call, simply to create “drama” for their telvision show, but, as it stands, it is a reality television show, and these sorts of things are going to happen.
Noah himself addressed the situation on the TUF boards in this thread:
The show was a great experience!! You are asked to hand over your life to perfect strangers. It is important to keep in mind that these strangers are producers, and it is their job to make the most exciting and entertaining TV show possible. UFC or no UFC, they have to make the most out of “Reality” even if that means pushing the word “Reality” to new depths. Their job is to create conflict within the house; It’s not their fault no one wants to see everyone happy and getting along, that’s just the way it is. I got along with everyone, so they used an outside source to get a reaction out of me. They got, perhaps, a little more than they bargained for. I would never choose anything above the people in my life that make me happy. And there is one in particular that I happen to be madly in love with.
Gabe (who e-mails feedback all the time, because he’s awesome) says, re: my column last week: “I can’t believe you glossed over the Brokeback Mountainish Danny/Matt relationship.”
Looking back on it, I can’t, either, but I think I was just trying to counterbalance everyone who was going to say, “Danny is so ghey omg” just because he’s a friendly guy who may happen to care about human beings other than himself. Besides, I hear Matt “hates fags,” but that’s more internet drama than I want to go into during this or any other decade.
The Show!
Now, on to all the other pressing matters. Last week we left off just as Dana was about to announce who was going to take Noah’s spot in the semi-finals. Ken says that he thought, “Well, it’s gotta be for our team!”
The returning competitor is… Jesse. As expected. Tito seems not to care, Ken says it’s “kind of a punishment” for Team Ortiz since their guy quit. Bisping was very pissed off about the whole situation, saying that Jesse looked like a fool when he lost before, and he’ll look like a fool when he gets submitted or knocked out again. Bisping says to the returning Jesse, “You’ve got about a week to learn to grapple.” Sounds like a threat. Exciting. Tito says that it’s “bullshit” that Noah left and Jesse gets to come back. His response to Noah’s leaving is “He let himself down for a woman… Be a world champion, let the women chase you.” Meursault (of The Stranger fame) said “And yet none of his certainties was worth one strand of a woman’s hair.” Albert Camus is smarter than Tito Ortiz.
Team Shamrock Training
They’re shown training intensely now that Jesse’s back. I love the editing on this show. Ken is very happy, because, if you’ll recall, Jesse was his first LHW pick. He says, “If anyone deserves a second chance, it’s Jesse.” Shamrock trains one-on-one with Tait for a while to prepare for his fight. Tait says that he’ll destroy Josh on the ground.
Team Ortiz Training
They’re all mad at Noah and saying mean things about him. Josh is upset because “a guy who lost in under 2 minutes gets to the semi-finals.” Kendall says that Jesse is going to “lose again because he hasn’t been training like us, he’s been shaving his head [Jesse now sports a mohawk] and masturbating in hotel rooms.” Tito says the team’s energy is lowered because of the Noah situation. Everyone seems to think it’s like a loss for the team. Tito says that he wants to get spirits back up, so he gives them the day off, and they go out for sushi. Much unlike Shamrock’s “golf” bonding session, this sushi thing needs to work and they’re all talking and laughing and rebuilding their team mentality. Bisping says to the waiter, “Excuse me. Can I have a fork?” Tito says that Noah was a bad apple and now they’ll be fine without him.
During the next training session, Josh is training hard and grunting. Tito says that Josh always pushes himself to the limit. Josh, in a video interview, talks about how he used to weigh 330 lbs, and now he’s down to 205 because he has control over what he’s doing.
Here, I’d like to talk a bit about Josh Haynes. He’s been all around the internet lately, on Sherdog, on MySpace, talking about himself and his situation to people who ask. He weighed 330 lbs because of his hypothyroidism, and you can find out all sorts of things about him by visiting his MySpace and his offical website: bringthepain.tv. It is about this point in the episode, during the video interview about his “control” that I decide that I rather like him. I used to think he was just sort of bland with funny hair, but during this episode, he’s coming across as very insightful and dedicated, and that’s admirable. I still hate his nickname, though.
