The (Early) SmackDown Report

We open up SmackDown with Tony Chimmel introducing our NEW Host of SmackDown; Mike “The Miz” Mizanin. He says tonight’s main event is the King Of The Ring Booker T verses the United States Champion Bobby Lashley; The Great Khali will be in the Piper’s Pit with Roddy Piper! And to start the event, in his farewell match, it’s Olympic Gold Medallist Kurt Angle verses World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio! For once in a long time, someone talking about three matches has actually made me excited about an event. To hell with Michael Cole, let Mizanin introduce every SmackDown event until it gets old.

SmackDown Video and we’re back with Paul Heyman sitting at the announcer’s table as Kurt Angle makes his entrance.

Opening Contest: Kurt Angle verses Rey Mysterio
Before they lock up, I must note that Cole acknowledges that these two met at Summerslam 2002. Angle tries to corner Mysterio in the corner to start, before taking Mysterio down and getting some slaps in, getting up on his own will as opposed to the referee. Armdrag by Angle into wristlock, a few more slaps and he lets Mysterio do. Angle forces Mysterio down with a sudden tackle and forces his knee into his head and gets back up again. Angle takes Mysterio down with the ankle and goes for the AngleLock but Mysterio gets to the ropes, and this time gets off Mysterio at the four count. In a moment that I could swear is edited, Angle whips Mysterio into the opposite corner but Mysterio gets in a headscissors takedown. Mysterio gets taken down with Angle going for the AngleLock again, getting a variation of it on, and slapping Mysterio around a bit – with Mysterio too stupid to get to the ropes which are not even a grand total of twenty centimetres away from him – before Mysterio kicks him off using his spare leg. Angle goes for a spear on Mysterio in the corner, but Mysterio moves and Angle goes shoulder first into the steel pole, which allows Mysterio to get up to a nine count before Angle nails a powerbomb. Mysterio gets an arm drag out of an AngleSlam attempt, sending Angle rolling outside. Mysterio goes to the apron but misses the seated senton, and the two quickly run back into the ring for a staredown.

Commercials

We’re back with Angle taking Mysterio down with an elbow to the back of the neck. Uppercut by Angle before he locks on a body and shoulder scissors. Mysterio gets up and gets some knees to the gut of Angle but runs right into a kitchen sink knee. Rib breaker by Angle for a pair of two counts. German by Angle for a two count, followed by a body scissors and rear choke hold, Mysterio gets to his feet and gets a dropkick to Angle! Mysterio runs right into a Belly to Belly for a pair of two counts. Mysterio reverses a high angle spinebuster with a DDT, and both are down for a six count. Mysterio gets some kicks in and bounces off the ropes with a nice spinning headscissors. Angle off the ropes with a sunset flip attempt, Mysterio rolls through and nails a necbkreaker for a two count! Mysterio gets a drop toe hold to Angle, sending him face first into the second turnbuckle, and a side kick knocks him outside which Mysterio follows up with a baseball slide into headscissors. Back in the ring Mysterio goes up and gets the setad senton and gets a two count, but Angle rolls through and gets a two count of his own! Nice German by Angle for another two count. Angle chokes Mysterio using his boot in the corner, before he tries to irish whip Mysterio but Mysterio sends Angle into the corner – Angle stops himself and Mysterio runs at him, Angle throws him into the corner but Mysterio lands on the second rope and flips behind Angle and brings him down in a school boy for a two! Angle gets a clothesline and the straps come off! AngleSlam!! One! Two! NO! Mysterio with his foot on the ropes! Angle goes for another Angle Slam but Mysterio nails a hurricanrana sending Angle to the second rope – 619! Mysterio goes up top but Angle jumps up and goes for a belly to belly from the top rope, but Mysterio punches away on Angle and goes for a sunset flip off the top rope but Angle holds on! Angle jumps down in front of Mysterio, Mysterio nails a kick to the gut and nails a sunset flip but Angle rolls back and gets the AngleLock! Mysterio rolls throigh with that and goes for the 619, but Angle catches the feet! Angle drags him in for the AngleLock but Mysterio gets a small package for a two count! Mysterio off the ropes and into a belly to belly by Angle to the outside and .. get’s counted out?
Winner: Kurt Angle

During the match Heyman announced that Kurt Angle has laid out an open challenge for One Night Stand, meanwhile Rey Mysterio will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Sabu. If that doesn’t sell One Night Stand, alongside Cena Vs RVD, then I don’t know what will. For the second week in a row SmackDown has started in an exciting way and, cheap finish aside, the match was pure quality. Eight out of Ten, not a perfect ten for the ending. Even main event size opening matches should be treated like main events and end in a legitimate way. Post match, Angle shakes Mysterio’s hand and the two hug.

See No Evil promo; who’s more terrifying, Kane or Jacob?

Still to come: Bobby Lashley verses King Booker, as well as Piper’s Pit!

Commercials

Batista Returns! 35 Days! Fourth of July! Exclamation Mark!

