Hello all, welcome to the InsidePulse Raw Report for the 13th June, 2006.
I am your host, Danny Wallace. It’s currently 2am here in the U.K. I’ve got my beer on one side, cold pizza on the other, and I’ve got my laptop perched on my, well, lap. Let’s get cracking…
Here’s Paul Heyman, representing ECW. Would like to address the controversy surrounding the World title match last night at One Night Stand. Says that because the match was ECW Rules, (ala anything goes) the result stands, and RVD IS the WWE World Champ. Plugs ECW TV Debut on the Sci-Fi channel. And Here’s the new champ, RVD…
RVD says “ECW”, spins the crappy spinner belt, then we go to the Raw intro vid. A man of many words, I see.
JR and The King run down tonight’s show, and now Randy Orton is coming down to the ring. Joy. While Orton takes his time coming to the ring and posing, JR and King blabber on about how the company is in somewhat of a turmoil, and BOOM, pyro goes off and hereeeeeeees KANE.
Randy Orton vs. Kane
Orton backs Kane into the corner, then backs away. Kane grabs Orton by the throat and throws him into the corner, Orton starts throwing some punches, throws Kane to the ropes and nails a sweet standing dropkick on Kane.
Kane sits up, the nails Orton. Orton’s in the turnbuckle now, and Kane hits a sidewalk slam. Kane climbs the turnbuckle, but Orton’s back up and starts throwing punches at Kane. Kane bocks them, pushes Orton off and then hits a flying clothesline.
Kane teases a Chokeslam, then Orton holds onto the middle of the ropes, but Kane boots him to the outside. Orton and Kane start fighting up the ramp, the bell is rung and both men have been counted out.
Winner: N/A — Double Countout
Orton goes for an RKO on the top of the ramp, but Kane blocks it. OLD SCHOOL KANE’smusic hits, and appears behind Kane. They start brawling, and OSK goes for a chokeslam, as does Kane. OSK rakes the eyes of Kane, who then loses his balance and falls onto the TV equipment table below.
Commercial Link – Look On The Bright Side
Were back, and here comes Charlie Haas… sporting a rather lovely orange bandana. We see a replay of last week’s Raw where Hass knocked Lillian Garcia off the ring apron by accident.
Hass is on the stick now, and says that people make mistakes, and asks Lillian to come into the ring. Lillian steps into the ring. Hass apologises for what he did last week. Says he was reckless, careless, and once again apologises. Hass asks Lillian if she accepts his apology, but before she can answer, Big Vis’s music hits and he comes wandering down to the ring.
Vis gets on the mike, and says Hass’s apology was sweet, but he doesn’t accept his apology, then clocks Hass. Vis starts beating Hass up with some nice chops in the corner, then throws him into the opposite turnbuckle. Vis then runs, splashing Hass in the corner. Hass falls down to the floor, while Viscera starts gyrating (which got a pop from the crowd), then splashes Hass on the mat.
We get a recap video showing us what Triple H did on Raw last week (switching Shane’s bottle of water, pedigree-ing Vince, etc). The video has a certain “green” colour about it.
Now here’s Coach.. Sorry… Jonathan Coachman directing the camera and makeup people for an interview with Vince, up NEXT.
Commercial Link – You Complete Bar Steward!
Were back, and a TV plug for ECW TV or whatever it’s called, for the premiere on the Sci-Fi channel.
JR and King are here, and King goes through his match with Tazz last night at One Night Stand, saying he got jumped from behind. Now King’s actually siding with Eugene, and says he doesn’t condone Sandman’s actions from last night.
Now we’ve got Eugene talking to Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Apparently he’s worried about Duggan’s match with Umaga tonight. Hacksaw talks about why he shouldn’t be scared, and gets pumped up.
Here’s Torrie Wilson walking in the back somewhere.
Ahh… now here’s Vince. Talks about the launch of ECW, and also what happened last week on Raw. Basically, he tells us that he got his ass kicked, and that Triple H should think about the children that watch the show, so he shouldn’t have displayed Vince’s ass like he did. Now he’s going on about the Spirit Squad dismembering Triple H tonight in the handicap match. Apparently Triple H will be reunited with HBK, on the… cue gargling/scary/mean voice… “The Highway To Hell!”
Commercial Link – That Looks So Fake
Back from another commercial… woah… and we have the first ever “Wet and Wild” match. Water Balloons, Water Pistols and other assorted things to get you wet are littered around the ring. Pinfall or Submission ends the bout, and the winner will be on the front cover of this summers WWE Divas Magazine. Torrie Wilson is looking FINE, Candice isn’t that much.
Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle
Both ladies start back to back, then run for the Water Pistols. Torrie’s pumping away, Candices gun isn’t working. Ha. Both girls throw there guns down and start lobbing water balloons at each other. Candice slams Torrie into a pile of water balloons, and Torrie is WET. Candice shoves some balloons down Torries top, then jumps onto Torrie and goes for a pin. Torrie kicks out at 2. Candice winds up in the corner, and Torrie does a stinkface. Candice runs to the outside, and Torrie runs after her with a Water Gun.
Back in the ring, Torrie empties a bucket of water over Candice, then hits the X-Factor and pins Candice for the win.
Winner: Torrie Wilson
All you 13-16 year olds will love this match. Torrie decides to throw some water balloons at JR, just for fun. Now Torrie and her dog cuddle on the top of the ramp, as she takes her exit.
Up next we have a video showing Trish Stratus and her Canadian Hall of Fame appearance. She looks lovely, as always.
After the break, we get to see some EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE from last night’s ECW One Night Stand.
Commercial Link – The Saturn; Sega’s Greatest Console
Back from the break, we get a look at the homepage of ECW.com. JR and King chat about the ending of the Cena — RVD match. Cue the video…
An absolute quality video package, highlighting all the ref bumps, the Edge run in and Heyman counting the 1, 2, 3. And of course, the RVD celebration with the ECW faithful.
JR and The King run through the Cena-Edge match and the HHH — Spirit Squad match. JR said Cena was “Pissed”. Looks like JR’s going a bit EXTREME these days.
The Spirit Squad are in the back, and pump themselves up for the match, which I assume is next. After another sodding comercial break.
Commercial Link – East Coast Bias
“TIME TO PLAY THE GAME…”
Triple H’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring. I need a beer… be right back.
I’m back, and HHH is still in the ring, posing and flexing, so I’m going out on a limb and saying that I don’t think I’ve missed much. I’m sure JR and The King talked about stuff too.
Here’s Vinny Mac on the ramp, and wants to get down to business. Vince runs through HHH’s names (The Game, The King of Kings, etc). Tells the ref to get out of the ring, then a video plays showing us HBK’s beat down from the Spirit Squad 3 weeks ago on RAW. Vince tells H’s that his demise will take a lot longer. Here’s Mikey!
Triple H vs. The Spirit Squad
Mikey runs down to the ring. Triple H clocks him straight away, and controls the match from the start. A loud “DX” chant starts going, and Mikey makes a short comeback before a running knee-lift from Triple H.
Vince calls for Kenny to come down, and he runs into a wall of Triple H. Trip’s goes to pedigree Kenny, but Mikey makes the save. A two-on-one beat down starts, as a “Triple H” chant starts up. More double team manoeuvres, but Kenny misses and Trip’s is on a comeback. Spinebuster to Kenny, and Johnny and Nicky are called for. Both men run down to the match, and it’s now four-on-one. Trips starts throwing punches, but soon succumbs to the numbers.
Trips escapes to the outside, but the Spirit Squad follow and throw him into the steel steps. More outside beat down from the Squad, before throwing Triple H back in the ring. Kenny goes to grab a steel chair, and locks Triple H’s leg in it, but Vince says to put it on his neck instead. Vince calls for Mitch, but Mitch no shows. Mitch comes flying out of the entrance, and HBK appears!
One Sweet Chin Music later, and Mitch is down on the entrance ramp. HBK then runs in the ring and both him and HHH clean house. Another “DX” chant starts, as HHH pedigrees Kenny. JR calls the reuniting of DX, and both HBK and HHH start doing the DX signs to Vince and the crowd goes ape.
Vince looks slightly annoyed. Triple H then MOONS… that’s right.. MOONS Vince McMahon. HBK’s Tanktop is extremely tight fitting. Trip’s and HBK pose as we go to another advert break.
Winner: No Contest
Commercial Link – Monday Morning Flasher
Back from the break, and we get a replay of what just happened i.e. the DX Reunion. About damn time too.
In the back we’ve got Vince McMahon talking to The Spirit Squad, and says that at Vengeance we’ll have The Spirit Squad vs. DX. I’ll be doing that Play By Play too, so if you like this report, expect the same type of quality and humour.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Umaga
Hacksaw Jim Duggan is now on his way out to the ring. Now here comes Umaga. Hacksaw lands some punches, before Umaga just NAILS Hacksaw, sending him flying. Umaga puts Hacksaw in the corner, tree-of-woe style, but Eugene helps Hacksaw escape. Eugene throws the 2X4 into the ring, but Umaga grabs it instead and promptly head butts it, breaking it in two.
Umaga then lands the Samoa Spike on Duggan, and pins him. Eugene runs into the ring, but Umaga ties him up in the ropes. Umaga now squishes Hacksaw with the running butt bump, while Estrada talks trash on the stick.
Winner: Umaga
Commercial Link – Let’s Rave On
As we return from the ad-break, we see another plug for Kane’s Movie, “See No Evil”.
The Car Crash sounds, and here comes Mick Foley sporting a black eye, a support cast and what looks like the same shirt from last night, with burn holes in the back.