Team Shamrock Training
Ken’s training with Tait again. They’re sparring in the Octagon and Ken makes this hilarious “ding ding!” noise to signify the beginning of their faux round.
Tait talks about how he trained initially in stick fighting, and then BJJ. Tait doesn’t come across as an asshole even once during this episode, which impresses me. He’s annoyed me in every episode prior to this one. Here, especially, he’s eloquent in saying what fighting means to him and his reflections on MMA are pretty similar to mine, but from, you know, an actual fighter’s perspective. Even so, the reasons he fights are the reasons I watch. He says “you get into a cage with someone, that’s truth right there,” and that there is a lot of posturing in other aspects of life, but that fighting is honesty.
The Weigh-In
Both fighters make weight. Both the coaches and Dana think that the fight could go either way, given that Tait is better at submissions while Josh is better at standup. Dana leans toward Tait.
At Home
Tait and Danny are playing pool. Tait says that a bottle lands on the pool table, and he throws it back up to the balcony from whence it came. Josh was on the balcony. Josh gets hit by the bottle, and it cuts the corner of his eyebrow. He’s bleeding. Tait takes one look at it and gets so pissed off. Tait is actually more concerned than Josh is and he apologizes profusely. Josh says that he recognizes that it was an accident. In his video interview, Josh says that he usually builds up hatred towards the guys that he fights. He says he likes all the housemates and that the environment of friendship makes it harder to get into the fights. The scene fades out with Josh saying, “That was a good throw, though.” The cut isn’t bad and it won’t affect Josh’s participation in the fight, which, I’m sure, was everyone’s initial concern. In the first season, all of these things would have exploded into window-punching fiascos. They might yet, if someone pisses Ed Herman off badly enough. But where the hell did they find all of these nice, easy-going, badly tattooed men?
At Home – Later
Josh says he wants to go home, and yet, he knows he has to stay so he can become a fighter. He shows his photo album around, which contains photographs of his wife and children. His wife is just lovely in the picture they show. Apparently, they’ve been together since they were 16, so that’s going on 13 years. His video interview during this segment is very intense. He’s crying, talking about how his children are everything to him. He talks about his son’s illness and how it inspires him to never, ever quit. Apparently his youngest son, Thor (yes, Thor. I can’t decide if that’s badass or weird, but hey, I’m down with Thor. If I was a dude, I’d name my son Thor, if only because it would imply that I’m Odin. He’s totally my third-favorite deity.), developed a huge tumor on his brain stem. He was told that his son wouldn’t live, and, if he did, he’d be incapable of speaking and walking. Apparently, after a 12 hour surgery, Thor came out fine, and he’s still fine. There’s plenty of this detailed on his MySpace. Josh says that he wins fights to “put food on the table for that kid who never quit.” The whole story is touching and Josh tells it in a way that’s so sincere and emotional. He’s clearly a very dedicated man and it’s easy to believe he could do anything he wanted to.
At Home – Morning
Tait calls Jesse “sweetheart” and says that he’s just in the house to have fun and relax and do whatever. He eats a chocolate bar. He says his motivation for the fight is that Josh loves his kids so much, so his strategy is to tap Josh quick so he can go home and see his babies.
Fight Day
Josh says the matchup is designed for him to beat Tait. He says the fight is bigger than just him and bigger than just his family: it’s for every dad who says “Hey, I can do that,” like he did.
In a very bizarre bit of editing, Josh’s video interview bit says, “I’m gonna beat the f*ck out of you and do everything I can to send you home in a wooden box.” Whoa. Mr. I-Love-My-Son-Warm-And-Fuzzy-YAY got all hardcore. In any case, it seemed pretty out-of-character and like just another one of those things fighters say for their promos, and Haynes disclaimed it in a post on the official TUF forums, saying he doesn’t wish harm on his opponents.