Lashley interview talks about his first opportunity to prove himself as a superstar when he became United States Champion. He looks forward to earning respect from everyone, and he’s proud to be your and my new United States Champion. Humble.

Nunzio’s training backstage, his match with Hardy is next, but Vito is nowhere to be seen! Wonder what size bra Vito wears?

WrestleMania 22 DVD Commercial, if they’ve edited the Trish and Mickie match like I’ve heard they have, then I am not even considering buying the bloody DVD.

Commercials.

Second Contest: Matt Hardy verses Nunzio
Hardy works the arm of Nunzio to start, but Nunzio reverse it and gets in a hammerlock. Hardy trips Nunzio and locks in a headlock, gets sent off the ropes by Nunzio and comes back with a shoulder block before Hardy reapplies the headlock, only for Nunzio to lock in a hammerlock. Nunzio with a fireman’s carry, before Hardy nails a punch to the face, scoop slam and a elbow for a two count. Hardy punches away at Nunzio in the corner before nails a dragging bomb for a two count. Nunzio with a shot to the gut before he locks on a headlock, Hardy sends him into the corner but misses the shoulder block, and Nunzio nails an arm breaker for a two count. In the corner Nunzio nails some shoulders to the gut followed by a snapmare and dropkick for a two count. Nunzio gets in an armbar on Hardy, the fans chant for Hardy which gets Hardy to his feet. Hardy off the ropes with an elbow, followed by a clothesline and shoulder body toss. Clothesline bulldog combo gets Hardy a two count. Nunzio tackles Hardy into the corner, only to get a elbow. Hardy goes up top and nails a elbow to the back of Nunzio’s neck. Twist of Fate ends it.
Winner: Matt Hardy

Post match. Vito comes down wearing a nice black number (wearing sandles, not heels), and massages Nunzio. Nunzio sees the dress and freaks out and goes backstage, with Vito close behind. A push is a push, I suppose. Good enough second match for SmackDown since it didn’t drag and it was quick, and they thankfully had a good solid break between Angle/Mysterio and this match. Four out of Ten.

Up next: Piper’s Pit with Great Khali!

Commercials.

Mike Mizanin welcomes us back to SmackDown and introduces Roddy Piper. Piper patronises Khali, since he can’t speak English, and calls his rear a “Brokeback Mountain ornament”. Ha! Daivari demands some tough questions, like he was told, otherwise they’re leaving. Question Number One: What does Khali eat? Daivari says he eats people like Piper for a living. Right. Question Two: Where’s he from? The jungles of India. Piper says, just like he has to Taker times and times before, that the Undertaker is the toughest man ever in the WWE before Daivari proclaims Khali as the new Phenom of the WWE. Piper begins yelling at Khali, but Khali grabs him by the throat! Daivari talks him down and Khali lets go. Daivari calls Khali the most dominant force in the WWE; “Well maybe he is, but you sure ain’t” before Piper slaps Daivari down! Headbutt by Khali is followed by a chop, and Khali stands over Piper as we head to a commercial. Nice little segment, easily Khali’s best yet.

Commercials.

We come back to Tony Chimmel introducing the 2005 Diva Search Winner, and new addition to SmackDown, Ashley Massaro! I like Ashley, but she’ll sadly most probably get the Christy Hemme addition. Massaro sits at ringside and acts like being on SmackDown is like winning an Oscar.

Third Contest: Jillian Hall verses Kristal Marshall
Lock up and Hall throws Marshall off of her. Another lock up and Hall works on the arm, but Kristal slips over and works Halls arm before Hall flips over and trips Marshall for a one count! Marshall gets a school girl for a one count. Headlock takedown by Hall and Marshall tries for a roll up for one, before getting a headscissors. Marshall with a headlock which Hall reverses with a backdrop and nails a NICE handspring elbow drop. Snapmare by Hall for a one count. Marshall gets a hair toss on Hall. Marshall goes up top for a victory roll, but Hall reverses it for the victory.
Winner: Jillian Hall

Not as bad as you’d have expected and Kristal has showed a lot of improvement since these two last wrestled. Michelle McCool (surprisingly still under contract. Hopefully she’ll get far as well) comes out and gets on the microphone, and introduces herself as a “new diva” on SmackDown, and is apparently a former School Teacher here to teach these girls what it’s like to be a real lady. And she may even teach the man a little something about the birds and the bees, before she says things are going to get a whole lot hotter. She seemed so out of breathe, weirdly. Either way, Michelle McStriker is still under contract, and she showed promise when she wrestled Dawn Marie too. I’ll be honest and only give it a One out of Ten, but that’s a lot better than I thought Marshall would have done.

Commercials.

Video recap of Henry verses Benoit last week.

Fourth Contest: Mark Henry verses Paul Burchill
Henry slams Burchill down to start, not even letting him take off his cape. Big boot by Henry is followed by a World’s Strongest Slam, and another World’s Strongest Slam for the victory!
Winner: Mark Henry

Wow, what happened to that push Burchill was getting? Post match Henry nails a fall forward suplex (he’s got another move! Stop the presses!), before he sends Burchill into the steel post. Henry sends Burchill inside and, using the ropes, locks the Camel Clutch again – with Burchill bleeding from the mouth. An obviousy -Five out of Ten, but a pat on the shoulder to Mark Henry for learning a new move.