He’s on the stick, and apparently the blurred vision and the burns and what not will heal up in about a week or so time. He also says that the old Mick Foley, the cuddly, cheap-popping Foley is back.
As Foley starts to talk, “WOOOOOO….!” Ric Flairs music hits and the Nature Boy himself starts strutting to the ring. Looks like we’ll be getting a Flair vs. Foley match at Vengeance then.
Flair has a mic, and says he doesn’t care about anything Foley did last night. Bleeding means nothing to him. Flair wants to talk to him about Foley and Himself. Flair says he’s wanted to say something to Foley for years. Says Foley standing up for WWE is a load of crap, and calls Foley a glorified stuntman. Awesome. Flair says that when he asks the fans what their best, most memorable match is, they say Foley’s Hell in a Cell match, where Foley flew from the top of the Cell.
Foley they talks trash to Flair, saying Flair doesn’t match up to Foley and that it drives him crazy. Then Foley does a great “woo” with no energy what-so-ever. Foley says he could rip Flair apart, and Flair starts going nuts and elbows his jacket. Flair and Foley get into an almost scuffle, but Foley bails.
Flair wants Foley in the ring, right now. Foley denies his request, but then offers a “Two out of Three falls” match to boot. Flair accepts, in the only way he can (lots of Woooos! and rambling on).
Commercial Link – Nyogtha
Shelton’s in the announce booth, and here comes Johnny No-Heat and Melina. Just announced, is a Triple Threat IC title match at Vengeance. Carlito vs. Nitro vs. Shelton. Sounds fun. Here comes Carlito, as we see a replay video from last week where Carlito pinned Shelton. Shelton blames that on some dust in his eye.
Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito
Hiptoss’ from both men start the match, but Melina distracts Carlito by stealing his apple. Fuck me.. Nitro ran and slid feet first through the ropes and Carlito went straight into the safety barrier.
Both men back in the ring, and Melina gives Carlito a head scissors while Nitro distracts the ref. Back to his feet, Carlito chops Nitro and throws Nitro to the ropes. Nitro reverses and Carlito clotheslines Nitro to the mat. Nitro makes a slight comeback, and throws Carlito to the outside, in front of the announce table. Carlito back in the ring, Melina distracts the ref, Carlito goes for the Back-Cracker but Shelton holds onto Nitro, which makes Carly fall to the mat. Nitro then gets the pin for the win.
Winner: Johnny Nitro
Todd Grisham is backstage with Mickey James, talking about that everybody who messes with Mickey gets injured. Apparently Mickey and Beth both grew up together, went to school together, but then Beth got mean. Now Randy Orton interrupts the interview, says that if Angle has any guts, Angle will face Randy at Vengeance under WWE rules, with a WWE referee. According to Orton, at Vengeance is his destiny.
Commercial Link – The 50 Club — A Clockwork Orange
An awesome video for The Highlanders, who are comin’ to Monday Night Raw. Should be good. Another tag team… which adds up to 3 in the tag division?
JR and The King talk us through what happened earlier on in the night involving Vince, the Spirit Squad and DX, as well as the current Vengeance Card.
Maria is in the back, but Lita takes over. She welcomes the Rated R Superstar, Edge. Edge likes the introduction, and brags about defeating 3 ECW Superstars last night at ONS. Edge then answers Paul E’s personal invitation to appear on ECW tomorrow night.
JR stumbles over some words… The King saves him eventually, and now the camera pans to the crowd, and some EC-DUB stars (Stevie Richards, Balls, Fonsie I think and some others) are coming down to the front-row, and apparently have tickets for the show. Why they weren’t there at the start is beyond me. Talk about wasting money.
Commercial Link – The Weekly Sports Pulse
We’re back from commercial, and Edge and Lita are on their way down to the ring, as JR babbles on about some sort of collusion between Edge, Lita and ECW.
Edge waits for the entrance, and finally Cena’s music hits and here comes the chump.
Edge vs. John Cena
Cena takes Edge down straight away with a spear. Edge gets back up and bails out of the ring and starts running up the ramp. Cena catches up with him, Lita comes in and the ref calls for the DQ. Shite. Edge then legs it over to the ECW guys. Edge tries to escape through the crowd, as Cena follows… and gets suckerpunched by Justin Credible.
Cena then starts brawling with Justin as the other ECW starts jump over and a mass brawl happens, which is finished off with Cena swinging steel chairs at every ECW star, laying them all out.
Cena grabs a mike, and heads into the ring. Cena says he’ll be at ECW tomorrow night, and says he will have “an EXTREMELY good time”. The music hits, and Cena heads up the ramp. He does his new “salute” hand action. Show Ends.
Winner: John Cena vs. DQ
Right… hope you enjoyed this. I’m off to get some sleep, as it’s gone 4am over here in the U.K.
