Tuesday Night – Final Performances
The Tuesday night finale was pretty crappy. The debut single songs were so hideous that I was embarrassed for both Kat & Taylor for having to learn them and sing them with conviction. Though Kat looked as though she had just won the Miss America Pageant, she didn’t have her game on, Taylor did. This could have been a factor in predicting the outcome. Or was it already predicted before the finals even started?
Round – 1
Kat – Black Horse & A Cherry Tree
I still think she sings it better than KT. Great
Taylor – See you and your purple velvet jacket in Vegas baby!
Round – 2
Kat – Somewhere Over The Rainbow
She knew she was unstoppable with this one. She was a shoe-in to get great remarks. But can we talk about her necklace? Stunning. I want one. Surprised Pauler didn’t ask her if she can use it in her QVC collection!
Taylor – Levon
Pitchy. Boring. Randy so got it right on this one. Let’s Levon that song to Elton.
Round – 3
Kat – My Destiny
Kat’s entrance was breathtaking. Her silhouette was stunning. Her song SUCKED!
Worst. Song. Ever.
Taylor – Do I Make You Proud
Sounded like it was written by 2 billy goats on a farm. Yuk. Bet it will be bigger on the country charts than anything else.
Audience: Taye Diggs! Show him again! Then cut to Ace…then back to Taye…I can watch this all night! I think Pickles makes a great Oopma Loompa. Is that Mystic Tan?
Even though I voted for Kat all night, I knew before going into the competition that Taylor has this country locked.
Wednesday Night – The Finale
Who knew this finale would be so awesome?!?!
First, the 12 finalists came out dressed in white with reigning Idol, Carrie Underwood. I think collectively, they all looked like insane asylum escapees. The funniest moment of the season was when they were done singing, they cut to the audience and there’s Bucky in the crowd… when he was just on stage. Oh, wait! That’s his twin brother, Rocky! Sad, how I knew that.
Paris sang with Al Jarreau. Al, looked like an embalmed mess, and attempted to cover it up by donning a beanie to look like Ace. You know Paris was so happy to be singing with him. Apparently, Al is her idol. So as Ryan announced that Chris would be singing with his idols, I knew it would be Live. How amazing was that? You know that was the highlight of his life. But here’s where I got confused. McPhee with Meatloaf? Say what? Are you trying to tell me that Meatloaf is her Idol? Of all people she could choose to sing with… “Kat, would you like Christina Aguilera? Whitney Houston? Tori Amos?”… “I think I’d like to sing with Meatloaf.” Was this a PSA for Parkinsons? Then we had Elliott singing “One”. Could it be that U2 will pop onto the stage? No chance in hell. Instead, we got the great Mary J. Blige. Amazing. Taylor sang with Toni Braxton was great. Though I doubt that Toni is his idol and now I’m feeling better about McPhee’s “idol”, Mr. Loaf.
Smattered throughout the show was the introduction of food (other than biscuits and gravy) to our favorite little minx, Pickles, by chef to the stars, Wolfgang Puck. Now, Wolfie has a great sense of humor so you know he would be really good with Pickles. Too bad she probably had no clue who he is. Could her phone be ringing with sitcom offers?
The guys sang a medley of manly, masculine, I-use-duct-tape-on-everything type songs such as “Taking Care of Business”. It was a fun, no pressure sing along. Great to see Bucky sing again. Covais? Whatever.
Girls sang every song with the word “woman” in it. Kat blew everyone out of the water. I really miss Melissa McGhee. I wish she was touring. I think she’s really good.
All 12 finalists joined together for a Burt Bacharach medley. Burt’s about 4 foot nothing, even standing next to Ryan. And I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Ace knows how to wear a suit. Damn. I actually liked it with the hair down.
The biggest surprise of the evening was Prince. I think the only reason he showed up was because he figured he might fit in, it was filled with little people, Burt, Ryan, Kat sang “Over The Rainbow”.
Wait, I take that back. The biggest surprise of the evening, if not the century (which is only 6 year in so far) was the Gay Aiken duet. The shock on that kid’s face was fit to be replayed for years. And I think Gay changed his look so people wouldn’t think he and that kid looked so much alike. He looked more like a Beetle meets K.D. Lang.
Throughout the night, Ryan handed out the Golden Idol Awards to fallen audition contestants. But it was at the end of the night that the biggest award was given. Kat & Taylor came out singing “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life”. Nobody puts Baby in a corner. You have to do that every time “Dirty Dancing” references are made. Kat wore a dress that made her look like an angel and Taylor looked…well… not sloppy. No, he actually looked good. Ryan announces Taylor as the winner. I think the funniest part is that his envelope that he was holding was blank. Kat even peeked over to check it out and said it was blank, just for that purpose. I love the magic of television. The magic of Doug Henning. The magic of American Idol.
So Taylor won. No surprise. Fine, America, you won.
What do I do now?!? Get a life?
