Looking Ahead – 6th June 2006

Looking Ahead – 6th June 2006

How are we doing folks? All sitting comfortably? Made sure your College/Uni/Work is minimised and that your Teacher/Tutor/Boss isn’t lurking around?

Good… then allow me to begin by thanking you for checking out the latest edition of LA, the column that both informs you of the nearest WWE Pay Per Views and that gives you an insight into the mind of one Danny Wallace.

I’m no mind reader, mystic or psychic. I’m simply a regular bog-standard 22 year old guy with a love for Pro-Wrestling. I don’t claim to know everything, I admit that I’m wrong when I’m wrong, and most importantly, I usually sit on the fence with most things. I think that it allows me to see both sides of the equation if you will, so I can share my thoughts and opinions with you fine folk so you can make up your own mind about the topic at hand.

So let’s go find a fence to sit on.

But first!

The 6th of the 6th, 2006. Go check out Lucard’s Nygothya . He’s a Vampire apparently, according to some crackpots with too much time on their hands and a few LiveJournal accounts. On a completely different subject, Alex, I forget. Which “drink” do you prefer again? Is it A, AB, B or O?

Matt Basilo checks in with the latest Case of the Mondays. The reason I think that The Island can cure Locke’s Leg and Paralysis, but not his scar… is because it’s a scar. It’s on the outside.

Rob Sutton writes about the good and the bad of X-Men 3. I’ve not seen it yet… and don’t really want to.

Chuck Platt admits to watching professional wrestling. The loser…

Gloomchen says it’s National Emo Kid Beatdown Day. Awesome! Let me get my baseball bat.


Next PPV – ECW One Night Stand; 11/6/06

The Announced Card

RVD vs. John Cena for the WWE World Championship

Well, it’s finally happening. The match that was rumored to be taking place months before even another One Night Stand was announced is now upon us. And for me, I have a feeling of unease about it. On one hand, you have RVD winning the match which will tarnish the ONLY World Title in pro-wrestling history that I give a damn about (if he so chooses to take it to ECW / discard the title) or you have Cena go over which will ruin any momentum that RVD has got going into ECW.

The only way I can see an ending that is good for both RVD and Cena would be for Kurt Angle to run in and cost RVD the match, which was suggested by a couple of other writers here on IP. I love that idea, but I’ve a feeling the ECW crowd will probably side with Kurt on this and cheer him anyway, which might be bad for RVD’s heat. But we’ll see.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu for the World Heavyweight Championship

A few years ago I would have been really looking forward to this match, but now all I can think is “I hope Sabu doesn’t f*ck up”, as his recently botched Facebuster on John Cena this Monday on Raw will testify. Still, it’s a good way for Sabu to get noticed by the casual WWE fan (“Wow, this Sabu guy is getting a shot at the World Heavyweight Title… he must be good!”), and it’s also a good way to attract the old ECW fans with the concept that Sabu has a chance to grab Gold.

I just hope Mysterio doesn’t get hurt even more than he currently is.

Mick Foley & Edge vs. Tommy Dreamer & Terry Funk

I still smell a double-cross thrown in the works by Foley. I just can’t see where this will go afterwards. Edge goes to play with Cena, Funk and Dreamer stay in EC-DUB, Foley goes… where? Unless Edge and Foley win by cheating, then Edge does one while Foley is left to get beaten down.

I’d also like to see Edge interfere in the Main Event to spear Cena a couple of times. One scenario is for Edge to run in and spear Cena, then spear RVD. Angle comes out to run off Edge which gets a big pop from the crowd, then goes over to check on RVD… who he them decides to Angle-Slam. Then he goes and drapes Cena over RVD for the pin. Show ends with Angle doing his roaring/screaming thing with the crowd booing him to shit.

I hate fantasy booking more often than not, but I just can’t help it this time. You’ll get over it I’m sure.

Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Orton is so not who I had in mind for accepting Angle’s challenge, but it makes sense from a continuous storyline standpoint I suppose. Has it been 60 days already? I doubt it, but hell, it’ll do I suppose. Nothing much else to say really, other than that Angle’s going to win.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Here’s where we’ll see Tazz tell everybody that he’s going to be joining Joey Styles in the booth for the new ECW shows. After handing Lawler’s ass back to him, having just kicked the shit out of it.

