Body Blows: A 7 foot Russian, My Thoughts on Jim Lampley, and Castillo Ruined My Weekend

The first fight between Jose Luis Castillo and Diego Corrales was a runaway winner for 2005 Fight Of The Year. Some experts like Bert Sugar classify it as a top ten fight of all-time. Needless to say, a rematch was highly anticipated. Castillo weighed in three pounds over the lightweight limit for the second fight. Corrales, not wanting to disappoint the fans and everyone involved with the bout, agreed to go on with the fight. Castillo was the bigger man and won the second matchup with a 4th round knockout. No titles were on the line due to Castillo’s inability to make weight and no one thought less of Corrales for losing the fight. A third fight was made for last Saturday to end this feud for good. However, Castillo weighed in 4 ½ pounds over the lightweight limit. A dejected Corrales had no choice but to cancel the fight.

Jose Luis Castillo Ruined My Saturday

Jose Luis Castillo is an exciting fighter, but it’s hard to see how anyone can be a fan of this prick after he failed to make weight for the two biggest paydays of his career. You want further proof that Castillo is a prick? Here is his reaction to not making weight:

That’s the reaction you give for pulling “Clean Gutters” from the chore basket. It’s not the reaction for missing weight in the most anticipated fight of the year. And he didn’t just miss weight, he blew right by it. At the time of weigh-in for his Lightweight title fight, Castillo was only ½ a pound under the limit for Light Welterweight. How do you lose 4 ½ pounds in 15 seconds? This moron seems to think sucking it in will do the trick:

Now, instead of inviting people over to my house to watch boxing and eat Doritos, I must improvise my plans for Saturday night. I met up with my group of dejected boxing fans at the local minor league baseball game. I got there in the 6th inning which meant free entry, but last call is in the seventh inning so I sort of broke even. The game was uneventful as all I remember watching was Hee-Sop Choi strike out. Most of the time was spent watching ten year olds try to break 40 mph on the speed pitch.

That thankfully ended but we had no plans following the game. Joe mentions it would be funny if we went to the Portland Festival. Not Portland, Oregon, although the drive across the country would have been a better idea. Joe was speaking of his old neighborhood infested with rednecks. We got there and the place smelled like gonorrhea and weed. Joe mentioned we wouldn’t see all of his childhood friends there because some are in prison. Awesome. What should have been a two-beer stop turned into the final destination of our night. The women there had more facial hair than the guys, not to mention bigger beer guts and more tattoos. Joe seemed to have a good time catching up with all of his friends that were acquitted, but after three hours I had seen enough. The Black Sabbath tribute band made my ears cry and I wasn’t about to stick around to hear them torture AC/DC. I went home, watched SportsCenter and went to bed. All because Jose Luis Castillo is a fatty.

The Beast From The East

With Corrales/Castillo off, the big fight of the weekend was WBA Heavyweight champion Nikolay Valuev defending his belt against Owen Beck. What Beck did to earn a title shot is beyond me. Beck lost two of his last three fights with the lone win coming in an eight-round contest. Interestingly enough, Don King offered Showtime the rights to televise the Valuev fight since their main event was canceled but for whatever reason, Showtime declined. Far be it for Don King to help someone out in a pinch so the bushy-haired promoter probably put a 500% markup on his asking price.

The 7-foot 320 pound Russian dominated Beck in their fight at the Tui Arena in Hannover, Germany. Valuev knocked Beck down in the second round and again in the third round. Referee Luis Pabon stopped the fight in the third round, giving Valuev a TKO victory. I have yet to see Valuev fight but he is quickly becoming one of my favorite and most photogenic boxers. Who else in the heavyweight division would use a Kung Fu Action Chop in their fight? Valuev would:

What other fighter in the heavyweight division would leave his knee pads on from his basketball game at the YMCA with other 40-year old men? I’m sure if goggles were legal boxing gear he would wear those too:

Up next for Valuev is a potential rematch with John Ruiz. That is NOT the way to introduce Valuev to an American audience. John Ruiz is the most boring fighter in the history of boxing and should be suspended permanently based on that notion alone. Valuev can be an effective heavyweight attraction as long as he stays as far away from John Ruiz as possible. Wladimir Klitschko wants to unify the heavyweight titles. Put those two in the ring together. It would be a huge fight in Europe and one that wouldn’t bore the life out of an American audience.

Reverend Sick vs. Jim Lampley?