The Fight!
They circle around, scoping each other out for a minute. Then they start grappling. Josh is in Tait’s guard. Josh lifts Tait up and slams him a bit, but it doesn’t do anything for him. They stand back up eventually and start boxing. Ken: “Don’t box with him! Shoot! Go low! Take him down!” They start grappling against the cage and Tait throws knees. When they break that up and return to neutral, Josh starts throwing punches hard and fast like a crazy person, and Tait backs up quickly to, you guessed it, the fence. On the fence, Tait works a choke. That doesn’t work out, and they wind up back in neutral position, and once again begin boxing. Ken, once again, screams “Don’t box with him!”
The round ends.
Yes, the round. That means we actually get a fight that goes into the second round.
During the break, Ken tells Tait that the clinch is working for him. Tito mutters something about “knees to inside, overhand elbows” while Rory tells Josh “I’m looking at this picture [of Thor] that says ‘Never quit.’ NEVER EVER QUIT.” All through his teeth and in a rather terrifying manner.
Round Two
They begin circling, again. Tait clinches and throws knees. Back to neutral and “Don’t box with him!” They grapple on the cage for a bit and everyone on the outside of the octagon is screaming. Tait keeps throwing and hitting knees. Tait gets a takedown and Josh is in his guard. Tait works a triangle but nothing happens. He works everything he can, and nothing can seem to catch Josh. The closest he comes is rolling over into an armbar, and while the tussle busts Josh’s nose, he avoids the submission. Tait gets on top of Josh and throws elbows from the side mount. Tait works a rear naked choke and Josh just continues to stand right up out of his submission attempts.
Back to standing, Josh gets what looks, initially, like a knockdown on Tait, and he follows up on it. Tait seems to be pretty coherent, though, and it looks more like a baiting technique to get Josh on the mat. Tait finally locks in a triangle and throws elbows to Josh’s head. The round ends.
Intense, right? We’ve gone to the end of the second round. Everyone is certain that the first round went to Josh and the second round went to Tait and there’s no question that the judges have scored it a draw, warranting a third-round sudden death match. Everyone gets prepared to fight again. Mark Ratner says, “Wait.” Dana White says, “WTF?” There’s a split decision. The fight is over. No third round.
Unsurprisingly, Tito shouts to Josh that he won while Ken tells Tait he must have won. Tito compares the fight to a cat and dog cartoon fight, where they’re scrapping and all you see is dirt. Dana says the fight should have been a draw, and Ken thought Tait had the fight won.
The judges score the fight:
20-18 Tait
20-18 Josh
20-18 Josh
The winner is Josh Haynes, and Tait Fletcher is eliminated.
Ken and Tito exchange words, involving Tito flaunting his team’s 5-1 record. Ken says Tito got lucky. Afterward, Ken is laughing as he says “We can’t get a break,” but he seems pretty distraught. Talking to Tait, Ken is baffled as to the result of the fight. Ken says that he’s never lost this many fights in a row before, but he believes they’ll come back.
Josh says there are only a few times he’s felt this good: “When I married my wife, when I found out my son was going to live, and right now.”
Tito in a video interview says that Ken is “washed up” and “stuck in the past” and that he should “let the new generation come up. And the new generation is me.”
Tait says that he feels great, and even though he lost, it was still only by split decision, and he felt like he won the fight. Tait says it’s a privilege just to fight.
Be sure to tune in next week to witness the murder of Danny Abbadi by one angry Ed Herman.
The Teams
Team Ortiz
Middleweights: Danny Abbadi, Rory Singer, Kendall Groves.
Light Heavyweights: Matt Hamill, Michael Bisping, Josh Haynes.
Team Shamrock
Middleweights: Kalib Starnes, Ed Herman.
Light Heavyweights: Mike Nickels, Jesse Forbes