I’m quite looking forward to this match, as I think the verbal blows on the mic beforehand will be a treat.


Tag Match

Only 5 matches for a 3 hour PPV? Some more matches have got to be announced soon surely?

I’d hazard a guess at a tag match involving The Spirit Squad against Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten.

Or possibly the FBI group of Nunzio and Tony Mamaluke.

The Sandman

He made an appearance on Raw yesterday, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in a match at One Night Stand.


Next PPV – Vengeance; 25/6/06

The Announced Card

Edge vs. John Cena

It’s not announced yet, but we all know Cena will still be the champ come Vengeance. At least according to the event posters I’ve seen.

Maybe this is where Edge will reclaim the title, and go into a feud with Triple H once he’s finished wearing Baseball caps and playing with DX.


DX vs. The Spirit Squad

DX is still on the horizon, but the opponents are still yet to be determined. I assume we’ll find out next week on Raw. I’d go with The Spirit Squad, as it’ll make DX look stronger if they beat all 5 guys.

Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Come oooooooooooooon Beth, just tell us why you’re here. I’m getting bored shitless with this now. No answers for 3 or 4 weeks as to who you are, and it’s getting annoying. Maybe creative hasn’t a clue, and just threw Phoenix in for shits and giggles.

Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito cleanly beat the Intercontinental Champion Shelton on Raw yesterday. What is the f*cking point in that? Unless they were going to enter a feud. We all remember the previous Carlito vs. Shelton feud, but that was then. This is different, because both wrestlers have switched sides. Carly’s now a face, Shelton’s now a heel.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Umaga’s push starts off with Ric Flair, and now it’s gone on to Eugene? Seriously, I hope Joemaga (Samoa Joe would be this gimmick if he signed with WWE, no doubt) is used to end the Eugene gimmick. Yet I actually wouldn’t mind Eugene sticking around… as long as he went to ECW. He’d get shit on so much it’d be funny, and it could be used to turn him heel and give Dinsmore a change of gimmick.

Charlie Haas vs. Viscera

If creative had an ounce of brain between themselves, they could surely come up with this match in time for Vengeance. Hass knocked Lillian off the ring on Raw and Big Vis is looking for revenge. THE STORY WRITES ITSELF! Come on Creative… you know it’s a good idea.


Next PPV – Great American Bash; 23/7/06

The Announced Card

No Matches Announced Yet


The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship

It’s too soon for the Mysterio-Guerrero feud to happen, so I’ll go with this pick. Batista could simply challenge Mysterio for the World Title without having to turn heel or whatever, and Chavo could cost Rey the match, much to the chagrin of Batista. Batista could they go off to play with Mark Henry or Khali (you know it’s gonna happen soon), and Chavo “injure” Rey-Rey, taking him off our screens for a few weeks while Rey gets the knee operation he requires.

The Hooliganz vs. Knoble and Kash
This match would be the second great SmackDown Tag Team PPV match in a row. All 4 guys are consistently good in the ring, and they should mesh rather well.

Gregory Helms

Helms needs to get back on track, so a match for him is a must. I’d put him up against somebody like Ken Kennedy or Matt Hardy. Hardy will be the better fit.

Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker

They still have some beef with each other, so they might as well get some mileage out of it. Plus a win over Booker will keep adding to Lashley’s momentum, and hopefully some of Booker’s charisma and personality will rub off onto Lashley. I predict HUGE things for Lashley in a few years if he can keep working with people with the caliber of Regal, Finlay and Booker.

Top 5 Hottest British Bird’s With Nice Arses

5. Nikki Sanderson
4. Kate Lawler
3. Kelly Brook
2. Keeley Hazel
1. Jakki Degg

Mmmmm… Jakki Degg.

On that note, I’m off to go have a wan… shower.

Take it sleazy!

Danny Wallace… who has NOT got his hand down his boxers, contrary to reports.

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