The (Early) SmackDown Report

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In Memory Of John Tenta.

We start off with Mike Mizanin announcing tonight’s main event; Finlay verses Rey Mysterio! And a four dudette Bikini Contest between Ashley, Jillian, Krystal, and Michelle.

William Regal feat. new music makes his way out. He talks about that disgusting peasant Lashley, I love it when the British are really British. We get a video recap of last week’s main event. Regal introduces his majesty King Booker and starts his “All Hail King Booker” chant, and his music begins playing but Lashley comes out from the audience and attacks Regal from behind! Lashley pummels Regal and continues to on the outside before the referees have to come out and drag Lashley off, but even then Lashley is able to escape and continue the assault on Regal. Theodore Long comes out and announces that tonight it will be Regal against Lashley, and if Lashley wins then he’ll get King Booker. Regal’s biggest match in months and it’s a guaranteed squash.


Batista Returns in four weeks exactly.

Opening Contest: Super Crazy with Psicosis verses Brian Kendrick with Paul London
Expect this to be fast paced and make my fingers very worn out by the end of this. Lock up and neither gets an advantage. The two try to out power each other, Crazy trips Kendrick for a one count, but Kendrick quickly gets a hurricanrana for a one count which Crazy rolls into his pinfall one count, before Kendrick forces Crazy down for a two count. Back to the feet Crazy gets a Monkey flip, back up and Crazy gets a bodyscissors small package for a two count, reversed by Kendrick for his own two count. Both get armdrags in before they pause for applause. Kendrick gets a front headlock but Crazy takes Kendrick down into his own reverse headlock. Back up and Kendrick gets a headlock on Crazy before Kendrick gets sent off the ropes with a shoulder block but then comes back into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Crazy for a two count.

Kendrick gets a nice kick to the head of Crazy for a two count. Kendrick gets sent into the corner for a clothesline by Crazy before Crazy nails a Spinning Sit Out Powerbomb for a two count. Crazy gets Kendrick in a surfboard, before he sends Kendrick off the ropes and goes for another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Kendrick gets Crazy in a small package for a two count. Crazy gets a bow and arrow variation, with the knee in between the shoulders before he nails a legdrop for a two count. Kendrick reverses a suplex with a tight package for a two count, before getting clotheslined back down by Crazy for a two count. Crazy gets in a nice STF which Kendrick elbows out of, Crazy goes for a powerbomb but Kendrick gets the tornado DDT for a two count. Kendrick goes up top but Crazy punches him, Kendrick nails a few but Crazy gets the better and sets himself up with Kendrick and nails a C-4 FROM THE TOP ROPE! One! Two! Three!
Winner: Super Crazy

Post match Great Khali makes his way out and picks up Kendrick, London nails Khali with a chair shot but Khali knocks him down to the outside and Military Presses Kendrick to the outside on London! Psicosis tries to attack rom behind but has no choice but to leave Super Crazy alone in the ring, where he gets nailed with a Doube Handed Chokeslam. Also: Cole announces Super Crazy and Tajiri verses The FBI for One Night Stand. A very nice way to start the wrestling this evening; Six out of Ten.

See No Evil Commercial. Getting REALLY sick of these. But at least this one focuses on the make up effects while the others where simply “go see this damned thing”.

Still to come: Bobby Lashley verses William Regal!


Backstage Kristal asks Finlay about the thing, but Finlay cuts her off and asks her what she wants to know about .. Global Warming? Nuclear Weapons? No, but if Mysterio will defect to ECW. Finlay says he doesn’t care and that Mysterio, tonight, is in for the fight of his life.

Nunzio getting yelled at by some of the other wrestlers before Vito walks in. Wearing a dress. Vito says that there’s nothing wrong with it (there’s not). Nunzio begins to shame him a bit, before Vito says that he’s been the one protecting him and he’s the toughest guy in the locker room, AND the toughest guy to wear a dress. Just don’t say that to Wesley Snipes, Vito, he kills Vampires.


Hype for ECW One Night Stand takes us into;

RAW Recap. The Contract segments with a bit of both men’s careers edited in, I thought they’d have shown the entire ECW portion of the night.

Second Contest: Vito verses Nunzio
Vito has new music and a new video, for the record. Nunzio gets clotheslined down to start and Vito clubs away at Nunzio. Elbow drop on the back of the neck by Vito before Nunzio rolls out of the ring, nursing his wounds. Back in the ring Nunzio gets some low punches but gets kicked away by Vito. Vito with spears on Nunzio in the corner. Hiptoss leads us into a rear choke hold by Vito; Nunzio gets to his feet but gets clubbed back down by Vito. Nunzio gets a dropkick from the second rope for a two count, and goes off the ropes into a fierce right hand by Vito. Forget About It DDT for the victory.

