UFC 60 actually turned out to be a damn fine show. The highlight of the night, for me anyway, was Randy “The Natural” Couture joining the broadcast team. I sincerely hope UFC makes this a permanent gig for Captain America. On with the show…
THE MAIN CARD
- Mike Swick defeated Joe Riggs by submission (guillotine choke) at 2:19 in round 1
I knew this would be a good fight, but I had no idea just how good Mike Swick would be. The “Swickotine” was a nice surprise for the finish, not to mention expertly applied. What a great way to start the night. Swick has only had four fights in UFC so far, but he’s 4 for 4 and on his way to a title shot faster than I thought (let’s face it, Franklin is in dire need of competition). Riggs, on the other hand, is 3 for 6 in UFC (with an overall 24-8-0), with his most notable loss to Matt Hughes at UFC 56. I expect that UFC will keep Riggs around, but I wouldn’t count on him getting a shot at Franklin any time soon.
- Brandon Vera defeated Assuerio Silva by submission (guillotine choke) at 2:39 in round 1
I fully expected this fight to be boring as all f*ck, but Brandon Vera surprised the hell out of me. Known for his (T)KOs, Brandon pulled off a nice guillotine to end it early. The guillotine itself was a surprise, but the execution of it was brilliant. Silva hoisted up Vera to backslam him, but Vera got his arms around Silva’s neck and locked in the guillotine on the way down and held on.
This brought on the conversation of the night:
Mike Goldberg: “Didn’t we just see this?”
Randy Couture: “Is that a ‘Swickotine’?”
Joe Rogan: “Ask Mike Swick. Only he can tell you whether or not it’s a ‘Swickotine’.”
Vera is young, undefeated, and is showing a lot of potential. It doesn’t hurt that the crowd seemed to like him.
- Diego Sanchez defeated John Alessio by decision (unanimous) at 5:00 in round 3
I learned something very important in this fight: John Alessio is a new man. His time with the Miletich boys really paid off. I also learned that Diego Sanchez doesn’t have shit if he can’t take you down. I believe Diego attempted fifteen takedowns, and was denied thriteen times. It was almost painful to watch, but it shows what an animal Sanchez really is. The guy just won’t quit. Alessio’s sprawl was great, but his offense still needs some work. The highlight of the fight was the last two of round three, as Sanchez rode Alessio’s back. Sanchez attempted to choke out and ounch Alessio, and Alessio was locking up Diego’s arms attempting to submit him. Very exciting, and made up for any rough spots earlier in the fight. In the end Sanchez won over the judges, but I’m a little surprised it wasn’t a split decision.
- Dean Lister defeated Alessio Sakara by submission (Triangle Choke) at 2:20 in round 1
Before I comment on the fight, I have to comment on the entrance. Lister is heading to the Octagon with some of his Team Punishment cronies, but Ortiz is mysteriously absent. Cut to the crowd, and there’s Tito rubbing elbows with my old personal friend, The Rock. Tito was just starting to grow on me again too.
Dean Lister is a bad motherf*cker, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Tito’s right-hand man made rather quick work of Legionarius. Lesson the first: Do not f*ck with Deano on the ground. Lister looks like he has a nice career ahead of himself in UFC, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of his fights.
- Matt Hughes defeated Royce Gracie by TKO (strikes) at 4:39 in round 1
Dude, seriously…holy shit. I’m still in awe of Matt Hughes’ total domination of Royce Gracie. Royce never really had a chance to mount any kind of offense against Hughes. I think he was trying to take it slow and feel Hughes out…it didn’t work out too well. Hughes pushed the pace, starting off slow on their feet, and moving into overdrive once they got on the ground.
Hughes got side control over Gracie and had a hell of an armbar locked in, but Gracie remained calm and was able to get his arm free. Personally, I don’t know how the hell his elbow didn’t snap. Gracie gave up his back to Hughes, and after realizing he wouldn’t be able to lock in a rear naked, Hughes opted for the ol’ ground n’ pound until McCarthy called for the stoppage.
I’ve avoided all MMA forums since Saturday just so I don’t have to see all of the “101 Reasons Why Gracie Lost” lists. Yes, you could take into consideration that Gracie isn’t used to time limits, rounds, or wearing shorts, but it really comes down to style. Matt Hughes is a true modern mixed martial artist. That’s not to take away from Gracie’s abilities or his accomplishments, it’s just a fact: in today’s world, Matt Hughes is a better fighter. I hope Georges St. Pierre was taking notes on Saturday.
THE UNDERCARD
Since only one fight went the distance there was plenty of time to show the prelim fights, minus one.
- Spencer Fisher defeated Matt Wiman by KO (knee) at 1:43 in round 2
Matt Wiman is the dumbest motherf*cker I’ve ever seen in UFC. I hope they keep him around just to get his ass handed to him every couple of months. This kid started off looking great; he had Spence is trouble a few times in the first with submission attempts, but The King hung in there. Second round, Spence rocks Wiman with a punch, Wiman shakes his head “no” and raises his hand in the air — BOOM! — Spence nails the dumb bastard with a flying knee and puts his lights out. I hope Wiman feels like a complete douchenozzle right now. The King could be on his way to compete for the currently vacant Lightweight Championship if he keeps fighting like this. Those Miletich boys are tough as f*ckin’ nails.
- Melvin Guillard defeated Rick Davis by KO (punch) at 1:37 in round 1
Rick Davis, do yourself a favor and go back to teaching. This guy stinks. I don’t think he got one decent shot in on Guillard. Melvin rocked his ass, then followed it up with a Liddell-esque overhand right for a beautiful “Holy f*cking knock out, Batman!” finish. I thought Davis’ neck snapped when he landed face-first on the canvas. Looks like Spence has some serious competition.
- Gabriel Gonzaga defeated Fabiano Scherner by TKO (strikes) at 0:24 in round 2
Two big goofs that were gassed from the start. I zoned out during this one, thinking about rewinding my DVR to watch the last two KOs.
NON-TELEVISED BECAUSE NOBODY CARES ABOUT HORN
- Jeremy Horn defeated Chael Sonnen by submission (armbar) at 1:17 in round 2
Care…
K-1 IN THE HOUSE
K-1’s Tanagawa and the legendary Sakuraba were on hand for UFC 60, along with K-1 fighter and former UFC fighter “Big Daddy” Gary Goodridge. For those wonder what the deal was, according to MMAWeekly’s Ryan Bennett, Royce Gracie was “on loan” by K-1 to the UFC. The presence of Tanagawa and Sakuraba has caught the attention of many MMA fans, wondering if perhaps K-1 and UFC are hammering out a working agreement. I guess time will tell…
TO QUOTE JOHN MCCLANE, “FUCKIN’ CALIFORNIA!”
The celebrities came crawling out of the woodwork for UFC’s debut at the Staples Center. We had some of the usual suspects: Michael Clarke Duncan, Cindy Crawford, and Wilmer Valderrama. There were some big names in attendance: James F’N Caan, Nicolas Cage, and former WWE star Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. I didn’t see them on camera, but it’s been reported that Adam Sandler and “Iron” Mike Tyson were also in attendance.
The absolute worst of the worst were in attendance as well: Paris Hilton, David Spade, Paul Walker, and the Wayans brothers. If you saw the celebrity predictions prior to the main event, I hope you’ll join me in hoping that Marlon Wayans slips in a puddle of AIDS.
