The Neeldown: WWF Capital Carnage 1998
This here is another UK Show, from London, available only though Sky Box Office.
– From London, England
– Hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler
Gangrel v. Al Snow
This isn’t exactly an opener to get the juices flowing, but whatever. Snow rolls him up to start then works an armbar. Gangrel grabs a headlock and takes him down and they botch a leapfrog where Snow doesn’t jump over him all the way. Ugly. Snow slugs him down and gets a high crossbody for two. Gangrel gets a DDT to go in control, then gets some of his usual stuff. Russian sweep gets two.
Snow gets a floatover suplex for two but misses the moonsault and Gangrel gives him an exploder suplex for two. Gangrel? An exploder? He is bringing the moveset! Snow gets a sloppy tornado DDT but Christian has the ref distracted. Snow grabs Head and wacks Gangrel with it, but Edge gives him a missile dropkick giving Gangrel the pin. Actually not bad until the clustered ending, but bleh. **
Winner: Gangrel
– Micky Foley lets us know that this is the coldest boiler room he has ever been in.
Legion of Doom v. The Headbangerz
Winner gets a shot at the Outlaws. Hawk takes down Droz so he tags in Thrasher who is sporting the Marilyn Manson muscle shirt attire. Droz comes back in and they work on isolating Hawk for a while. Animal gets the not so hot tag and cleans house. Droz pushes his partner out to try a switcheroo but gets rolled up for the pin. Why this would go on a major show, or a UK event, whatever you want to call it, is beyond me. LOD brawl afterwards. -**
Winner: The Headbangerz
– Undertaker says that he will put Austin on display publicly, then send him to the hounds of hell.
Val Venis v. Goldust
This is the whole “I got Terri Runnels pregnant” storyline, just so you know. Goldust jumps him to start, and takes him outside where he feeds him to the steps. Back in Goldust gets a slam. Venis tries rolling the snake eyes,
but Goldust slams him back down and gives him the ASS CLOBBER. The return! Venis clotheslines him out of the corner for two, then gives him the running knees and Russian leg sweep. Goldust fights back with a bulldog for two, but he runs into a spinebuster by Venis that gets two. Venis tries a crossbody but Goldust rolls through for two. Fisherman’s Buster gets two. Goldust gives him the HEADBUT TO THE CROTCH OF DEATH and tries the Shattered Dreams, but Venis pulls the ref in to block it, then cradles him for the win. For a short little match, this wasn’t too bad, although the storyline makes it seem all the less entertaining. **1/2
Winner: Val Venis
– We see clips of Vince McMahon giving a speech at some UK university. Feel the inspiration.
– Vince McMahon, son Shane, Gerald Brisco and the Corporation come out to do a rant on the stage about how Hunter Hearst Helmsley will be facing Jeff Jarrett tonight, and talks about Vinny Jones. The typical stereotypical “Great Britain fans wish they were America” rant follows, with Vince predicting that the future of Great Britain with be a sessile governed by a Pakistan leader. Winston Churchill must be flipping in his grave. This actually goes on for roughly 20 minutes, which is f*cking ridiculous.
Tiger Ali Singh v. Edge
Edge takes him down into an armbar to start then gets a pair of dropkicks forcing Sing to bail. Edge hauls him back in and crotches him over the post. Singh tries begging him off, but Edge takes him down and gets a missile dropkick, Singh gets the rope. Edge tries a high crossbody but Singh catches him and slams him down, then puts his feet on the ropes to get the win. Tiger did approximately one move in that match, so -*
Winner: Tiger Ali Singh
– Vinny Jones comes out to set the record street with a Michael Cole interview. Vinny says that he is going to knock Vince out. He says he has been provoked and will fight anybody.