Maybe they can start calling him Dita Vitotease? Kind of boring; -Two out of Ten.

Mister Kennedy video .. he returns TONIGHT, BABY! TONIGHT!

Queen Sharmell makes her way out to introduce the imperial majesty King Booker, who has come out to watch the following match; Bobby Lashley verses William Regal is up next!


We’re back with Queen Sharmell chanting “All Hail King Booker” before Bobby Laslhey’s music cuts her off. Lashley makes his way out by Regal attacks from behind, beating Lashley all the way down to the ring.

Third Contest: Bobby Lashley verses William Regal
Regal starts off by taking Lashley down with an elbow and taking the knees to Lashley. Lashley sends Regal into the corner but runs right into a kick, but Regal gets clotheslined down! Suplex by Lashley. The two lock up and Regal forces Lashley outside, and Lashley gets his knee hung up on the second rope. Regal with a cobra clutch variation which Lashley powers out of with elbows, Regal with a headlock which sends him into the ropes and back into a shoulder body toss. Regal gets a knee to the head of Lashley for a two count. Lashley takes it to Regal in the corner with spears, punches, and kicks and takes it out of the corner for a scoop slam, getting Lashley a two count. Regal gets in an abdominal stretch but Lashley picks Regal up! Regal lands on his feet and nails Lashley with elbows, off the ropes into a dropkick for a few two counts. Regal sends Lashley into the corner but runs right into a big boot! Belly to belly times two by Lashley, who goes for the Dominator but Regal flips Lashley over, runs off the ropes and knees Lashley in the head sending him out of the ring! Regal for a chair and goes to hit Lashley with it but Lashley nails a spear, rolls back in the ring, and Regal gets counted out!
Winner: Bobby Lashley

Lashley looked absolutely horrible out there tonight. He was all over the place and quite shaky at times. Two out of Ten, but only just. Lashley gets on the microphone and simply tells King Booker; “You’re Mine!”.

Still to come: Fit Finlay verses Rey Mysterio, but up next I scratch my eyes out for the Four Chick Bikini Contest!


Mike Mizanin is the host of the Diva Bikini Contest, acting like a total douche. You’d think he’s never been around a chick before. Ashley comes out first complete with new music. Followed by Jillian; “The girl couldn’t drown even if she tried”. Kristal is apparently the hottest interviewer on SmackDown. And everyone’s favourite Michelle McCool comes out. Ashley strips first and someone’s had a boob job!! Jillian then follows and someone’s also had a boob job!! Kristal goes next and I’m not sure if she’s had a boob job or not. Michelle refuses to strip and instead speaks into the microphone and begins to bitch about the media .. Right. Apparently teachers have needs to and, instead, leaves. Rightio. Ashley wins clearly. Well, McCool being “that teacher chick” is better than being “that chick”.

Mr Kennedy Returns TONIGHT!!

Still to come: Rey Mysterio verses Fit Finlay.


Fourth Contest: Mark Henry verses Raymond Row
Row gets clotheslined down quickly by Henry. Splashes by Henry in the corner before Henry throws Row halfway across the ring and World’s Strongest Slam quickly finishes it.
Winner: Mark Henry

Squash = -Five out of Ten. Henry says that in Twenty Eight Days Batista returns and that Batista’s worst mistake ever is his returning to the WWE.

Mr Kennedy Returns NEXT!


See No Evil Commercial.

Fifth Contest: Scotty Too Hotty verses Mr Kennedy
Kennedy attacks Hotty as he makes his entrance. Hotty gets some punches in and goes off the ropes, reversing Kennedy’s hip toss attempt. Kennedy goes for a clothesline but Hotty ducks and gets a School Boy, which doesn’t end the match. Fierce clothesline gets Kennedy a two count. The two exchange punches with Hotty eventually getting the better, Kennedy goes for a russian leg sweep but goes down by himself when Hotty holds onto the ropes. Hotty runs into the corner and Kennedy nails him with a clothesline from behind. Kennedy jumps off the top rope with a Swanton Bomb for the victory!
Winner: Mr Kennedy

Mr Kennedy post match gets back on the microphone and declares himself as the winner. Very energetic and quick match that, if given a minute or two longer, would have dragged. Four out of Ten.

Backstage Chavo runs into Mysterio and asks if he’s going to ECW or staying in the WWE; Mysterio says he’s put a lot of thought into it and he’s made up his mind. Mysterio thanks Chavo for taking a chair shot for him at Judgment Day and asks him if he’s going to come back to the ring. Chavo stays firm in his retirement before Mysterio reminds him that it’s in his blood and asks him to reconsider and says in this business “Never say Never”.

