InsidePulse Rasslin Roundtable: WWE Judgement Day
– PK is gone.
Melina vs. Jillian Hall
Mark Neeley: If this doesn’t get changed to bra & panties, nobody will care. Not that they normally would anyway, but people want to see Melina’s ass. Since Melina one her last token SmackDown PPV women’s match (over Torrie at GAB 05), I’ll give this one to face Jillian.
Winner – The arena’s merch/concession vendors
Eric Szulczewski: Hall is a wrestler. Perez sorta kinda wrestles. Hall is the face who’s getting no response, but should get something out of this feud. Perez has the roof blow off every time she shows a little chooch. Pussy wins, every time, especially when her charges are going to be dropping their titles.
Winner – Melina
Matthew Michaels: PB&J shall reign supreme!
Winner – Jillian
Gordi: It would make sense to let the heels get one more cheap win by cheating or interference to continue the MNM vs. PB&J feud leading into their title match.
Winner – Melina
Michaelangelo McCullar: No one cares.
Winner – Fuck it, flip a coin. Melina.
Dan Hevia: See McCullar, M.
Winner – Plastic surgeons all over the world.
Danny Wallace: It’ll be a nice change to see a decent women’s match that doesn’t involve Trish, Mickie or Victoria.
Winner – Melina
Vinny Truncellito: I think MNM is about to get shaken up. They’ll drop the straps, and their manager will lose to the other chick on SmackDown.
Winner — Jillian Hall
Dwayne: The majority of the people watching this match
probably think it will be good, because Jillian Hall &
Melina use to put on some awesome matches down in OVW.
This is not OVW, this is the WWE where wrestling means
a five or four minute catfight. Hey, I just did all
that ranting and I still don’t even know who the
winner is going to be! Bottom line: WE’RE ALL WINNERS!
Winner- Melina
Chris Benoit vs. Fit Finlay
Mark Neeley: Since this match is just to conclude a minor feud that started with Finlay cheating to win his KOTR match against Benoit, it’s hard to predict who they’ll give the win to. Some people are predicting a MOTYC here, but if it goes anything like the KOTR SmackDown match, I have high doubts about that. Sadly, this one might pull opening duty.
Winner – Fit Finlay
Eric Szulczewski: Frankly, this is one of those matches where it’s irrelevant who wins. Give it twenty, and the real winners will be the audience. But, dammit, I still want Regal in there with them.
Winner – Benoit by DQ, but the f*cking leprechaun had better not show up.
Matthew Michaels: From what I understand, Finlay will have a new… “sidekick” debuting pretty soon. Would they do that at the PPV, or let them have a nice, hard-hitting, kickass match?
Winner – Finlay
Gordi: I am so happy that these two are going to fight on PPV. This is exactly what it takes to get me watching WWE again.
Winner – Benoit
Michaelangelo McCullar: Ah, a match that makes the geek in all of us salivate. Give these two twenty minutes and they’ll script a ballet of pain. Unfortunately, they’ll be lucky to get ten, and we’ll all feel like we paid $20 for a blowjob from some skanky crack whore with no teeth and an open sore on her lip.
Winner – Benny
Dan Hevia: Yum yum funky match! They will beat the living hell out of people and everyone will enjoy it until…Finlays new leprchaun hits the ring and gives him the win.
Winner – Finlay and his lucky charm.
Danny Wallace: Wooo… can’t wait for this match. Lovely stiff brawling and brutal wrestling holds-a-plenty. ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! (Anybody who watches Scrubs… I love you). This should be a possible MOTN no questions asked. Apart from us fine wrestling folk, the winner is a really tough choice. Do they let Benoit get his revenge over Finlay this quick, or do they let Finlay pick up a victory to extend the feud a little longer? My moneys on Finlay.
Winner – Finlay
Vinny Truncellito: Where do they go with this? Are they actually attempting to elevate Finlay, rather than using him to elevate guys like Bobby Lashley and Gunner Scott? I’ll bet Gunner plays into this somehow.
