[JunkNewsflash!] Kurt Angle Assigned To New IWE Brand!

Kurt Angle, who was pulled from Raw to Smackdown when the latter needed a big name, and mere months later was moved from Smackdown to ECW when the new division needed a big name, has been switched from ECW to the new IWE brand.

“I’m really excited about being the new face of Iraqi Wrestling Entertainment,” Kurt said while waiting for his flight. “It’ll be great entertaining the troops.” At this point one of his handlers whispered in his ear, and Kurt responded, “We’re not performing for the troops? Oh, well, the citizens of Iraq certainly need a morale boost after all they’ve been through. And our top notch security staff…” Once again, one of his handlers whispered in Kurt’s ear. Kurt looked at the ground, coughed, and then smiled at the interviewer. “But really, who needs security when you’re an American celebrity wearing an outfit that looks like the United States flag in a country the United States just liberated? I’m being overdramatic, sorry. Hey, they have new props for me! I haven’t even seen them yet, but I’m sure it’ll help me fit in.” At this point an assistant arrived carrying a yarmulke in one hand and a suckling pig. “I should’ve really focused on selling t-shirts,” said Kurt.

Inside Pulse will have more on this story as it develops.