I don’t know their weight classes, but it could be an interesting matchup. In his latest edition of Into The Pit, Reverend Sick takes on HBO Boxing’s lead commentator Jim Lampley. I did not hear Lampley’s diatribe against MMA and the UFC. My first and only exposure to this incident is from reading Sick’s column.

Jim Lampley has been the voice of HBO Boxing for quite some time. To his credit, he is a very quick-witted individual with an extensive vocabulary. However, he’s also very smug and laughs at Larry Merchant’s jokes. Lampley likes to show off his vocabulary and smugness whenever he can. Take his blog The Biggest Story Of Our Lives for example. Unfortunately, Lampley isn’t using hyperbole or imitating Bill Walton with that subject title. He actually believes he cracked a story bigger than Watergate.

I like Jim Lampley within the confines of a boxing arena. That man looks sharp in a tuxedo. But I cannot defend his statements about MMA and UFC. Perhaps Lampley is attempting a little mud-slinging towards the UFC. As Reverend Sick mentioned, HBO and the UFC may be striking up a deal in the near future and Lampley could be discrediting the sport to keep it away from his precious station. I’m sure in one way or another, Lampley sees HBO as his own station. Things will play out as they will, but from where I sit, UFC has already passed boxing in popularity.

Results From Last Week

– Koba Gogoladze won his super featherweight bout against Tyrone Harris by unanimous decision.

– Cassius Baloyi defeated Manuel Medina to capture the IBF and IBO Super Featherweight title. It was a close fight but Father Time caught up to the 35-year old Medina as he was knocked down three times in the 11th round and the fight was stopped.

– Vince “Cool” Phillips lost his second fight in a row, this time to Jesus Soto Karass by 9th round TKO. Phillips is a former world champion and has defeated the likes of Mickey Ward and Kostya Tszyu but turning 43 next month isn’t bringing him any closer to those glory days.

– Chad Dawson picked up the biggest win of his young career as the light heavyweight defeated Eric Harding by unanimous decision. It was a good fight with both men bleeding. Harding’s only previous losses were to the trio of Roy Jones Jr, Glen Johnson, and Antonio Tarver. Harding even holds a victory over Tarver. Dawson looked impressive and got up from a first round knockdown to win the fight.

– Welterweight Cosme Rivera defeated Felix Flores by unanimous decision.

– Jameel McCline defeated another journeyman heavyweight, this one Marcus Rhode who holds a record of 30-30-2. McCline won by second round knockout.

– Yuri Foreman remained undefeated by earning a unanimous decision over Jesus Felipe Valverde.

– Vic Darchinyan retained his IBF and IBO Flyweight titles over previously unbeaten Luis Maldonaldo. This fight became Showtime’s main event after the Castillo/Corrales fight was called off. Darchinyan looked good and won the fight with an 8th round TKO.

Jockscraps – The Stories They Won’t Tell

Martina Navratilova Accidentally Flashes Penis During Match

There is a big buzz in Roland Garros this year. It has nothing to do with a potential Nadal/Federer showdown and it has nothing to do with another hot Russian chick. No, the buzz is all about 78-year old Martina Navratilova. After a 6-0, 6-1 win in the first round of the mixed doubles tournament, things turned ugly for Navratilova. Not only did her team lose their second round match 3-6, 6-3, 6-3, but Martina also had an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.

Trailing in the second set, Navratilova chased down a baseline shot. Martina fell while returning the shot. Her return hit the net and from a seated position, she threw her head back in disgust. However, while seated, Navratilova had her legs open, exposing part of her penis that had escaped from her underwear.

Martina quickly covered back up and got to her feet. She played it off as if nothing happened and hoped no one would notice. Her fears came true when a post-match interview brought up the indecent exposure. After dodging a few of the questions, the 9-time Wimbledon winner finally offered up a response.

“Hey, accidents happen,” said Martina. “I thought I had tucked it in but nobody is perfect. I’d just like to say that it had no effect on our match and they beat us fair and square.”

Spit Bucket

It was a strong week for IP Sports this week. Anytime That Bootleg Guy comes around we are lucky individuals.

Eugene Tierney has MLB Power Rankings. The Dodgers are in first? That farm system is being utilized a little earlier than expected but the kids are coming along well.

I am admittedly behind on most pop-culture breakthroughs. I just heard Gnarls Barkley for the first time and they blew me away. Sure enough, my man Michaelangelo McCullar reviewed the album three weeks ago.

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