Winner — Finlay, leading to a huge showdown in the future
Dwayne: Benoit gets his win back and sparks some much needed
interest in the PPV at the same time. It’s always fun
when tough technial fight for my amusement. Oh yeah,
best match on the card.
Winner – Chris Beniot
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy
Mark Neeley: You’d think with the ECW emergence that now would be the right time to take the Cruiserweight belt off of Helms and put it on an ECW alumni in Crazy. I enjoyed Helms run as dominant CW champ run, but now they will probably slap him into a gimmick.
Winner – Super Crazy
Eric Szulczewski: It all depends on whether or not they want to do the obvious Three-Way Dance between Crazy, Nunzio, and Tajiri at ONS as a title match. It would add a little cachet to the match if they did…in fact, let the title stipulation be forced on to the ONS card. That way, it’ll be something for Heyman to object to when he takes ECW renegade (“You couldn’t be happy enough with this being ECW, could you, Vince? You had to put a WWE Cruiserweight Title Match on the show just to show that you own us!”). Just the mere thought of that makes me want to throw the match a certain way. The fact that I don’t like Helms just gives the throw more force, and I am good at vector calculus.
Winner and New Champion – Super Crazy
Matthew Michaels: It’s not time for Helms to drop the belt yet. He’s finally back from his injury, and the rumor is that Super Crazy will be heading to either RAW or ECW pretty soon, and I don’t think they’ll be moving the CW belt at this point. I’m picking The Miz to be the one to finally unseat Helms, for better or worse. HOORAH.
Winner – Helms
Gordi: I though Helms had already lost the belt. I guess I’m not paying close enough attention.
Winner – Super Crazy
Michaelangelo McCullar: Tis the season for cynicism due to obvious booking. Hmm, what’s just a few weeks around the corner? That’s right, boys and girls, One Night Stand Part Deux! And what better way to ring in the festivities than giving someone who made their bones in ECDub a title? Here’s hoping these two can make something entertaining, but I doubt it.
Winner – ¡Loco Estupendo!
Dan Hevia: Like I always start out saying with the cruisers: If they give them enough time…yadda yadda yadda. They’ll have a brief match and Super Crazy will pick up the win.
Winner – Super Crazy
Danny Wallace: The match I’m most looking forward to tonight is this little beauty right here. Let them go for 15-20 minutes spot fest and I’ll be a happy bunny. I don’t think having Super Crazy win the title is a good idea though, however if he does win I’m betting he’ll take it to ECW when that eventually kicks off.
Winner – Gregory Helms
Vinny Truncellito: Screw predictions and analysis. I like Helms. ‘Nuff said.
Winner — Gregory Helms
Dwayne: Super Crazy would make a much more exciting
and charismatic Champion than Helms would. Give these
guys ten minutes to let them do their stuff. These
guys should have a decent amount of chemistry. This
will probably be the third or forth best match on the
card. Crazy simply has more places he can go with the
title than Helms does right now. That’s why…
Winner – Super Crazy
Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
Mark Neeley: Just as unappealing as it was at the Rumble, when it was actually for something. Mizark’s contract is up soon, give Angle the win, or die.
Winner – Our Hero
Eric Szulczewski: Angle’s barely able to stand right now. He desperately needs time off to heal. He already has kayfabe injuries that will allow him to not look weak. You know what that means: stretcher job.
Winner – Mark Henry, unless they DQ Henry for excessive violence
Matthew Michaels: Wow I have no idea. Do they use this as yet another reason to keep Kurt out of action, or is Angle back from nursing his injuries? I can’t see them putting Henry over here, but then again, I didn’t think they’d have put him over the Champ clean either.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Gordi: I actually like this match-up. I think that they play off of each other’s strengths pretty well. Still, they never should have headlined the Royal Rumble, and that match was not very good at all. Maybe this one will be better.
Winner – Kurt
Michaelangelo McCullar – What did Kurt do to piss off the McMahons? Because facing Mark Henry has to be punishment of some sort.