Marc Mero & Jacqueline v. Christian & The Tramp
Jackie tackles her partner before the match starts. “She is hot! She is healthy!” exclaims JR on Sable’s entrance. Christian takes Mero down to start, as JR wonders if King has been back on the Viagra bottle. Christian depants Flair, I mean Mero. Mero fights back, but falls victim to the vicious martial arts kick by Sable. Christian gets dumped to the apron, but he goes up and gets a crossbody. Tim White is distracted with the catfight outside. Mero gets a samoan drop and pulls up the boxing shorts, for good measures. He goes up but gets crotched, which Christian adds to with an atomic drop and spin kick. Sable comes in and gives Mero the heavily assisted SABLE BOMB OF DOOM, then takes out Jackie for good measure. Mero and Christian brawl to the back as Sable pummels Jackie and gets the TKO for the win. This was your usual cookie cutter mixed tag, with the depantising in there and all. Afterwards is the infamous incident where Jacqueline’s knockers flop out while on top of Tim White’s shoulders. That is the only reason people remember Capital Carnage. 1/2*
Winners: Christian & The Tramp
Ken Shamrock v. Steve Blackman – Intercontinental Championship
They exchange jumping each other to start and go back and fourth. A bunch of lariats and slams are exchanged. Shamrock turns him inside out with a reverse elbow and works him over on the apron. Blackman cradles him for two, but Shamrock pummels him again in the corner. Shamrock gets a leg lariat for two. Big Bossman is floating around ringside too, for the record. Shamrock pulls him into a facelock then gets a running knee lift. Blackman fights his way back and gets a spinebuster. Blackman takes the time to baseball slide Bossman, who had not interfered at all, so Bossman strikes him on the ankle with the BATON OF DOOM allowing Shamrock to lock in the Ankle Lock, tap out. Slow. *1/2
Winner: Ken Shamrock
– Michael Cole wonders about The Rock’s opponent X-Pac. The Rock says it would be funny if he pulled Cole’s eyelids over his head and watched him run around like an idiot.
Jeff Jarrett v. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
HHH takes him down with a headlock to start and snapmares him to keep a hold on it. Jarrett escapes but runs right into a spinebuster for two. Jarrett gives him an elbow sending him to the floor, where he follows by skinning the cat and getting a high crossbody, but HHH rolls through two. Jarrett gives him a single-arm DDT and shouts “that’s how you do it right there.” Debra adds some cheap choking and Jarrett gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Jarrett goes with the sleeper trick, but HHH escapes the three arm drop and suplexes out of it. Jarrett ducks three clotheslines, but falls victim to the WRATH OF KNEE by HHH. Jarrett counters the Pedigree and tries a catapult but HHH catches himself to prevent it. Back to the knee with a facebuster goes Hunter, then he clotheslines him to the floor. Chyna has the ref distracted as Debra tries seducing HHH. HHH tells her to suck it. Jarrett comes in with a chair but Debra has the ref distracted. Talk about being realistic. HHH nails the Pedigree for the win. Not bad, really, but could have done without the sleeper. **1/2
Winner: Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Big Chocolate v. The New Age Outlaws – Tag Team Championship
D’Lo slugs Road Dogg down to start and gets a knee lariat. Dogg gets the punches forcing D’Lo to bail and regroup. Kip does the same, throwing punches to the chest. Um, isn’t that what the CHEST PROTECTOR is for? D’Lo gives him the hateful “up yours” counter to the “suck it.” Now I know why this was 1998. Henry already locks in the BEARHUG OF DOOM, his first move since being tagged into the match, and as well one of the only moves of the offensive variety on his set. A double dropkick from the Outlaws take Henry down, then we get some more taunting and more regrouping from the blacks.