Up next: Rey Mysterio verses Fit Finlay


Next week: Bobby Lashley verses King Booker.

Michael Cole is in the ring speaking about the offer Heyman has put forward towards Mysterio joining ECW. Tazz gets on the microphone as well and says he has something he’d like to add. He joins Cole in the ring and says that he doesn’t know if Mysterio has made his decision re: WWE or ECW, but he knows he’s made his. Tazz speaks about Lawler and says that he’s done telling him, and that on Sunday Night he will choke Lawler out, and swears to it on his child. But as far as right now Tazz is going where Tazz belongs; home, back to ECW. Heyman comes out as Tazz is leaving and the to share a hug as Heyman makes his way into the ring and dismisses Cole back to the announcer’s table.

Heyman says that both wrestlers from RAW and SmackDown doesn’t make him the most popular man, does make him a hero to the ECW crowd. Coming home to ECW are Rob Van Dam, carving out a new for ECW is Kurt Angle, the best commentator Tazz is coming home, and the rumors are true, he has extended a personal invitaton to Rey Mysterio to return to ECW. Heyman hypes up Mystero verses Sabu. Heyman says Mysterio knows he is welcomed back with open arms before he is cut off by Mysterio’s music. Mysterio says ECW was the first American place that gave him a break, but ever since he came to the WWE there’s been one home to Mysterio: SmackDown. Mysterio calls this his home, the fans his people, and this is where he’ll stay. The two shake hands, Heyman thanks him for considering the offer and says he’s always respected him and wishes him luck for One Night Stand, and especially tonight: because he’s going to need it. Heyman joins Cole at the announcer’s table.

Up next: Finlay verses Rey Mysterio.


Main Event: Finlay verses Rey Mysterio
Lock up and Finlay forces Mysterio into the corners and needs to get counted off. Finlay takesdown Mysterio before nailing a suplex an whipping Mysterio into the corner and back into a backbreaker. Finlay with a short arm clothesline before he locks in a shoulder claw, Mysterio kicks out of it. Mysterio with elbows and off the ropes with a spinning headscissors. Mysterio sets up for the 619 but Finlay rolls out of the ring. Mysterio goes for the baseball slide but stops just as Finlay pulls up the ring apron. Nice. Instead Mysterio nails a swinging dropkick and lands on the outside – but Mysterio gets dragged under the ring! Finlay breaks the ten count and Finlay drags him out from under the ring with the Leprechaun still attached! Finlay forces the Leprechaun back under the ring and tackles Mysterio into the apron.

Back in the ring Finlay gets some elbow drops for a two count. Finlay with a scoop slam, with a bow and arrow variation, shoving the knee between the shoulders. Mysterio gets to his feet but gets taken back down into a camel clutch by Finlay, but Mysterio dives forward and slams Finlay into the canvas. Backbreaker by Finlay, before he nails a big knee into the back of Mysterio. Mysterio on the top turnbuckle with the ten punches to Finlay and nails a crossbody for a two count. Finlay off the rope and back with a sunset flip, Mysterio rolls through and kicks Finlay down for a two count. Mysterio goes for the bodyscissors bulldog but Finlay lands him on his feet and clubs him down, before Mysterio uses a bodyscissors to send Finlay to the second rope! Sabu appears on the opposite apron with a chair, only to get the chair dropkicked into him by Mysterio! Mysterio kicks Sabu off the apron again, Shaleleigh shot by Finlay! Celtic Cross for the victory!
Winner: Finlay

Post match Sabu nails Mysterio with a chair shot and gets a table from outside .. but it gets dragged back into the ring! Sabu drags the table right back out and sets Mysterio up on it, goes into the ring and sets up a chair. Sabu runs off the ropes, onto the chair and jumps up onto the top rope and nails Mysterio with a top rope leg drop which ends the show. Good match to end the show on, though there wasn’t really anything better that could have finished the show anyways. Seven out of Ten.

Super Crazy verses Brian Kendrick: 6/10
Vito verses Nunzio: -2/10
Bobby Lashley verses William Regal: 2/10
Mark Henry verses Raymond Row: -5/10
Mr Kennedy verses Scotty Too Hotty: 4/10
Finlay verses Rey Mysterio: 7/10
SmackDown Friday 9/06/06: 12/60

Not a bad show this week. While not as entertaining as last week’s, another week that failed to drag or bore to any big degree. Well, outside of the Bikini Contest but you may have different feelings about that. Ciao Y’all!