Winner – Kurt (provided Mark doesn’t permanatly cripple him)
Dan Hevia: Funny, Mark Henry is like the Wellness Program’s muscle. Just put him in there with anyone on drugs or in danger of dying and hell make SURE they are out a few months. Kurt, we hardly knew ye.
Winner – Mark Henry and Memorial Hospital
Danny Wallace: I think this will surprise a few people and be an interesting, WRESTLING match. I’m hoping Kurt carries Henry to a decent match, and as long as they don’t go at too quick a pace, Henry will be able to keep up and be made to look like a million bucks when he goes over.
Winner – Mark Henry
Dwayne: Ugh….yeah. I think its obvious who’s going
to win this match. Why couldn’t Mark Henry just leave
Kurt Angle alone, so he could participate in the KOTR
tournament? Think of it this way, if you stick Angle
in there against Booker you’ve a got a possible ***1/2
or **** match on your hands. The least you could
expect to get out of a guy like Lashley would be a *,
*1/2, 1/2*, **, or **1/2 match.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Undertaker vs. The Great Khali
Mark Neeley: The magic question, will Taker put this guy over? As much as I try I just cannot picture a clean job by Taker here. Daivari interference? Maybe, but to draw a DQ, not give Khali the win.
Winner – The Ping Pong Player via DQ
Eric Szulczewski: Piss break! And somehow I believe the rumors about them shipping Singh either back down or completely out. By the way, notice the total lack of UT involvement in this feud? No video cut-ins, no voiceovers? That’s why I believe those rumors.
Winner – Mister Part-Time Feature Attraction
Matthew Michaels: Uhm…
Winner – Taker
Gordi: Yikes. I hope they end this one quickly. If they give it any time at all it could be worse than ‘Taker vs. Thirdenreich from last year’s Survivor Series.
Winner – ‘Taker
Michaelangelo McCullar: Fucking shoot me now.
Winner – UT
Dan Hevia: After I shoot McCullar, please take the gun from me and shoot me.
Winner – UT
Danny Wallace: With the good, always comes bad. I honestly couldn’t care less about Khali. I think Khali will win here, then get his comeuppance at SummerSlam. Which will hopefully be the last time we see Khali inside a WWE ring.
Winner – Khali
Vinny Truncellito: If ‘Taker gets to take a month off anytime he wants, just to come back and put an immediate end to the threat, he’s worse backstage than I realized. Khali needs to go over in this one to establish himself as a legitimate monster, but I doubt he’ll be allowed to. Still, I’ll hope for the best”¦
Winner — Khali
Dwayne: The Great Shitter is in this match. Who cares
who wins this match?
Winner – UNDERRRRAYYYRRRRER
WWE Tag Team Championshipship
MNM (Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercury) vs. The HooliganZ (Paul London & Brian Kendrick)
Mark Neeley: Have they ever actually went by the name HooliganZ? The second title change of the night, unless they continue to draw out this feud, then have London and Kendrick win the belts.
Winners – The HooliganZ
Eric Szulczewski: Time to get the straps off of MNM, methinks. This is pretty much their only opportunity to do so. What to do then? Simple, really. Cade and Murdoch are pretty much reunited due to their mutual problems with Goldust and Snitsky. But the freaks are now feuding with the Spirit Squad, so that undercuts that situation. Get the Draft going, get Cade and Murdoch over to Smackdown, and have them feud with Team Twink Porn into SummerSlam.
Winners and New Champions – Abercrombie and Fitch
Matthew Michaels: It’s time for Paul & Brian to get the gold. London keeps getting screwed out of title runs, beit due to complaining about having to “tone down” his style and getting punished, tag-team partners getting hurt, or otherwise. And both of these guys were trained by Shawn Michaels, who seems to be in pretty good standing with the creative team lately, so, one can hope… Plus, I expect to see Melina and Jillian involved in some capacity.
Winners – HooliganZ
Gordi: After WrestleMania, I complained at length that Tag Team wrestling was dead. Now, WWE are giving us lengthy NWA-style face in peril old school tag matches. I am happy to have been proven wrong. Very happy.