Can’t they even keep a steady PACE in this? Brown goes in control and gets the spinebuster, followed by a Henry legdrop and splash, Gunn saves the pin. We’re back to the “everybody lay down for a while” stage and we wind up with a double-KO. Gunn tries a cradle for no cigar. Gunn then hits the Dumbasser on Brown to get the pin. If this one wasn’t as slow and boring to the point where I would rather watch the mixed tag match, I might cut it some leeway, but nope. The non-Rock portion of the Corporation proved just how boring they can be. ½*
Winners: The New Age Outlaws
The Rock v. X-Pac – WWF Championship
Rock slugs on him to start but X-Pac gets a pair of hiptosses into an armbar. Rock then does an interesting sequence of going off all the ropes like six times before being leveled by a lariat. If all that, shouldn’t Rock actually get a move in? X-Pac stops for some chanting and gives him three spin kicks, forcing Rock to bail. JR is getting way too excited, way too early. Rock gets a microphone and let’s us know he is done with this match, but his ramp walk meets a roadblock when HHH and Chyna come out. X-Pac misses the bronco buster and Rock gives him a neckbreaker for two. Rock grabs JR’s “beverage,” which I can’t specify, some kind of silver soda can, pours some on Pac then grabs a REAR CHOKE OF DEATH back inside. It’s X-Pac heat vs Rocky heat! X-Pac gets out but falls victim to a knee lariat and a low blow for two. JR notes the great resilience of X-Pac after that fatal low blow. How many matches have you seen END via low blow, James? Rock gets the Corporate Elbow but only for two. Rock tries the Rock Bottom but HHH sneaks in a low blow giving Pac a schoolboy for two. Heel kick gets two. Pac tries a high crossbody but Rock rolls through and gets two. Highway robbery, if you ask Jim Ross. Rock sends Pac into the ref then takes care of pesky HHH at ringside. He tries a belt shot, but misses and gets leveled by HHH for two. A little too early on the kickout however, as it doesn’t look so dramatic when you kick out right at two off of a belt shot. This time the bronco buster is successful, but HHH gets greedy and decides to take The Rock out, drawing a DQ and leaving England the champ, as if there weren’t a doubt about it. Corporation henchmen Shamrock tries to make the save but is unsuccessful. Shit ending, good match. ***1/4
Winner: The Rock
– Yet more Shane and Patterson rambling gets the fast forward honor. Big Bossman is your special guest referee for the main event, or was, because now Vinny Jones makes the save to take him out but gets the RED CARD OF DOOM from Earl Hebner. I guess officiating in professional wrestling is like officiating soccer, too.
Steve Austin v. Undertaker v. Kane v. Mankind
Kane and Mankind start brawling before Austin or UT’s entrances. This was at the time of the demon bells intro to the funky rock beat of Taker’s theme music. Taker and Kane double team Mankind and give him the Chokeslam quickly, then Taker turns on his brother and tosses him, as well as Mick. Austin makes his way out and he and UT brawl on the ramp. Now they switch and Austin takes Mankind as the other two brawl. Austin pounds on Taker inside and chokes him with his own vest. UT however comes back with the leg drop for two. Yeah but the key question, will the SHOVEL OF DEATH come into play once more? Austin takes Taker down but gets pulled off by Kane. UT chokes Mankind with a cable wire, Kane returns the favor, Austin chokes Kane. It’s CIRCUIT CITY! Oh man that was a bad joke. Um, have they let either Kane or Mankind get ANY type of offense in yet? Back inside we continue the trainwreck and UT is in control of everybody. Austin blocks Old School with the rope crotch and he and Mankind double team Kane. Mankind offers Austin a handshake, so Austin kindly returns the favor with a Stunner, or tries to anyway, but Foley blocks it and gets the Mandible Claw. Kane breaks that up quickly, and goes to work on Austin. UT and Kane team up on Austin and give him a Chokeslam. Mankind joins in and makes it a triple-team, but the brothers turn on him. Austin stupidly tries the pin, with a brother standing there on each side of him. Kane tries a piledriver on Austin but Mankind breaks that up. Mankind gets a chair and wacks Kane in the back with it, but UT takes it from him and wacks him with it for two after Austin broke up the pin with his own chair wack. Evil ref Brisco refuses to count Austin’s pin, and he gets tombstoned as a result. Austin blocks the Chokeslam though and gets the Stunner, but Brisco asks if the time limit is up. Austin takes care of Brisco, but walks into a Chokeslam. Kane gets one too. No referee, though. Hebner comes in, but the pin only gets two. Stunner on Kane ends things, as apparently the other two were too worn out on the outside to prevent that. Decently fun trainwreck match here. ***1/2
Winner: Steve Austin
End of show.