Commercials

Mr Kennedy promo. I’m loving this music. He returns NEXT WEEK! NEXT WEEK! NEXT WEEK BABY!

Fifth Contest: Finlay verses Caden Matthews
Finlay bitch slaps Matthews to start before nailing an inverted atomic drop and short arm clothesline. In the corner Finlay gets a spear, pounds away at Matthews on the outside and throws him outside over the top rope and tackles him into the apron. Matthews gets dragged under the ring!!! Finlay drags Matthews back out and slides him into the ring, Emerald Fusion for the victory.
Winner: Finlay

Post match, the Leprechaun runs out from under the ring and attacks Matthews with the shaleleigh! The leprechaun bites Matthews before being thrown back under the ring. -Five out of Ten for the match.

See No Evil Video. I’m so sick of this movie already.

Up next, the main event: Bobby Lashley verses King Booker!

Commercials

ECW One Night Stand;
World Heavy Weight Championship: Sabu challenges Rey Mysterio promo is followed up by a good litlte Sabu package. Tazz then talks about Jerry Lawler before he challenges Jerry “The King” Lawler to a match at One Night Stand!!!

Mike Mizanin introduces us to our main event. Our royal heiness King Booker verses the new United States Champion, but Regal makes his way out first! Murray’s right, Regal goes look good in those suits. Regal leads the crowd in a, non reciprcoating, chant of “All Hail King Booker” before we get some new Royal Music! Our King and Queen make their way on out. No pyros, subtle gold lights, and a red carpet. I’m not sure if I like King Booker without the pyros, but it’s a nice little change. We’ve even got the King’s throne set up in the ring before Queen Sharmell introduces us to the most magnificent King Booker, and there’s pyros behind the chair! Booker gets on the microphone and proudly introduces us to the new queen, Queen Sharmell as Regal goes back to his “All Hail King Booker” chant.

Commercials.

Regal is still chanting “All Hail King Booker”, even though the fans are now replying with “What?” … Ugh.

Main Event: King Booker with Queen Sharmell and William Regal verses Bobby Lashley
The match starts with a stare off which ends with Lashley telling Booker to bring it. Lock up and Lashley takes Booker to the corner before being forced off by the referee. Another lock up and this time Booker gets a knee to the gut of Lashley and takes Lashley to the corner with clubs, but Lashley forearms Booker down and nails a scoop slam for a two count. Running clothesline gets Lashley another two count. Lashley gets in a reverse headlock, which Booker takes to the ropes. Booker gets some back hand chops before Lashley nails some rights, before Booker hangs Lashley on the top rope throat first before he chokes him at the ropes, goes to the apron and drives Lashley throat first into the top rope. Lashley with a suplex on Booker. The two trade rights with Lashley winning and nailing Booker with some charges, getting a two count. Booker gets sent into the corner for a clothesline, gets whipped into the opposite corner by Lashley but Booker gets a foot up which Lashley catches! Lashley spins Booker around and misses the clothesline but turns around right into a high kick. Lashley elbows off the Book End and nails a pair of Belly to Bellys, goes for the spear but Booker gets a knee up! Booker goes for a side kick but Lashley catches it, nails a running powerslam for the three count!
Winner: Bobby Lashley

Regal attacks Lashley from behind afterwards, with Finlay coming from backstage to help. Lashley mounts a comeback but is quickly put down by a shot by the Shaleleigh and a Book End. Regal and Finlay get the throne and put it in the ring before Lashley mounts another comeback, but Regal takes him don and Finlay nails another shot with the Shaleleigh to the gut, followed by a Scissor’s Kick. Booker T gets Finlay and Regal to make an unconcious Bobby Lashley bow down to Booker, before he tells Finlay and Regal to make Lashley kiss his feet. Sharmell chants “All Hail King Booker” as King Booker celebrates and SmackDown fades to black. Nice enough match up, but not exactly a SmackDown Main Event level one; Six out of Ten. So this week stands at;

Kurt Angle verses Rey Mysterio: 8 / 10
Nunzio verses Matt Hardy: 4 / 10
Jillian Hall verses Kristal Marshall: 1 / 10
Mark Henry verses Paul Burchill: -5 / 10
Finlay verses Caden Matthews: -5 / 10
King Booker verses Bobby Lashley: 6 / 10
SmackDown 2/06/06: 9 / 60

Not that bad of a SmackDown, actually. Mizanin can bring some much needed personality to the duties of Michael Cole, but can otherwise get annoying really quickly which is the more likely event. While nothing spectacular over all, and while (on paper) this show seemed a bit upside down with the Main Event opening and such, I personally think it worked well. At least one things for certain in that this week’s episode didn’t drag like the other weeks did.

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