Winners – PB&J
Michaelangelo McCullar: Wow, whodathunkit? Some old-school booking? You mean, there’s actually a storyline where someone’s fighting someone else because they want the belt? You mean, there’s no necrophilia or child abuse or penis envy involved here? Are you sure this is WWE?
Winner – The Hooliganz
Dan Hevia: Wait, they still have tag titles? Well, apparently there is some heat on Melina or someone out of MNM, so I’d guess they’ll drop the straps here.
Winner – Holliganz
Danny Wallace: This is shaping up to be a pretty decent PPV, Undertaker-Khali match aside. The Hooliganz have been on a roll as of late, so unless the creative team are as thick as the guy who I work with who put an Iron on his face (to see if it was hot), then look for MNM to drop the straps. It’s about time for a change.
Winner – The Hooliganz
Dwayne: THIS IS WHY I’M PAYING THIRTY-FIVE HARD EARNED
BUCKS TO SEE THIS PPV! I have been rooting for K&L
ever since they scored the first upset over MNM in a
non-title match on SD! I desperately want to see them
win the gold. MNM are getting stale as Champions. It’s
time to freshen up the division a little. Besides, MNM
will eventually get their titles back, but until then
the only contenders for the gold are Spanky & London.
LONDON AND KENDRICK ALL THE WAY! This is going to be a
tremendous match. I CAN’T WAIT, I’M PUMPED!
Winner – London & Kendrick
King of the Ring Tournament Final
Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley
Mark Neeley: I have really last all interest whatsoever in this tournament. Not that I ever anticipated much, with the Angle injury and Orton suspension, leaving guys like Lashley and Henry to carry the show. As for this finish, I originally predicted Lashley getting the token “I’m big” push like Lesnar got when he won the KOTR. On the other side, Booker hasn’t been pushed since about WrestleMania 19. As much as I would like to see King Booker, the fresh guy goes over here.
Winner – Bobby Lashley
Eric Szulczewski: I shall stick with my prediction that I made prior to the tournament, since my predictions have pretty much come true up to this point. Booker’s gonna make Lashley look damn good.
Winner and King of the Ring – Bobby Lashley
Matthew Michaels: King Booker has been projected, hasn’t it? But how do you let a relatively old wrestler stop your hot, younger guy’s unpinned streak? Well, this is WWE so…
Winner – Booker T — NO WAIT, I changed my mind. Batista will interfere, and Lashley will win. Ah, well, I guess no fun King T skits…
Gordi: The grumpy old fan in me missses the days where the whole tournament was played out in a single PPV. Still, this shouldn’t be a bad final, and Lashley isn’t a bad choice for King.
Winner – King Lashley
Michaelangelo McCullar: And once again the obvious booking rears its head here. I mean, you couldn’t book two up and comers in this slot? Why not just skip straight to the coronation ceremony and spare us the pain of actually watching the match?
Winner – Bobby Lashley
Dan Hevia: Following the words of Scooter: “Two people of the same race will invariably either feud or team with a year of their debut.” See Lashley, B and T, B…HAHAHHAA Tuberculosis!
Winner – Lashley
Danny Wallace: I’d love a Batista run in to cost Booker the victory, but I doubt that will happen. It’s too soon for Lashley, so I’d give it to Booker.
Winner: Booker T
Vinny Truncellito: This is the only match on the card so far that really made me stop and think. The obvious call is that they’re making Booker T seem SO confident in his victory that there’s no chance he’ll be crowned King. However, enough people today can recognize the pattern, so the only true swerve would be to actually give it to Booker. I really think Lashley could springboard to the next level as the first King of the Ring in several years, but you can never tell anymore what Creative is thinking.
Winner — Bobby Lashley
Dwayne: Booker T would make a better KOTR simply
because he has more ability and more personality than
Lashley. There are just too many reasons why Booker
should win. Chief among them is there’s no way Lashley
should be wrestling for the title yet, which is what
most King of the Ring winners get to do, right?
Besides, Batista’s on the way back, and for some
strange reason, I sense a Booker-Batista title match
in the future.
Winner – CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
BOOKER T.
World Heavyweight Championship
World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio vs. United States Champion JBL
Mark Neeley: All signs are pointing towards a JBL win here, most notably because Mysterio needs time off due to injuries. We also at some point need a heel to take over for when Batista comes back. And THEN we still have the theory of JBL/RVD at One Night Stand 2. I gave up on that one, but I still say JBL gets it here. Possibly a new Cabinet member debuting.
Winner – JBL
Eric Szulczewski: Gee, spoilers suck, huh? We all know Rey-Rey’s hurt and will be taking time off after this, so therefore the result is obvious. Unfortunately, it means that every strap in contention is traded off (to add to the inexplicable IC belt swap on Raw), but, hey, that’s what I predicted for Wrestlemania, and that didn’t happen, so I’ll take another shot at it. After this, they’d better pull the trigger on Van Dam/High-Quality Speaker Boy for ONS, or I’m going to go on a rampage and command Wallace to do the same thing across the pond.
Winner and New World Champion – High-Quality Speaker Boy
Matthew Michaels: Rey HAS to win this otherwise the past three weeks of squashes make him, and therefore the title, a joke. That being said, JBL with TWO belts seems like … GOLD to me, so I’m not sure what WWE will do. Oh wait, yes I am: Rey wins here, and drops the belt to Bradshaw a few days later.
Winner – Mysterio
Gordi: If, three years ago, you had predicted that many wrestling fans would be pulling for Bradshaw to beat Rey Rey for the world title in 2006, nobody would have believed you.
Winner – JBL
Michaelangelo McCullar: It was a nice little run, Rey Rey, but your chariot has officially turned into a pumpkin.
Winner – JBL
Dan Hevia: What chariot, McCullar? More like the low rider bicycle that he shouldn’t have taken the training wheels off of in the first place. Yes, he should’ve gotten the title but damn, what a crappy run.
Winner – JBL
World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio vs. United States Champion JBL
Danny Wallace: All signs point to a JBL victory here. Who am I to ignore them?
Winner – JBL
Vinny Truncellito: Big Dave is on his way back soon, so they’ll need a heel world champ for him to chase. Plus, Rey’s had his run and savored in the glory, now it’s time to move on.
Winner — JBL
Dwayne: JBL has been softening up Rey Mysterio by
pitting him up against monsters he can’t stand toe to
toe with, and subsequently he gets jobbed. Last week,
The Great Shitter destroyed Rey, with Rey only getting
in one move on offense, and then had the nerve to pin
him by placing his boot on his chest. What does that
say about your WHC? However, JBL already has a title,
so why does he need another one? The fact that they’re
booking a match between Rey and JBL shows how depleted
their roster is, although they still have a good
undercard. This match will be a trainwreck, and not a
good one. Rey has just been booked terribly ever since
he won the title at WM. Booked like the lowest jobber
in the company. It doesn’t get any much more worse
than that. Its hard for me to say this, but I just
can’t picture him retaining the WHC.
Winner – JBL
Wildcard: Will ECW make an appearence?
Mark Neeley: Can’t imagine there would be any relevance at all in doing it here on a SmackDown PPV, with the roster not even full yet and with all the major stuff going on over at Raw with Foley, Dreamer, Funk ect.
Eric Szulczewski: No. Not a chance. There’s no one on Smackdown that’s in the same position as Van Dam or Foley to do something with an anticipatory ECW angle, unless it has to do with Tazz, and I don’t think they’ll do anything with him at this point.
Matthew Michaels: Nah.
Danny Wallace: Nope.
Vinny Truncellito: Not yet. They’ll get through this show first before starting the [ahem] invasion.
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That’s all for the IP staff’s picks on Judgement Day. Be sure to drop your own in our reader’s forum, and click back to InsidePulse for live coverage of the event!
